Working or Staying Home?

Murphed · October 2015

Wondering if other moms-to-be are planning on permanently (or long term) leaving work after baby is born? I've heard that going to work is actually less work. We are very lucky to have an option as to whether I'll go back to work or not, but was wondering what other people are planning.

MamaNicoleof3 · October 2015

I quit my job several weeks before our first was born. We struggled (never went without food or electricity

) for awhile, but it was so worth it to be home with my kiddos. You can never get these years back!

youenjoymyself · October 2015

Working! I feel lucky to be able to afford childcare and still contribute to our household income. I also enjoy medical benefits, contributing to my 401k, saving for college, etc. And I love my daughter's school!

cattlebride · October 2015

I will be a sahm for this one. My MIL has Alzheimer's so I stay home with her and DD. With my first I went back to work.

BPaisley · October 2015

I went back to work after my first and second... but, I am considering staying home this time. We will definitely have to really cut back on our spending.

But, my mom watches DS1 and DS2 and I feel bad asking her to watch 3 kids so young in age, 5 days a week. Also, she had wanted them to go to daycare part-time and sending 3 kids to daycare, even part-time, is so expensive! It seems like such a waste when I would rather have this time at home with them anyway! I may look into part-time work once I get through the early newborn stage with this one, though.

WSU2015 · October 2015

I stayed at home for a year and a half with my first. This time I'll only take a few months off. I'm finishing my degree in December and I'll work through the rest of my pregnancy. We've recently bought our dream home and the mortgage isn't going to pay itself.

HighFive16 · October 2015

I have been off since I had DD which was last year. I loved spending that time with her but I definitely have missed the normality and social aspect of having a job. For a while I felt I lost my identity and had actually started applying for jobs again just before I found out I was pregnant. So for now, I will stay at home and might go back if it is financially feasible when baby 2 is about 8 months so we will be over the worst of the winter for taking kids to day care.

There are pros and cons to both for sure.

colesmom33 · October 2015

I'll be going back to work. I think that staying home is more work! There are many days that I feel like I'm cheating by taking him to daycare!! Financially, it just makes more sense for us. I'm not going to lie, being an older mom, there was a part of me that needed that "normalcy" of going back to work. I've worked there for so many years and with all the change of getting married and having a baby, I needed something that made me still feel like myself. Hope that doesn't make me sound awful!!

goldie987 · October 2015

I would love to stay home and after daycare, I wouldn't really be bringing in that much but DH wants me to go back for the long term gain of not losing career position. We're on the waiting list for a daycare but I'm hoping we can find some type of happy medium (or that DH gets a big raise so my small financial contribution matters even less).

NicknShan · October 2015

Working. I have a great job which allows for a great day care, great benefits, etc. It will also allow me to save for retirement, a kids college fund, be able to travel, and spoil my kids a bit (I am OK with a little). I would love to stay at home with my kids, and I am sure if we wanted we could make it happen, but we have a lot of other things we really want to do with them too. And pay off my student loans. And eventually build a house. And remodel our cabin up north. Staying at home with my kids is temporary - because they go to school eventually. And my job isn't one I can pick back up in five years.

So, I will be going back to work. And I am a proud working mama!

vulpini · October 2015

I've been a sahm since after my son was born, but not entirely by choice. I wanted to go back to work after he turned 1 but never found a job in my field. I plan to take some courses and a certification exam to change my career path somewhat (to a related area) and will start to look for work again a little while after this one is born.

AmberLiz99 · October 2015

When my oldest was 6 months old, I quit my FT job and have been working from home as a contractor ever since, about 15 hours a week. I'm also a frelance seamstress. My son is 4 now, my daughter is 18 months, I'm expecting our third, and I'll keep it up unless something better comes along. It's a strain financially a little bit, I've had to make sacrifices, but it has been what's best in our personal situation.

So I'm home full time and work PT from home, but w/o childcare

bsumter0330 · October 2015

My husband asked me to quit my job after we moved 1.5 hours away (to be near family/support/his business) and the commute became too much when DD was 4 months old. I went back for 2 months and for those 2 months I was stressed and miserable and it made my postpartum a lot worse. I've been a proud SAHM since May 1. 2015 right now I help a disabled relative who has state benefits that pay me to assist her. It's part time but provides a little extra $. It was a huge adjustment but once we got through the first hurdles and learned how to better budget we actually have done better than when I was working FT.

Murphed · October 2015

I worry too about that feeling of losing myself/my identity if I stop working, and also trying to come back into the career world after I've left. I have heard it can be tough. I've also heard from lots of SAHMs that it's so much more work than most expect to stay home.

likeabel · October 2015

I'm a SAHM and love it! I also have an Etsy shop and work about 12-15 hours a week. I'm already having a tough time keeping up with my orders but I'm hoping I'll have it all under control in a few weeks when I'm feeling better. I haven't decided how long I'll go on "vacation" after LO is born.

VeraMali · October 2015

I went back to work full time 8 weeks after my daughter was born in September 2013, it was very stressful and I suffered a lot from PPD. We considered me becoming a SAHM but that June my husband lost his job and the option was taken away. He found a better job that he loves but it made us both Store Managers with long hours and a lot of responsibility. I never got to see my daughter except when I was picking her up or dropping her off places. I missed ALOT of her firsts and she even started calling my mom who kept her "Momma". This past June we were able to pay off some big debts and I quit my job. I can say my kid was 2 years old and I didn't know her at all. It's a hard job being a SAHM but if it stays financially feasible I plan to stay at home till all our children are school age now.
I know that was long winded but I told you my experience to let you know just how much you can miss by going back to work. I know not everyone has the option, I sure as heck didn't, but if you are able to I say its best to stay home while they are so little. Babies need their moms & moms need their babies!

noslen0519 · October 2015

As of now I am planning on going back, but because I am taking an entire school year off, we will see if things end up changing. I would need to resign by the Spring. Sending two kids to daycare is SO expensive, but my insurance is good and (most days) I do enjoy my job. I'm just not sure if I can handle teaching 5 days a week and two kids. This is exactly why we timed this baby when we did- because I (our family) needs the benefit of time (June 2016-Septmeber 2017) to see what we think will work best for us.

Neither one is easy, and both have benefits and drawbacks.

LizM61409 · October 2015

I make more than dh, so it really doesn't make sense for me to stay home. I don't think I'd want to though. But dh hates his job so him staying home eventually is not out of the realm of possibility

tinypikachu · October 2015

I am staying home with baby. I'm a housewife now as I had to quit my job due to medical reasons and decided to take some time off while we figured those out. Now that we have a LO coming, I won't be looking for another job and I've always wanted to stay home with the kids while they're young. It will be hard, but I can't get that time back.

ndure32 · October 2015

I own 2 businesses (1 that is brand new), so I will be working. I do have the luxury of making my own schedule and working from my home office. But the days when I have to go in for meetings and events, we will have to have a part time nanny.

My husband is a leasing consultant for a luxury apartment complex, so his schedule is never the same each week. I'm a little bit stressed about that because I feel like he won't be able to take care of our baby (plus his daughter- who we get a couple of times a month) when I need to go into work on the weekends. I don't want to rely on a full time nanny to take care of our baby. We can't afford to only have 1 income in the family (right now) because I just started the new business. I know everything will work out before the baby is born; but I'm so worried right now. Any advice or similar situations?

SchruteBucks · October 2015

I left my career to be a SAHM after my first was born. I went back into the work force when my older two were in school, but left again to have my third child a few years ago. I now have an in-home childcare so that I can be home with my children and still have an income.

tslmom87 · October 2015

Dh will forever make more than me so I just stay home. I'm happier being a sahm, and it works better for us in the long run.

amangels2 · October 2015

I am definitely going back to work. As much as I would love to be a sahm, it is not an option for me.

Saracp78 · October 2015

I stopped working last December... My first was born end of January

I was planning on taking this year off but going back IF I wasn't pregnant. Looks like this teacher is retired

at least until my oldest starts school

@likeabel what is the name of your etsy shop?

sthomas1222 · October 2015

I just went to work after having been a SAHM for over 2.5 years. Then 2 months in found out I was pregnant. I'll have a 3.5yo, 2yo, & newborn come June. I plan on not returning to work. I miss being home with my kids & at that point I would be bringing no money home anyways.

SnowQueen105 · October 2015

I'll be a SAHM! Hubby and I have always planned for that to happen, so when we first got married, we put 100% of my paychecks into savings and budgeted off of his income. My savings paid the down payment of our house last year!! I'm so thankful that it is an option for me to stay home with our littles. We'd love to have another baby right away, but I'm still holding out to see how it goes with one before committing.

likeabel · October 2015

@Saracp78 it's SewLikeable

kcs7 · October 2015

Will be going back to work. Most of my leave will be unpaid and all medical for us is on me. Plus I love my career

Vinny424 · October 2015

I work from home. If this job didn't kind of fall in my lap, I would be a SAHM. I love it and wouldn't change if for anything but you do be prepared for how difficult it can be. Sometimes you feel secluded or lonely (honestly if it wasn't for my bmb for my son is be a little lost) but IMO it's worth t. Just depends on your personality.

MillerMama13 · October 2015

No option for me. I'm the breadwinner and DHs job doesn't offer health care. I'd love to stay home with my kiddos but it's just not an option.

sara_986 · October 2015

I'll be going back to work but will take every bit of maternity leave I am able to..being a SAHM unfortunately isn't an option for us

Normannicole920 · October 2015

Going back to work. I love my job and love my clients. Plus I think we will be able to work it so I only work 3 long days instead of 4 so I will have baby 4 days a week. Hopefully baby can be with family the other 3 but we shall see how it all works out!

mrsp2213 · October 2015

Definitely going back to work but taking every bit of my 12 weeks off. I'm the breadwinner/benefits provider so not working isn't even an option. The Mr. has off in the winter months and my mom will help with daycare. Trying to convince the Mr. to be a SAHD but I am sadly having no luck.

JessRX88 · October 2015

I'll have to go back to work after 6 weeks. But fortunately, my husband will get to fulfill his dream of being a stay at home dad!

childcaremama · October 2015

I run a licenced in home childcare and preschool with six littles 3 and under 55 hours a week. Baby will join the mix. Sometimes I already feel bad that baby will have to constantly share mommy and no doubt will get sick lots at first. We need my income and thankfully I'll still be with baby all day.

Jason&Erin82507 · October 2015

I stopped working when I was 5 months pregnant with DD#1 (back in Jan 2010) and have been a SAHM ever since. DD#1 is now in kindergarten, but DD#2 and baby #3 will keep me busy ;-)

mkemommy · October 2015

I'll be returning to work, I make more than H and have the insurance. H would love for me to stay home...not in the cards.

mdkamommy · October 2015

I am a FTM due June 11th. My husband is in his dream career. We are blessed to own our own home. I work full time but we decided I would work 24 to 32 hours a week after baby arrives. We decided we did not want to miss any moments so baby will not be going to daycare. I love these forums they are so helpful and encouraging.

FutureMrsCAF · October 2015

I'm already a SAHM, but I also teach voice lessons out of the house and perform a few times a year in concerts and operas. It's nice to have the best of both worlds. It isn't easy financially, but DH works 2 jobs so we make it work. I'll continue to be a SAHM until our last child is in school all day.

CourtJack · October 2015

I have no idea yet. DH and I both have great jobs with benefits etc. I have the option of taking up to five years of leave at my job (only one of those years is paid) and I'd have my spot to come back to. I don't know if I'd take the full five or just until this one starts school - or any at all. It's really tough to say. I hate dropping my daughter at daycare every day so I'd love to be a SAHM - but I also know that it would be 1000x tougher than my day job now. Ack. So many decisions to make.

stxaggie · October 2015

I will take 12 weeks off and then am planning to go back to work. I love my job and would go crazy if I had to stay home all day. I worked from home about 8 years ago and it was horrible on my marriage and I was miserable. I also can't imagine asking my DH for money if I wanted to buy something for myself or the baby. Right now he pays all the bills and what I make is mine to do as I please. Plus we have insurance through me since he is self employed. I will likely hire a nanny to come to my home and watch the baby or take my mom up on her offer to retire.

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