PSA FTM's

JaymeeLH · October 2015

You aren't showing yet. It's called bloating. This question will be asked 100 times over the next 2 weeks, so just refer to this post. Your uterus hasn't even moved up out of your pelvis at this point, I promise it's not the real deal yet.

sorarose · October 2015

JaymeeLH · October 2015

I aim to please @sorarose

queenklau · October 2015

It probably will get asked for the next 5 weeks lol! Bahahaha

JaymeeLH · October 2015

To add to my original statement, I don't care how skinny you were/how flat your stomach was. Believe me, I was there. It's still not a bump. I didn't pop with my daughter until 15 weeks and it wasn't obvious until 20ish weeks.

FutureMrsCAF · October 2015

True dat. Very few of us will really look pregnant before Christmas. We all just need to poop.

anna.oskar · October 2015

But... but... MY fetus is a special little snowflake who shall do everything superior to all the common babies. No way does that bump on my gut have anything to do with the 2 lunches I ate today or the dessert pizza I helped dominate!

Well... my food-baby deserves respect too,

likeabel · October 2015

But no really, it's true! And make sure you suck it in for your early bump photos because it just won't look as impressive when you compare photos in June!

MrsHandler · October 2015

Between complications with OHSS and now pregnancy bloat I already bought maternity paints.. I mean I obviously know its not really a bump but I refused to be uncomfortable Anymore..

JaymeeLH · October 2015

MrsHandler said:
Between complications with OHSS and now pregnancy bloat I already bought maternity paints.. I mean I obviously know its not really a bump but I refused to be uncomfortable Anymore..

Hey you rock those maternity pants, I've been wearing my low panel jeans for days because there's no way this blump is fitting into regular jeans. I just don't feel like dealing with "omgzzzz guise I already have a bump!! 11!!!!1!"

NicknShan · October 2015

I think I may go poop out my blump. Brb.

mrsschmity · October 2015

Seriously though. I just really need to poop. When I first started posting on this board someone mentioned a daily thread for bump pictures...I think it was called HDBD or something like that for Wednesday's? I was like uhhhh, what bump. I can post a pic of my ass for a bump, but other than that I just feel like someone stuck a straw in my belly button and filled it with air.

NicknShan · October 2015

And the part of my stomach that isn't bloat from this pregnancy has leftover saggy skin from my last :-( my skin hated pregnancy. no one wants to see a picture of me wearing a tight shirt against that...

GinnyJ2012 · October 2015

Confession time! With my first I remember calling my mom and saying something like "I'm showing! what is going on? I'm like 7 weeks!" I guess she didn't have the heart to say, "no dear you're just bloated." I did have a very flat stomach, and it looked like a bump. After about a week I remembered that biology doesn't work that way.

Lilwatz · October 2015

I'm somewhat overweight and could easily look 5 months pregnant before we conceived. I'm tempted to just throw on the maternity pants but am worried someone will say, "Oh, when are you due?" and I'll be like, "JUNE." And then it will get real awkward REAL FAST.

JaymeeLH · October 2015

mrsschmity said:
Seriously though. I just really need to poop. When I first started posting on this board someone mentioned a daily thread for bump pictures...I think it was called HDBD or something like that for Wednesday's? I was like uhhhh, what bump. I can post a pic of my ass for a bump, but other than that I just feel like someone stuck a straw in my belly button and filled it with air.

I love HDBD when there's actually bumps to be seen. Nobody wants to see my pouch stm blump right now though. That shit ain't pretty.

mrsschmity · October 2015

JaymeeLH said:
I love HDBD when there's actually bumps to be seen. Nobody wants to see my pouch stm blump right now though. That shit ain't pretty.

I would totally participate if I had something to show other than my blump. But come on man, this is the June board....meaning most of us are no more than what, 6 or 7 weeks? Ain't gonna be no bumps for a while yet.

kaitielynnrichardson · October 2015

Making a mockery out of FTMs that might really not know isn't very nice. I'm a FTM and while I know the difference between bloating and showing... I'm offended that a place that's supposed to be full of positivity and support is bashing FTMs that may have questions.

JaymeeLH · October 2015

kaitielynnrichardson said:
Making a mockery out of FTMs that might really not know isn't very nice. I'm a FTM and while I know the difference between bloating and showing... I'm offended that a place that's supposed to be full of positivity and support is bashing FTMs that may have questions.

Hahaha. You can always try baby center

goldie987 · October 2015

kaitielynnrichardson said:
Making a mockery out of FTMs that might really not know isn't very nice. I'm a FTM and while I know the difference between bloating and showing... I'm offended that a place that's supposed to be full of positivity and support is bashing FTMs that may have questions.

I'm a FTM too and am glad she posted it. I've seen a few bump questions already, the first okay, the 2nd or 3rd, maybe but the 4th or 5th no. Having one thread with a bit of snark is good, it gets attention and answers the question that people have in a fast and (IMO) funny way.

kaitielynnrichardson · October 2015

*Removed Due to TOU Violations*

JaymeeLH · October 2015

**Removed for TOU violation**

Because I've been around this block, and it gets beyond annoying when every other thread is someone else asking if they have a bump yet, and if you do think you have a bump at 7 weeks you don't know enough about biology and how pregnancy works. And I absolutely didn't ask if I had a bump already the first time around because I have common sense. And oh boy bingo! You need to look up what a bully is my dear, I did not attack you or anyone else or make you feel threatened. I merely stated that you may like the atmosphere over there a little better.

adiaz132003 · October 2015

kaitielynnrichardson said:
Making a mockery out of FTMs that might really not know isn't very nice. I'm a FTM and while I know the difference between bloating and showing... I'm offended that a place that's supposed to be full of positivity and support is bashing FTMs that may have questions.

I agree with you in that I was a little wtf at the FTMs comment cause really it's not just FTMs since I'll see posts by STMs saying that they heard you can show earlier with your second so could they be showing already. But I also believe that the should use the search function since it is a very common and annoying question so at this point.... There will be snark

berky84 · October 2015

I'm a FTM. I totally know that my fat belly right now is just a ton of bloat. I'm under no delusions that I'm showing. It's important for other FTMs to know it too but there doesn't need to be the level of snark that is in threads like these. And that doesn't mean I'm not interested in science and am a special snowflake (really stupid term btw), or that I need to find another board that will coddle me. It means that we are all here for support and being rude to one another is not necessary to get information across.

You don't want to read yet another thread about the same topic? Easy. Don't open the thread. The subject line makes it fairly clear what the thread will be about. Or make a thread like this... But check your attitude - you are not some special snowflake who has the right to make someone feel stupid because they don't know what you already do.

JaymeeLH · October 2015

joose159 said:
I'm a FTM. I totally know that my fat belly right now is just a ton of bloat. I'm under no delusions that I'm showing. It's important for other FTMs to know it too but there doesn't need to be the level of snark that is in threads like these. And that doesn't mean I'm not interested in science and am a special snowflake (really stupid term btw), or that I need to find another board that will coddle me. It means that we are all here for support and being rude to one another is not necessary to get information across.

You don't want to read yet another thread about the same topic? Easy. Don't open the thread. The subject line makes it fairly clear what the thread will be about. Or make a thread like this... But check your attitude - you are not some special snowflake who has the right to make someone feel stupid because they don't know what you already do.

Why flood the board with 800 of the same post? You also don't have to read threads or comment on them, it's a 2 way street. This is a public board and just as much as you're entitled to your opinion, as am I. And I'm allowed to state it in any way I so please, allowing of course that I'm not being threatening or being directly derogatory towards specific people (IE a call out). I don't feel the need to be friends or develop a bond with every single person on this board, that would be absurd as there are several hundred. Those who share my feelings, opinions and sense of humor are who I find my support and comfort in.

hgsurvivor · October 2015

I'm a FTM too and I'm not in the least offended by this. it's even about who answers a question nicely or not. I mean before asking here, first I google it, or ask my own doctor. Ultimately no one here is obliged to answer anything, not to mention most of us here aren't experts. We can only share our experiences.

And when it comes to this particular question of the blump, as PP said, it's basic science. If the embryo is only the size of a poppy seed or blueberry, how can you possibly be showing from the actual baby bump? It's a question with a straight forward answer if we just stop to think about it and how science works. So yes, hearing it over and over again gets annoying.

GinnyJ2012 · October 2015

Also when there are a lot of ZOMG am I showing??!? posts, others with serious questions or women who are going through a loss and truly need support get pushed to other pages. I'm not saying you (general you) can't post, but keeping it to one thread is helpful. Same thing with the intros/due dates/symptoms. We have common threads for this.

berky84 · October 2015

**Removed for TOU violation**

JaymeeLH · October 2015

I'm going to leave my conversation with you @joose159 at this, I did not once call anyone an idiot, and by calling me a bitch you're violating the TOU as that's a personal attack. If you choose to feel offended that isn't my problem. You are 100% (and this is a general statement) to not engage on any thread you don't like. You don't have to tell the world that you don't agree with what someone else said, that's what the UO thread is for.

Gwyneddlesliegrace · October 2015

**Removed for TOU violation**

This. I've been on TB & TK for about 9 years. Long before their were birth month clubs and terms like "special snowflake".. These " I'm a second time mom and want everyone to know how snarky I am" posts are just as annoying as the "am I pregnant" posts. Save it for when the real crazy comes out. It reminds me of the new seventh grader who is mean to the 6th grader simply because she can be. Big ol' eye roll over here.

aloha5736 · October 2015

I mean who has the right to say what one can post and what one cannot post? If you don't like the post don't open it LOL...there's no board police. It's annoying that people post the same question I get it, but this is a message board and I'm not going to waste my time correcting everyone's annoyances. If anyone truly believes they can prevent duplicate, over asked questions your fighting an endless battle. So I see the title and I just move on...not interested.

emucoleman · October 2015

You answered a question before I asked it?? HOW COULD YOU BE SO MEAN?!!! At least give me a chance to embarrass myself first!

etr152517 · October 2015

I like @JaymeeLH's thinking. She was being proactive. What a brilliant idea. Some of us came from the TTGP board where there was a beautiful pinned post for anything pregnancy, postpartum etc. Women proactively shared their experiences and FTMs asked questions. Feel free to pop over there and read though it. I think you'll find that it has some incredibly helpful information. Maybe we could benefit from something like that here and it could potentially alleviate some of the same questions being asked multiple times. The more you know right?

goldie987 · October 2015

Ditto to PP, the rational part of me knows you don't look pregnant until 12-16 weeks meaning we're all far too early to see much of anything other than bloatedness. The not rational part of me says but look, maybe that little pudge that wasn't there this morning is actually your super huge poppy seed sized embryo busting out of your pelvis, let's ask people and then look like you don't understand basic biology. Personally, I love this post (as I said before). It's proactive and now when I am further along and convinced I've got a bump, I'll remember it and talk myself out of the idiocy. I didn't take this post as offensive, demeaning, bitchy or any of the other things it's been called. I took it as helpful.

adiaz132003 · October 2015

Just remember ladies that even if we get a little snarky, don't forget that it is not personal, it's meant to lighten things up sometimes because these can get too serious. As far as comments that maybe go too far remember that we don't "know" each other and we don't have to heed any advice givin and we can ignore nasty comments if we want. We are our own women and we are mothers. In the future we will have a lot more to deal with than people on the Internet. Keep your chin up, it's really not a big deal in the end!

Just thought I'd send some good mojo.

JaymeeLH · October 2015

@Sgoldberg247

goldie987 · October 2015

adiaz132003 said:

Just remember ladies that even if we get a little snarky, don't forget that it is not personal, it's meant to lighten things up sometimes because these can get too serious. As far as comments that maybe go too far remember that we don't "know" each other and we don't have to heed any advice givin and we can ignore nasty comments if we want. We are our own women and we are mothers. In the future we will have a lot more to deal with than people on the Internet. Keep your chin up, it's really not a big deal in the end! Just thought I'd send some good mojo.

Also remember that something like 10% of what you say is actually the words that you say, the rest is tone, body language and facial expressions so the tone that one person reads this is is not necessarily the tone that it was meant in. Good thing to keep in mind for all internet exchanges, not just here.

berky84 · October 2015

JaymeeLH said:

I'm going to leave my conversation with you @joose159 at this, I did not once call anyone an idiot, and by calling me a bitch you're violating the TOU as that's a personal attack. If you choose to feel offended that isn't my problem. You are 100% (and this is a general statement) to not engage on any thread you don't like. You don't have to tell the world that you don't agree with what someone else said, that's what the UO thread is for.

I wasn't calling YOU a bitch - it was general. And my initial post wasn't directed specifically at you actually. My second one was because you are the one who responded.

I actually didn't have a problem with how you worded your initial post at all. I was mostly referring to the snark that followed. Having a thread (or many) where experienced mom's can provide some insight is a GREAT idea actually. But everyone needs to chill with the "Oh you think you're a special snowflake" and the "Go to Baby Center then"

JaymeeLH · October 2015

Okay, thank you for the clarification @joose159 I appreciate that. As for the snark, it's just going to happen. Better to happen in a thread basically dedicated to snark than on someone's actual post. And it was a serious suggestion, some people really are looking for the rainbows and butterflies only communities and that really isn't the bump, which is what I love about this place.

berky84 · October 2015

JaymeeLH said:

Okay, thank you for the clarification @joose159 I appreciate that. As for the snark, it's just going to happen. Better to happen in a thread basically dedicated to snark than on someone's actual post. And it was a serious suggestion, some people really are looking for the rainbows and butterflies only communities and that really isn't the bump, which is what I love about this place.

Yeah I get that - snark happens. I am probably the one who needs to get over it. It just feels very passive aggressive to me. I'm the type who will either love being someone's friend or have no problem calling someone a twat. The in between to me is annoying....

Overall I agree with you that this place is so much better than other pregnancy boards I've seen. And like I said, the initial idea behind this thread was a good one.