October 2015 Moms

anyone else not enjoying breastfeeding??

So we decided id breastfeed LO. I seriously hate it. It doesnt hurt at all. But i just dont like the feeling. It kind of creeps me out. I dont mean any offense to any of you who are doing it and like it. I just dont think its for me. I told DH id give it a fair shot...but i dont know how much longer i can hang on.
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Re: anyone else not enjoying breastfeeding??

  • Try pumping! I'm not too keen on breast feeding either so i'm trying to exclusively pump!
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  • I tried so hard with my first. But it was so painful and just didn't feel right. I'm going to give it another try. But I recall being in tears all the time because I just didn't like being touched in the breast. It's ok, you're not a bad mom. Do what you feel is best for you and baby.
  • My LO is 3 weeks old and I was sure I would enjoy it by now. I wasn't able to breastfeed my first two babies due to them being preemies. This time around its going ok as far my baby girl is concerned but it still hurts a bit for me and I get very weary and miss the ease of bottle feeding...breastfeeding definitely is not for everyone. My two boys were formula fed and turned out great :)
  • Ive been supplementing with formula. I think my supply is low too. I wanted to give it a fair shot and not quit too early. But im definately thinking ill be going fully to formula soon. Im sure Evelyn is not enjoying the breast feeding either if shes not getting enough and im all tense.
  • My baby wouldn't latch; he cried, which made me cry and it just wasn't working for us. I'm pumping and feeding expressed breast milk and that's working out. For me, I'd rather have a happy bottle-fed baby and a happy mama rather than force breastfeeding. Do what feels right for you, and don't feel guilty!
  • My baby is only 2 days old so I have very little time in but it is a little frustrating for me so far. It's not as weird feeling as I thought it would be but it hurts a lot because she wasn't latching right and caused blisters and still isnt latching right. I'm not giving it up yet, but I totally understand the way you're feeling.
  • It was very painful for me at first, but I'm glad I stuck with it. I personally felt like it benefitted my baby tremendously - he has only had three colds in his entire life - and I've noticed a lot of my friends who have formula fed, their kids tended to struggle with being under weight, chronic ear infections...etc. You could try pumping, but I think pumping is a lot of work and I actually felt more uncomfortable pumping that nursing in terms of the sensation. Breastfeeding is also an incredible bonding situation. I would try to stick it out for a couple of weeks and see if it gets any better.

    Formula is also ridiculously expensive. Your body is producing the best thing for your baby... For free!
  • Oh i totally agree. One of the major reasons we were planning breastfeeding was the cost. Or lack of cost i guess. Im gonna stick with it fir a few more weeks and see how it goes!
  • I never enjoyed breastfeeding at all. All of that "it's so natural--- it's such a beautiful thing---just think of the bonding--". I never felt/agreed with it at all. I did it because it is best for baby and it was free. I weaned as soon as they turned a year and I could give them cows milk. When all is said and done, I am glad I did it and I will breastfeed this one too assuming I am able.

    Best advice is that not everyone loves it like you hear. I would set a goal for yourself and stick too it. For example -- you are going to do it for 3 more weeks and then after 3 weeks re evaluate. If it still isn't too bad, give it two more weeks and just keep taking it one step at a time.

    I originally said I was going to breastfeed for 6 months. Once I made it to that point, it was a lot easier for me to say that I had made it that far, why not try for a year.

    Also, as they get older, they get a lot more efficient with feeding and it doesn't take nearly as long and becomes much more convenient.
  • My baby is 4 days old and I want the absolute best for her in every way so of course she went directly to the breast, after only 4 days of being extremely stressed, exhausted and in soooo much pain from blisters on my nipples I've decided to pump and if that doesn't work (which I hope it does) I will be starting formula. I seriously had a breakdown because I feel there is this cloud over women who don't breastfeed their babies, like society tries to belittle those women when in fact the only thing that matters is that our baby's are healthy and well fed! So props to all the mama's breastfeeding, pumping, and formula feeding their baby's we are ALL super moms!
  • Hate it! Not necessarily BF but everything that comes with it. Pumping is the worst. I have an oversupply so get full quickly. Leak everywhere and it hurts. On the daily I get milk somewhere whether all over me, baby or bed. Breastpads are itchy and uncomfortable but a must. Day has to always be planned around pumping. I'm trying to wean my supply so trying to stretch to every 6 hours pumping (breastfeeding every 3) and it hurts a lot. My boobs get lumpy and veiny. As far as BF, my preemie is now a month old but we still use a nipple shield as easier for her to latch and as we were alternating with bottles since she was in NICU for 3 weeks. Lactation consultant said around her original due date is prob when I could stop using shield and she may latch better. Anyway.. Yes it stinks and I don't plan on going longer than 6 months. However I do have a deep freezer full of milk which will prob get me another 3-6 months.
  • It took me six weeks to get the hang o it, and for my baby to. She was very small and latching was hard. Nipple shield did help, as did a lot of nipple cream and boob-ice packs basically (made by the first years). I had a pretty hard time at first. I set small goals and actually made it to 16 mths before my daughter weaned herself.

    When all is said and done, it's not for everyone, and you're not a bad mom if you change course. I'm just saying the first few weeks may not be indicative of how the rest may go if you choose to continue.
  • I breastfed my son for 22 months and hated it. Never enjoyed the sensation, though I learned to tolerate it until I was pregnant again. I'm bresstfedding my daughter now, though at present j pump and bottle feed breastmilk more than anything else. I plan to BF at least 12-18 months because of the nutritional benefits (and to save $$), but that whole "bonding experience" is not happening! (I bond with my daughter by cuddling and playing with her, but not while nursing).

    a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Parenting Tips"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt1c2dc3.aspx" alt=" Pregnancy Ticker" border="0"  /></a>
  • The NYTimes just posted an article on the "over-selling" of breastfeeding that many of you will probably appreciate! I am very lucky that my baby, even born 4 weeks early, latched great, my supply is great, pumping is going well, and I've never had cracked nipples or blisters - with all of that said, it is still hard. Day care starts in 6 weeks and she hates taking a bottle. I'm still not on a sleeping/feeding/pumping schedule which I know is going to bite me in the ass when I go back to work. Something I am eating is causing her an upset stomach, so I have to be very careful with my diet. We are very happy to be saving money, but no matter what you choose, it's hard!

    https://mobile.nytimes.com/2015/10/18/opinion/sunday/overselling-breast-feeding.html?smid=tw-nytimes&smtyp=cur&referer=https://t.co/jw1O47n6Dt
  • I gave birth at a catholic hospital andthey reaaallly push bf. Its almost like they dont give you a choice. Ive been using a nipple sheild because she was tongue tied when she was born and that was the only way shed latch. So im lucky in that aspect. But that makes me think how difficult itll be to bf out in public. Im not so good at it that i literally have to take my whole top down lol there is no discreetness. Ive been pumpong but only seem to get an ounce of ounce and a half. That makes me wonder how much shes getting directly.. i guess its all a learning curve
  • My hospital gave me a flyer about breastfeeding and its benefits, and it basically made using formula look like the equivalent of not feeding your baby. The wording was something like, "side-effects if formula use are . . ." This kind of upset me, even though I try to feed my daughter as much breastmilk as possible (she takes 70-80% breastmilk and the rest in formula). Formula isn't poison, even if it's not "real" milk. Also, I think if we could get rid of any shame attached to supplementing or formula feeding, women would enjoy breastfeeding or at least attempting to breastfeed a lot more.

    a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Parenting Tips"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt1c2dc3.aspx" alt=" Pregnancy Ticker" border="0"  /></a>
  • Agreed. I think every mother needs to do what is best for her and her family. No matter what the decision may be.
  • I am right there with you! I was just thinking today I would be enjoying my baby so much more if everytime it was time for feeding I didn't wince . It's not painful just uncomfortable for me . Going to try to stick it out for 6 weeks then make a decision if I will continue .
  • For those saying BF-ing isn't painful for them, I'm wondering how that's possible? STM's? Are your babies just more gentle than mine? Mine has the jaws of a baby piranha and my nipples hurt so bad and the first minute or so of every feeding I'm in terrible pain. The LC's at the hospital, nurses, and my doula all say he has a great deep latch and I'm even using nipple shields because I have flat nipples. But I still want to cry every time it's feeding time and to make it worse I'm day 4 with no milk yet so I'm very frustrated that all this pain isn't leading to feeding him yet. We had to supplement starting yesterday because we weren't getting nearly enough dirty diapers. I have a really bad case of puppps which possibly could be getting in the way or at least the stress of it. Ok rambling post over!
  • I use nipple shields too. It did hurt at the beginning. But not anymore. To me it just feels...weird..and uncomfortable
  • The pain from my swollen vagina, stitches and sitting so long are what happens to be causing my frustration with bf right now. I literally feel like Im sitting on a swollen stitched up bruise....tonight she cluster fed :( ouch.
  • @dalzien thank you so much for your thoughtful response. I really appreciate it. I think the puppps is making me feed in strange positions because any trapped body heat makes it worse so I have stopped feeding where it's comfortable for me i.e. Sitting down or side lying but when I did those at first they were great. Right now I'm putting him at the breast before bottles so I'm still getting stimulation and he adjusts to the bottle after pretty well abd I'm pumping twice a day too. Luckily he will take a breast any time and stay on for 20+ minutes if I let him. So I'm hoping that he still prefers the breast when my milk comes in. Still hasn't, coming up on day 5 but I'm hopeful for tomorrow. I am using the Earth Mama vegan nipple butter as well and letting it dry on the nips is that right?
  • Also my lactation consultant told me using a little breast milk on your nipples will help them to heal as well
  • It's hard for me to say that I'm not enjoying breastfeeding, in fact, I pretty much hate it. I'm a FTM with no experience with babies, but I envisioned bf'ing to be a natural thing that would be easy. Wrong! It's almost worse than labor. My baby has a shallow latch which I can't seem to correct so I just deal with he pain. Feels like someone has run sandpaper over my nipples continously and I dread every feeding. As soon as I finish feeding him I immediately start to have anxiety about the pain I'm going to experience in another 1.5-2 hours. It doesn't help that he goes from sound asleep to ravenous in about 5 seconds. I'm so ready to give him. I've already seen a lactation consultant at the hospital multiple times and had a lactation counselor come to my house twice. I'm trying to take it one day at a time. and I know everyone says it's going to get better, but when!?!?
  • Louisl said:
    @dalzien thank you so much for your thoughtful response. I really appreciate it. I think the puppps is making me feed in strange positions because any trapped body heat makes it worse so I have stopped feeding where it's comfortable for me i.e. Sitting down or side lying but when I did those at first they were great. Right now I'm putting him at the breast before bottles so I'm still getting stimulation and he adjusts to the bottle after pretty well abd I'm pumping twice a day too. Luckily he will take a breast any time and stay on for 20+ minutes if I let him. So I'm hoping that he still prefers the breast when my milk comes in. Still hasn't, coming up on day 5 but I'm hopeful for tomorrow. I am using the Earth Mama vegan nipple butter as well and letting it dry on the nips is that right?

    I'm glad you're sticking with it. Honestly eventually you will find something that works for you, but it has to be comfortable for you or you'll never like it/always dread it. The butter doesn't actually have to be dry. When I had blisters I put it on before a feeding and right after. Once the blisters went away I would put some on after to help prevent chaffing from my bra (as my nipples were very sensitive). Eventually you'll find you won't need the butter as you and your LO will find something that works and all of the soreness will stop. My milk took a few days to come in as well, but I was getting colostrum from day 2 or 3... my milk came in about day 5-6 with the help of hand stimulation that the lactation consultant at the hospital showed me.
    If ever you need more advice please ask. I am not a professional by any means, but I've helped where I can because I am a huge supporter of breastfeeding... but I am always more concerned about well fed babies.
  • It's hard for me to say that I'm not enjoying breastfeeding, in fact, I pretty much hate it. I'm a FTM with no experience with babies, but I envisioned bf'ing to be a natural thing that would be easy. Wrong! It's almost worse than labor. My baby has a shallow latch which I can't seem to correct so I just deal with he pain. Feels like someone has run sandpaper over my nipples continously and I dread every feeding. As soon as I finish feeding him I immediately start to have anxiety about the pain I'm going to experience in another 1.5-2 hours. It doesn't help that he goes from sound asleep to ravenous in about 5 seconds. I'm so ready to give him. I've already seen a lactation consultant at the hospital multiple times and had a lactation counselor come to my house twice. I'm trying to take it one day at a time. and I know everyone says it's going to get better, but when!?!?


    If you can, try a good nipple cream. Also make sure that if you need to readjust your latch that you slip a finger in to break the suction. Don't ever just "Deal with the pain". It will be uncomfortable as you get used to it, but it should never be painful. A lactation consultant should have been able to pinpoint the issue. I'm sorry they weren't much help. Our experience took about 2 months to improve, as our DD was exclusively breastfed. I went through improper latching, blisters/sores, and mastitis. It helps to have a good support system, such as your SO. My hubby was a serious source of comfort when I wanted to give up, but he knew how important it was for me to breastfeed and he didn't let me give up because it was just "too hard". For the shallow latch issue when baby opens up to latch on try to use your thumb (assuming you are holding the breast with thumb on top and pointer/middle underneath) to help get more of the "lower half" of your nipple into their mouth. This will take several attempts to find what works for the two of you, but again it should not be painful. If you find after a few seconds there is pain, then the latch is still too shallow and you need to try again. Other advice I've found says to have the consultant check for a tongue-tie. I hope you find something that works for you before you throw in the towel, but a well fed baby is what is most important. Good luck.

  • While I was in the hospital my baby didn't latch but she wasn't completely opposed to nursing. I just wasn't producing enough colostrum to satisfy her. My milk just came in yesterday and my baby was born Tuesday. Our whole stay in the hospital -- 4 days because of a c-section -- she was fed formula. But now my breasts are so enforced that I feel like my chest is going to split.

    As I text this, I'm pumping. I'm hoping my baby will take to my milk and we can only supplement with formula. It's definitely not the most comfortable thing in the world because my nipples are very sensitive but it's not for me; it's for my baby.
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  • @dalzien thanks so much for the support. Milk came in yesterday am and more today but literally fed on demand all night last night and baby barely slept and was so angry and pediatrician today said that we just have a baby with a very high metabolism and we need to offer breast, switch sides, then offer bottle for another few days until my milk is fully in. He was 8#10 at birth and is so hungry all the time and even though I was so adamantly against supplementing, as long as it's not interfering with my supply I have to do what's best for him and adjust my plan. Hopefully all my milk comes on soon. I def feel my breasts getting full and I feel letdown.
  • Has anyone tried Dr. Newmans nipple ointment? My midwife called me in a prescription yesterday. I'm really hoping it helps. 800mg ibprophin seems to help some too. I'm determined to stick this out just really hoping the pain will go away soon. 18 days pp, no cracked or bleeding nipples, they seem raw, very sore and tender.
  • I didn't like it with my first but I did it for about 6 months cause we didn't want to pay for formula. I felt like a terrible mother because all my friends were saying how much they loved it. I'm going to breast feed again with this baby but I think I'll be a lot more comfortable with it. It is definitely not for everyone tho so don't let anyone make you feel bad about not doing it.
  • I'm not going to say breastfeeding isn't painful but I think it's how your outlook is on what you are doing for your baby. Our little girl was born 5 days ago and she latched on immediately my colostrum was already in and my milk dropped 2 days ago so I really had it easy however my nipples are raw I'm tired I get emotional when I feed her my uterus cramps like all get out but then I think the pain is so worth it, I get to feed the most precious person in my kife, no one else can do that. That's a pretty amazing and empowering thing. So I agree with you I'm a FTM and breastfeeding is painful but I just remind myself what I'm giving my daughter and it makes it all just a little more bearable :)
  • I am one who really enjoys breastfeeding, but only after the initial learning curve with a newborn. My older daughter got the hang of it after 3.5 weeks and then we were golden, going on to nurse for a couple years, the convenience of it can't be beat in my mind. However, those first few weeks were hell, painful hell as we learned how to do this new thing together. I was hoping for an easier time this time around, but sigh, it is not to be. My supply has come in faster, but this little one has a lip tie just like my other DD. That equals a shallow latch and more hellish pain for me. We are getting her lip tie corrected this time rather than waiting to see if she gets it like her sister did, I'm just waiting for the dr to call and set up my appt. Until then..... ouchie!
  • It's hard for me to say that I'm not enjoying breastfeeding, in fact, I pretty much hate it. I'm a FTM with no experience with babies, but I envisioned bf'ing to be a natural thing that would be easy. Wrong! It's almost worse than labor. My baby has a shallow latch which I can't seem to correct so I just deal with he pain. Feels like someone has run sandpaper over my nipples continously and I dread every feeding. As soon as I finish feeding him I immediately start to have anxiety about the pain I'm going to experience in another 1.5-2 hours. It doesn't help that he goes from sound asleep to ravenous in about 5 seconds. I'm so ready to give him. I've already seen a lactation consultant at the hospital multiple times and had a lactation counselor come to my house twice. I'm trying to take it one day at a time. and I know everyone says it's going to get better, but when!?!?

    have you tried nipple shields? The barrier should help with pain. I had a preemie and mine are a little flat so I have been using for month or so. Have tried for a little without and it feels like she is biting more. They when she is around full term time may be able to stop using. I feel like it is a good when also doing some bottles Bc same sort of latch.

    Happy to say I also have been trying to wean down my supply as I would be pumping every 3 hours, so full with at least 60ounces a day pumped. It's been painful trying to go longer and longer but now that I am breastfeeding 6-8 times a day I only need to pump 2-3 times. I'll take it!

    Question for ladies using nipple shields- when did you stop using them? Do you have to stop using them?
  • I'm using a nipple shield and baby girl is only 4 days old but she has a shallow latch as well, and the nipple shield is the only thing that gets her on and keeps her on. I plan to use them until I give her a bottle ( which I would like to do sooner than later) I don't Hate breast feeding but if I can have my husband share half the feedings that would be great, did anyone pump and bottle feed right away? I feel like anytime I ask the doc or nurse they encourage to wait until 4 weeks for a bottle so I really have no idea if people do that or how much milk you should be giving a 5 day old! Breast feeding is overwhelming and frustrating!
  • Drink alot of water!
  • Btwn trying to heal, BF, and then nipple care..it's exhausting!! I'm 2 weeks in, and the pain has gotten better. After a feeding I squeeze a little bit of milk onto my nipple and let it dry, then put on some lansinoh. This healed me up quickly. I'm so tired at night time, we have started my SO giving her a formula bottle so I can sleep. I felt so guilty, and still do, but I'm doing the best I can and that's what any of us can say. I've started to pump, but my supply is still lacking to get enough. Keep trying, I will too! But let's not shame ourselves or each other!
  • @christina4436 I tried nipple shields but he is so active and constantly moving his arms around. He always knocked them off and seemed like he wasn't getting enough milk.

    @Leabyrd
    I gave my baby bottles of pumped breast milk at around 5-6 days old. My nipples were so sore and bleeding that I needed to let them rest so I could continue breastfeeding. I alternated between breast and bottle for a couple days. I noticed that the bottle doesn't satisfy him like the breast but it gave me a break. He didn't seem to have any trouble going back to the breast.
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