Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Jamielove2
member
Re: husband & baby shower
If you're inviting men as well, be sure to have something else for them to do other than watch you open baby gifts...the dad isn't the only guy that's not interested in that, believe me. DH was at one of my showers and the men just hung out and drank beer in the other room for most of it.
Obviously this is very important to you. Just continue to express that his support at the shower would mean the world to you and it would be very upsetting if he couldn't attend. The baby isn't going to know either way, so I don't think it's really about the baby at this point. It's about your feelings.
I don't think this is necessary. It's very sexist to assume women are all interested in shower games and gift openings while this will bore the men to tears. If men know they are going to a baby shower, they know what to expect and can decide if that is exciting enough for them, or decline.
As a woman, I am bored to tears st baby showers. I find the games ridiculous and the gift openings boring. No one ever suggests having something else fun to do in order to keep me entertained and occupied.
And because most showers are women-only, as a woman, you probably know what's going to happen there. I know lots of men that have no actual idea what a shower entails until they get to one. DH could not be more interested in and happy with our child but had zero interest in making a registry (aside from the few large items like the carseat, stroller, and crib) and was only at the one shower he attended bc it was at his parents house and we were staying there all weekend, so he had nowhere else to go.
This is also why I think co-ed showers are a bad idea. Half of women don't even want to be there, it's pretty unlikely that men do. Why force it on them.
Anyhoo, 2 pp said some key things. 1. Don't push the issue. It isn't something you should stress over. There are other issues at hand. Maybe speak on it 1 more time, but then leave it alone. 2. Just because he doesn't want to attend the actual party, it does not mean that he isn't excited and the baby isn't the most important thing to him. Please try not to read too much into it. It will only stress you out and you don't need that. Enjoy the festivities and best of luck.
@chiccobeanz I think it's a fairly safe assumption that the OP is referring to a women only shower, but it's nice to see you (once again) scolding everyone like someone gave you a bump police badge.
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
@Jamielove2 are you having an all-women baby shower or a co-ed one? Knowing which one would help us help you!
I'm guessing an educated guess is probably a foreign concept to you, as is deductive reasoning.
DD1 born 11/2014
DD2 born 6/2016
I lurk. I snark. I offer sound advice if you're not BSC. You may not like me. I'm okay with it.
@FinePlacentaPie that's a normal shower where you are from. Not everyone celebrates in the same way despite the rules of etiquette and your sources. Just because people do things differently from you doesn't make them abnormal. People have different cultures and thereally are regional differences. I really cannot fathom how people can only see things one way when so many other things are factors . But to each her own. I guess that's as mind boggling to me as people not following what you feel to be set in stone etiquette is to you.
Anyways, OP, just do what you and your dh feel is natural. I had an all women shower, technically, but my father and father in law attended. Also, my dh attended and participated, and enjoyed doing so. He wanted to be a part of it and be included. That just depends on your dh and his personality. If he doesn't want to go, no big deal.
Jamie
I lurk. I snark. I offer sound advice if you're not BSC. You may not like me. I'm okay with it.
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