DH deployed, I'm 5 weeks pp

Re: DH deployed, I'm 5 weeks pp

• jwebb0512 member

  October 2015

  My husband deployed when my son was 1 month old and now he's been gone for training since my daughter was a week old ( she's 5 weeks now). The best advice I can give is that I would stay close to post, if at all possible. There are so many great playgroups, mom's groups, mommy and me classes, etc. available for free or cheap. I totally took advantage when my hubby was gone the first time because we had just moved here and had no friends and I'm SO glad I did. I met some amazing friends! I'd get involved any way you can. It gets you out of the house and helps you meet people. I also tried to stick to a routine. It helped that I had something to do each day and I wasn't sitting around waiting. As far as your hubby missing the first nine months of your LO's life, yes, it does suck, but she won't ever remember. It's harder on you and hubby than her. Surprisingly, my hubby was able to FaceTime us quite often, so hopefully yours will be the same! I always gave myself a day to cry and be sad, then pull myself together and move on. You want your hubby to know that you're ok and have everything together. If he's worried about you, he isn't focused on his mission, which isn't good for anybody. Just remember you're a strong woman, wife, and momma. You can do this! Best of luck!

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• AndieTessie member

  October 2015

  I haven't done a deployment yet with a baby (DH doesn't go until March) but I know they suck and must be so much harder with a baby. My best advice is to keep yourself busy and set daily goals. Even if your goal is to shower and take the trash out, it feels good to accomplish something. Take lots of baby pictures for your husband and try to keep him as involved as possible. It gets easier, I promise.

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• kary12345 member

  October 2015

  First I wanted to say thank you to both you and your husband. I really appreciate the sacrifices you both are making to protect our country.
  In my experience with deployment, the first days/weeks are the very worst. I felt after the first week I was kind of used to him being gone and it hurt less. I also had a 20 min period in the morning where I let myself cry and feel sorry for myself if I needed to. Then the rest of the day I had to be tough and get through it.
  It might be cool to start a journal or blog or google document that you write in everyday. You could post pictures, activities and things that happened to keep your husband updated. It would also serve as a cool thing for your child when they are older.
  Lean on friends and family to get you through. The mommy groups sound like an awesome idea because they will know better than anyone what if feels like to go through deployment with children. If things get really bad consider therapy. Keep yourself healthy so you can be the best mom for your baby.
  Just remember this is just for a while and when things get tough, look at the moon. He is looking at the same one. That thought really helped me when my then significant other and I were dealing with deployment.

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• lauramichelle58 member

  October 2015

  I haven't dealt with deployment yet but my husband will be leaving for four months starting in January. I have to admit that I'm dreading it (and slightly resentful as well). Like you had said, I knew what I was getting myself into when I married him, but it feels different now that we have a baby. I'm angry that he'll be missing so much and I already feel semi abandoned. Lean on your family/friends as much as you need to (trust me, they're going to want to help). There's no replacement for her dad and we can't get back the time missed, but in the grand scheme of it all, 9 months will feel short in comparison to the many, many years you'll all spend together as a family. Stay strong, cry as much as you need to, and lean on others.

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• camaguire21 member

  October 2015

  My husband left for his 2nd deployment in 2 years when our son was 3 weeks old. I'll be honest with you, the first few weeks suck. But as time goes on and you start being able to communicate with him (hopefully frequently, I'm not sure what your hubby does) it gets so much better. I too am headed back home to be with family and it's a huge help. Until they stay busy, make care packages, snuggle the heck out of that little one. Trust me, he's missing you just as much as you miss him. Keep the conversations positive, send him cute pictures of LO. Last deployment I sat around feeling sorry for myself and it made things way worse. Stay strong for your family, you got this

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• xosisi member

  October 2015

  Thanks ladies I was going to stay on post but I decided being with family would be best right now since I'm a ftm. I'm trying to be strong for my little girl and it's tough but I'm pushing through it. I'm glad that I have family willing to come out here to drive back home with me, it's a hell of a drive haha.

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• sarahabbottt member

  October 2015

  My husband left for his first deployment when I was 32 weeks and has yet to meet our little guy. I made the decision to move to be with family as well and it was a great decision for us. Depending on where your husband goes and what he does, you might be able to communicate often which will help. We are able to video chat a few days a week and are able to send messages daily. I also find it helpful to plan small things to do every week to stay busy and help the time go faster. Like others have said, take pictures, put together care packages, write letters, etc. The first few days are the worst, but keep pushing through it and I promise it gets better. Baby snuggles are a huge help too. Deployment is never easy, but you will get through it!

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