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Parenting Advice 101

kinnonamkinnonam member
in February 2016 Moms
FTM here 24 weeks and I have gotten so much "advise" from so many people. So I wanted to hear some of the advise you ladies have been told. Figure we can all have some laughs! The good the bad the ugly!
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Re: Parenting Advice 101

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  • AchaeAchae member
    "Let the baby cry it out! Pay now or pay later." I'll do what I feel comfortable with, thanks!
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  • minivanmafiaminivanmafia member
    Achae said:

    "Let the baby cry it out! Pay now or pay later." I'll do what I feel comfortable with, thanks!

    Oh I don't like this one. I would have a mean snappy come back.

    I'm thankful I don't get those anymore being on number 3!

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  • dtaded13dtaded13 member
    This is my second child, my first is turning 5 on my due date so I haven't gotten a whole lot of advice. But, my crazy cousin and aunt found it appropriate to tell me repeatedly to not breastfeed this one. I didn't breastfeed dd but have every intention on breastfeeding this time. They don't know this but went on and on telling me "if you want him to like anyone but you, don't breastfeed!" "Because of your job, you'll be too busy, don't breastfeed!" Mind you, I'm a nanny, baby will be coming with me and dd everyday.... Oh and my cousin giving me this advice has breastfed both her children, one is currently still breastfeeding. I just let them lecture then said "I'll make you guys a promise. I promise to feed my child however I please!"
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  • kinnonamkinnonam member
    Monkeybutt80 said:

    STM, but with my first, I got the "you will never sleep again" all the time. The fact is that, you definitely get less sleep than you probably ever have. But, I wish someone also told me that your body will somehow adjust to functioning with less sleep and when the baby starts sleeping through the night (I am talking until 5 or 6 am), you then feel like a well rested new person. 


    What currently annoys me is all the comments about how I am going to have MORE fun with this baby because this one is a girl. And how much I will enjoy dressing her up and doing girly activities. 
     I love playing with my toddler (boy) with his trains, construction vehicles and such; I get that I look girly, but this doesn't necessarily mean that I will enjoy playing with my baby girl more than I enjoy playing with my boy toddler. It's really not about the activity, but rather the fact that they are my precious children and I will enjoy playing with both equally. 


    I just going into this long discussion with SO sister. She believes that every woman wants to have a daughter. I've never wanted kids but my one exception would be if it was a boy. Not like it's my decision lol but the thought of a girl scares the hell out of me. I grew up with 4 brothers and 3 uncles I have no idea what girly is! Thank goodness I'm having a boy!

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  • satuttle1014satuttle1014 member
    g0lightly8706 said:
    I'm getting really sick of the "oh you'll never sleep again" comments. I get it. I know. Stop already.

    I hear this all the time. Or if a baby is crying, I hear "better get used to this" We were recently at a family wedding and my sister had her 2 DD with her. Majority of the time my BIL and sister were trading off who watched each girl and I was told "that will be you next year" My DH and I are thinking yes we will take turns taking care of our DD on the way. 

    Everyone makes it seem like you will have no life, of course you will be tired and the way you do things will change but it does not mean your life is over. 
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  • dragonfly321dragonfly321 member
    @Monkeybutt80 I cried writing it. The look he gets when he talks about his boy... Gaaaah makes my heart melt. And yum. Sushi!
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  • KiekKiek member
    We're on baby number two so we don't get too much advice this go around. But I guess I was weird because I loved all the advice I could possibly get when I was pregnant with my first. I was quite certain I'd totally suck at motherhood and all advice and tips were welcome lol.

    This time I'm loving hearing my husband give his 2 cents to new parents and parents to be. He always says, "it is the greatest thing you'll ever do. Having kids is just awesome. I thought I wanted a boy but when my daughter was born I knew I wouldn't have had it any other way. She's amazing. Also, it's okay for them to get their hands dirty. It is good for their immune systems."

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  • KiekKiek member
    g0lightly8706 said:

    I'm getting really sick of the "oh you'll never sleep again" comments. I get it. I know. Stop already.

    Everyone told me that too. While it is super true lol, they forgot to mention that those one to two consecutive hours of sleep are way more restful than a full night of third trimester "sleep." Lol. I may not have gotten much sleep after DD was born but if it wasn't the best sleep I've ever had in my life lol.
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  • cMichelle0423cMichelle0423 member
    This is going to be out third and while no one has given us any advice yet they keep making comments on how "we better be giving them a girl this time" (our other two are boys). Everyone's obsessing about it and it drives me crazy. We literally couldn't care less if we have a boy or girl. We found out we're having another boy and everyone thinks we're lying.
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  • KiekKiek member
    thisusername said:

    I live in a one bedroom apartment and I keep getting people telling me I need to move. No, not really. In fact if the baby is just going to sleep in my room it's first year of life (which is all the time we have left here) why does it matter? I'm not paying $400 more a month that could be spent on baby toys or food, I love food.

    I don't think newborns need their own room.



    ** Wanted to add this disclaimer; I mean in my own situation I do not find it necessary to get a bigger place just for my newborn. If you want your newborn in their own room , you go for it. Every parent is right in their own lives! **

    Yeah, more power to you for planning to share a room with your little the first year. I have a lot of friends that have done the same. I had my first in her room after a few weeks lol. Once she was only waking up 3 times a night I just needed my own space and time alone. Maybe this one will be totally different but I know back then, I probably would have lost my mind sharing for a whole year. Introvert problems lol. But like I said, I know lots of moms that share and they absolutely love it. I think you just do what you feel is best.
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  • AdventureMamaAdventureMama member
    I keep getting people telling me exactly how DS is going to react to being a big brother. Umm pretty sure you have no idea how he'll behave until it actually happens. I'm sure there will be some adjusting, and he'll be 2.5 so there will be challenges, but stop telling me he'll be a jealous nightmare. Pretty much every kid adjusts to siblings eventually, so I think we'll be ok.
    Married 8.5.12
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  • shupertj09shupertj09 member
    You're "spoiling" your baby when you do XYZ. Ummm...no!
    Praying this is our take home baby. STICK TURKEY Mommy will miss you everyday my beautiful angel. We love you Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers M/C on 1/05/11 at 11 weeks.
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  • ohbaby714ohbaby714 member
    shupertj09 said:

    You're "spoiling" your baby when you do XYZ. Ummm...no!

    We got this alllll the time with my daughter. If I would share a picture of someone/myself holding her (which really wasn't that often) someone would always make that comment. Ugh. No, sorry I'm not going to spoil my week old baby because I rocked her to sleep. Nope.
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  • ameliejoeameliejoe member
    "Put the baby in daycare and it'll be so far ahead of other kids who stay home"
    This was after telling someone that my mom and a hired nanny were going to watch our LO out of our home.

    And my other favorite...
    "You're not finding out the gender?! That's so selfish. Let the grandparents shop for their future grandson/daughter."
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  • ShatzegirlShatzegirl member
    My grandma told me I was spoiling my son by holding him too much and picking him up when he cried. Um, isn't that just what you're supposed to do!?
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  • thoughtfulmommythoughtfulmommy member
    edited October 2015
    Most advice that I hear drives me crazy, because while it might have worked for one baby it will not work on every child.

    Best advice "go with the flow and remember this too shall pass".

    Worst advice "don't rock/ hold/ carry your child because they will never want to be put down"

    Edit to add: "let them cry, they need to exercise their lungs"

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  • ShatzegirlShatzegirl member
    edited October 2015
    The last time my MIL was here, she said my son will eat when he's hungry. Nope, he'll just get so hungry, he'll puke. He's 3 and is so busy so we really have to push food on him. He can also be super picky. He's just now starting to tell us when he's hungry.

    This the same woman who failed to feed him dinner when she watched him while my husband and I went out to eat. My husband said we should've told her to feed him but I disagree. It's just common sense to feed a child dinner at dinner time. Ugh.

    Edited spelling
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  • KiekKiek member
    @shatzegirl

    Ugh, toddler advice is probably my least favorite so far. How about toddlers are hard and keep up the good work, momma.
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  • AdventureMamaAdventureMama member
    Shatzegirl said:
    The last time my MIL was here, she said my son will eat when he's hungry. Nope, he'll just get so hungry, he'll puke. He's 3 and is so busy so we really have to push food on him. He can also be super picky. He's just now starting to tell us when he's hungry. This the same woman who failed to feed him dinner when she watched him while my husband and I went out to eat. My husband said we should've told her to feed him but I disagree. It's just common sense to feed a child dinner at dinner time. Ugh. Edited spelling
    @shatzegirl- WTF! That's so dumb.
    The last time my MIL/SFIL had DS, they took him at 10am and brought him back at 4pm or so... totally skipped his nap. He was just "having way too much fun" so they decided to be the "fun grandparents" and let him skip it. I was incredibly irritated. That screws me over, guys! He wasn't even two yet at the time, he NEEDS to nap every day and I'm very specific with them when they take him that if they can't get him to sleep, they should bring him home and I'll do it. 
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  • egraves4egraves4 member
    SO and I are planning on cloth diapering and I had a girl at work tell me "one of my friends decided to cloth diaper; it's so nasty and weird.  I can't imagine anyone wanting to do that".  I'm very anti-confrontational so I just smiled and laughed. 
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  • ShatzegirlShatzegirl member
    Kiek said:
    @shatzegirl Ugh, toddler advice is probably my least favorite so far. How about toddlers are hard and keep up the good work, momma.
    I know, right!? Toddlers are a whole other ballgame. And what works for one may or may not work for another. Kind words and support go a LONG way. 
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  • ShatzegirlShatzegirl member
    edited October 2015
    AdventureMama said:
    Shatzegirl said:
    The last time my MIL was here, she said my son will eat when he's hungry. Nope, he'll just get so hungry, he'll puke. He's 3 and is so busy so we really have to push food on him. He can also be super picky. He's just now starting to tell us when he's hungry. This the same woman who failed to feed him dinner when she watched him while my husband and I went out to eat. My husband said we should've told her to feed him but I disagree. It's just common sense to feed a child dinner at dinner time. Ugh. Edited spelling
    @shatzegirl- WTF! That's so dumb.
    The last time my MIL/SFIL had DS, they took him at 10am and brought him back at 4pm or so... totally skipped his nap. He was just "having way too much fun" so they decided to be the "fun grandparents" and let him skip it. I was incredibly irritated. That screws me over, guys! He wasn't even two yet at the time, he NEEDS to nap every day and I'm very specific with them when they take him that if they can't get him to sleep, they should bring him home and I'll do it. 
    UGH, what the hell!? Not cool at all. I could totally see my inlaws doing that, too. My MIL always reminds me that my SIL's kids never napped like there's something wrong with mine for napping. Give me a break. I remember my FIL coming over to visit when my son was a newborn and he f'ing woke him up on purpose. Needless to say, my son was NOT happy and neither was I. So selfish.
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  • ShatzegirlShatzegirl member
    edited October 2015
    Oops double post!
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  • jellybellybean3jellybellybean3 member
    edited October 2015
    Shatzegirl said:


    AdventureMama said:


    Shatzegirl said:

    The last time my MIL was here, she said my son will eat when he's hungry. Nope, he'll just get so hungry, he'll puke. He's 3 and is so busy so we really have to push food on him. He can also be super picky. He's just now starting to tell us when he's hungry.

    This the same woman who failed to feed him dinner when she watched him while my husband and I went out to eat. My husband said we should've told her to feed him but I disagree. It's just common sense to feed a child dinner at dinner time. Ugh.

    Edited spelling

    @shatzegirl- WTF! That's so dumb.
    The last time my MIL/SFIL had DS, they took him at 10am and brought him back at 4pm or so... totally skipped his nap. He was just "having way too much fun" so they decided to be the "fun grandparents" and let him skip it. I was incredibly irritated. That screws me over, guys! He wasn't even two yet at the time, he NEEDS to nap every day and I'm very specific with them when they take him that if they can't get him to sleep, they should bring him home and I'll do it. 

    UGH, what the hell!? Not cool at all. I could totally see my inlaws doing that, too. My MIL always reminds me that my SIL's kids never napped like there's something wrong with mine for napping. Give me a break. I remember my FIL coming over to visit when my son was a newborn and he f'ing woke him up on purpose. Needless to say, my son was NOT happy and neither was I. So selfish.



    That is the worst!!! When my in-laws would come down they were always grabbing my child while she was sleeping. Like seriously, can you not just leave her? And they also ignored nap time. Didn't/doesn't matter how old my children were they didn't nap with them because they were "having fun". By the time I got them back they were sooo overtired I went through hours of screaming. Also, this isn't advice but I couldn't do a darn thing with my own baby when they were around. Thanks but if my baby cries I'd like to grab her myself, or change her diaper, or comfort her instead of you running ahead of me to do it. Just give my child back to me, dammit. Sheesh, Sorry for my big side rant, ha. Touchy subject
    >:P
    Baby #3 due February. Dx with Spina Bifida Myelo  "good things are coming down the road, just don't stop walking"
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  • KiekKiek member
    egraves4 said:

    SO and I are planning on cloth diapering and I had a girl at work tell me "one of my friends decided to cloth diaper; it's so nasty and weird.  I can't imagine anyone wanting to do that".  I'm very anti-confrontational so I just smiled and laughed. 

    Okay maybe it isn't for everybody but no need to for someone to be so rude about it! I've done a mixture of both and I have to say when my daughter was wearing cloth, she never once had a diaper rash. I just didn't have all the right tools to do it full time. But if you're willing to make the initial investment, it's really awesome!
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  • KiekKiek member
    Shatzegirl said:


    Kiek said:

    @shatzegirl

    Ugh, toddler advice is probably my least favorite so far. How about toddlers are hard and keep up the good work, momma.

    I know, right!? Toddlers are a whole other ballgame. And what works for one may or may not work for another. Kind words and support go a LONG way. 

    One of my good friends has a son whose 6 now but she was noticing that my daughter was just like her son was at that age. She told me to hang in there, stand my ground when the tantrums come and not to get discouraged because eventually this phase will end and all this hard stuff will pay off lol. So I'm clinging to that lol. Probably the only toddler advice I've ever really appreciated, just because her kid was so much like mine is now and her kid now is wonderful lol.
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  • paytonpedropaytonpedro member
    AdventureMama said:

    I keep getting people telling me exactly how DS is going to react to being a big brother. Umm pretty sure you have no idea how he'll behave until it actually happens. I'm sure there will be some adjusting, and he'll be 2.5 so there will be challenges, but stop telling me he'll be a jealous nightmare. Pretty much every kid adjusts to siblings eventually, so I think we'll be ok.

    I've been thinking all day about bad advice I've gotten and I couldn't think of any until I read this. Everyone in my life feels the need to make a comment about how my dogs will react to the baby. They don't love kids, but learn to tollerate them when they are around. Also I have to remind people that I'll be bringing home a newborn and not a 5 year old and that once that baby starts eating real food, and subsequently dropping real food, the dogs will be his best friend. My dogs are all small and get all of mine and my husbands attention right now, however I have 3 dogs that get along and play well together. I think they'll be so fine. They ask for attention when they want it, but are otherwise pretty independent. Sorry it's so long, but that's my rant! Lol

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  • ShatzegirlShatzegirl member
    jellybellybean3 said:

    Shatzegirl said:


    AdventureMama said:


    Shatzegirl said:

    The last time my MIL was here, she said my son will eat when he's hungry. Nope, he'll just get so hungry, he'll puke. He's 3 and is so busy so we really have to push food on him. He can also be super picky. He's just now starting to tell us when he's hungry.

    This the same woman who failed to feed him dinner when she watched him while my husband and I went out to eat. My husband said we should've told her to feed him but I disagree. It's just common sense to feed a child dinner at dinner time. Ugh.

    Edited spelling

    @shatzegirl- WTF! That's so dumb.
    The last time my MIL/SFIL had DS, they took him at 10am and brought him back at 4pm or so... totally skipped his nap. He was just "having way too much fun" so they decided to be the "fun grandparents" and let him skip it. I was incredibly irritated. That screws me over, guys! He wasn't even two yet at the time, he NEEDS to nap every day and I'm very specific with them when they take him that if they can't get him to sleep, they should bring him home and I'll do it. 

    UGH, what the hell!? Not cool at all. I could totally see my inlaws doing that, too. My MIL always reminds me that my SIL's kids never napped like there's something wrong with mine for napping. Give me a break. I remember my FIL coming over to visit when my son was a newborn and he f'ing woke him up on purpose. Needless to say, my son was NOT happy and neither was I. So selfish.



    That is the worst!!! When my in-laws would come down they were always grabbing my child while she was sleeping. Like seriously, can you not just leave her? And they also ignored nap time. Didn't/doesn't matter how old my children were they didn't nap with them because they were "having fun". By the time I got them back they were sooo overtired I went through hours of screaming. Also, this isn't advice but I couldn't do a darn thing with my own baby when they were around. Thanks but if my baby cries I'd like to grab her myself, or change her diaper, or comfort her instead of you running ahead of me to do it. Just give my child back to me, dammit. Sheesh, Sorry for my big side rant, ha. Touchy subject
    >:P

    I can totally empathize. It's like they don't care about what it does to the child and the aftermath we have to deal with! My MIL refused to hand over my son when he was crying because she thought she knew best. (I kept telling her he was tired and needed to sleep.) I had to get a little bitchy to have her hand him back to me. She insisted I check his diaper and it was completely dry. However, he stopped crying as soon as I laid him down for a nap. Go figure! It's so aggravating when people think they know your child better than you do!!
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  • ShatzegirlShatzegirl member
    Kiek said:

    Shatzegirl said:


    Kiek said:

    @shatzegirl

    Ugh, toddler advice is probably my least favorite so far. How about toddlers are hard and keep up the good work, momma.

    I know, right!? Toddlers are a whole other ballgame. And what works for one may or may not work for another. Kind words and support go a LONG way. 
    One of my good friends has a son whose 6 now but she was noticing that my daughter was just like her son was at that age. She told me to hang in there, stand my ground when the tantrums come and not to get discouraged because eventually this phase will end and all this hard stuff will pay off lol. So I'm clinging to that lol. Probably the only toddler advice I've ever really appreciated, just because her kid was so much like mine is now and her kid now is wonderful lol.

    That IS awesome toddler advice! I'll have to remember that because this toddler stuff is rough!
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