I usually stay out of the debates as well. But when people are posting comments that have no factual information what so ever it makes me want to speak up.
I can even understand how the fear mongering takes over bc they made me question myself since I got my flu shot yesterday!! But then the rational side of my brain takes back over and I know I did what's best for myself and baby.
My sister-in-law is super anti-vac. And it makes me grateful that she's vowed never to have kids. I'm all for caution but with a very healthy dose of common sense. I thank God daily for the anti-nausea med I'm on! Yay modern medicine!
I hate having my Facebook newsfeed flooded with all the posts of "this is my baby's progress this week". I don't care, I know you're excited but a very small percentage of your friends are as excited as you... I baby is not even being announced on Facebook until it is born...
Tomatoes are so gross. Unless it's ketchup or tomato sauce, no thank you!!!! My mom and husband can eat them like apples - sick.
Similarly, cilantro tastes like poison. I do not understand how some people love it so much. I will not eat anything with even the slightest bit of cilantro in it. BLEH.
My hubby and son love cilantro. Meanwhile, I can't even handle one single tiny spec of it on my food. Yuck.
UO: I think that the concept of going on an extravagant tropical 'babymoon' is a giant waste of money. I didn't think that was an actual thing normal people did, honestly. How do you rationalize spending that amount of savings with a new baby on the way?
I am all for vaccines. We vaccinated Dd and we will do the same with this one.
Flu shots are a different story. I won't get one for me, pregnant or not.
Why?
Not her, but I won't get one because I ALWAYS get sick when I get one, but have never gotten the flu when I skip it. I'm not a crazy antivaxxer either, but I'll probably just spread the time between vaccines out longer than what's normal.
@Knottie9983816 the actual flu as in influenza? My mom had influenza last winter and she is extremely healthy and not that old. I have never seen anybody so sick in my life. She did get the flu shot but she did not get the flu from it. That's a very common misconception. The flu shot is essentially a guess based off of the Southern Hemisphere at what strains of flu they thing will plague us. Last year happened to be a more inaccurate one than usual. It still protected against some strains but not all of them. Getting the flu after getting the flu shot is possible, but getting it from the flu shot is impossible.
First BFP 12/2012, MMC at 9 weeks
Second BFP 6/2013, resulted in DS, born 2/23/14 :-)
Third BFP 5/2015, natural MC at 6 weeks
Fourth BFP 8/2015, hoping for sticky little brother or sister to H!
Proud SAHM to our little monkey H.
Pro Vax, extended breasftfeeder, ring sling and stroller loving mama. I don't judge you unless you don't vaccinate!
@Knottie9983816 the actual flu as in influenza? My mom had influenza last winter and she is extremely healthy and not that old. I have never seen anybody so sick in my life. She did get the flu shot but she did not get the flu from it. That's a very common misconception. The flu shot is essentially a guess based off of the Southern Hemisphere at what strains of flu they thing will plague us. Last year happened to be a more inaccurate one than usual. It still protected against some strains but not all of them. Getting the flu after getting the flu shot is possible, but getting it from the flu shot is impossible.
This exactly. I also hear the shot this year should be more accurate than last years.
I hear this argument about the shot making people sick all the time. If you legitimately catch influenza, you're going to be laid up for over a week wishing you would die, possibly needing hospitalization because the virus attacks your respiratory system. Influenza is not a viral bug that clears up in a couple of days, especially in pregnant women who are more susceptible to it anyway. I personally would rather feel crummy for a couple of days as my body adapts to a new immunity than to put the health and safety of my unborn child at risk...but I'm also one of those crazy people that will have her child vaccinated according to the CDC's recommendations provided this bean is healthy and has no allergies.
I hear this argument about the shot making people sick all the time. If you legitimately catch influenza, you're going to be laid up for over a week wishing you would die, possibly needing hospitalization because the virus attacks your respiratory system. Influenza is not a viral bug that clears up in a couple of days, especially in pregnant women who are more susceptible to it anyway. I personally would rather feel crummy for a couple of days as my body adapts to a new immunity than to put the health and safety of my unborn child at risk...but I'm also one of those crazy people that will have her child vaccinated according to the CDC's recommendations provided this bean is healthy and has no allergies.
Exactly!! Spacing out vaccines can be really dangerous too. We have a case of measles in our county now and the child that contracted it was in between dose 1&2. I understand it seems like a lot, but you're not fully protected until you recieve all the recommended doses so there's a reason for the scheduled and timing. Now this child has put others at risk bc measles is highly contagious and can live in the air and on surfaces for a longer time than most viruses. I checked the map of where the child went and low and behold he/she visited the complex my OB is in the same day I was there. Thank goodness I am fully vaccinated but other kids who aren't and also visited the building are definitely at risk now. So scary.
Just gotta put this out there..... Starting to irritate me when some ladies are complaining about their "overly excited" mothers about their pregnancy. I've seen at least 5 threads about this "issue" since I've joined the bump, and truth be told, your mother/MIL referring to your baby as "my baby" is not a big deal. I would be jumping for joy if my mother had even an ounce of happiness about my pregnancy. Please stop complaining about supportive mothers/MIL and just be grateful you have someone who supports you. Ok end of rant #:-S
@kalanieileen that makes two of us. My Mom passed when I was 9, and the two women who helped to raise me after, my Aunt & Grandmother, both died unexpectedly last August/October. I'd give anything to have any of them here to share this with, annoying as they may have gotten from time to time. I have a wildly supportive MIL who has really stepped up for me over the last year, and I could not be more thankful. I don't necessarily think that other's comments about their Moms/MILs are MEANT to sound petty and ungrateful necessarily.. but I can't help but read them that way and feel a twinge of sadness when I do.
My UO: I hate red velvet anything... It's seriously red playdo flavored chocolate, and it makes my heart ache.
Funny story about red velvet. For the first few years my now-husband and I dated, I would get him red-velvet-flavored ANYTHING. Cookies, cupcakes, ice cream. I even got him red-velvet-scented soap one time. So one day, after the umpteenth time that I got him something red velvet, he asks me, "Why do you always get me red velvet?" "Because I know it's your favorite!" "I mean, it's okay..." Whoops. He probably just...enjoyed it one time and my brain just took that and RAN with it.
My UO: I hate red velvet anything... It's seriously red playdo flavored chocolate, and it makes my heart ache.
Funny story about red velvet. For the first few years my now-husband and I dated, I would get him red-velvet-flavored ANYTHING. Cookies, cupcakes, ice cream. I even got him red-velvet-scented soap one time. So one day, after the umpteenth time that I got him something red velvet, he asks me, "Why do you always get me red velvet?" "Because I know it's your favorite!" "I mean, it's okay..." Whoops. He probably just...enjoyed it one time and my brain just took that and RAN with it.
Too funny! I can't stand red velvet either, but it really IS my husband's favorite. I still buy/make red velvet desserts for him, but I make sure they aren't big or large batches. I do not need enough to share!
I think it depends on people's relationships with their moms or mil's for how they react to the "my baby" type comments. Have a good relationship? Doesn't bother you. Have a bad relationship and it turns into bitch eating crackers syndrome.
First BFP 12/2012, MMC at 9 weeks
Second BFP 6/2013, resulted in DS, born 2/23/14 :-)
Third BFP 5/2015, natural MC at 6 weeks
Fourth BFP 8/2015, hoping for sticky little brother or sister to H!
Proud SAHM to our little monkey H.
Pro Vax, extended breasftfeeder, ring sling and stroller loving mama. I don't judge you unless you don't vaccinate!
The CDC's schedule is actually quite precautionary. For example the first mmr dose is recommended at 12 months but babies can have it as young as 6 and be fine. In fact many doctors have been allowing patients to get it early with all the outbreaks. The cdc is extremely precautionary with their recommendations. Spacing out vaccines in my head is no better than not vaccinating. You're still giving in to the fear that pseudoscience has created. What are your worries for wanting to space them out?
Did you know that even though there are so many more vaccines now, that the number of antigens has reduced exponentially compared to the increase? So even with the MANY number of vaccines or children receive, their bodies are receiving far fewer toxins than they were "back in the old days".
If you look at the actual number of "scary" ingredients in vaccines such as formaldehyde you can see that the amount is often not even measurable, and that a child is more at "risk" for formaldehyde exposure from being exposed to a carpet or mattress than if they were given 1000 doses of the same vaccine at once.
First BFP 12/2012, MMC at 9 weeks
Second BFP 6/2013, resulted in DS, born 2/23/14 :-)
Third BFP 5/2015, natural MC at 6 weeks
Fourth BFP 8/2015, hoping for sticky little brother or sister to H!
Proud SAHM to our little monkey H.
Pro Vax, extended breasftfeeder, ring sling and stroller loving mama. I don't judge you unless you don't vaccinate!
Just gotta put this out there..... Starting to irritate me when some ladies are complaining about their "overly excited" mothers about their pregnancy. I've seen at least 5 threads about this "issue" since I've joined the bump, and truth be told, your mother/MIL referring to your baby as "my baby" is not a big deal. I would be jumping for joy if my mother had even an ounce of happiness about my pregnancy. Please stop complaining about supportive mothers/MIL and just be grateful you have someone who supports you. Ok end of rant #:-S
I mostly agree with this too- since I lost my mother 3.5 years ago and I would give anything for a meddling mother at this point.
However- I don't know how it feels to have an overly involved mother and I can imagine sometimes it might get frustrating.
@Knottie9983816 the actual flu as in influenza? My mom had influenza last winter and she is extremely healthy and not that old. I have never seen anybody so sick in my life. She did get the flu shot but she did not get the flu from it. That's a very common misconception. The flu shot is essentially a guess based off of the Southern Hemisphere at what strains of flu they thing will plague us. Last year happened to be a more inaccurate one than usual. It still protected against some strains but not all of them. Getting the flu after getting the flu shot is possible, but getting it from the flu shot is impossible.
This exactly. I also hear the shot this year should be more accurate than last years.
No I haven't had the flu since I was seventeen, and that year everyone I knew got it with or without the shot. Last year I had to get a flu shot for my job (in a preschool) and within 3 days I came down with such a horrible sickness I had to be hospitalized. Wasn't the flu or pneumonia, but my body does not and has not ever responded well to the flu shot, and I get horribly sick from it. And I am NOT using this as an example for the rest of the populous, ya'll get flu shots, and vaccinate so I don't get sick as easily.
As far as the vaccinations being spread out comment, I'm clearly going to have to do more research on the subject, because I haven't looked into it in several years, and was honestly just parroting advice from some friends from a while ago. Thank you for the input.
Just gotta put this out there..... Starting to irritate me when some ladies are complaining about their "overly excited" mothers about their pregnancy. I've seen at least 5 threads about this "issue" since I've joined the bump, and truth be told, your mother/MIL referring to your baby as "my baby" is not a big deal. I would be jumping for joy if my mother had even an ounce of happiness about my pregnancy. Please stop complaining about supportive mothers/MIL and just be grateful you have someone who supports you. Ok end of rant #:-S
I have a horrible relationship with my mother, and her mother, and they are more excited about my pregnancy than I am at this point tbh. Between my mother telling me not to tell my fiancé when I'm not happy about something so it doesn't stress HIM out (for context I have clinical depression, and have to be closely monitored during pregnancy because I'm off meds) and my grandmother constantly molesting my stomach every chance she gets, and saying how proud of me she is for finally conceiving (I wasn't trying, we thought I was infertle and I'm having a hard time adjusting to the idea of being a mother now) I'm a little over them talking about (jokingly) kidnapping their baby, and saying how happy they are in spite of how I feel. I completely understand where you're coming from, I just wish I had more of a gray area between "I couldn't care less about you being pregnant" and "I wish it really was my baby, because I miss being pregnant so much!"
Just gotta put this out there..... Starting to irritate me when some ladies are complaining about their "overly excited" mothers about their pregnancy. I've seen at least 5 threads about this "issue" since I've joined the bump, and truth be told, your mother/MIL referring to your baby as "my baby" is not a big deal. I would be jumping for joy if my mother had even an ounce of happiness about my pregnancy. Please stop complaining about supportive mothers/MIL and just be grateful you have someone who supports you. Ok end of rant #:-S
I think I get both sides. My mom lives half way around the world so I get jealous of moms and daughters that can call each other and meet up for a spontaneous coffee or dinner or shopping trip. My heart goes out to all of you whose moms passed away or aren't supportive of your pregnancy. I can still fly to my mom or fly my mom here. But a handful of my friends have told me how much they clash during pregnany and child-rearing because the mom meddles with them. When I tell them I'm jealous of that, they think about it and say 'I guess I see your point'. Truth is, for us humans, the grass is always greener on the other side.
Just gotta put this out there..... Starting to irritate me when some ladies are complaining about their "overly excited" mothers about their pregnancy. I've seen at least 5 threads about this "issue" since I've joined the bump, and truth be told, your mother/MIL referring to your baby as "my baby" is not a big deal. I would be jumping for joy if my mother had even an ounce of happiness about my pregnancy. Please stop complaining about supportive mothers/MIL and just be grateful you have someone who supports you. Ok end of rant #:-S
I am sorry your mom is not supportive.
I will gladly give you my MIL. She is supportive in the "I have made so many mistakes in my life I don't want you to make the same ones." Or she hoovers. When I was pregnant with Dd we were moving back to the Midwest and had to choose between my home state or DHs since his company would put him in either. She called me daily crying and begging me to not take her son away from her. We lived out east for six years and had been married 7 at this point. We did move to DH home state against my better judgement and she has been constantly trying to give us money or tell us what about our lives isn't right. I understand your frustration with the hormonal "my mother/mil is driving me nuts" that goes with pregnancy and I agree puck your battles. Some of really do struggle with a crazy over bearing woman who needs to step off.
So this is going to be REALLY unpopular, I'm assuming, but I was just thinking about the child I am carrying in my womb (ftm) and the child I take care of (pediatric nurse:). My child is NOT more important than the child that I care for. My child is not more important than my nieces and nephews. My child is not more important than any of the children other posters have and are carrying. Every child is a blessing. Every child is important. As much as I would like to think my baby is the best baby in the world, he/she isn't. To me, this baby means so much.... And every child should also mean so much
My UO: I hate red velvet anything... It's seriously red playdo flavored chocolate, and it makes my heart ache.
Funny story about red velvet. For the first few years my now-husband and I dated, I would get him red-velvet-flavored ANYTHING. Cookies, cupcakes, ice cream. I even got him red-velvet-scented soap one time. So one day, after the umpteenth time that I got him something red velvet, he asks me, "Why do you always get me red velvet?" "Because I know it's your favorite!" "I mean, it's okay..." Whoops. He probably just...enjoyed it one time and my brain just took that and RAN with it.
Hahaha...when DH and I first started dating, it was Christmas a couple of months in. I had no idea what to get him, so when we went to BJ's one day I mentally noted what he picked up to look at. I went back and got him those things for Christmas because I thought he liked them! We ended up returning about half of the stuff...
UO: The whole baby registry thing is weirding me out. We didn't do a wedding shower or a big wedding, and making a list of stuff for other people to buy us feels...tacky. I'm trying to figure out how to convey that we're happy to receive secondhand items as gifts.
So this is going to be REALLY unpopular, I'm assuming, but I was just thinking about the child I am carrying in my womb (ftm) and the child I take care of (pediatric nurse:). My child is NOT more important than the child that I care for. My child is not more important than my nieces and nephews. My child is not more important than any of the children other posters have and are carrying. Every child is a blessing. Every child is important. As much as I would like to think my baby is the best baby in the world, he/she isn't. To me, this baby means so much.... And every child should also mean so much
I completely agree. I was just thinking about this the other day on one of my "this is what's wrong with the world" rampages. I want my kids to know that while they are special to me, they aren't special. They're going to have to work harder and better than anyone else to get the recognition they want despite how special they're raised to feel. I think I'll be biased about the kid I spend hours pushing out and months cooking to perfection, but I was often told as a kid that I was no better than anyone else. I'd rather put a positive spin on that for my own: everyone is special, everyone is worthwhile, and everyone deserves love and compassion. And I mean everyone, from the criminals to the undocumented immigrants. Hate the action, love the person.
@gingercatnj most people will give you what they want to give and what they think is cute despite the registry. However some people (like moms who have recently had kids) will totally only buy off a registry. Also you get a discount off everything on it at the end.
@Knottie9983816 it's actually quite possible you had the flu last year! The flu shot last year unfortunately was pretty ineffective and a lot of vaccinated people got it. I'm so glad you're open to researching spreading out vaccines. I think people think that's a "safe medium" but don't realize it can also pose dangers. If you have any questions i would love to help you get some empirical data and peer reviewed research and it seems other women here are even more informed.
As for not being on your anti depressants, I'm not sure what you take but my doctor, a perinatologist, says to absolutely keep taking it if you don't do well without it. I take an ssri so I have no idea if what you take is different. He said that the risk/reward in this situation is fine. If you aren't functioning properly without your meds please speak to your doctor and see if you can try a lower dose or different "safer" med like an ssri.
First BFP 12/2012, MMC at 9 weeks
Second BFP 6/2013, resulted in DS, born 2/23/14 :-)
Third BFP 5/2015, natural MC at 6 weeks
Fourth BFP 8/2015, hoping for sticky little brother or sister to H!
Proud SAHM to our little monkey H.
Pro Vax, extended breasftfeeder, ring sling and stroller loving mama. I don't judge you unless you don't vaccinate!
@gingercatnj most people will give you what they want to give and what they think is cute despite the registry. However some people (like moms who have recently had kids) will totally only buy off a registry. Also you get a discount off everything on it at the end.
I think it's our age and life situation. I'm 39 next week and DH is 42, and we are financially better off than most of our family and friends. But a few people have asked already, so...I guess we should do it? I'm just trying not to put anything too crazy on it. We're Target and TJ Maxx people anyway. The prices on some of this stuff are astonishing!
Knottie9983816 " it's actually quite possible you had the flu last year! The flu shot last year unfortunately was pretty ineffective and a lot of vaccinated people got it. I'm so glad you're open to researching spreading out vaccines. I think people think that's a "safe medium" but don't realize it can also pose dangers. If you have any questions i would love to help you get some empirical data and peer reviewed research and it seems other women here are even more informed.
As for not being on your anti depressants, I'm not sure what you take but my doctor, a perinatologist, says to absolutely keep taking it if you don't do well without it. I take an ssri so I have no idea if what you take is different. He said that the risk/reward in this situation is fine. If you aren't functioning properly without your meds please speak to your doctor and see if you can try a lower dose or different "safer" med like an ssri
I haven't been on medication for over a year, by choice. I have had a really difficult time finding a doctor who accepts medicaid and what my backwards hometown deems a "high-risk pregnancy." I found a doctor who accepts medicaid and since I'm going in the second tri, I'm just going to keep trudging until I find out what his policy is on the subject. After I finally get seen by him I'm probably going to go through my primary to discuss it as well. It's just hard to get in to see him, as I go through a place with a sliding pay scale. (They book months in advance)
I definitely see where you ladies are coming from! I'm sorry for the ladies whose mothers/motherly figures have passed, that is not something I have had to deal with yet. I can definitely see how an overbearing mother/MIL can be extremely frustrating. My mother is not supportive because this was not "the future" she envisioned for my life. She wanted me to wait until my 30s to start a family where I feel 25 is a good age to start, especially when I have a loving SO and I've already started my career. But hey, can't please everyone right
@gingercatNJ And Target accepts your registry as a "gift receipt" so anything you get that you plan to return but didn't get a receipt for, you can add it to your registry and they'll give you a gift card for the list price instead of the lowest it's sold in 90 days. We only registered there with DD to make returns/exchanges easiest. People will buy what they want, but it makes life so much easier if half pick something you want instead of all of them guessing. Plus it helps avoid getting 6 bathtubs at a shower when you don't need 1
Ever since I have become pregnant, I have loved my baby more than I ever thought possible. But ever since I've become pregnant, there has been a weight on my heart for all the children growing up without love. I can't give a home to all of them, but how I wish I could.
So this is going to be REALLY unpopular, I'm assuming, but I was just thinking about the child I am carrying in my womb (ftm) and the child I take care of (pediatric nurse:). My child is NOT more important than the child that I care for. My child is not more important than my nieces and nephews. My child is not more important than any of the children other posters have and are carrying. Every child is a blessing. Every child is important. As much as I would like to think my baby is the best baby in the world, he/she isn't. To me, this baby means so much.... And every child should also mean so much
Jana Lynn
Happily married since 5/24/2015 Momma of a baby Viking since 4/16, expecting #2 in 5/18
@kalanieileen I wish i had tried earlier. My biggest regret ever! Personally my ideal timeline wouldve been starting around 26 or 27, but I met my hubby at 30! What matters is that you're happy
Re: Opinions That May Not Always be Popular
I can even understand how the fear mongering takes over bc they made me question myself since I got my flu shot yesterday!! But then the rational side of my brain takes back over and I know I did what's best for myself and baby.
Too funny! I can't stand red velvet either, but it really IS my husband's favorite. I still buy/make red velvet desserts for him, but I make sure they aren't big or large batches. I do not need enough to share!
Did you know that even though there are so many more vaccines now, that the number of antigens has reduced exponentially compared to the increase? So even with the MANY number of vaccines or children receive, their bodies are receiving far fewer toxins than they were "back in the old days".
If you look at the actual number of "scary" ingredients in vaccines such as formaldehyde you can see that the amount is often not even measurable, and that a child is more at "risk" for formaldehyde exposure from being exposed to a carpet or mattress than if they were given 1000 doses of the same vaccine at once.
However- I don't know how it feels to have an overly involved mother and I can imagine sometimes it might get frustrating.
As far as the vaccinations being spread out comment, I'm clearly going to have to do more research on the subject, because I haven't looked into it in several years, and was honestly just parroting advice from some friends from a while ago. Thank you for the input.
But a handful of my friends have told me how much they clash during pregnany and child-rearing because the mom meddles with them. When I tell them I'm jealous of that, they think about it and say 'I guess I see your point'.
Truth is, for us humans, the grass is always greener on the other side.
I will gladly give you my MIL. She is supportive in the "I have made so many mistakes in my life I don't want you to make the same ones." Or she hoovers. When I was pregnant with Dd we were moving back to the Midwest and had to choose between my home state or DHs since his company would put him in either. She called me daily crying and begging me to not take her son away from her. We lived out east for six years and had been married 7 at this point. We did move to DH home state against my better judgement and she has been constantly trying to give us money or tell us what about our lives isn't right. I understand your frustration with the hormonal "my mother/mil is driving me nuts" that goes with pregnancy and I agree puck your battles. Some of really do struggle with a crazy over bearing woman who needs to step off.
@Knottie9983816 it's actually quite possible you had the flu last year! The flu shot last year unfortunately was pretty ineffective and a lot of vaccinated people got it. I'm so glad you're open to researching spreading out vaccines. I think people think that's a "safe medium" but don't realize it can also pose dangers. If you have any questions i would love to help you get some empirical data and peer reviewed research and it seems other women here are even more informed.
As for not being on your anti depressants, I'm not sure what you take but my doctor, a perinatologist, says to absolutely keep taking it if you don't do well without it. I take an ssri so I have no idea if what you take is different. He said that the risk/reward in this situation is fine. If you aren't functioning properly without your meds please speak to your doctor and see if you can try a lower dose or different "safer" med like an ssri.