I feel like people that "like all of the celebration" or want to "celebrate this baby just like the first one" actually mean they like all of the gifts. Because while all showers are celebrations, not all celebrations are showers. You can celebrate your future baby without having a shower. Multiple showers are just plain gift grabby IMHO.
I am sorry if that sounds bitchy, but it's just the first thing that comes to my mind when I see posts like these. It's also 3pm on a Friday and the weekend doesn't seem like it will ever get here so I might be extra snarky at the moment. Apologies.
Agreed!! When someone says they want to celebrate each baby I think that's friggin' awesome!!!! Having a registry and implied expectation for gifts? Not so much....
I feel like people that "like all of the celebration" or want to "celebrate this baby just like the first one" actually mean they like all of the gifts. Because while all showers are celebrations, not all celebrations are showers. You can celebrate your future baby without having a shower. Multiple showers are just plain gift grabby IMHO.
I am sorry if that sounds bitchy, but it's just the first thing that comes to my mind when I see posts like these. It's also 3pm on a Friday and the weekend doesn't seem like it will ever get here so I might be extra snarky at the moment. Apologies.
But I think the women saying this are pointing out that they have attended 2nd or 3rd baby showers and that they enjoy it. It can't be considered gift grabby if you're not the one getting the gifts!
I don't want another shower because I don't want/ need anymore stuff! My basement is already overflowing with baby stuff after just 1 kid, I can't imagine adding anymore useless stuff that'll be used for only a few months. I've already had a few friends tell me if I'm having a boy (I already have tons of girl stuff), they'll hook me up with tons of boy clothes they want to get rid of. The only things I really need/ want is a double jogging stroller and a Tula for my DD (baby will inherit the ergo). We're already saving up to buy these items ourselves. I *might* do a sip and see but I will stress no gifts! No more crap! Lol
I feel like people that "like all of the celebration" or want to "celebrate this baby just like the first one" actually mean they like all of the gifts. Because while all showers are celebrations, not all celebrations are showers. You can celebrate your future baby without having a shower. Multiple showers are just plain gift grabby IMHO.
I am sorry if that sounds bitchy, but it's just the first thing that comes to my mind when I see posts like these. It's also 3pm on a Friday and the weekend doesn't seem like it will ever get here so I might be extra snarky at the moment. Apologies.
But I think the women saying this are pointing out that they have attended 2nd or 3rd baby showers and that they enjoy it. It can't be considered gift grabby if you're not the one getting the gifts!
Call me a cynic, but part of me think people embrace the 2nd+ baby shower so they too can have a 2nd+ baby shower. I love a good party as much as the next person, I just don't see why it needs to be called a shower where obviously gifts are implied. If I were ever to be remarried I'd be mortified if someone (theoretical fiancé's family aside) wanted to throw me another shower. I just don't see a difference.
I feel like people that "like all of the celebration" or want to "celebrate this baby just like the first one" actually mean they like all of the gifts. Because while all showers are celebrations, not all celebrations are showers. You can celebrate your future baby without having a shower. Multiple showers are just plain gift grabby IMHO.
I am sorry if that sounds bitchy, but it's just the first thing that comes to my mind when I see posts like these. It's also 3pm on a Friday and the weekend doesn't seem like it will ever get here so I might be extra snarky at the moment. Apologies.
But I think the women saying this are pointing out that they have attended 2nd or 3rd baby showers and that they enjoy it. It can't be considered gift grabby if you're not the one getting the gifts!
Call me a cynic, but part of me think people embrace the 2nd+ baby shower so they too can have a 2nd+ baby shower. I love a good party as much as the next person, I just don't see why it needs to be called a shower where obviously gifts are implied. If I were ever to be remarried I'd be mortified if someone (theoretical fiancé's family aside) wanted to throw me another shower. I just don't see a difference.
Yeah... I think you are a cynic. Lol... The logic here is backwards, because one typically finds themselves attending far more 2nd 3rd + time showers than receiving them... So it doesn't exactly turn anyone a profit.
And even if people do like receiving a party... So? I personally tend to not enjoy having things thrown for me (baby shower, birthday party, etc) because it feels like a lot of awkward social pressure... Not my kind of thing... but I realize I'm not typical in that way. Some people love that, and I totally get why. I see no need to poop on their parade for it. It feels nice to help them feel special.
I said I like all the celebration because I like attending (baby showers, sprinkles, blessingways, gender reveals, etc) some of which are gift-giving events and some are not....
I don't actually think I want one for myself this time. I'm rather undecided and kind of dreading the topic which I know my best friend will bring up. But I will keep attending them for sure!
Sounds like you're just kinda judging what you don't know. And hey look! The weekend did come! So there that!
If someone is throwing me a second shower with alcohol I want it after this baby is out. You are not drinking champagne I front of me while I can't partake.
I did attend a baby shower once (for her 3rd child gasp! Oh my!) where there were several alcoholic drinks served. And the mommy... The *still pregnant* mommy.... Was drinking champagne. It was... Surprising! Lol
Call me a cynic, but part of me think people embrace the 2nd+ baby shower so they too can have a 2nd+ baby shower. I love a good party as much as the next person, I just don't see why it needs to be called a shower where obviously gifts are implied. If I were ever to be remarried I'd be mortified if someone (theoretical fiancé's family aside) wanted to throw me another shower. I just don't see a difference.
Yeah... I think you are a cynic. Lol... The logic here is backwards, because one typically finds themselves attending far more 2nd 3rd + time showers than receiving them... So it doesn't exactly turn anyone a profit.
And even if people do like receiving a party... So? I personally tend to not enjoy having things thrown for me (baby shower, birthday party, etc) because it feels like a lot of awkward social pressure... Not my kind of thing... but I realize I'm not typical in that way. Some people love that, and I totally get why. I see no need to poop on their parade for it. It feels nice to help them feel special.
I said I like all the celebration because I like attending (baby showers, sprinkles, blessingways, gender reveals, etc) some of which are gift-giving events and some are not....
I don't actually think I want one for myself this time. I'm rather undecided and kind of dreading the topic which I know my best friend will bring up.
But I will keep attending them for sure!
Sounds like you're just kinda judging what you don't know. And hey look! The weekend did come! So there that!
Assuming you have at least 10 people at your sprinkle or second+ shower I am going to go ahead and assume you (general you, not you in particular) are turning a "profit." Unless you attend more than 10 (or whatever number of people show up, I would assume it's be more than 10 though) sprinkles/showers in between each of your subsequent sprinkles/showers, it would in fact turn a "profit" or rather, you'd get more than you would give.
This is clearly something we disagree on and that's ok. You find my logic backwards and I find yours self-serving.
ETA: As 2nd+ showers are something that goes against general social etiquette, yes I am judging those that have them , but please don't imply I am judging something I don't know. You certainly don't have to have children to understand what is polite and what is not. My SIL had a super tacky full-on second shower for her second child that is 2 years younger than her first. Thought it was tacky then, still think it's tacky now and I certainly will still think it's tacky if I am blessed with a 2nd+ child in the future.
I understand your strong opinion on 2nd time showers or sprinkles, but dude, calm down. You are looking way too into it. Saying that attending other people's showers and giving good gifts to be sure they in turn attend yours and give an equally valued gift...um, no, not everyone has this very motive. So you think that if anyone has a second shower, they are definitely selfish and gift grabby? That they don't want to gather all of their friends and family around to have a great time celebrating a baby they worked hard on making?
God, am I glad I'm having another child, because I really just like to throw parties so I get gifts. Maybe I should have like, 5 more children.
I feel like people that "like all of the celebration" or want to "celebrate this baby just like the first one" actually mean they like all of the gifts. Because while all showers are celebrations, not all celebrations are showers. You can celebrate your future baby without having a shower. Multiple showers are just plain gift grabby IMHO.
I am sorry if that sounds bitchy, but it's just the first thing that comes to my mind when I see posts like these. It's also 3pm on a Friday and the weekend doesn't seem like it will ever get here so I might be extra snarky at the moment. Apologies.
But I think the women saying this are pointing out that they have attended 2nd or 3rd baby showers and that they enjoy it. It can't be considered gift grabby if you're not the one getting the gifts!
Call me a cynic, but part of me think people embrace the 2nd+ baby shower so they too can have a 2nd+ baby shower. I love a good party as much as the next person, I just don't see why it needs to be called a shower where obviously gifts are implied. If I were ever to be remarried I'd be mortified if someone (theoretical fiancé's family aside) wanted to throw me another shower. I just don't see a difference.
Yeah... I think you are a cynic. Lol... The logic here is backwards, because one typically finds themselves attending far more 2nd 3rd + time showers than receiving them... So it doesn't exactly turn anyone a profit.
And even if people do like receiving a party... So? I personally tend to not enjoy having things thrown for me (baby shower, birthday party, etc) because it feels like a lot of awkward social pressure... Not my kind of thing... but I realize I'm not typical in that way. Some people love that, and I totally get why. I see no need to poop on their parade for it. It feels nice to help them feel special.
I said I like all the celebration because I like attending (baby showers, sprinkles, blessingways, gender reveals, etc) some of which are gift-giving events and some are not....
I don't actually think I want one for myself this time. I'm rather undecided and kind of dreading the topic which I know my best friend will bring up. But I will keep attending them for sure!
Sounds like you're just kinda judging what you don't know. And hey look! The weekend did come! So there that!
You said "one TYPICALLY finds themselves attending far more 2nd, 3rd, showers..." Ummm, this is completely incorrect depending on your social circle. I've been invited to (didn't attend along with most of the invitees because it's so incredibly tacky) subsequent showers by the same woman (who was actually my sister in-law) who had 3 children within 5 years of each other and a shower for each one. People in my circle don't have or get invited to subsequent showers because like I stated before, they're tacky. And stating that someone is judging what they don't know, well, with the fact that this is the internet and all, that's pretty presumptive. Which would mean you're actually judging what you don't know. So there's that...
March '16 December Siggy Challenge - Favorite Christmas Movies/Quotes
You are stating subsequent showers are incredibly tacky as the ACTUAL TRUTH, when it's just really YOUR OPINION. We all have different views on the matter, no one is right, no one is wrong. Get over being so offended.
@Laurenc523 I stated that in my circle subsequent showers are tacky. Therefore, that would be the actual truth IN MY CIRCLE. It is also an opinion but it's one that the people IN MY CIRCLE share so for us, again, it would be the ACTUAL TRUTH. Also, caps are very annoying (read as an opinion). I didn't say anyone was right or wrong. That's what you and @Bizzle29 have done. I'm not offended. This is the internet, my skin is much thicker than being offended over a baby shower discussion of all things. Lol have a great day.
March '16 December Siggy Challenge - Favorite Christmas Movies/Quotes
I understand your strong opinion on 2nd time showers or sprinkles, but dude, calm down. You are looking way too into it. Saying that attending other people's showers and giving good gifts to be sure they in turn attend yours and give an equally valued gift...um, no, not everyone has this very motive. So you think that if anyone has a second shower, they are definitely selfish and gift grabby? That they don't want to gather all of their friends and family around to have a great time celebrating a baby they worked hard on making?
God, am I glad I'm having another child, because I really just like to throw parties so I get gifts. Maybe I should have like, 5 more children.
I always find it ironic that the same people that tell others to "calm down" are also people with strong opinions that also may be perceived as needing to "calm down" as well.
Yes, my opinion is that all second + showers (extenuating circumstances aside) are gift grabby and selfish. I understand that other people have differing opinions. I respect their right to have differing opinions, but that doesn't change mine. That's my opinion and I am certainly entitled to it. * As you are entitled to yours as well. Just because I don't agree with you doesn't mean either of our opinions are wrong or right. Dissention is normal.
Also, please refer to my previous post stating that there are ways to celebrate your baby without having a shower. You DON'T have to have a SHOWER to CELEBRATE a BABY.
I thought the same thing, that second baby showers were a no no. At least for my family and friends.
But in my SO's family they're completely different. My in laws are full blown traditional plain cree's (I myself am metis, and I wasn't raised in a very traditional setting like my SO was). Well they have made it quite clear that we do not buy anything for the baby until it arrives. For obvious reasons.... I guess. (Like heaven forbid something happen before I deliver. They consider it bad luck. And I suppose I can understand it to a certain degree). Nor do they have baby showers till AFTER the baby is born or even finding out the sex is taboo in their eyes.
But to me, I cannot fathom Bringing my baby home to nothing, and my SO agrees. I honestly don't want to be rushing around after giving birth to my baby. Especially living in Canada where our winters usually go till may and my closest city being an hour away to even get baby things. So I've already started buying thing's here and there anyways. And it's been 6 &1/2 years since my last, so I literally have zip.
They also have baby showers for every child. My inlaws have informed me we will get one too, which to me is just weird as we don't do that on my side. But it's much appreciated. One thing to that caught me off guard is they wait a couple months too, at least that's how it was for my BIL. And even then it seemed like what was described as a sprinkle or a meet and greet; where it was a few outfits and diapers. But they did have an awesome potluck, and lots of elders come in to meet the child and give blessings. I was literally the only one there who bought something that was actually relevant, sensible, and not clothing related. Traditionally wise they also have many other different rules on what you can and cannot do during pregnancy... like cutting your hair ...... or watching scary movies. But that's a whole other topic.
Anyways, in my family they do things like many you guys have suggested. Big showers for first and then after that it's just a meet and greet and MAYBE an outfit. To me if someone wants to throw one for you then sure, but don't expect one, nor expect extravagant gifts or anything either. I guess it all depends where you live too. I've noticed different places and or cultures have different rules.
I did attend a baby shower once (for her 3rd child gasp! Oh my!) where there were several alcoholic drinks served. And the mommy... The *still pregnant* mommy.... Was drinking champagne. It was... Surprising! Lol
I had some champagne at my baby shower (mmm mimosa!)
March 2016 siggy: babies - expectation vs reality Brian's Whovian wife (5/'09)
AP, BF, BW, CD, CLW, CS, ERF, Catholic mama
to Evan (7/'10), Clare (8/'11), Dean (3/'14), ^F(12/'15)^, Rose (3/'16)
*no longer a Timelord ~ WibblyWobbly BabyWaby is here!*
but i still feel bigger on the inside Autism mama!
I am from the south and my friends will do a "sprinkle" over a girls night dinner. They asked and very low key with friends. I would register though.... Even if it's for 2 things. Discounts rock . You don't even have to tell anyone you are registering. If someone asks about a shower, I'll do one because it's a boy and our daughter will be 4, but other than that, I wouldn't expect anything . Hope that helps. Things are different in the South and our mothers will take over anyways lol
I'd just like someone to throw me my first shower.... but it is a bit hard when you live 8 hours in a plane away from all your family and friends
Has no one mentioned doing anything while you're home over the holidays? Come to Chi! I can't really swing buying you stuff, but I'll get a cake and we can shop on Amazon and Craigslist all day lol.
I'd just like someone to throw me my first shower.... but it is a bit hard when you live 8 hours in a plane away from all your family and friends
Has no one mentioned doing anything while you're home over the holidays? Come to Chi! I can't really swing buying you stuff, but I'll get a cake and we can shop on Amazon and Craigslist all day lol.
Hasn't happened yet but I am not going home until dec 26th... but with Christmas and all I don't know
LFAF- Best Olympic Moments... Jackie Joyner-Kersee
I understand your strong opinion on 2nd time showers or sprinkles, but dude, calm down. You are looking way too into it. Saying that attending other people's showers and giving good gifts to be sure they in turn attend yours and give an equally valued gift...um, no, not everyone has this very motive. So you think that if anyone has a second shower, they are definitely selfish and gift grabby? That they don't want to gather all of their friends and family around to have a great time celebrating a baby they worked hard on making?
God, am I glad I'm having another child, because I really just like to throw parties so I get gifts. Maybe I should have like, 5 more children.
The motive might not be, "I bought you a gift that cost $50, now you have to attend and buy me a gift that costs $50" but honestly, that's what usually happens. DH has a huge family and their are showers all the damn time. There is definitely a shared mentality of "we attended the showers for each of her daughters, I can't believe they didn't RSVP to mine" or "aunt/cousin so-and-so always buys everyone their car seat but she only bought this cousin a book?" This is extreme, their opinions don't go that far/rude, but there is certainly an expectation of what people generally get and also who generally attends. So it's naive to say that no one ever considers things like that, most people do. And granted, they aren't intending to be gift grabby but the reality is that people do have expectations and as bad as that sounds, it's the truth.
Also, what exactly is there to calm down about? Everyone is giving their opinions, no one is attacking anyone, and your feelings about being pro 2+ showers is just as strong as anyone that disagrees. They are opinions, that's all. I have never been to a second or more shower because I chose not to attend the ones I was invited to, which were only 2 and they were extended relatives that I wasn't even close with. The only time I have is if it is one of the parents first kids but not the other's first. Beyond that, second or more showers are very uncommon in my area and in my closer family/friends it is considered super tacky. No one needs to calm down or apologize for their opinions, that is just how it is in my circle of people as it is for many others.
The motive might not be, "I bought you a gift that cost $50, now you have to attend and buy me a gift that costs $50" but honestly, that's what usually happens. DH has a huge family and their are showers all the damn time. There is definitely a shared mentality of "we attended the showers for each of her daughters, I can't believe they didn't RSVP to mine" or "aunt/cousin so-and-so always buys everyone their car seat but she only bought this cousin a book?" This is extreme, their opinions don't go that far/rude, but there is certainly an expectation of what people generally get and also who generally attends. So it's naive to say that no one ever considers things like that, most people do. And granted, they aren't intending to be gift grabby but the reality is that people do have expectations and as bad as that sounds, it's the truth.
yep this is *exACTly* how it is around here, both community-wise and family-wise, so i can empathize with that frustration.
seriously, we got an invitation to a co-ed shower last month for some relatively close friends, that was not only being hosted by the expecting mother's mom, it was for a second baby (same sex and only a few years age difference from the first), and on the invitation it said it was a "GIFT-CARD SHOWER" and they would prefer gift cards from Target and BuyBuyBaby. like seriously, WTF. breaking every single "rule" of etiquette in one fell swoop. also, it was 4 hours away from us. needless to say, we did NOT haul our 3 kids and my pregnant ass down there (nor did we send a gift-card in our stead). and we actually caught some flak from them about it, when they never even attended our shower bc they were trying to get pregnant at the same time we were, and were upset that we had been successful first (not judging those feelings at all, i get it, but i was hurt, i will admit).
anyhow. tackyTackyTACKY.
March 2016 siggy: babies - expectation vs reality Brian's Whovian wife (5/'09)
AP, BF, BW, CD, CLW, CS, ERF, Catholic mama
to Evan (7/'10), Clare (8/'11), Dean (3/'14), ^F(12/'15)^, Rose (3/'16)
*no longer a Timelord ~ WibblyWobbly BabyWaby is here!*
but i still feel bigger on the inside Autism mama!
I'd just like someone to throw me my first shower.... but it is a bit hard when you live 8 hours in a plane away from all your family and friends
Has no one mentioned doing anything while you're home over the holidays? Come to Chi! I can't really swing buying you stuff, but I'll get a cake and we can shop on Amazon and Craigslist all day lol.
Hasn't happened yet but I am not going home until dec 26th... but with Christmas and all I don't know
Maybe they plan to surprise you? Mine was a surprise (kinda, I've a bit of Sherlock in me, so I'd worked it all out in advance).
In England I hardly ever heard of a shower, people would just bring gifts after the baby was born, but they are getting more popular. I lived in both Brazil and Mexico where showers were huge events ( more so in Mexico ) complete with elaborate shower gifts for guests with the baby name etc. The baby shower is just as big an elaborate for every new baby with the baby's chosen name heavily featured in the shower theme no matter if it's a first or third child ! Right now I live in utah, showers of any type seem to be a big deal with lots of lavish gifts, decor and food. I recently mentioned to someone from Texas living here about 2nd showers, she straight away refered to the "sprinkle" by name although I have never ever ever heard of that here in UT. I think 1 shower for baby number one is polite.. A small gathering of family for baby number 2 etc without all the bells and whistles.. It really seems to be a cultural and geographical thing... Happy sprinkling, showering or drizzling !
We are from the south too so most events are large anyways! As soon as everyone found out it was a boy (our first was a girl) they decided ours went from a family gathering to a large sprinkle of family and friends lol With our first it was a very delicate girl fun shower where this one is going to be more of a fun sprinkle thing for dad because it's a boy...so he will be able to invite his buddies along with their wives!
My Nanna decided this because we have 0 boy stuff and this is only boy #3 vs 15 girls!! Those are just her grandkids and great grandkid totals lol All of our BIG stuff is white so it works for both so really all we need are clothes, shoes or boy accessories lol I am expecting a lot because both of our families are VERY generous but I will not be making a registration or ask for anything!!
Honestly I wouldn't ever turn the sprinkle/shower down because if someone is offering to do it and you aren't just throwing yourself one then you shouldn't feel guilty just thankful!!
My mother and sister are having a shower for me. They are really excited and were pretty insistant. I always thought was supposed to be one and felt a little weird about it. I'm not against multiple showers. I had one for my first daughter. She's 17 now. I didn't for my other 2. This time I have nothing left. My youngest is 9 and we thought were done having children. It's not going to be anything fancy close relatives and close friends at my mothers house. I've been invited to multiple showers for people and I've attended. I enjoy going to them and other gatherings of family and friends.
My in laws and my family are very different. They dont do a whole lot together so my "moms" have decided to throw me separate showers. Ok great more presents yayyy. My MIL is throwing a very pink (
girls only "faith based" shower. I honestly had no clue that was a thing. I'm happy that she cares enough to do anything but I'm not sure what to expect as its as far from a baby shower I would plan myself as possible. My mom is throwing a kick a$$ coed Beatles themed shower with a tie dye station and photo booth. That one I'm excited for lol
girls only "faith based" shower. I honestly had no clue that was a thing. I'm happy that she cares enough to do anything but I'm not sure what to expect as its as far from a baby shower I would plan myself as possible. My mom is throwing a kick a$$ coed Beatles themed shower with a tie dye station and photo booth. That one I'm excited for lol
So you're receiving not one but two showers and you're complaining about one? Yea, that's completely reasonable. There are actually some ftm's that aren't getting a shower because no one has offered to throw one. For them I'll say, I doubt they (and most anyone) would complain about the "theme" of the shower. Congrats on your "kick a$$" shower that you approve of.
March '16 December Siggy Challenge - Favorite Christmas Movies/Quotes
Did I not say that I'm happy she cares enough to throw one at all? Yeah I did. I said I don't know what to expect because I've never heard of a faith based shower. If ypu know what that is impart your wisdom. I didn't mean to sound ungrateful. I'm excited that my MIL is trying at all
Did I not say that I'm happy she cares enough to throw one at all? Yeah I did. I said I don't know what to expect because I've never heard of a faith based shower. If ypu know what that is impart your wisdom. I didn't mean to sound ungrateful. I'm excited that my MIL is trying at all
Well, a faith based shower would probably be exactly what it sounds like. I'm sure it's quite far from the shower that you're excited about but being thankful for any shower is definitely the way to go. That's all I was saying.
March '16 December Siggy Challenge - Favorite Christmas Movies/Quotes
This is my 3rd babe and we had a HUGE shower for my first and then after she came 6 months later I was pregnant again. The second babe was a baby girl too and my mom drilled me on how even having a get together is a big no no. Now I'm pregnant with number 3 which is a boy (I was done having kids) and I am living in a whole different area. My friends sister in law and aunt insist that I have a get together for this baby. So we're having a small but super fun get together to celebrate him but I have already purchased almost everything for the little guy so it's a bring something if you want but it's not asked of you type situation.
This is my 1st babe and i am being lucky enough to be thrown two showers. My Sister is throwing me one for all my family and friends, and my closest work buddy is throwing me a shower at work (there are alot of woment at my work and they all want to celebrate my LO!) my question is, should i not crossover any of the guest list? I ask because a few of the girls at work have become good friends, and i would hate for them to think that i dont consider them close enough to be invited to my personal shower, but i would hate for anyone to think i was being "gift grabby" by inviting some people to both showers. Any advice/opinions welcome! Sorry to side-rail this thread a bit with my question, but i really didnt think this warrented its own thread, and we are already on the subject of showers!
@clairemwalker I'd say if they're close then they're already going to know you're not being "gift grabby" and if you want to make sure you can always just tell them that it's not like they have to buy twice but you wanted to include them in your personal shower as well. Personally, if a close friend of mine invited me to her personal shower after a work shower I'd be happy to attend.
March '16 December Siggy Challenge - Favorite Christmas Movies/Quotes
I am having two baby showers (one at work and one with family and friends). This is my second baby but my first was a boy and now we are having a girl. Plus they are going to be almost 5 years apart so I think it is ok to have a baby shower.
Re: STM: Baby Shower or Sprinkle or Nothin'?!
Me: 29 DH: 31
Married 10/13/12
TTC Since 8/2016
Yeah... I think you are a cynic. Lol... The logic here is backwards, because one typically finds themselves attending far more 2nd 3rd + time showers than receiving them... So it doesn't exactly turn anyone a profit.
And even if people do like receiving a party... So? I personally tend to not enjoy having things thrown for me (baby shower, birthday party, etc) because it feels like a lot of awkward social pressure... Not my kind of thing... but I realize I'm not typical in that way. Some people love that, and I totally get why. I see no need to poop on their parade for it. It feels nice to help them feel special.
I said I like all the celebration because I like attending (baby showers, sprinkles, blessingways, gender reveals, etc) some of which are gift-giving events and some are not....
I don't actually think I want one for myself this time. I'm rather undecided and kind of dreading the topic which I know my best friend will bring up.
But I will keep attending them for sure!
Sounds like you're just kinda judging what you don't know. And hey look! The weekend did come! So there that!
I did attend a baby shower once (for her 3rd child gasp! Oh my!) where there were several alcoholic drinks served. And the mommy... The *still pregnant* mommy.... Was drinking champagne.
It was... Surprising! Lol
Assuming you have at least 10 people at your sprinkle or second+ shower I am going to go ahead and assume you (general you, not you in particular) are turning a "profit." Unless you attend more than 10 (or whatever number of people show up, I would assume it's be more than 10 though) sprinkles/showers in between each of your subsequent sprinkles/showers, it would in fact turn a "profit" or rather, you'd get more than you would give.
This is clearly something we disagree on and that's ok. You find my logic backwards and I find yours self-serving.
ETA: As 2nd+ showers are something that goes against general social etiquette, yes I am judging those that have them , but please don't imply I am judging something I don't know. You certainly don't have to have children to understand what is polite and what is not. My SIL had a super tacky full-on second shower for her second child that is 2 years younger than her first. Thought it was tacky then, still think it's tacky now and I certainly will still think it's tacky if I am blessed with a 2nd+ child in the future.
Me: 29 DH: 31
Married 10/13/12
TTC Since 8/2016
I always find it ironic that the same people that tell others to "calm down" are also people with strong opinions that also may be perceived as needing to "calm down" as well.
Yes, my opinion is that all second + showers (extenuating circumstances aside) are gift grabby and selfish. I understand that other people have differing opinions. I respect their right to have differing opinions, but that doesn't change mine. That's my opinion and I am certainly entitled to it. * As you are entitled to yours as well. Just because I don't agree with you doesn't mean either of our opinions are wrong or right. Dissention is normal.
Also, please refer to my previous post stating that there are ways to celebrate your baby without having a shower. You DON'T have to have a SHOWER to CELEBRATE a BABY.
ETA: *
Me: 29 DH: 31
Married 10/13/12
TTC Since 8/2016
But in my SO's family they're completely different. My in laws are full blown traditional plain cree's (I myself am metis, and I wasn't raised in a very traditional setting like my SO was). Well they have made it quite clear that we do not buy anything for the baby until it arrives. For obvious reasons.... I guess. (Like heaven forbid something happen before I deliver. They consider it bad luck. And I suppose I can understand it to a certain degree). Nor do they have baby showers till AFTER the baby is born or even finding out the sex is taboo in their eyes.
But to me, I cannot fathom Bringing my baby home to nothing, and my SO agrees. I honestly don't want to be rushing around after giving birth to my baby. Especially living in Canada where our winters usually go till may and my closest city being an hour away to even get baby things. So I've already started buying thing's here and there anyways. And it's been 6 &1/2 years since my last, so I literally have zip.
They also have baby showers for every child. My inlaws have informed me we will get one too, which to me is just weird as we don't do that on my side. But it's much appreciated.
One thing to that caught me off guard is they wait a couple months too, at least that's how it was for my BIL. And even then it seemed like what was described as a sprinkle or a meet and greet; where it was a few outfits and diapers. But they did have an awesome potluck, and lots of elders come in to meet the child and give blessings. I was literally the only one there who bought something that was actually relevant, sensible, and not clothing related. Traditionally wise they also have many other different rules on what you can and cannot do during pregnancy... like cutting your hair ...... or watching scary movies. But that's a whole other topic.
Anyways, in my family they do things like many you guys have suggested. Big showers for first and then after that it's just a meet and greet and MAYBE an outfit. To me if someone wants to throw one for you then sure, but don't expect one, nor expect extravagant gifts or anything either. I guess it all depends where you live too. I've noticed different places and or cultures have different rules.
March 2016 siggy: babies - expectation vs reality
Brian's Whovian wife (5/'09)
Autism mama!
Has no one mentioned doing anything while you're home over the holidays? Come to Chi! I can't really swing buying you stuff, but I'll get a cake and we can shop on Amazon and Craigslist all day lol.
Me: 29 DH: 31
Married 10/13/12
TTC Since 8/2016
Has no one mentioned doing anything while you're home over the holidays? Come to Chi! I can't really swing buying you stuff, but I'll get a cake and we can shop on Amazon and Craigslist all day lol.
Hasn't happened yet but I am not going home until dec 26th... but with Christmas and all I don't knowMarch 2016 siggy: babies - expectation vs reality
Brian's Whovian wife (5/'09)
Autism mama!
We are from the south too so most events are large anyways! As soon as everyone found out it was a boy (our first was a girl) they decided ours went from a family gathering to a large sprinkle of family and friends lol With our first it was a very delicate girl fun shower where this one is going to be more of a fun sprinkle thing for dad because it's a boy...so he will be able to invite his buddies along with their wives!
My Nanna decided this because we have 0 boy stuff and this is only boy #3 vs 15 girls!! Those are just her grandkids and great grandkid totals lol All of our BIG stuff is white so it works for both so really all we need are clothes, shoes or boy accessories lol I am expecting a lot because both of our families are VERY generous but I will not be making a registration or ask for anything!!
Honestly I wouldn't ever turn the sprinkle/shower down because if someone is offering to do it and you aren't just throwing yourself one then you shouldn't feel guilty just thankful!!
I've been invited to multiple showers for people and I've attended. I enjoy going to them and other gatherings of family and friends.
Sister is throwing me one for all my family and friends, and my closest work buddy is throwing me a shower at work (there are alot of woment at my work and they all want to celebrate my LO!) my question is, should i not crossover any of the guest list? I ask because a few of the girls at work have become good friends, and i would hate for them to think that i dont consider them close enough to be invited to my personal shower, but i would hate for anyone to think i was being "gift grabby" by inviting some people to both showers. Any advice/opinions welcome! Sorry to side-rail this thread a bit with my question, but i really didnt think this warrented its own thread, and we are already on the subject of showers!