I'm having another girl. I knew it was a girl because my symptoms were the same. I had no appetite and fatigue in the first trimester. I hope to having a boy someday but there is nothing better than having a sister! They'll be 16 months apart =O
Good luck to you! My husband wants ours to be 18 months apart because that's how he and his brother are. I'm like man can you let me have this one before you start talking about putting another one in there? I've been SO sick with this baby, I can't imagine being like this while I already had a little one!
I completely agree with @ecwk on this. It's an emotional thing to find out the sex of your baby and I had to take a couple of days to adjust when our scan showed something different than what I was thinking. It's all so normal. I know you have fears about having a girl since you had your boy and had time to love him first, but trust me when I say, girls are wonderful too. And the baby is more than her sex. She is a little individual that will blossom and grow as the weeks, months, and years roll by. And she will be yours and you won't regret anything. So for now....let yourself feel what you feel. It's normal. It's part of the process. It's new and scary.
And for everyone else. This should be a place of a little less judgement. Let's support each other and not tear each other down.
15 weeks. Found out we are having a girl and I have been bawling since we already have a boy and didn't want a girl at all, but I'm sure we'll be happy on delivery day. I had no issue with sickness with my son, but have been miserable since this one was conceived lol
Hey it is OK to be disappointed at first when you find out gender, it's actually called gender disappointment and happens to a lot more people then we want to admit. This in no way means you will not love your baby, and I do see that you said that. I'm sorry some are jumping on your for your honesty. This is a place where all us mother and fathers come to share our fears, thoughts, news, excitements, and disappointments we should be accepting and try to be helpful with words of encouragement to those maybe struggling with ANY kind of issue. This is somewhere I'd like to think of as a "safe place" to share our true feelings without getting jumped all over like we are back in high school. If it's something you don't agree with maybe true voicing your opinion in a helpful way rather than in a way that puts someone down or makes them feel bad for feeling the way their feeling however it may be. Plus remember we all have tons of crazy hormones going through us right now. I'd just really like to believe that if I'm ever struggling with a problem or disappointment that maybe isn't something popular or socially correct to say that everyone in this group would be there to help me get through it and find my way out of it.
Here is an article on gender disappointment that will show you what you are feeling can be perfectly normal and that you will get over it. Remember right now there is so much focus on baby being a boy or a girl. But, when you hold that baby it won't be just a boy or a girl that will be your baby and you won't be able to imagine him or her being any other way. Good luck!
I'm having another girl. I knew it was a girl because my symptoms were the same. I had no appetite and fatigue in the first trimester. I hope to having a boy someday but there is nothing better than having a sister! They'll be 16 months apart =O
Good luck to you! My husband wants ours to be 18 months apart because that's how he and his brother are. I'm like man can you let me have this one before you start talking about putting another one in there? I've been SO sick with this baby, I can't imagine being like this while I already had a little one!
It sucks, but is doable. Remember, just because you are sick with this one, doesn't mean you will be next time. Either way, if you decide for another, you can do it!
I completely agree with @ecwk on this. It's an emotional thing to find out the sex of your baby and I had to take a couple of days to adjust when our scan showed something different than what I was thinking. It's all so normal. I know you have fears about having a girl since you had your boy and had time to love him first, but trust me when I say, girls are wonderful too. And the baby is more than her sex. She is a little individual that will blossom and grow as the weeks, months, and years roll by. And she will be yours and you won't regret anything. So for now....let yourself feel what you feel. It's normal. It's part of the process. It's new and scary.
And for everyone else. This should be a place of a little less judgement. Let's support each other and not tear each other down.
It is emotional to find out the sex and feeling a bit disappointed or needing time to adjust can be normal. I don't think anyone is arguing that. But saying you and your DH didn't want a certain sex at all is just not normal. I'm sorry but it's not. It's that wording that is so jarring to people, surely you can understand that? I can't know what that person was thinking but in my opinion, that is extremely excessive and it can be very offensive to people who have struggled to conceive at all or gone through losses, etc. That someone could so easily say they never wanted a girl at all when all some people want is to conceive, let alone get a healthy baby at the end, regardless of sex. And I think saying "it's just hormones" is a cop out, hormones might make you cry over irrational things but they didn't make you NEVER want a girl. Hopefully it was stupid wording on OPs part and her and her husband love their healthy little girl as much as they would had she been a son.
As far as telling people to be more supportive/less judgmental... you can't dictate how people respond. No one is violating the TOU and this is a pretty heated topic. Even though you may not like the way some people responded, everyone has the opportunity to post how they feel. This is a topic that is always going to to have differing opinions and some people are going to react differently than how you think or want them too. Such is life.
We found out at 18 weeks we are having a GIRL! Which is secretly what I wanted all along. I had dreams I was having a girl but all old wives tales/charts said boy. Just goes to show not to listen to those old wives tales lol we are over the moon with excitement even my fiance is excited he can't wait to have his little girl in his arms. (:
Just to clarify @GraciesMom189 I think you might have misquoted me. I didn't say the thing in the quote box. My stance is actually that it is not uncommon to experience a little disappointment but what the poster in question said was offensive and I feel bad for her little baby girl. Also, as pp mentioned, we can say what we want within the bounds of the TOU.
So we find out hopefully a week from today what we're having! And we are both just so excited we couldn't actually care less as long as this baby is healthy and well.
On the whole disappointment thing. It kind of sucks being the kid your parents were disappointed about. I have 2 older sisters. The oldest was a planned baby, the other and I, not so much. In fact, I was conceived despite birth control, a vasectomy, and uterine fibroids, which all made my mom's doctor very confident she would not have any more babies after my middle sister, which she was thrilled with. They got pregnant with me. They wanted a boy. Only a boy. My mother cried for days. I was a medical marvel (shoutout to Ross Geller)! And yet, my mother told me constantly growing up that if we had been boys, she wouldn't have had to put her life and education on hold. We would be all independent.
Parents, don't be bitter and disappointed. Don't do it. Its not good for your babies. Love your daughters, love your sons, love all the babies.
@2goofykids - It really sucks that you had to go through that, and I'm glad that you have a better perspective! i hope your appointment next week is awesome!
We find out next Wednesday! I am so excited! I don't care what he/she is, just healthy and happy of course! The strange thing is, I have had a very strong feeling it's a boy and have felt this way from the beginning. So weird! Anyone else feel this way? Won't I feel silly if it's a girl haha.
We never, ever wanted a boy. Then found out our second was a boy, after swaying, dieting, all the girl tricks. We wanted a sister for our daughter. Hubby got over it quickly, but I despised feeling him move, took no pictures the pregnancy, did no shopping, no naming. Then I delivered him at home, into my own hands. Now we have two "pairs" and this is the tie breaker. My kids all want a girl, but Hubby and I don't care either way, at all. Honestly, I adore my boys and my girls, equally. But gender disappointment is very real, and very common. Most women suffer in silence, but some of us own it and let others know there is nothing wrong with them. There is a site that deals in Gender/ Sex disappointment. Look up in gender.
Sorry to misquote you. I am pretty computer savvy yet I find this board very difficult to navigate. It's so hard for me to find replies to topics I've commented on or when people quote me. Anyway....I just wanted to support this mother. I am not stopping anyone from having their own opinions or speaking their minds. But this woman is going through something and her choice of words were very poor. I agree with that. I want all mothers to want their babies. I hope she doesn't truly feel that way! I know my baby boy is extremely wanted and loved already but I had fears about what was different and unknown when I had my elective gender scan. And a couple of days later, I was completely thrilled and excited. I believe she is experiencing an emotional reaction and needs a little support. That's all I was trying to say.
Just to clarify @GraciesMom189 I think you might have misquoted me. I didn't say the thing in the quote box. My stance is actually that it is not uncommon to experience a little disappointment but what the poster in question said was offensive and I feel bad for her little baby girl. Also, as pp mentioned, we can say what we want within the bounds of the TOU.
Since the day I found out I was pregnant we thought it was a girl just parental instinct and the way I wa feeling. 16 weeks and the ultrasound proved out hunch was right. We are thrilled to be having a baby girl. I can't wait to meet her. I think based on the ultrasound and her profile she's going to look like her daddy.
I am so glad you posted this, I wanted a boy and didn't feel anything when I found out I was having a girl and that made me feel bad that I wasn't super happy or excited. It's really nice to know that everyone out there is always feeling great about everything with their pregnancy.
I'm having a boy (found out with 14 wks us, confirmed with 17 wks)almost everybody (me included) thought it was going to be a girl. I was like ooooh...really, but didn't care at all, because i really was having a baby, that's all that matters. I understand that when you want a baby, try to make one, and get pregnant like you do your shopping (from te list, quick and easy), it maybe can feel a bit disappointed not "getting what you want" as if there was only pepsi coke in store and no coca cola anymore. But when you experienced differently, and were on the edge of (?) accepting you are never ever going to have a baby at all, it's very hard to understand things like this. Maybe it's said to easy, but please think of what you have (or are getting) instead of thinking what you're not have or getting. I know there are a lot of women out there wanting to take your place...Good luck with your struggle, hope you are going to be a happy mom....
We found out we were having a boy at 16 weeks. I was excited to see the baby moving, but was definitely disappointed a little. I just had a girl pictured in my head. Today at 17 weeks I had a bleeding scare. Everything is fine, but it definitely reminded me how much I love and want this baby, regardless of the sex!
I am 17w2d and a FTM! We had a doctors appointment with the OBGYN yesterday and asked for an ultrasound but he said unfortunately no because the insurance wouldn't cover it. SO he told us about some novelty places that give 3D/4D ultrasounds to find out the sex! He said unfortunately they cost $200-300. My hubby looked at me and smiled!! I just knew he would do something crazy so he made an appointment that night to find out the sex!! We are excited to announce we are having a beautiful baby girl!!!! We both wanted a girl so badly and he literally jumped for joy screaming "yes! Yes! Yes!" (If you or your DH watch WWE you understand the reference) when the sonographer said we were expecting a girl. oh by the way we did not even have to pay $200 because TheBump sent us an email special of $99 for Stork Vision and we got pictures, a cd and a dvd of the baby ultrasound! It was such a great deal!
This Saturday we will find out super excited and don't matter if it's a girl or boy We will learn with a gender reveal cake I am at 18w so I guess Doctor is pretty sure otherwise it will be so funny. Well congrats for you about your little girls and boys have a safe healthy months ladies!
Our anatomy scan is in 2 weeks and I feel so positive we're having a girl. I already have b/g twins so just hoping for a healthy baby, but I can't shake this feeling that this baby is definitely a girl. I know it's silly because there is literally a 50/50 chance. My daughter has been walking around telling everyone all about her baby sister. I told my husband I'd bet a million dollars it's a girl. (Good thing we're not millionaires in case I'm wrong) We can't wait to find out!
15 weeks. Found out we are having a girl and I have been bawling since we already have a boy and didn't want a girl at all, but I'm sure we'll be happy on delivery day. I had no issue with sickness with my son, but have been miserable since this one was conceived lol
Uhhhhh.... If u "didn't want a girl at all" then maybe u should've adopted. Did you not realize u had a 50/50 chance of having a girl? Ur blessed with having a healthy baby, so I'm finding it hard to muster any pity for anyone other than ur unwanted daughter. ETA: before anyone else comes in with saying "gender disappointment is real," please please consider the cold hard fact that saying "I did not want a girl at all" goes WAY beyond "gender disappointment"
Wow, hearing some of these stories about parents who were resentful of the "wrong" gender child, or pregnant women who resented every kick after finding out that their baby was the "wrong" gender is shocking to me. Although gender disappointment can feel devastating and very real in the moment, I always assumed that anyone experiencing it would realize how irrational it was, and that the effects would be short-lived. That is how my gender disappointment was, at least, so my posts on this subject have all come from that perspective. Anything beyond a temporary emotional response certainly is not ok, and warrants counseling. I mean, to still be so upset about it even well after the child is born is just unbelievable.
Found out today baby number 4 is a boy! Three girls, one boy, and our family is now complete (it was anyways... We're getting too old and tired to have more). I was pretty sure it was going to be another girl, because why wouldn't it be. Baking soda test said girl, Mayan chart said girl, ramzi and Chinese both said boy...
And boy he is! I've been crying all afternoon, I'm so happy!
PSA never tell your kids you resented them at any point in time for any reason. My mom had me when she was young and she told me when I left for college she told me she resented me when I was born because she felt like I stole her life from her. Obviously she knows that it wasn't my fault, but it still hurt really badly to hear. Now that I am pregnant with a daughter of my own I constantly worry about the things I will say and how it will affect her.
With that being said, this is my first baby and I was hopeful for a girl. My nephew lives with my parents and I just didn't want to have to compete. I told my husband I would be upset if I found out the baby was a boy and then I cried because I felt HORRIBLE for feeling that way about my child. I literally felt like an ungrateful B word and I hated that I could not change the way I felt. Fortunately for us our baby is A. healthy and B. a girl so I did not have to experience the gender disappointment. Even if it has been a boy, I would never say some of the things that have been said here. We tried to have a healthy baby, we did not try to have a daughter. It really bothers me that some people would choose to reproduce knowing they only want a specific sex.
Lesson learned from this thread - mentally prepare yourself for either sex, at least as best as you can. Our anatomy scan is in 2 weeks, we'll find out then. I think it's a boy, DH thinks it's a girl, and jokingly says if it's a girl when she's 13 he's going to teasingly tell her I thought she was a boy (again, he's just joking...I hope). I think because I think it's a boy I'm kind of hoping it is, because that's what I've been envisioning, but I'm also making myself imagine having a girl and will be happy with a healthy baby, boy or girl.
On a side note, the doctors originally told my mom they thought I was a boy and instead I definitely was a girl at birth! Though, to be fair they did say they weren't 100% sure.
@ddjay315 There is nothing wrong with wanting or envisioning your child to be a certain sex!! I think the strong reactions come when people act as though there is no OTHER possibility - as if it weren't a 50/50 shot. And again, nothing wrong with a gender disappointment. I think everyone here can acknowledge that it's a real thing. But gender disappointment and gender DEVESTATION are two very different things and the latter is the one that commanded the visceral reactions.
For us, a boy would be easier. We'd have tons of hand-me-downs from my BIL and SIL, we already have a name picked out (can't agree on anything for a girl) and I know it's what Dh is rooting for. However, when we decided to have a child it's not as if we tried to conceive a "son," we tried to conceive a baby with no thoughts either way.
ETA: we just want a sticky, healthy baby. The rest is icing on the cake.
You know, I think this is a really good parenting lesson in general, to be aware of our expectations for our children and not let those interfere with our ability to connect with and parent the actual child we end up getting.
I think it's easy when they're literally inside our own body, to maybe have difficulty viewing them as an individual person. But even if you get a baby with the anatomy you're hoping for, that really doesn't mean much. As many previous posters have pointed out, some boys are quiet and artistic, some girls (MINE!) are crazy and rambunctious and sporty. It's natural to have hopes and dreams for our children, but I think it's always a good idea to remind ourselves that our children might be nothing like the fantasy or vision that we have.
Fundamentalist Christian families have children who come out as gay. Families who value higher education and dream of Ivy League University for their little bundle of joy might find themselves with a child who is learning disabled or special needs. My husband really wants my oldest to play the drums and even went as far as buying her a Jr Drum set (much to my surprise, grr) and she has absolutely no interest in it (luckily the toddler has fallen in love with the drums, but still.) On so many levels our children may surprise us by being the polar opposite of what we hope and dream for, and we still have to put on our big girl panties and be a loving and nurturing parent to the child we HAVE, not the child we'd HOPED FOR. And I think that gender disappointment can be a good first lesson for some parents.
You know, I think this is a really good parenting lesson in general, to be aware of our expectations for our children and not let those interfere with our ability to connect with and parent the actual child we end up getting.
I think it's easy when they're literally inside our own body, to maybe have difficulty viewing them as an individual person. But even if you get a baby with the anatomy you're hoping for, that really doesn't mean much. As many previous posters have pointed out, some boys are quiet and artistic, some girls (MINE!) are crazy and rambunctious and sporty. It's natural to have hopes and dreams for our children, but I think it's always a good idea to remind ourselves that our children might be nothing like the fantasy or vision that we have.
Fundamentalist Christian families have children who come out as gay. Families who value higher education and dream of Ivy League University for their little bundle of joy might find themselves with a child who is learning disabled or special needs. My husband really wants my oldest to play the drums and even went as far as buying her a Jr Drum set (much to my surprise, grr) and she has absolutely no interest in it (luckily the toddler has fallen in love with the drums, but still.) On so many levels our children may surprise us by being the polar opposite of what we hope and dream for, and we still have to put on our big girl panties and be a loving and nurturing parent to the child we HAVE, not the child we'd HOPED FOR. And I think that gender disappointment can be a good first lesson for some parents.
Slow clap for stating this so well!!! Wish I could love it 20 times. =D>
I found out at 14 weeks and 6 days that I'm having a little boy. I already have my perfect princess so now I'll have my perfect son. My mom and I both had a feeling that this was a little girl so we were surprised when the nurse said "it's a boy!!!" My mom just hollered out excitedly "really?!?" I cried like a little baby. No shame. Lol. My daughter has been telling me she wants a little brother so we are all getting exactly what we wished for. To be honest, I would've been happy either way. As long as the baby is healthy. But I'm very excited to finally be having my sweet little boy. Now time just needs to fly by so he can be here. Lol. I'm 15 weeks now so I've still got a long long way to go. Congratulations to everyone!!
I felt girl all along. At my 16 week ultrasound my OB said boy. I didn't feel disappointed just confused and then excited! Fast forward to 3 weeks later, I had a bleeding scare. The relief I felt when they told me everything was alright was unbelievable. I was about to get off the table when the Dr was like and congrats it looks like a girl! I still really couldn't care but the night before I said to my husband "how funny would it be if at the anatomy scan they see its a girl?!" We have our 4D scan on Tuesday. Hoping everything checks out well with the little one and maybe we can put an end to the in utero gender confusion
We just found out we're having a BOY and I admit I did feel a twinge of disappointment: I really wanted my daughter to have a sister and this is our last kiddo. But then the tech spent a ton of time looking at his kidneys and the desire for this baby to be healthy overwhelmed any sadness about "what ifs". Turns out he's perfect and my daughter is going to have a little brother and it's going to be great.
PSA never tell your kids you resented them at any point in time for any reason. My mom had me when she was young and she told me when I left for college she told me she resented me when I was born because she felt like I stole her life from her. Obviously she knows that it wasn't my fault, but it still hurt really badly to hear. Now that I am pregnant with a daughter of my own I constantly worry about the things I will say and how it will affect her.
With that being said, this is my first baby and I was hopeful for a girl. My nephew lives with my parents and I just didn't want to have to compete. I told my husband I would be upset if I found out the baby was a boy and then I cried because I felt HORRIBLE for feeling that way about my child. I literally felt like an ungrateful B word and I hated that I could not change the way I felt. Fortunately for us our baby is A. healthy and B. a girl so I did not have to experience the gender disappointment. Even if it has been a boy, I would never say some of the things that have been said here. We tried to have a healthy baby, we did not try to have a daughter. It really bothers me that some people would choose to reproduce knowing they only want a specific sex.
That's tough to hear and I am so sorry. I constantly tell myself and my husband I never want to be unemotionally disconnected like my parents were growing up. Granted, that's how they were raised and I accept that, but they never encouraged my brothers or me a lot or praised us a lot for things. I am over it now lol but I always say I want to be the complete opposite of that with my kids.
It's a Boy!!!! I thought for sure it was going to be a girl, so a little bit of a shock. But we're so excited to welcome little Anthony James to our family
This is my second pregnancy and it's a boy this time I had a feeling it was a boy from the beginning, sooooo different than my last pregnancy. I was kind of neutral on the topic while my husband was rooting for a boy and my 3yo daughter "knew" it was a girl from the day we told her. I was a bit worried about her reaction when we had our appointment but she was so excited! We already have the baby swing and a few toys taking up waaaay too much room in our living room so she can "practice being gentle with her baby brother". Oh, and she has named him Clifford "even though he's not a big red dog, it's so a great name for a baby." Haha.
We found out this morning that we are having a girl!!! After two boys, and being certain this one would be another boy, my DH and I are both still in shock! I cried happy tears, and my DH couldn't stop saying, "Wow!" I'm so very happy! But we only had a boy name picked out...good thing we have until March to talk about girls names!!
Re: Reveal if your having a boy or girl! Was it what you thought/ hoped for?
And for everyone else. This should be a place of a little less judgement. Let's support each other and not tear each other down.
Hey it is OK to be disappointed at first when you find out gender, it's actually called gender disappointment and happens to a lot more people then we want to admit. This in no way means you will not love your baby, and I do see that you said that. I'm sorry some are jumping on your for your honesty. This is a place where all us mother and fathers come to share our fears, thoughts, news, excitements, and disappointments we should be accepting and try to be helpful with words of encouragement to those maybe struggling with ANY kind of issue. This is somewhere I'd like to think of as a "safe place" to share our true feelings without getting jumped all over like we are back in high school. If it's something you don't agree with maybe true voicing your opinion in a helpful way rather than in a way that puts someone down or makes them feel bad for feeling the way their feeling however it may be. Plus remember we all have tons of crazy hormones going through us right now. I'd just really like to believe that if I'm ever struggling with a problem or disappointment that maybe isn't something popular or socially correct to say that everyone in this group would be there to help me get through it and find my way out of it.
Here is an article on gender disappointment that will show you what you are feeling can be perfectly normal and that you will get over it. Remember right now there is so much focus on baby being a boy or a girl. But, when you hold that baby it won't be just a boy or a girl that will be your baby and you won't be able to imagine him or her being any other way. Good luck!
https://www.babble.com/pregnancy/overcoming-gender-disappointment/
It sucks, but is doable. Remember, just because you are sick with this one, doesn't mean you will be next time. Either way, if you decide for another, you can do it!
On the whole disappointment thing. It kind of sucks being the kid your parents were disappointed about. I have 2 older sisters. The oldest was a planned baby, the other and I, not so much. In fact, I was conceived despite birth control, a vasectomy, and uterine fibroids, which all made my mom's doctor very confident she would not have any more babies after my middle sister, which she was thrilled with. They got pregnant with me. They wanted a boy. Only a boy. My mother cried for days. I was a medical marvel (shoutout to Ross Geller)! And yet, my mother told me constantly growing up that if we had been boys, she wouldn't have had to put her life and education on hold. We would be all independent.
Parents, don't be bitter and disappointed. Don't do it. Its not good for your babies. Love your daughters, love your sons, love all the babies.
I understand that when you want a baby, try to make one, and get pregnant like you do your shopping (from te list, quick and easy), it maybe can feel a bit disappointed not "getting what you want" as if there was only pepsi coke in store and no coca cola anymore. But when you experienced differently, and were on the edge of (?) accepting you are never ever going to have a baby at all, it's very hard to understand things like this. Maybe it's said to easy, but please think of what you have (or are getting) instead of thinking what you're not have or getting. I know there are a lot of women out there wanting to take your place...Good luck with your struggle, hope you are going to be a happy mom....
Uhhhhh.... If u "didn't want a girl at all" then maybe u should've adopted. Did you not realize u had a 50/50 chance of having a girl? Ur blessed with having a healthy baby, so I'm finding it hard to muster any pity for anyone other than ur unwanted daughter. ETA: before anyone else comes in with saying "gender disappointment is real," please please consider the cold hard fact that saying "I did not want a girl at all" goes WAY beyond "gender disappointment"
And boy he is! I've been crying all afternoon, I'm so happy!
Me: 29 DH: 31
Married 10/13/12
TTC Since 8/2016
Our anatomy scan is in 2 weeks, we'll find out then. I think it's a boy, DH thinks it's a girl, and jokingly says if it's a girl when she's 13 he's going to teasingly tell her I thought she was a boy
On a side note, the doctors originally told my mom they thought I was a boy and instead I definitely was a girl at birth! Though, to be fair they did say they weren't 100% sure.
@ddjay315 There is nothing wrong with wanting or envisioning your child to be a certain sex!! I think the strong reactions come when people act as though there is no OTHER possibility - as if it weren't a 50/50 shot. And again, nothing wrong with a gender disappointment. I think everyone here can acknowledge that it's a real thing. But gender disappointment and gender DEVESTATION are two very different things and the latter is the one that commanded the visceral reactions.
For us, a boy would be easier. We'd have tons of hand-me-downs from my BIL and SIL, we already have a name picked out (can't agree on anything for a girl) and I know it's what Dh is rooting for. However, when we decided to have a child it's not as if we tried to conceive a "son," we tried to conceive a baby with no thoughts either way.
ETA: we just want a sticky, healthy baby. The rest is icing on the cake.
Me: 29 DH: 31
Married 10/13/12
TTC Since 8/2016
DS2 due 12/12/18
Amelia, my sweet little rainbow baby born March 4, 2016