Who are you inviting to the hospital and when?

katec4vt · October 2015

My husband and I are having our second child in February and have decided to do something we're sure will cause hurt feelings:

We've decided we don't want anyone at the hospital until after I've delivered our daughter and we've gotten to spend ample time with her by ourselves.

In fact, we're so sure this is how we want things to go, that I'm willing to not even call anyone to tell them I'm in labor until we've had the time we want.

We're not completely inept. My mom and I are extremely close and I know this is going to really upset her. Unfortunately, while we're fairly certain she would respect our wishes if we did call her but asked she wait for us to let her know when to visit; we know others wouldn't.

Has anyone else tried this? We don't necessarily want to spring on people that this is what we intend to do; however, we don't want to hurt feelings in advance when our plans have a strong likelihood of not working out if I go into labor while my husband is working and someone else has to drive me to the hospital.

LisaDawnA · October 2015

I also told both of our moms we don't want anyone at the hospital until after the baby is born. I don't want to feel like anyone is waiting for me to hurry up and push a baby out.
My mother in law wasnt happy about it. My mom is glad she isn't being asked to drop everything and drive over an hour in the dead of winter. We also don't intend on calling our family if I go into labour at night. They will find out when they wake up in the morning.
I don't think this is inconsiderate. It's my baby, my birth, my rules.

Aussiechicka · October 2015

Last time we told family pretty quickly and regretted it right alway. My MIL and FIL showed up within an hour and I was struggling with breastfeeding and we'd only been in the ward about 15 mins so I felt super unsettled. And then they wouldn't leave!

This time we live in TX with no family, my sister is flying in from Australia for 2 weeks but she'll stay at home with our toddler and then come in when we are ready.

Make sure you give yourselves plenty of time as a family alone if that's what you want, and if you are worried about people showing up before you are ready you can also ask the nurses not to let anyone in.

mamacat315 · October 2015

When I had my first, we didn't tell anyone till after the baby was born, and didn't have anyone come meet the baby till we were home for a few days. It was great! We really got to bond as a family and I got to come to grips with breastfeeding. Granted, my family lives across the Atlantic Ocean so they couldn't just show up. My mother-in-law was a little annoyed but got over it pretty quickly.

katec4vt · October 2015

Wow! I am so surprised I'm not the only one who has wanted to do this!

I'm still certain this will almost devastate my mom. Unfortunately, like I said, I think she would respect our wishes if we called her and asked her to wait to come, but my in laws [especially] would not.

Kiek · October 2015

Nobody. Now, granted, we are going to a birthing center and will go home the same day the baby is born. But my mom and mil were there when my daughter was born (husband was deployed) and I know they were expecting to be there again. But this is a special moment for DH and I and we are having just the two of us.

katec4vt · October 2015

@Kiek my mom and MIL were also present when I was in labor with our first, but stepped out while I was pushing until we were ready for them to come back in. Frankly I just know that having them even in the waiting room will make me feel obligated to let them in before we are ready (hence wanting to not tell them until we're ready for them to be there).

MississippiCatfish · October 2015

We've done this, and no one was upset.

ETA. My bad, we didn't wait til after baby was born to let our parents know. Unless things just go really fast and there isn't a lot of down time to let them know, i just don't see that as very trusting that they'll be respectful of our wishes. My DH sent a text when we got to the hospital or sometime around then saying, "We're at the hospital - well let you know how things are going and when you can come!" Next communication was at 2am saying "Baby is here - we're going to try to get some rest so well let you know when you can come in the morning." Nobody came before we wanted, nobody was upset. MIL did bring along DH's overbearing aunt without asking though, so I guess that's something I'll be more clear about this time in our situation!

Ju111310 · October 2015

I did this with my first, our parents were really irritated about it but they got over it. I didn't want a waiting room full of people rushing us to nurse/finish bonding as a new family and I didn't want my husband distracted by them texting/calling for updates. I didn't want my cervix discussed with my FIL or any family for that matter. They agreed to not come to the hospital till we were ready, so we did let them know when I checked in to the hospital in labor. My in-laws live an hour away from the hospital so we called them shortly after he was born and told them they could get dressed and head over. I had time to nurse, skin-to-skin and get all covered up. Unfortunately, my mother didn't respect my wishes and she showed up and sat in the waiting room thinking I wouldn't find out. My sister and best friend were there (as we had requested) and they ratted her out. So when my sister had her baby 6 months later, we didn't call mom till it was over. She won't be notified this time until this baby has arrived, nursed and bonded.

VitaLuna · October 2015

My mom and I had a long conversation about this last time. My H just wanted it to be the two of us or L&D, but I knew my mom would be really sad if she couldn't be there.

We agreed that she could pop in and out during labor, but right after DD was born we wanted some time with the two of us before she came back. We didn't plan to tell anyone until she was born, and my mom knew not to share.

Well, that all went out the window when I had a c/s due to complications. My mom was really nervous, so they came and stayed in the waiting room while I had the section.

I made it very clear to my extended family (grandma, aunts.. We're a close family) that I didn't want any visitors right away. They all rolled their eyes a little, but were respectful of my wishes. I actually was glad to have them visit in the hospital, because then people weren't showing up at my house the second we got home. I delivered 45 min from home, so that kept the visitor count way down.

Keep in mind that we may still be in flu season when these babies are born, and a lot of hospitals now have strict visitor restrictions during the flu season (mine allows 4 TOTAL your entire stay), so it may end up being a non-issue.

katec4vt · October 2015

That's a great point @vitaluna that I wasn't aware of. Frankly, I've already mentioned to my MIL that my husband and I, as well as my mother (and now my MIL) have had flu shots and while I was sure my SIL was probably against them, I can't have people possibly giving influenza to a newborn. I hadn't even thought about the hospital having restrictions like this. Last time they did ask our preference on visitors, but since we only wanted our parents we didn't go over three the whole time.

LEAA14 · October 2015

The short answer: we aren't inviting anyone to the hospital.

The longer answer:

My parents and sister live in different states and are planning to visit a few weeks after the baby is born for her naming ceremony. DH is very close with his family, but I like my privacy, so I was a little worried that he was going to want them to be at the hospital right after or during birth, but he's told me that he doesn't even plan on telling his parents when I go into labor (which is a huge relief since I often come off as standoffish with his family and he's the one who gets to put his foot down for once this time). Obviously we'll tell them when the baby is actually born (the plan is to just say that things happened too quickly for us to tell them when it was happening), but they won't be visiting us at the hospital and we're hoping to get a couple days alone at home before they come by. I don't want to feel like there is any additional pressure to rush during labor and I don't want them around while we're figuring out breastfeeding/home routine, etc. We're planning to ask BIL (who is so oblivious that he wouldn't think to tell their parents) or some friends that live a block away to watch the dogs when we go to the hospital. Hopefully no one is offended, but I frankly don't really care if they are.

thoughtfulmommy · October 2015

We waited with our first until I ended up in the OR getting prepped for a c-section, and then DH called our parents. I was exhausted and because of our large family (4 sets of parents), it felt like hours before I got time alone. This time around, we are going to wait even longer to tell. We have to tell my mom so she can watch our DS, but otherwise we will notify family a few hours after we give birth.

4N6s · October 2015

It'll just be me and my husband while I'm delivering and whoever else wants to come after the baby is born is fine.

Kiek · October 2015

I will add that since we (hopefully) won't be having any kind of hospital stay, if people want to see the baby, they'll need to come to our home which I'm okay with since I feel much more comfortable here. Also I know that DD will need extra attention during that time so more hands will be helpful with that. We have a very small home and everyone lives at least two hours away so nobody will be able to stay here for a terribly long time and no overnight visitors which is perfect.

oxsarah7ox · October 2015

Just my H an I will be in the delivery room. My sisters are going to be super disappointed because I was in there for their births, but H is very private and wants this time just for us. With my family, we are used to the sisters and parents waiting in the waiting room, but I know this probably won't happen as H wants some alone time after baby is born, which I am fine with.

As for visitors, my extended family is very close, and we have many aunts, uncles, and cousins. BUT I have a big family on the in-law side. If I include parents, kids, and our nieces and nephews there is 17 on his side, and 15 on my side. Then we have very close friends. I am going to tell my aunts, uncles, and cousins that they will have to wait until we are home to visit, because that will be way to many people in the hospital. I already know this will piss far too many people off but oh well.

MaybeMab · October 2015

The first 24 hours no one will be at the hospital. Not even our daughter. I want time to recover from the c-section and bond with our son. With my daughter the first 24 hours I spent sleeping and not bonding. I want things to be different this time.

Edit to add the following

After 24 hours anyone and everyone is welcome to visit. But I doubt anyone will come. Was the same way with our daughter.

thisusername · October 2015

I feel a little bad about this because both H and his mom want her in the room, plus she's flying from California to be here for it, but I've expressed many times that I do not want anyone besides Vincent in the room with me while I am pushing. I don't want my MIL to see my crotch, and I don't want to be an ugly swearing repulsive monster in front of such a sweet loving woman. They have a really cozy waiting room with beds out in the front which is where she will be, but I feel horrible about it. If actually started a fight and then my husband realized since he isn't birthing, he doesn't get final say. No one else will be here, too far away. Which is kind of nice, I can't stand disappointing one person! She was kind about it, but I know she's sad. I'm lucky I don't have a mean or crazy MIL.

beaarthur4 · October 2015

While I'm in labor, I am going to have my SO. My mother can be there...she was there for my first. This worked out well because My SO couldn't stomach much of the labor and had to step out. So I wasn't alone when she was born and I had someone to cut the cord! She may end up having to watch our toddler though...so we shall see.

My in-laws are about 3 hours away, so they will probably come a few days later. We are all in the North East, so the weather will probably impact visiting as well.

Most of the visitors I had last time were co-workers as I delivered in the hospital system where I work. That was a little weird...

Twindling · October 2015

I know I'm in the minority but short answer:
We're inviting everyone to the hospital and not allowing anybody at our house. If people want to see the baby, it needs to be at the hospital.

Reason being:
-I don't want to play host at my house.
-don't want to tell people they've stayed too long (nice to let my nurses do this for me)
-I can tell hospital visitors that there's "visiting hours"
-don't want to worry about my house being presentable
-less germs in my house

sonoshark88 · October 2015

I've been thinking of doing the same thing...I'm not very fond of my in-laws (side note my husband isn't either lol) and my mom can be a little over the top. She already told me to call her when I start having contractions so she can start driving. She lives about 7 hours away. This is our first and I kinda just want it to be Me and my husband. Ive actually thought about laying low and not saying anything to anyone until we're home, but I just read @Twindling s post and she's got a good point too. Im not going to want to play host to people nonstop, either. I'm a hermit sometimes lol.

My mom wants to stay with us for the first week or however long, and I kinda wanna say no, but I don't know. I might appreciate the help, as long as she helps me with laundry and not just the baby cause I'm thinking I'm gonna wanna do that.

kinnonam · October 2015

This is our first so everyone has already called dibs on all the space in the hospital room. But, to there surprise my hospital doesn't allow anyone to visit the first hour after delivery for mommy and baby bonding time. I will have my step mom with me during delivery. I don't plan on making any calls until maybe 2-3 hours after delivery so I can get alone time.

wisco29 · October 2015

Family and my hope and goal is the day after she's born.

[-O< I'm super nervous how that's going to go over for some of our family members.

twinmom1121 · October 2015

With my twins, I had a scheduled csection so my inlaws where there at the hospital while I was in surgery and my family showed up right as I was being taken to my room after recovery. So we had the "golden hour" so I could figure out breastfeeding, but half the time the babies were still being monitored and things so I didn't really get much bonding time. Then the second I got to my room literally everyone was there wanting to see the babies! I was there for 4 days and there was someone there almost the entire time. This time around I really don't want visitors for a while but I'm not sure how to tell everyone that. My mom reallllly wants to be in the delivery room if I do a vbac but I'm not so sure what I want.. It'll also depend on who is watching my boys too, when they'll come to visit. I guess I still have to figure things out a bit! I just know I want more bonding time then I felt like I got with my firsts.

camusoh2011 · October 2015

We are having a schedule c-section this time and assuming we make it to that day, the plan is for the only other people to know the actual time of the c-section to be whomever we decide is watching our sons that day (probably my SIL). Everyone else is going to be told that if they would like to visit they are welcome to come to the hospital at least 2 hours (maybe more like 3) after the surgery was supposed to start. I want to give plenty of time for the twins to get here, me to go to recover, and for us to all be reunited. I want some time to bond with the two of them and try and nurse. Our other kids will be the firsts invited back to visit followed by any other family or friends who have come to visit.

RN0107 · October 2015

Twindling said:
I know I'm in the minority but short answer:
We're inviting everyone to the hospital and not allowing anybody at our house. If people want to see the baby, it needs to be at the hospital.

Reason being:
-I don't want to play host at my house.
-don't want to tell people they've stayed too long (nice to let my nurses do this for me)
-I can tell hospital visitors that there's "visiting hours"
-don't want to worry about my house being presentable
-less germs in my house

All of this. I'm having a RCS and all of our immediate family will be there waiting while I'm in the OR. Once I'm in recovery they are welcome to come in and see the baby. I prefer it this way. It gets everyone's visit out of the way at one time. Then we have the rest of the day just the 3 of us to bond instead of having a steady stream of visitors throughout the day. It worked out really well last time when I had DS2.

cvolkmar · October 2015

I'm SO happy to read all of these comments. I have honestly been having anxiety over it. I don't really care if my family is there, but they don't need to be there the entire time…and as long as they understand, they'll be waiting a few hours after the baby is actually born to come. I want that alone time. I want to nurse and try to figure that out without an audience. My husband is an only child, so I know this will drive his parents CRAZY! And right now, my mom is on my last nerve when she "squeals/babbles/or does some SUPER annoying baby talk" towards the baby - so I don't want to listen to that while I'm in labor. Maybe I'll just call my dad..that'll go over like a fart in church, but he's the one with a medical career…and who my DH and I want there if there are any complications.

thisusername · October 2015

Twindling said:
I know I'm in the minority but short answer:
We're inviting everyone to the hospital and not allowing anybody at our house. If people want to see the baby, it needs to be at the hospital.

Reason being:
-I don't want to play host at my house.
-don't want to tell people they've stayed too long (nice to let my nurses do this for me)
-I can tell hospital visitors that there's "visiting hours"
-don't want to worry about my house being presentable
-less germs in my house

Honestly as horrible as this is, my MIL is OCD so I'm asking her to sleep over the night before we get there to settle the animals. The real reason? She's going to clean up, I already know it. I'm not letting my husbands coworkers visit at the apartment either. Too small and weird. See me at the hospital. Way easier, they're already there!

cMichelle0423 · October 2015

We did this with our last baby and while most people were fine with it, it created A LOT of drama with my FIL and his GF. They felt "robbed of an experiece" because they've always been present during their other grandchildren's birth and blah blah blah. They've already voiced that they "hope we can let them be apart of things this time", but I still feel the same way about things. We're using a birth center that's almost 2 hours away and I have no intentions of allowing anyone near us while I'm in labor, so I don't see the point in calling them to make the drive down just to sit around for who knows how many hours before I feel ready for visitors. I told DH we should talk to them about what they're hoping for since our ideas of keeping them apart of things are probably very different. But I in now way plan to deviate from my birth plan just to make them happy.

blueberrymomma · October 2015

Ok so here's my dilemma. With DD I had my mom and DH in there with me. It was great my mom came and went and left immediatly after delivery to be alone. I have a lot of anxiety and she really helps calm me down.
This time DH wants just us because he doesn't want his mom to get jealous again and he like doing things himself.
I don't want to call anyone till afterwards besides my mom, so she can a) watch DD or b) be there. DH thinks this is unfair to his family but they are very overbearing, especially MIL. MIL will literally be in the waiting room the whole time and constantly call DH for updates and she really stressed me out last time with all her questions.
So how do I confince DH to do it my way without pulling the "I'm giving birth not you" card?

BabyHope2013 · October 2015

The first time we ended up being induced so everyone knew we would be having DS. DH sent a text to everyone when DS was born. We purposely told everyone to stay home and sit tight till he was born. I didn't want everyone just sitting around in the waiting room. Personally I just didn't think it was a great use of anyone's time. And I wanted the special time with DH and our new baby. DS ended up being born in the early afternoon. My parents and brother came to the hospital that night around dinner. My in laws came the following night. Even if I go into labor naturally this time we will probably only tell everyone that I'm in labor with more updates to come via text. My parents will get an actual phone call because they will be taking care of DS when we go to the hospital.

malaki1418 · October 2015

This is our plan as well. Granted family lives across the country, but I have had offers to let certain family members know when I'm in labor so they can hop on a plane. I thanked them for their excitement and offer then let them know we wanted to spend at least a week by ourselves to establish as a family before inviting visitors. Bonus with birthing at a birth center too...so long as all goes smoothly and it's not storming or the dead of night, we will be heading home 6 to 8 hours afterwards.

Kimbarbour08 · October 2015

There's no way our close friends and family will wait! However, we do want to keep it somewhat limited at first.

I think that there will be a small flood of those people right away, although I plan to try breastfeeding right away so between that and all the stuff they have to do for measurements/cleaning up/etc. we will probably have about an hour to ourselves anyway, but any longer and my mother would have a heart attack waiting!

It will probably be my parents, maybe my sister, MIL, collective BIL's and SIL's, nieces and nephews, and a few of our close friends (I can think of probably 4 of my friends that will most likely be there waiting). That being said, that would total of almost 20 people, so they may need to take turns or something!

We will let everyone of those people know once I'm in the hospital and let my parents and my MIL probably know before that (my parents have a 3 hr drive to get to us, so we want to tell them right away)

I expect the following day, or depending on what time Malachi is born later that day, we will have plenty of other visitors spread out which is fine.

Monkeybutt80 · October 2015

With my last, I was induced. My parents were visiting to help with my dogs so they knew I was being induced, but I told them not to show up until I tell them it's ok, and they respected that. My in laws are about 4 hour drive away, so once we found out I was being induced, we scheduled them to come and visit the following weekend. I texted my close friends (4 friends) when he was born, but told them to please wait until I got home to visit. One of them ended up visiting on the second day I was at the hospital, but it was because she is a sales rep for a medical equipment and she was at the hospital already, but she texted to ask first if it was ok for her to pop in. I asked my parents to come over later that night ( I think he was born around 2pm, they came around 6 or 7pm) so that they can bring me some food.

We don't really have any other family members within a driving distance, so we didn't have to worry about anyone else showing up. We emailed the extended family members with some pictures on the 2nd day to let them know he was born. As far as I know no one's feelings were hurt.

This time, I plan to do the same (except my parents have since moved in town for 3 months at a time). my parents will be watching my toddler while my husband and I are in the hospital and I will probably have them come visit shortly after just so that my toddler can meet his baby sister. I will once again request no one else come to visit us at the hospital and we will have our inlaw over the following weekend.

thisusername · October 2015

baya5 said:
Ok so here's my dilemma. With DD I had my mom and DH in there with me. It was great my mom came and went and left immediatly after delivery to be alone. I have a lot of anxiety and she really helps calm me down.
This time DH wants just us because he doesn't want his mom to get jealous again and he like doing things himself.
I don't want to call anyone till afterwards besides my mom, so she can a) watch DD or b) be there. DH thinks this is unfair to his family but they are very overbearing, especially MIL. MIL will literally be in the waiting room the whole time and constantly call DH for updates and she really stressed me out last time with all her questions.
So how do I confince DH to do it my way without pulling the "I'm giving birth not you" card?

Tell them your mom already offered to watch your daughter and that's why she will be there. You want to have an intimate birth where your husband and yourself can feel relaxed without the pressure or presence of other family? Maybe?

katec4vt · October 2015

Twindling said:

I know I'm in the minority but short answer: We're inviting everyone to the hospital and not allowing anybody at our house. If people want to see the baby, it needs to be at the hospital. Reason being: -I don't want to play host at my house. -don't want to tell people they've stayed too long (nice to let my nurses do this for me) -I can tell hospital visitors that there's "visiting hours" -don't want to worry about my house being presentable -less germs in my house

This! I totally agree with all of this. Our plan has been to deliver, spend time with our daughter, and then call people so they may visit us in the hospital.

I'm not trying to have a ton of visitors at home and I'm not trying to have people waiting for me deliver. So there will be a limited window where anyone who is medically well enough to visit at the hospital will be allowed to. After that, people can wait until we are ready to receive visitors at home. I'm not at all stressed about turning people away from our home, I'm just anxious about my mother and in-laws realizing our daughter has been born and we didn't even tell anyone I was in labor.

katec4vt · October 2015

cheesefries88 said:

I've been thinking of doing the same thing...I'm not very fond of my in-laws (side note my husband isn't either lol) and my mom can be a little over the top. She already told me to call her when I start having contractions so she can start driving. She lives about 7 hours away. This is our first and I kinda just want it to be Me and my husband. Ive actually thought about laying low and not saying anything to anyone until we're home, but I just read @Twindling s post and she's got a good point too. Im not going to want to play host to people nonstop, either. I'm a hermit sometimes lol. My mom wants to stay with us for the first week or however long, and I kinda wanna say no, but I don't know. I might appreciate the help, as long as she helps me with laundry and not just the baby cause I'm thinking I'm gonna wanna do that.

I'm not a huge fan of my in-laws. My MIL doesn't understand boundaries and she tries to one-up my mom a lot. My mom was a single parent and we have been through a lot together - I'm just never going to have the same relationship with my MIL that I do with her. I wish my MIL wouldn't try to force that, because I liked her a lot more before she started that kind of behavior. When I was induced with my first she babied me far too much and really tried to make herself the "nice, helpful" one. My mom, on the other hand, was really frustrated with how long the induction process was taking and wanted to complain to the hospital staff (I thought they were excellent). I think it would just be a lot nicer for my husband and I to get to do this just the two of us - and he agrees.

katec4vt · October 2015

Kimbarbour08 said:

There's no way our close friends and family will wait! However, we do want to keep it somewhat limited at first.

I think that there will be a small flood of those people right away, although I plan to try breastfeeding right away so between that and all the stuff they have to do for measurements/cleaning up/etc. we will probably have about an hour to ourselves anyway, but any longer and my mother would have a heart attack waiting!

It will probably be my parents, maybe my sister, MIL, collective BIL's and SIL's, nieces and nephews, and a few of our close friends (I can think of probably 4 of my friends that will most likely be there waiting). That being said, that would total of almost 20 people, so they may need to take turns or something!

We will let everyone of those people know once I'm in the hospital and let my parents and my MIL probably know before that (my parents have a 3 hr drive to get to us, so we want to tell them right away)

I expect the following day, or depending on what time Malachi is born later that day, we will have plenty of other visitors spread out which is fine.

Your comment is a perfect example of why I DO NOT want people to know I am in labor. 20 people?! Right after I've given birth?! I am absolutely going to offend each and every one of them, because I am not even about to pretend like that is okay if they all show up right after. The next day or later that day, like you said depending on delivery time, is fine; but I would absolutely have an anxiety attack after being that exhausted if I had to deal with that many people immediately following delivery. OMG and 20 different non-medical staff handling my child? Because you know every one of them is going to pick her up. ABSOLUTELY NO.

Kimbarbour08 · October 2015

katec4vt said:

Kimbarbour08 said:

There's no way our close friends and family will wait! However, we do want to keep it somewhat limited at first.

I think that there will be a small flood of those people right away, although I plan to try breastfeeding right away so between that and all the stuff they have to do for measurements/cleaning up/etc. we will probably have about an hour to ourselves anyway, but any longer and my mother would have a heart attack waiting!

It will probably be my parents, maybe my sister, MIL, collective BIL's and SIL's, nieces and nephews, and a few of our close friends (I can think of probably 4 of my friends that will most likely be there waiting). That being said, that would total of almost 20 people, so they may need to take turns or something!

We will let everyone of those people know once I'm in the hospital and let my parents and my MIL probably know before that (my parents have a 3 hr drive to get to us, so we want to tell them right away)

I expect the following day, or depending on what time Malachi is born later that day, we will have plenty of other visitors spread out which is fine.

Your comment is a perfect example of why I DO NOT want people to know I am in labor. 20 people?! Right after I've given birth?! I am absolutely going to offend each and every one of them, because I am not even about to pretend like that is okay if they all show up right after. The next day or later that day, like you said depending on delivery time, is fine; but I would absolutely have an anxiety attack after being that exhausted if I had to deal with that many people immediately following delivery. OMG and 20 different non-medical staff handling my child? Because you know every one of them is going to pick her up. ABSOLUTELY NO.

Yep . . . joys of my husband being the youngest of four boys, all married, with a total of 5 kids between them. Even if it was just the immediate family that puts us up to 15 people including the kids, only 3 at most would be my family and the other 12 are all his. I'm glad that I am a patient and tactful person because I know I would not be able to handle that if I wasn't!

Kiek · October 2015

Kimbarbour08 said:

katec4vt said:

Kimbarbour08 said:

There's no way our close friends and family will wait! However, we do want to keep it somewhat limited at first.

I think that there will be a small flood of those people right away, although I plan to try breastfeeding right away so between that and all the stuff they have to do for measurements/cleaning up/etc. we will probably have about an hour to ourselves anyway, but any longer and my mother would have a heart attack waiting!

It will probably be my parents, maybe my sister, MIL, collective BIL's and SIL's, nieces and nephews, and a few of our close friends (I can think of probably 4 of my friends that will most likely be there waiting). That being said, that would total of almost 20 people, so they may need to take turns or something!

We will let everyone of those people know once I'm in the hospital and let my parents and my MIL probably know before that (my parents have a 3 hr drive to get to us, so we want to tell them right away)

I expect the following day, or depending on what time Malachi is born later that day, we will have plenty of other visitors spread out which is fine.

Your comment is a perfect example of why I DO NOT want people to know I am in labor. 20 people?! Right after I've given birth?! I am absolutely going to offend each and every one of them, because I am not even about to pretend like that is okay if they all show up right after. The next day or later that day, like you said depending on delivery time, is fine; but I would absolutely have an anxiety attack after being that exhausted if I had to deal with that many people immediately following delivery. OMG and 20 different non-medical staff handling my child? Because you know every one of them is going to pick her up. ABSOLUTELY NO.

Yep . . . joys of my husband being the youngest of four boys, all married, with a total of 5 kids between them. Even if it was just the immediate family that puts us up to 15 people including the kids, only 3 at most would be my family and the other 12 are all his. I'm glad that I am a patient and tactful person because I know I would not be able to handle that if I wasn't!

Yeah, go you. That sounds like my nightmare lol

DrillSergeantCat · October 2015

I'm in the "all the visitors at the hospital" camp. I don't want to have to make sure my house is clean and play host to people while trying to care for a newborn.

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Who are you inviting to the hospital and when?

Re: Who are you inviting to the hospital and when?

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