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September 2015 Moms
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Comforting Baby Vent

starryblue04starryblue04 member
in September 2015 Moms
Is it just me or does anyone else get annoyed when someone trying to "help" tries to take over and comfort your baby? My MIL and FIL are visiting for a few weeks and keep trying to take my LO from me and my husband to comfort her when she is upset/crying which really irritates me bc we are the parents and are fully capable of comforting her ourselves. Furthermore, if my baby is crying hard and you are holding her, give her to me to comfort - stop prolonging the situation. Last night LO had some gas issues and was crying and FIL started pounding on our door trying to see what was happening (all this while my husband was trying to calm
Her down and I was pumping - thank goodness our door was locked bc he was trying to open it!) - she's a baby she cries, and doesn't need an audience while we try to calm her down. Ugh. End vent.
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Re: Comforting Baby Vent

  • jwebbbber45678jwebbbber45678 member
    Wow, that's invasive!
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  • callistosmilecallistosmile member
    Oh my goodness! That's definitely something you need to discuss with them ASAP. I can't even imagine how stressful that must have been.
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  • starryblue04starryblue04 member
    My husband told them, but now he's at work and it's going to be tough without him here to tell them to back off a bit. I'm just going to take her into the nursery and shut the door behind me if she cries or gets upset and hopefully they will get the message. It's going to be a long two weeks...
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  • tlc11934tlc11934 member
    We lived with my parents when DD1 was born. My mom used to knock on the door and get upset when we let the baby cry for more than 15 seconds. She had colic and cried for 6 straight months and we barely slept during that time. I had bad anxiety and would go to therapy to talk about it and my mom would call me to yell that my DH had the door locked and the baby wouldn't stop crying. The three of them was the reason I went to therapy in the first place! Ahhh.

    I think some people aren't used to crying babies. My mom swears I never cried as a baby so to her it was strange that DD cried all the time. I was happy to hand off DD but didn't appreciate the intrusion. At least your ILs are leaving in two weeks!
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  • starryblue04starryblue04 member
    This two weeks is going to be a marathon of a visit! I mean it's not like you were "letting" the baby cry - it's just what happens! I'm trying to be as pleasant as possible, but I'm not enjoying handing baby off because I want to do everything myself! It's all just an adjustment but i hate having guests for this long and hate having to share her. I don't know if that's normal or not but I really just want to be the only one along with my husband to do everything for her.
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  • LouLouLoveLouLouLove member
    I can understand your frustration. LO is colicky and can be inconsolable. I can't necessarily always stop the crying, but he does better with me and DH. My MIL came to visit and kept trying to take him when he was crying. She meant well, but he would only scream louder when he was with her.
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  • BrandiLaw87BrandiLaw87 member
    I can't imagine having in laws stay with us that long and being so intrusive. My MIL doesn't like to share LO. As soon as I see her (whether at our place or hers or wherever) she comes and takes her from me immediately. And she barely lets anyone else hold her. What really bothers me is when LO is fussing and I can't get her back. Like, give me my child woman! This LO is a lot more attached to me than DS was as an infant and I don't think DH's family likes to admit that.
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  • sgleavesgleave member
    My sister is here for the week and this is exactly how she is. Today was my first day back to work and I came home a little early to see how things were going and she wouldn't give baby to me. She also has started telling me what I need to do with him and what he likes. She has no kids, and I've spent the past 7 weeks nonstop with my baby, I think I have a pretty good idea of what he likes...she's been here for only 24 hours! It's going to be a long week. Good luck!
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  • cutemomblogcutemomblog member
    Have any of you tried colic calm? It has made a huge difference for us. It makes LO slightly upset when it's working to relieve the gassiness but after he is able to calm down and rest. It's a little pricey but available I'm sure online or at baby stores. Good luck with the in law issue. My mom took my LO from me once and I had a coming to Jesus with her. I was calm about it but firm that she couldn't just take him from me but would give him to her when I needed help.
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  • kmcshane0211kmcshane0211 member
    edited October 2015
    I thought I'd feel this way with my sometimes overbearing MIL... I don't! If you want to soothe my fussy baby, change her diaper, etc...go for it! It's a welcome break as I kick up my feet and have some wine. ;)

    Although, no one is "taking" her from me. My MIL will kind of suggest it ("oh, come here..."). If I say, "I got it, but thank you" she'd back off.
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  • sydneyhuntsydneyhunt member
    Ugh this just happened to me. I was feeding DS and took a moment to burp him and he started fussing. She literally came over and took the baby off my shoulder and tried to comfort him. First of all he is still hungry... So he isn't going to stop fussing and second why would you take a baby who is being burped off of his mother to comfort him?! I just sat there like what the heck?! She was like what's wrong baby. Uh he is hungry and you just took him from his mother??
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  • lauramichelle58lauramichelle58 member
    That's really annoying. NOBODY can comfort your baby like you can!
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