International Bumpies
GalLaura
member
Expat sadness
GalLaura
member
Anyone move "permanently" to be with their SO? My DH is Australian, I moved almost 3 years ago here to be with him. In hindsight, I was very naive to make the move. I left behind close family, tons of friends and an amazing job. I said that I would try it here but we got pregnant right away. I love him very much but want to go home. He doesn't want to live in America. I'm pregnant with #2 now. I'm filled with so much grief and homesickness at the moment. Anyone in a similar predicament? How did you cope?
Re: Expat sadness
I'm staying homesick so much due to LO now. I'm still coping and taking one day at a time. I keep in touch with friends via fb and use Skype or FaceTime with family when the time is good for both of us. It's hard and I'm trying. But my SO wants a second and I'm really leaning toward having a pet instead. Pregnancy and birth were hard enough (surprise c-section) in a hospital with no English support and then the ppd and lack of help after have been just too much for me.
Somee asian cultures can be a tight bubble, often with double standards, so I really feel for you @MommyMoru - hang in there.
Something's that I have found especially with being pregnant is its actually a great way to meet and cut through some cultural boundaries. Everyone loves a baby! Or so it seems. Try on Facebook or a website called meetup if you live in a city I am sure they have a group or even a site called internations. These might help to make connection especially with other mums.
I think sown times when you miss family it's because we miss people we can just be ourselves with and don't feel ashamed to ask for help. Seek out other expats they will have the same experiences and be each other's family.
As I said I can relate to the overseas part but I am so used to missing family and home is all over so it impacts me less but I hope some of those ideas work. It's the worst feeling to hate where you live or to miss another place. The best advice though is to through yourself into life where you are at least you can say you really gave it a go if you ever realise you really need to leave.
All the best with your pregnancy
I'm an expat, but by choice, and although I miss my friends and family, I know that my experience is a unique one and I need to make the most of it.
Good luck to you!
Ultimately we want to find a place to settle down between our two home countries where we are both happy, and a good environment for the kids to grow up. Could you and DH try and do sth like this? Taking turns living in each other's respective countries?
I'm happy I found a forum where others can relate.
DH and I are planning to have our first child in Korea next year, where my folks still reside. I've been based in NYC for the past 5years due to school, then work, then being with DH. As much as I enjoy the convenience I miss my family a lot - the opposite issue of yours. It's the main reason I've decided I want to head to my folks early in the last trimester so I can share this precious time with my mom and have them there the first few months with baby.
I know I'll miss the convenience of NYC (like you mentioned) if I were to live in Korea, but the homesickness is getting worse as time goes by. DH says he can work towards traveling to Asia several times a year but isn't entirely convinced about living there. So far we are still planning to purchase a home in NY/NJ first since I'm not sure how long I would want to live in Korea either. I'm thinking probably 5 years before baby goes to school, but aging and ailing parents are always on my mind. My dad still has almost 10years till retirement and I dont think it's right to have them move here unless it's voluntary on their part.
At times it feels great to have one side of the family here, but other times, it feels like you can never win. I wonder how having a baby will change my thoughts about all of this.
I just wanted to say, I GET YOU! I totally get the expat and reverse-expat blues.