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December 2015 Moms
stephaniechen82
member
Due Dec 25th, Mom is giving me grief?!
stephaniechen82
member
I don't know if anyone else's family is obsessed with Christmas, but mine is. For quite some time now, they have known our planned c-section will be within days of Christmas. Upon reminding my mother of this, she asked if I could do it after...because "what about Christmas!?" i thought it was obvious that the holidays were basically a wash for us, but I can't believe her stance on it. Especially because I was hoping to have her there to help me during my hospital stay. You would think this was more important....
Anyone else dealing with the holiday drama?
Re: Due Dec 25th, Mom is giving me grief?!
It seems like you've already done this as you have the c section scheduled. Could you maybe plan a second Christmas with her either before or after the big day? Give her another date to focus on?
It's not worth it to stress over, although I would think of a backup plan for help in case your mom really won't be available after your c-section. Sorry you are dealing with this.
Is there a reason you needed her at the hospital with you?
Now my c-sect is planned for the 21st so with any luck I'll be home Xmas eve- I told my fam they were welcome to visit so long as they brought food & left when I asked them to. DH will be taking our son to his moms Christmas Day for a few hours & I'm looking forward to being home alone with the baby, frankly.
Maybe just tell them how you feel & that the pressure doesn't help a thing!
Maybe she's unaware of how much her being there would mean to you?
I'm due on the 4th, and she says "ok, we'll be out on the 7th...she'll be three days old at that point."
"But mom, it's an estimate, I could be early or two weeks late."
"Well, if we come much later, it's getting too close to Christmas." (She wants to be back in the Midwest for her white Christmas).
But I know if they get here and she's not born I'll here the "we flew all the way out here..." speech.
Dios mio!
I think I want the baby here more then anyone, but really, can't he come when he's ready. I think she was joking, but there's a kernnal of truth in every joke!
Also my SIL asked what we were doing for Christmas because she's hosting at her house. My husband responded with "We'll be in the hospital..having a baby." Ya you go DH!
But other than that no one has really nagged at me.
My 1st LO was born Dec 22nd ... First day home was Xmas Eve. My mother (and father) showed up first thing in the morning Xmas day all dressed up and all perfumed with pots & pans to cook in my kitchen & start a party.
We specifically told her to call first & it would be later in the day. I was running on no sleep & right in the middle of pumping, quietly chatting with my DH, and then her comes the crazy. I cried in my room for a half hour before gathering myself and coming out. My LO slept all morning, after being up all night, while I had to entertain.
This time I'm due Christmas Eve (apparently I'm only fertile in March). Looks like we may be induced early around the 18th and we have kept this to ourselves. We asked family to fly in around the 21st / 22nd so we'd have time to settle ... Somehow my family must see right through me and went ahead and scheduled to fly in the 17th ... Without mentioning it to me.
I totally get the stress of it all. I sincerely hope I remember this when my DD grows up and has babies!!
However, my cousins are giving me grief since I told them my DH and I will not be participating in their gift exchange. I am very much looking forward to getting presents for my sisters and brother, but I could care less about my cousins. I told them nicely but they are very upset about it. (FYI, I have 24 cousins plus 4 in laws.) It is getting ridiculous and I really am learning to shrug it off.
It actually infuriates me. My mother has always been like this and now I know she is not the only one. It's sad really ... And as I said above, I sure hope I don't somehow forget all of this and create grief for my DD when she becomes a mommy!
I hope it all works itself out in the end.
My family knows that my husband, three kids and I will most likely not be attending either the Christmas gathering or the New Years gathering. Both sides of our family said that was understandable and that they would drop off the kids gifts.
I figure my grandmother may steal the kids for the party to get them out of the house, but it hasn't been mentioned....yet.
WTF, Mom.
I said, that's the day im probably coming home post c section. No, I'm not making a turkey, are you crazy?!
She realized her mistake. Lol. Make a turkey....
DS2: EDD- 09.08.17
I dont see how thats true as I am not expecting them to stay up with the baby, look after the baby or cancel any plans. In fact hubby and I are planning on hiding away for 2 weeks after our LO is born.
Mil's throwing a party 10 days before my EDD to celebrate 1 year of her new life. She had a life saving transplant last December which we are really grateful for.
First she wanted to go on a family trip, but when we told her we couldn't come she changed the plan to a party so we could be there. I thought it was going to be at her house but it's not. It's at a really nice place like 30 mins away in a small town. There's a bodega and tour and wine tasting followed by a cocktail party or dinner. It's like an all day thing. DH told her we most likely won't be able to come since I'll be 9 months pregnant, uncomfortable, and not in the condition to be anywhere but home. She said she'd move it up a week, which really wouldn't make a difference so we said no. She's not really understanding about it which is hard for me to understand. I mean, does she not remember what it was like?
She literally told me that LO can't be born before her party because we have to at least be at the party since she had to cancel the family trip because of us... Really? Who in their right mind would expect a pregnant woman to go out of town with them 10 days before her EDD?
If my daughter is anything like me she'll make her grand entrance the day before the party!
Me:34 DH:41 1 son: 6 2 step sons: 18, 12
BFP: 4/24/08 - Missed Miscarriage found 5/29/08
BFP: 11/21/08 - DS born 7/13/09
BFP:5/8/14 - Chemical pregnancy
BFP: 4/11/15....stick baby stick!!!
ETA: both my mom and my stepdad were appalled at what his brother said.
Jamie
I tend to like my stepdad's brother, but he is clueless about birth and recovery, and it was a jackass thing to say. He is over 50 years old and never been married. He has one daughter, who is 5 years old, but I don't think he was even involved with her mother when she had her (broke up before then).
Jamie
Haven't quite worked out who is coming when for Christmas. I don't want both families up at the same time as that will be too overwhelming for me. My mum has said not to worry about a thing, she will do the shopping, cooking and cleaning.
We made it clear very early that we would not be traveling (even though it's only 2 hours away) for Christmas with a 2 week or younger newborn. We will be trying to settle and get into a schedule, in the awkward early breastfeeding phase and just want to be in our own home.
You've said that you are due on Christmas, but that the baby will be 2 weeks old on Christmas?
We still don't have our daughter out anywhere past her bedtime, which is 7:30pm and she's 2. We wouldn't be doing a midnight Mass for a long time, if that's what you are referring to.
Jamie
My MIL has been known to throw empty, rash threats like that when she's not getting her way (Example: DH and I bought a dog shortly after we got engaged. Since we didn't run this decision past her first she called everyone in both of our families up and said she would not be attending our engagement party and possibly the wedding. This was made doubly ridiculous by the fact we weren't living with her, he was independent of her financially and the purchase of the dog impacted her life not at all.).
You guys are all saints for dealing with this nonsense and family drama. I guess because my family grew up overseas or half the country away from everyone else we all learned it was the time together and not the exact date that made something like Christmas or Thanksgiving special. Sure, Christmas is fun and no one wants to miss out but things come up sometimes that are more important (like labor, or a newborn). Maybe tell folks if it is that important to them for you to be involved then they should do a smaller version of Christmas a week or so earlier than planned )or later, depending on when you are due and your comfort levels). That way everyone can do a small gift exchange and still eat, drink and be merry. If not, screw them.
It is THEIR choice and attitude that is making the holiday miserable and stressful, not yours. I'm sure you didn't check your calendar, look over at DH eight months ago and say, "You know, if we have sex right now we can really f&$@! up everyone's holiday plans!"