@Sgoldberg247 YES! Me too! Usually I love my MIL's food and she's very careful, but she often buys pre-made things that I don't really go for. My BIL is pretty outspoken though and will comment on this. One time she offered me something and I said, "no thanks," and her response was, "it's gluten-free." Then my BIL chirped, "oh, you must like it then!" lol. Also, there is a gluten joke almost every time we see her. "Does anyone want a beer? Candice?" *sigh*
You've inspired me for my own related UO. I hate the people that are GF because "gluten makes you fat." YOU ARE THE REASON PEOPLE GET ANNOYED WITH ME AT RESTAURANTS. I just want to not get poisoned at a meal! I'm not a hippy!!!!
Also, you don't find out the baby's gender. You find out the sex. Last I checked the u/s shows body parts, not whether baby is wearing a pink dress or blue overalls.
I don't think a pink dress or blue overalls are an indicator of gender or sex either.
@Sgoldberg247 YES! Me too! Usually I love my MIL's food and she's very careful, but she often buys pre-made things that I don't really go for. My BIL is pretty outspoken though and will comment on this. One time she offered me something and I said, "no thanks," and her response was, "it's gluten-free." Then my BIL chirped, "oh, you must like it then!" lol. Also, there is a gluten joke almost every time we see her. "Does anyone want a beer? Candice?" *sigh*
You've inspired me for my own related UO. I hate the people that are GF because "gluten makes you fat." YOU ARE THE REASON PEOPLE GET ANNOYED WITH ME AT RESTAURANTS. I just want to not get poisoned at a meal! I'm not a hippy!!!!
Eta: Can't spell.
YES!!!! If I eat gluten, I feel like I have someone burrowing from my stomach out with a rusty knife for 12-24 hours (drunk me mistakenly ate meatballs because drunk me didn't remember that meatballs have flour. Sober me the next day was very upset with drunk me). At restaurants I make sure to say if I eat gluten it will actually make me sick, like, curled up in a ball on the floor in extreme pain sick, not fad diet "I can't have gluten unless it's inconvenient for me not to" sick.
@Sgoldberg247 YES! Me too! Usually I love my MIL's food and she's very careful, but she often buys pre-made things that I don't really go for. My BIL is pretty outspoken though and will comment on this. One time she offered me something and I said, "no thanks," and her response was, "it's gluten-free." Then my BIL chirped, "oh, you must like it then!" lol. Also, there is a gluten joke almost every time we see her. "Does anyone want a beer? Candice?" *sigh*
You've inspired me for my own related UO. I hate the people that are GF because "gluten makes you fat." YOU ARE THE REASON PEOPLE GET ANNOYED WITH ME AT RESTAURANTS. I just want to not get poisoned at a meal! I'm not a hippy!!!!
Eta: Can't spell.
YES!!!! If I eat gluten, I feel like I have someone burrowing from my stomach out with a rusty knife for 12-24 hours (drunk me mistakenly ate meatballs because drunk me didn't remember that meatballs have flour. Sober me the next day was very upset with drunk me). At restaurants I make sure to say if I eat gluten it will actually make me sick, like, curled up in a ball on the floor in extreme pain sick, not fad diet "I can't have gluten unless it's inconvenient for me not to" sick.
I just went to a wedding where everything was gluten-free (other people had no idea so I was like, HA! It's not all disgusting!). The caterer said, "once you pass the buns, you're good to go." I was so excited, lol.
Also, here is a lovely gif to represent the GF fad people:
I resent the idea that (generally) women have (insert occasion: wedding, baby) showers and men get to go off and play golf (insert other stereotypical man activity) and drink beer. I would SO always rather be out drinking beer and doing whatever the guys are doing.
Agreed @courtjack! Would rather drink and do anything else then go to showers! I had my best friends open my shower gifts quickly and display them (more to please the older crowd), so people could just drink, eat, chat and not sit around watching you open gifts YOU chose, such a strange tradition!
Homecoming too???? WTF?!?!? Asking is fine. But that's the excitement of it all to just be asked. A guy comes up to you in the hallway or passes a note or I guess nowadays a text or instant message but that's it. There is no need for a full blown charade and all the theatrics. They're teenagers! If their "promposal" ends up being such a big production, what the heck will their actual wedding proposal be like?!?
I reached a limit when I saw this headline a while back:
Agreed @courtjack! Would rather drink and do anything else then go to showers! I had my best friends open my shower gifts quickly and display them (more to please the older crowd), so people could just drink, eat, chat and not sit around watching you open gifts YOU chose, such a strange tradition!
I tried to get out of having a bridal shower because it is the most uncomfortable thing ever. Let me sit here opening presents for 40 minutes while everyone stares at me and ooos and aahhs. Didn't work but I tried. We'll see if hormonal me manages to get out of a baby shower or not...Something tells me no but it's worth a try.
Agreed @courtjack! Would rather drink and do anything else then go to showers! I had my best friends open my shower gifts quickly and display them (more to please the older crowd), so people could just drink, eat, chat and not sit around watching you open gifts YOU chose, such a strange tradition!
I tried to get out of having a bridal shower because it is the most uncomfortable thing ever. Let me sit here opening presents for 40 minutes while everyone stares at me and ooos and aahhs. Didn't work but I tried. We'll see if hormonal me manages to get out of a baby shower or not...Something tells me no but it's worth a try.
I got out of my baby shower by insisting that I would rather have a "meet the baby" gathering instead. Then, I had a baby and she became my excuse not to have one of those either
I loathe Taylor Swift's music to the point that it is like nails on a chalkboard to me.
Aww man!! I'm not ashamed to admit I love her! Going to her concert THIS Tuesday AND my first ultrasound is that day...I don't know which I'm more excited about (j/k- ok obviously Taylor Swift errr I mean ultrasound)!
I just don't see how this is going to work out musically @tarier !
@kara0729 Haters gonna hate, hate, hate. Not shy about being a hater, but I hope you do enjoy the concert! I've heard she puts on an awesome show, as my neice and SIL saw her a few months ago and still talk about it.
Ohhhh wait. I have another. I cannot stand PSLs I think they're vile. Gimmie all the SCM
Oh no you didn't!! Hahahaha. Jk I love the PSL but I'm not obsessed. Used to be. I just find it funny because I know a few years ago I would've been so shocked by that UO hahaha.
We had a couples wedding shower with open bar and Sunday football on the tv I pissed off some oldies by not opening presents. Whatever! It was not a bridal shower!
Edited to add: this was the only "shower" we had. And it was couples in the sense men and women were both invited...regardless if you were part of a couple or not.
@CourtJack@Sgoldberg247
We had a couples wedding shower with open bar and Sunday football on the tv I pissed off some oldies by not opening presents. Whatever! It was not a bridal shower!
I would happily attend something this amazing. I bet everyone loved it, right? (save the oldies)
Agreed @courtjack! Would rather drink and do anything else then go to showers! I had my best friends open my shower gifts quickly and display them (more to please the older crowd), so people could just drink, eat, chat and not sit around watching you open gifts YOU chose, such a strange tradition!
I tried to get out of having a bridal shower because it is the most uncomfortable thing ever. Let me sit here opening presents for 40 minutes while everyone stares at me and ooos and aahhs. Didn't work but I tried. We'll see if hormonal me manages to get out of a baby shower or not...Something tells me no but it's worth a try.
Yes yes @sgoldberg247, you've been to one shower you've been to one too many! I'll gladly give anyone a gift! I just don't need to see it opened!
@CourtJack@Sgoldberg247
We had a couples wedding shower with open bar and Sunday football on the tv I pissed off some oldies by not opening presents. Whatever! It was not a bridal shower!
My shower had an open bar too (my family is a healthy mix of irish and polish, we like our booze) and we did have a hockey game on during the whole thing. My MIL actually screamed "YES!" after a goal a minute into overtime, in the middle of the presents opening which I found hilarious.
UO: Although I hate attending showers I was thrilled to have my own. People doting over me and my belly and giving me presents while I eat food someone else prepared and cake? YES PLEASE.
Also, you don't find out the baby's gender. You find out the sex. Last I checked the u/s shows body parts, not whether baby is wearing a pink dress or blue overalls.
I don't think a pink dress or blue overalls are an indicator of gender or sex either.
Gender is how one presents themselves as man or woman....so yeah clothing would be gender.
My UO. I really can't wait for baby loss month to be over. I totally get it, if you have lost a baby it's terrible and at any other time it wouldn't bother me at all. I don't mean to sound heartless. But right now I am trying desperately hard not to think about what could go wrong and every time I open my Facebook there's another post reminding me.
Also, you don't find out the baby's gender. You find out the sex. Last I checked the u/s shows body parts, not whether baby is wearing a pink dress or blue overalls.
I don't think a pink dress or blue overalls are an indicator of gender or sex either.
Gender is how one presents themselves as man or woman....so yeah clothing would be gender.
Right, but women wear blue overalls all the time and identify as women. Men in pink dresses, less so, but certainly possible to cross dress and identify as a man.
That's true, too. My basic point was penis and vagina identify the baby's sex. Although I don't have a problem with the term "gender reveal" because "sex reveal" sounds like a swinger party.
That's true, too. My basic point was penis and vagina identify the baby's sex. Although I don't have a problem with the term "gender reveal" because "sex reveal" sounds like a swinger party.
So, I'll go on the record here that saying gender or sex for the baby in utero does not bother me one bit. But, you are right, it *should* be sex. And yes, totally agree about the party name being weird.
My UO. I really can't wait for baby loss month to be over. I totally get it, if you have lost a baby it's terrible and at any other time it wouldn't bother me at all. I don't mean to sound heartless. But right now I am trying desperately hard not to think about what could go wrong and every time I open my Facebook there's another post reminding me.
We're all trying not to think about the worst, but this month is about lifting up the women who have lived it. Who have lost their babies before they got to say hello, who have delivered their babies sleeping, who have had to say goodbye too soon. So forgive me, but you do sound heartless. I hope you never have to suffer the pain that these women have.
I'm sorry. I really worried about how it would sound before I posted it and I think I made a mistake. I feel for everyone, I truly do. Before I had posted I had seen something someone posted on Facebook and it had me in tears. And it made me hope and pray nothing happens to my baby. I came over here and saw the UO thread and it was still so much in my mind. I didn't mean to offend. I have a bad habit of talking without thinking and I was riding my emotions. Again, I'm very sorry.
I'm sorry. I really worried about how it would sound before I posted it and I think I made a mistake. I feel for everyone, I truly do. Before I had posted I had seen something someone posted on Facebook and it had me in tears. And it made me hope and pray nothing happens to my baby. I came over here and saw the UO thread and it was still so much in my mind. I didn't mean to offend. I have a bad habit of talking without thinking and I was riding my emotions. Again, I'm very sorry.
I've experienced a loss, and I am not offended by what you wrote. In fact at the moment I feel a bit similar. I don't need to think about all of the myriad ways things can go wrong with my little parasite right now. I need to stay positive or I'll go insane. Constant reminders of loss aren't useful for me staying positive, especially when I'm in the thick of it.
Also, it's an unpopular opinion Thursday thread, you let out all those UO's so long as they aren't against the The Bump's TOU.
I'm sorry. I really worried about how it would sound before I posted it and I think I made a mistake. I feel for everyone, I truly do. Before I had posted I had seen something someone posted on Facebook and it had me in tears. And it made me hope and pray nothing happens to my baby. I came over here and saw the UO thread and it was still so much in my mind. I didn't mean to offend. I have a bad habit of talking without thinking and I was riding my emotions. Again, I'm very sorry.
Thank you for apologizing. I just get really defensive because too many of my friends have had still births and miscarriages. Most of the year they're basically told to keep quiet and don't talk about it but it's really important that they realize they aren't alone and their babies aren't being forgotten
I'm sorry. I really worried about how it would sound before I posted it and I think I made a mistake. I feel for everyone, I truly do. Before I had posted I had seen something someone posted on Facebook and it had me in tears. And it made me hope and pray nothing happens to my baby. I came over here and saw the UO thread and it was still so much in my mind. I didn't mean to offend. I have a bad habit of talking without thinking and I was riding my emotions. Again, I'm very sorry.
Thank you for apologizing. I just get really defensive because too many of my friends have had still births and miscarriages. Most of the year they're basically told to keep quiet and don't talk about it but it's really important that they realize they aren't alone and their babies aren't being forgotten
It's just horrific. I skip those threads right now too because I can't even have that in my mind or I'll just lose it. I want to give my love and support to everyone going through such a heartbreak but I just can't let myself open those threads out of self-preservation. It's selfish, I know, but I understand what @amangels2 is trying to say
I'm sorry. I really worried about how it would sound before I posted it and I think I made a mistake. I feel for everyone, I truly do. Before I had posted I had seen something someone posted on Facebook and it had me in tears. And it made me hope and pray nothing happens to my baby. I came over here and saw the UO thread and it was still so much in my mind. I didn't mean to offend. I have a bad habit of talking without thinking and I was riding my emotions. Again, I'm very sorry.
Thank you for apologizing. I just get really defensive because too many of my friends have had still births and miscarriages. Most of the year they're basically told to keep quiet and don't talk about it but it's really important that they realize they aren't alone and their babies aren't being forgotten
It's just horrific. I skip those threads right now too because I can't even have that in my mind or I'll just lose it. I want to give my love and support to everyone going through such a heartbreak but I just can't let myself open those threads out of self-preservation. It's selfish, I know, but I understand what @amangels2 is trying to say
I do understand her intention with the post. My mom suffered 4 miscarriages, my MIL suffered at least 1, my cousin had a still birth due to complications during labor at full term, a friend had twins at 23w5d, one of who died, one of whom is still in the nicu on a respirator. Clearly my family/friends are no stranger to pregnancy loss so I really do sympathize with the idea but I can't bring myself to look at anything about loss at this point because it just exacerbates the fear that is already there.
@joose159@Sgoldberg247 Thank you. I feel so much for those moms and it's so easy to put myself in their place.
If something did happen to my baby, I would want to be able to celebrate him or her as they are able to this month. I don't want to take that away from them.
My UO... I'm seriously worried that I'm gonna have a boy...I only planned on girls in my uterus. I debated not rolling the dice on another pregancy just because I'm nervous it will have a penis and I won't relate. I don't want a boy!!
**Edited for sensitivity...I want a healthy baby of course even if it's a boy. And don't worry, if it does go that way I will give myself just 24 hours to grieve my loss and then I'll jump on the "yay boy" bandwagon.
I feel you. I DESPERATELY want a boy. We have 2 little girls already. I know I should only be concerned with a healthy baby, but I know I will be a little disappointed if we find out #3 is another girl.
I'm sorry. I really worried about how it would sound before I posted it and I think I made a mistake. I feel for everyone, I truly do. Before I had posted I had seen something someone posted on Facebook and it had me in tears. And it made me hope and pray nothing happens to my baby. I came over here and saw the UO thread and it was still so much in my mind. I didn't mean to offend. I have a bad habit of talking without thinking and I was riding my emotions. Again, I'm very sorry.
Thank you for apologizing. I just get really defensive because too many of my friends have had still births and miscarriages. Most of the year they're basically told to keep quiet and don't talk about it but it's really important that they realize they aren't alone and their babies aren't being forgotten
I feel the same way, sort of. Please note I am about to go on a rant and this is not against you! I am just hormonal and need to vent!
I have experienced a loss and I will never be the same. I totally understand not wanting to think of the worst case scenario, especially since it is SO scary, but having a miscarriage was the most isolating thing that's ever happened to me. It makes people so uncomfortable that even the people you thought would be your best supports are telling you that it's just really common and then never talking about it again. It sucks when you feel like you're supposed to keep your baby a secret. I already loved my baby before I lost it and it's devastating not knowing anything about it. I don't even know if it was a boy or girl and it really sucks to have to refer to your baby as "it" for the rest of your life. That's why I hate the "wait till 12 weeks" rule (my UO?), because it implies that if I lose my baby that I'm supposed to keep it a secret. Like, wtf is that? We don't tell people with cancer not to tell anyone until their treatment is over. I digress, but I think what I'm trying to say is that I think these moms just want to world to know that their babies existed and were loved and that they shouldn't have to hide it. It is totally your choice to read or follow them or not, but I think increased awareness in society can only help women feel less isolated and alone.
Rant over. (I feel better for getting that out, so thank you!)
On the subject of miscarriage and loss...I feel awkward as hell announcing my pregnancy to women I know have been TTC for a long time (even though it was almost a year for me too) or those who have suffered losses. I've only told a few people and only a few who have had losses or are TTC (and the latter loss/long TTC group I've told in one-off e-mail conversations where I could).
I'm irritated that someone very close to me told me I shouldn't be telling people I'm pregnant yet. Its my body, H and my baby and I'm only telling people who would (or I thought would) support me in case of a loss.
As a woman who has experienced many losses (MCs) it really effects me to see all of the FB posts on infant loss. Especially now that I'm pregnant again and I'm still in my zone of possible loss. I am not shy in sharing about my losses, however I still keep my pregnancies a secret for a while, and not because I'm not "celebrating" the baby. All my babies are celebrated.
However, I appreciate that this subject is beginning to be talked about more. Especially the stories that let me know how to help those who have experienced losses, especially late losses. I just would have no idea what to say/do for those moms.
UO: People apologizing for things that they meant to do/say. If you make a stupid comment and get flamed for it, own your comment. You may apologize for hurting feelings, or offending people. Please don't call it "out of character." If your comment was made out of ignorance, learn from it and move on. Apologies for PR purposes are insincere and weak.
UO: People apologizing for things that they meant to do/say. If you make a stupid comment and get flamed for it, own your comment. You may apologize for hurting feelings, or offending people. Please don't call it "out of character." If your comment was made out of ignorance, learn from it and move on. Apologies for PR purposes are insincere and weak.
Fake apologies are lame, but I respect it when people admit they're wrong, take ownership and apologize. It's far better, imo, than defending the indefensible even when you know you're wrong. So many people have too much pride to admit wrongdoing and that's annoying.
Fake apologies are lame, but I respect it when people admit they're wrong, take ownership and apologize. It's far better, imo, than defending the indefensible even when you know you're wrong. So many people have too much pride to admit wrongdoing and that's annoying.
I agree that you defending the indefensible is wrong. Learning from mistakes shows growth. My issue is with those who act as if they don't know why they made the comment or that it doesn't represent them. Don't apologize in public today to make a similar comment in private tomorrow.
Re: UO Thursday!
I resent the idea that (generally) women have (insert occasion: wedding, baby) showers and men get to go off and play golf (insert other stereotypical man activity) and drink beer. I would SO always rather be out drinking beer and doing whatever the guys are doing.
Homecoming too???? WTF?!?!?
Asking is fine. But that's the excitement of it all to just be asked. A guy comes up to you in the hallway or passes a note or I guess nowadays a text or instant message but that's it. There is no need for a full blown charade and all the theatrics. They're teenagers! If their "promposal" ends up being such a big production, what the heck will their actual wedding proposal be like?!?
I reached a limit when I saw this headline a while back:
https://www.kboi2.com/news/local/Promposal-defaces-black-cliffs-spray-paint.html?mobile=y
Qbf
If we're talking sauce and cheese, new York all the way (as a new yorker of course) but I am a sucker for deep dish crust
Oh no you didn't!! Hahahaha. Jk I love the PSL but I'm not obsessed. Used to be. I just find it funny because I know a few years ago I would've been so shocked by that UO hahaha.
We had a couples wedding shower with open bar and Sunday football on the tv
Edited to add: this was the only "shower" we had. And it was couples in the sense men and women were both invited...regardless if you were part of a couple or not.
Yes yes @sgoldberg247, you've been to one shower you've been to one too many! I'll gladly give anyone a gift! I just don't need to see it opened!
Me: 33 H: 36
Married: 12/14/13 DS: 1/29/09
BFP2: 10/9/15 MMC: 11/12/15
BFP3: 4/6/16 DD: 12/12/16
My UO. I really can't wait for baby loss month to be over. I totally get it, if you have lost a baby it's terrible and at any other time it wouldn't bother me at all. I don't mean to sound heartless. But right now I am trying desperately hard not to think about what could go wrong and every time I open my Facebook there's another post reminding me.
Me: 33 H: 36
Married: 12/14/13 DS: 1/29/09
BFP2: 10/9/15 MMC: 11/12/15
BFP3: 4/6/16 DD: 12/12/16
ETA quote fail, sorry.
Me: 33 H: 36
Married: 12/14/13 DS: 1/29/09
BFP2: 10/9/15 MMC: 11/12/15
BFP3: 4/6/16 DD: 12/12/16
ETA-punctuation is my friend.
If something did happen to my baby, I would want to be able to celebrate him or her as they are able to this month. I don't want to take that away from them.
I have experienced a loss and I will never be the same. I totally understand not wanting to think of the worst case scenario, especially since it is SO scary, but having a miscarriage was the most isolating thing that's ever happened to me. It makes people so uncomfortable that even the people you thought would be your best supports are telling you that it's just really common and then never talking about it again. It sucks when you feel like you're supposed to keep your baby a secret. I already loved my baby before I lost it and it's devastating not knowing anything about it. I don't even know if it was a boy or girl and it really sucks to have to refer to your baby as "it" for the rest of your life. That's why I hate the "wait till 12 weeks" rule (my UO?), because it implies that if I lose my baby that I'm supposed to keep it a secret. Like, wtf is that? We don't tell people with cancer not to tell anyone until their treatment is over. I digress, but I think what I'm trying to say is that I think these moms just want to world to know that their babies existed and were loved and that they shouldn't have to hide it. It is totally your choice to read or follow them or not, but I think increased awareness in society can only help women feel less isolated and alone.
Rant over. (I feel better for getting that out, so thank you!)
However, I appreciate that this subject is beginning to be talked about more. Especially the stories that let me know how to help those who have experienced losses, especially late losses. I just would have no idea what to say/do for those moms.
Me: 33 H: 36
Married: 12/14/13 DS: 1/29/09
BFP2: 10/9/15 MMC: 11/12/15
BFP3: 4/6/16 DD: 12/12/16