Family rants & raves - October

DolphinLover2002 · October 2015

Put your new family issues here! Let's hear the good and the bad!

DolphinLover2002 · October 2015

Nobody has anything about their great or annoying family?

ChardeeMacDennis · October 2015

Nothing in particular to report. My parents are far away and ok, my in-laws are close by and awesome.

7425cait · October 2015

Spending 5 days with my in-laws with LO. DH won't be around to buffer. I love them, but good lord. 5 days of hearing my MILs anecdotes and 'I'm always right' attitude is gonna be rough.

virginiaunicorn11 · October 2015

Good genes run in my father's side of the family, knock on wood. So yesterday, Grandma (96) was on the phone with her niece, who is planning Grandma's brother's 100th birthday celebration next month (!).

After discussing party details with her niece, Grandma asked to speak with her brother. They are both extremely hard of hearing, so here's how the conversation went on Grandma's side:

"Hello, how are you?... Good!...Yes, I know. I can't believe you're so old... I can't believe you're so old....So OLD. I can't believe it!... Old... OLD!...YOU'RE OLLLD....SO. VERY.OLLLLD.!!!!!... Ok, goodbye."

DH and I were in the living room with Grandma and couldn't look at each other, for fear of laughing.

KarasTwin · October 2015

@virginiaunicorn11 I want to hang out with her. She sounds hysterical

virginiaunicorn11 · October 2015

KarasTwin said:
@virginiaunicorn11 I want to hang out with her. She sounds hysterical

She's amazing! She tells me I'm her best friend, and I feel the same. She was really close to her grandmother growing up, and she says our relationship keeps her connected to her grandmother, as well.

Grandma bakes all kinds of cookies and cakes, has a thick Jewish Bronx accent, and all creatures love and are fed by her. (One year she made a second Thanksgiving turkey for the six dogs that attended the event.) She volunteers twice a week at her local library, from 10:00-3:00, and lives alone in her house. She's a total pistol! We are beyond lucky to have her. She's survived cancer three times and had triple bypass surgery when she was 78. She took up golf at 70, and retired from it at 85. They don't make them like this lady any more, I tell ya.

KarasTwin · October 2015

@virginiaunicorn11 she sounds like a firecracker. I was super close to my Granny, but we lost her about 5.5 years ago to a sudden attack of pancreatitis. After surgery her organs shut down and her blood pressure dropped super low. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think of her, especially since LO was born. She loved babies and I know she would have been ecstatic to meet him and my niece. She was hilarious, she used to always say, "Anna, even if you don't know what you're doing, you just stand there and act like you've got good sense." Whenever I'm doubting myself, I remember that. Grandmothers are special people and I'm so glad LO has both of his in his life and I can't wait to see what memories he'll make with them.

Sammy K · October 2015

I'm so jealous of your that are close with your families! I love hearing the good stories because it gives me hope I can do better. When DH first started talking about starting a family, my response was "Why do you want a family? They only cause pain." Ouch. So keep the good stories coming, I'm over here taking notes.

virginiaunicorn11 · October 2015

KarasTwin said:
She was hilarious, she used to always say, "Anna, even if you don't know what you're doing, you just stand there and act like you've got good sense." Whenever I'm doubting myself, I remember that.

I love this!!

KaLikeAWind · October 2015

I'm also jealous of these great family stories. I don't really have any, either. Me and my sister have some, I guess, which makes sense because she is the only one of my family that I could stand to hang out with consistently. I actually do wish we lived closer together so we could 'family' events. I have no desire to do traditional family events like Thanksgiving dinner or birthday parties with any of my family except my sister

@virginiaunicorn11 your grandma is awesome. I want to come hang out with her.

aj1327 · October 2015

@virginiaunicorn11 that's hilarious and so awesome! How lucky you both are to have each other! @KarasTwin what awesome advice! That's my new motto! I never knew any of my grandparents. I hope all the time that my in laws stay healthy so LO will know them. DH's step dad, who is one of my favorite people, came by last week with a latte for me and a toy for the baby. He was so excited to show Colin his new toy. It was so sweet!

KarasTwin · October 2015

That makes me sad for ya'll that didn't have that, but I know you're great mommies and no matter how big or small your families are, immediate and extended, your LOs will always have special memories and know they are loved

krystleshel · October 2015

So my BIL calls my husband at random times and wants to talk for hours. It gets to the point that my DH asks me to put LO down & cry for a min so he has an excuse to get off. Hahaha. Just happened now.

rrcameron21 · October 2015

krystleshel said:
So my BIL calls my husband at random times and wants to talk for hours. It gets to the point that my DH asks me to put LO down & cry for a min so he has an excuse to get off. Hahaha. Just happened now.

I've soooo done this when i want to get off the phone hahahahaha. Horrible. But, does the trick!

virginiaunicorn11 · October 2015

Families are usually a mixed bag, I find. Last month we were visiting my uncle, who I love dearly. DH was sitting in an easy chair in the living room, when my uncle came up to him and said, "Whoops, I forgot this!"

DH was sitting on a freaking loaded gun. My uncle's four grandchildren were running around the house, getting into everything.

This uncle has a gun closet of over 100 guns. I had previously categorized him as a "responsible gun owner" but this is just one of a few incidents.

Not trying to open the gun debate (though for me, it's like vaccines - facts are on my side, and I am starting to care less who I offend because my family's safety is at risk). More trying to say even when you're close to your family, I find it's often only due to forgiveness, patience, and well-tested unconditional love.

lovethatcolosun · October 2015

My grandma used to mess with telemarketers when they would call. Her favorite on was Miracle Ear (hearing aid company for you young ones). She would just keep saying, "ayyyee?" "What?" "Could you speak up?" And then hang up. My mom and her never really got along that great, but my mom always kept trying. My dad suggested that his way of breaking through her tough side was to joke/razz her a bit. My mom tried it and grandma got so mad. It was a total backfire and grandma was insulted. My mom never did that again!

carajeanp37 · October 2015

virginiaunicorn11 said:

Not trying to open the gun debate (though for me, it's like vaccines - facts are on my side, and I am starting to care less who I offend because my family's safety is at risk). e.

This exactly.

RaiEliJusHell1369 · October 2015

This is going to be long. Sorry. My MIL is driving me insane. Don't get me wrong, I love the woman, but my god.

Fist, Last Sunday the family went out to dinner for my DH birthday. Somehow the Pope became a topic which lead to ideology. Long story short, she didn't like a comment and proceeded to say that everyone was judging her and that she's tired of being attacked. Nothing was said about her, noone called her on her bs, she just decided to throw a hissy fit.

Second, today we were having a birthday party for my niece and the whole time she kept telling the girls-my Nieces- that mommy and daddy are mean people and that they don't care about her and Papaw. (Eye Roll)

Third, DH and I want to go on a date night. So My DH decided to ask her if she could watch our son this weekend for a couple hours and her response was that she had spent enough time on grandma duty. No big deal, except she complains that she never sees him and that we purposely keep him from her,which is not true by any means.

I'm just over her drama. There's not enough wine or rum in the world...

Thanks for letting me rant. I've built that up all week.

janat1717 · October 2015

@amccoy129 I'm right there with you. I only ever had one grandparent and she passed away while I was in HS. I LOVED DH's grandpa but he passed away a few years ago. He didn't get to see us get married or LO. Such a bummer.

mindaa · October 2015

Rave, my mom made us the cutest cloth pocket diapers. So far I love them, they are fully adjustable for different sizes and seem to wash really well.

Unfortunately, the clothes she sent along with them included some 3 month outfits. LO is 4 months old, and I always feel bad when people spend money on clothes LO won't be able to wear. (can't return them myself, the store doesn't have any locations in my state).

AlyLynn07 · October 2015

lovethatcolosun said:
My grandma used to mess with telemarketers when they would call. Her favorite on was Miracle Ear (hearing aid company for you young ones). She would just keep saying, "ayyyee?" "What?" "Could you speak up?" And then hang up. My mom and her never really got along that great, but my mom always kept trying. My dad suggested that his way of breaking through her tough side was to joke/razz her a bit. My mom tried it and grandma got so mad. It was a total backfire and grandma was insulted. My mom never did that again!

We started putting our 2 yo DS on the phone to talk to telemarketers. He is a Jr., so if they ask for DH, technically they get someone with that name.. Of course, that's not possible when they call after 8pm when he is asleep!

(

virginiaunicorn11 · October 2015

DH and I are back in our hometown for 5-9 months, while we await our UK visas. His mother and my parents live here, and are friends. We all get along really well, but I can see that this may not go perfectly...!

Our plan was to bounce between his mom's and my parents' house. But my parents cleaned out two bedrooms for us, and his mom still has her boyfriend's stuff filling "our" room to the brim, and did not set up a crib like she said she would.

So we will be staying primarily with my parents. And his mother is already a little offended to hear that. Um, lady, what do you expect?! We don't have a single drawer in her house!

NH627 · October 2015

Helicopter. Family. At my parents house feeding LO so I get a few minutes to myself. My anxiety is up to here. My sister (12 years old) helicopters when I have LO and takes LO away from my mom. I know everyone is super excited there is a baby but the reason she keeps crying is probably from all the people poking at her. My grandmother told me no when I went to take her when she starting crying. Wth. I know people are fighting over her isn't the worst thing and it's just because they love her. That doesn't mean that it doesn't create serious stress on momma!

Eta: LO apparently isn't that hungry but is over tired because she can't sleep here. They don't need to know that I'm just sitting here with LO basically sleep eating. I get quiet time and she can sleep for a minute. Win-win.

queequeg09256 · October 2015

Rave in laws agreed to cme up from the 28th- Jan 1st to watch lo for free!! Thank god because the daycare is closed and I'm out of vacation

virginiaunicorn11 · October 2015

Since it seems to be a running theme... Bump

MouseMama817 · October 2015

@virginiaunicorn11 I love your anecdotes about your grandma! I laugh every time!

MouseMama817 · October 2015

krystleshel said:

So my BIL calls my husband at random times and wants to talk for hours. It gets to the point that my DH asks me to put LO down & cry for a min so he has an excuse to get off. Hahaha. Just happened now.

My BIL will call to chat at like midnight or later. Wtf? Obviously DH doesn't answer but it wakes us both every time. Lucky him my daughter is not a light sleeper or I'd have to rip his head off. You'd think he'd understand how annoying it is to have your sleep disrupted, being a dad himself. But nope. Head in the sand.

@NH627 I feel you on the helicopter thing. My brother's wife has straight up taken my daughter out of my arms on not one, but 2 occasions. I was so shocked I didn't know what to do either time. Who does that?? I'm considering baby-wearing when we go to my family's for Thanksgiving to prevent everyone from passing her around. They look at me like I'm making stuff up when I try to explain overstimulation.

ETA: My family rant. My mom has the flu and called to say how sorry she was she wouldn't be able to keep our babysitting arrangements this week, she's going to try to get better asap, etc. DH dropped off some chicken soup to her earlier today. I talked to her a bit ago and not only has she not eaten her soup, but she's having a few beers with my dad! That's their Sunday thing, NBD, but way to take care of yourself Grandma.

virginiaunicorn11 · October 2015

This may be an UO, but I thought this list from a MIL's perspective was pretty good, and is something I pretty much embrace. Maybe it's easy because I have a pretty great MIL for the most part.

Though I would do better to take issues to my MIL directly rather than asking my husband to do it. (Biggest thing has been FB posts, lol - she put a lot of one-week post partum photos (in my PJs and misery) on FB and tagged me...then got hurt when DH told her to stoppit).

https://www.scarymommy.com/the-daughter-in-law-your-mil-wants/

Sammy K · October 2015

I'm glad she's not my MIL. Jeesh, what an angry grandma! And the gift thing irks me. I don't want to deal with all the plastic crap MIL buys. I'd rather she save the money and visit more since she's 9 hours away.

MouseMama817 · October 2015

^^ I think her elaborations are inflammatory but I agree with the overall message. It almost sounds like a Bump MIL rant! Either way the bullet points are good to keep in mind. Maybe if I work to think of our relationship from my MIL's point of view, she'll eventually stop getting on my nerves. Here's hoping. :-S

aj1327 · October 2015

I think I have an UO of not really caring when family passes my baby around. I usually hand him off right when my MIL or my SIL walk in if they are coming here. I'll take him back if he's fussy, but I mostly feel blessed that he has family that wants to hold him and love on him. He is a good natured baby for the most part and doesn't seem to get stressed. I also want him to know and love family other than me and DH.

Plus, he's 20 lbs. My arms need a break!

ChardeeMacDennis · October 2015

@amccoy129 I'm with you. This leap has turned her into a real mama's girl and I'm dying for a break. We have Sunday night dinners and I used to get her back only to feed, now I have to hold her the whole time.

Sammy K · October 2015

@amccoy129 Same here. With 2 kids, I'm more than happy to hand them over. Unfortunately, they usually get handed back when they're cranky. But I always assume a visit with the grandparents means DH and I get to go out to dinner someplace where you're not allowed to color on the table cloth.

mindaa · October 2015

virginiaunicorn11 said:

This may be an UO, but I thought this list from a MIL's perspective was pretty good, and is something I pretty much embrace. Maybe it's easy because I have a pretty great MIL for the most part. Though I would do better to take issues to my MIL directly rather than asking my husband to do it. (Biggest thing has been FB posts, lol - she put a lot of one-week post partum photos (in my PJs and misery) on FB and tagged me...then got hurt when DH told her to stoppit). https://www.scarymommy.com/the-daughter-in-law-your-mil-wants/

Good for your DH for dealing with that! PJ photos on FB, that's a definite "no."

queequeg09256 · October 2015

Haha that mil post is awesome. My mil is really awesome so I can't complain they do stay to long at my house though. But now I've said something like I love you guys but I hate anyone who stays at my house longer than a week, mostly because I have to wear a bra.. even dh and I need alone time from each other.

queequeg09256 · October 2015

Ok question my sister who I'm not the fondest of who lives in the same town as me and has seen lo like 6 times keeps calling her pika. This is a nickname I gave her a few months ago. It annoys the crap out of me. One she never spends time with her. 2 it's my special name for her and 3 I really don't like her so anything she does drives me nuts anyway. Am I being ridiculous? I haven't told her to knock it off because I never really see her anyway but it still pissed me off.

aresee · October 2015

I was talking to my mom the other day and asked if she'd ever heard of baby led weaning. It's not something we've decided on yet, but the emphasis on real foods and not having to buy special baby food appeal to me, so I'm trying to think about it and learn more about it. Anyway, she'd never heard of it, and was super rude about it when I tried to explain. She said LO would just mash up the food and wouldn't eat it, and when I explained that at first it's about LO learning about food and different textures/tastes, she scoffed and said when she gave me cereal she was just feeding me. The kicker was when I mentioned that you start with easy-to-eat foods like avocado, she said (no joke) "there's a fine line between avocado and french fries." WTF? I know BLW can be controversial, but I didn't expect her to so openly scoff at the basic idea of giving my child real food. At that point I just shut down the conversation and moved on to something else. Ugh.

MouseMama817 · October 2015

^^ I'm not seeing the avocado/French fry similarity lol. DH and I are planning on BLW, Something I realize may be unfamiliar to our mom's generation so I haven't brought it up to anybody. It's not their business how I decide to feed my baby anyway. If you think BLW will work best for your family don't let your mom's reaction discourage you. Mine always says "oh brother..." Whenever we talk about new fangled parenting approaches lol. I think she thinks I'm being judgey when I veer away from how she did things. Maybe that's where yours is coming from?

queequeg09256 · October 2015

I know I just don't tell my mom what parenting thing we are doing. She gave me a lot of crap for breastfeeding so it just keeps everyone on good terms if I say we fed the baby carrots today look at the pictures.. lol.

aresee · October 2015

I think she was thinking that baby food is made for babies, and if we start feeding her "grownup" food, we'll wind up feeding him crap. But you're probably right, it's probably just because it's different from what she did. She's been super supportive of us cloth diapering, but my brother and I were in cloth diapers, so maybe that doesn't seem as out there.

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