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November 2015 Moms
Lolo427
member
STMs + : Stay Classy Labor stories
Lolo427
member
We're all getting closer and things are getting to go time- let's have some fun shall we?
So my DH and I were talking and we've come to the determination that most likely I will be fairly inward and reserved while attempting a non-medicated pain management birth. It's usually how I do my pain management. That being said...I do have a tendency in my own personal life to have a mouth like a trucker. I'm curious if anyone has fun stories of things they might have said or done in the moment that looking back require a face palm.
Personally I think I'm going to cuss someone out or be angry at something stupid like the beeping of a monitor.
So my DH and I were talking and we've come to the determination that most likely I will be fairly inward and reserved while attempting a non-medicated pain management birth. It's usually how I do my pain management. That being said...I do have a tendency in my own personal life to have a mouth like a trucker. I'm curious if anyone has fun stories of things they might have said or done in the moment that looking back require a face palm.
Personally I think I'm going to cuss someone out or be angry at something stupid like the beeping of a monitor.
Re: STMs + : Stay Classy Labor stories
I was very reserved and calm my entire labor, I did it un-medicated and felt really confident with the whole thing...until the last 30 minutes when she was ready to come and I felt all that pressure and my body started doing everything itself. I lost it, I totally freaked out and all these nurses were rushing in...it was just an overwhelming feeling of "oh crap, its time"...
I started yelling at my now ex husband to call the doctor and tell him I needed a C-section right now. I couldn't do this, I had a nurse lean in with a heavy what sounded Jamaican accent she said "I'm going to tell you the secret of child birth" I was so relieved...this woman was going to help me...tell me the secret....she leans in and says "You've got to get the baby out".....I could have slapped her, I screamed at her, that doesn't fucking help. I started yelling, "OK i'll take the epidural now"....they were laughing because it was obviously way too late for that.
All in all I was pretty embarrassed after she was born LOL
My epidural didn't take and I had an emergency c-section after my body wouldn't progress, I felt the whole thing.
I was already pretty out of it from being in labor for so long, apparently when they started cutting I was screaming "YOU'RE NOT HOUSE!" at the top of my lungs and had turned to my DH and screamed, "THEY'RE NOT F***ING HOUSE!"
You win! I definitely cracked up.
Edit: gif fail
Baby Boy born on 1/14/13
But my funny moment is I was sitting in a rocking chair in early labor and went to put my leg up on the bed and pop! My water broke and started flooding out everywhere. Just then a guy from the kitchen came in with my food and then a doctor with an entire team of interns. I'm soaked and there's a huge puddle on the floor.
I take one look at the food next to me and instantly start throwing up to everyone's horror! That cleared the room real fast.
I spent pretty much the rest of the day in the bath tub throwing up every few contractions. I remember my doula had all these battery operated candles in the room and the lights off to keep it peaceful. And here I am naked in the bathtub puking in a bucket. It got to the point where my husband and doula would leave the room because I was making them heave! I remember laughing to myself once a contraction would end because it had to look ridiculous.
When I went to get out of the tub finally I ripped my own IV out by mistake and bled everywhere in the bathroom and all the way to the bed. I was a mess!
Holy Shit, what a horror show.
I love it!
I hope this time is much smoother for you though, and frankly the bar has been set so maybe this time you can keep under it. Are you going to ward off the cafeteria workers?
Apparently I was also asking my husband in a "hushed whisper" (aka bloody loud) to put a canister of the gas, in our hospital bag for some weekend fun.
My first 2 delivery's were induced, I took nubain and do not remember much of the labor part....but my third I went on my own. With him, when I was checked in, the buttons on the bed rail to adjust the bed were not working and no one could tell me why....I will though! Once the contractions were really bad, I started chanting "I don't want to do this any fucking more!", repeatedly through every contraction, while either punching the bed or punching the bed rail, as gently as I could muster mind u! That, my fellow ladies in waiting is why the buttons didn't work! Also, my hubby was trying to comfort me by rubbing my hand during a contraction, and i t was very distracting to me, so I told him " Don't fucking touch me or I will cut your balls off....I did apologize after the contraction was over but told him it was too much and broke my concentration, so to please keep his hands to himself!
I was put completely under and when I woke in the recovery room I started screaming that they needed to hurry and get him out. I also was obsessively pressing my pain medication pump button and cussing about how "this f-ing morphine sucks".
Unfortunately this was all documented on video. The worse part is that my son was in the room being loved on by my family and in the 20 minutes of my documented time as a foul mouthed crazy woman, I never once asked about my son.
My reaction? I laughed (partially because I remembered VexedMommy's story). Then apologized. Midwife asked if I had pushed and all I could say was "I have no idea!" They all thought it was funny enough to not be too upset about being sprayed. And now I'll never be forgotten!