Anxiety- 4 weeks

RNMegan0711 · September 2015

Good Morning Ladies,

I'm relatively new here. I spent about four months on the TTC board and learned that searching was my best friend...that being said, I've done a lot of searching this past week since getting my BFP! We are so unbelievably excited!!!!! I was in such disbelief that I've taken at least 15 pregnancy tests, starting from 9dpo-17dpo now lol.

It's embarrassing to admit that I know SO little about my body and the entire pregnancy process. I'm a Surgical Intensive Care Nurse. I'm clueless when it comes to this though, and I hate that I can't have the answers to everything exactly when I want to know them and know the outcome to follow. lol

One thing that I'm struggling with is major anxiety. This seems to be a common searchable topic, but most of the woman who had posted about their anxiety over their pregnancies and possible miscarriages were woman who have had previous miscarriages.

This is my very first BFP and I've never had a miscarriage (to my knowledge), but I find myself waking up at night worrying about it, googling symptoms, trying to find some sort of reassurance that I'm not going to lose this baby that I've already gotten so attached to. I'm 4 weeks and 2 days (going by first day of last period), I have very very little breast soreness/tenderness, lots of come and go cramping (that sometimes is so bad it wakes me up at night), no spotting/bleeding and occasional waves of nausea throughout the day but nothing major and nothing resulting in vomit. Lol. I have four weeks until my 8 weeks apt for my first ultrasound and meeting with my Dr. The office that I see will not see me earlier and doesn't routinely do blood tests for confirmation prior to this apt. so I have no idea what my HCG levels are.

I guess what I'm searching for is to hear from some of the previous mamas out there that may have had similar symptoms (or may not) who didn't have the horrible experience of having to endure a miscarriage before having their first baby. Everyone I've told so far that I'm pregnant, seems to always respond with a miscarriage story, which just adds to my anxiety. Apart from the obvious symptoms to look out for; bleeding/spotting and severe pain...what has calmed your nerves in these first early weeks of pregnancy?

I apologize in advance if this comes off as just another repetitive question/subject. I truly appreciate anyones suggestions, knowledge and feedback! I'm so excited to join all of you ladies on this journey through one of the most incredible times of our lives!

VikingGirl12 · September 2015

I don't have much advice but I wanted to let you know that I feel the exact same way. I have that anxious feeling in my stomach 24/7. I suffer from severe anxiety normally and had to come off lexapro cold turkey so idk if I'm going through withdrawals??
My boobs are only a little sore.. I have to feel for it so I'm constantly grabbing them to check. I've had some sharp pains and some pretty bad cramping, but I had that with my son too. I also had a lot of bleeding with him but he was fine.
But I'm just like you, I can't stop thinking about losing this baby. I'll feel a lot better after my first appt. FX for you

CupcakesRamazing · September 2015

We are TWINSIES!

This is my second, (DD is ten months old) and I am so worried. To the pint it consumes me. I would call your OB And see tell them about your anxiety. They may do betas just to ease your mind.

Ive never had a loss either, and all systems look good now. But there is always that fear of what if. I am praying daily with my DH to help my anxiety. It's gotten better, but it's still a struggle. Know you are not alone.

It's not rational because I e never had a loss but the worry is still there. If you ever need to chat, PM me.

RNMegan0711 · September 2015

VikingGirl12 said:

I don't have much advice but I wanted to let you know that I feel the exact same way. I have that anxious feeling in my stomach 24/7. I suffer from severe anxiety normally and had to come off lexapro cold turkey so idk if I'm going through withdrawals?? My boobs are only a little sore.. I have to feel for it so I'm constantly grabbing them to check. I've had some sharp pains and some pretty bad cramping, but I had that with my son too. I also had a lot of bleeding with him but he was fine. But I'm just like you, I can't stop thinking about losing this baby. I'll feel a lot better after my first appt. FX for you

Just hearing from someone else about their similar symptoms of anxiety brings such relief to me, so I thank you so much for responding! I'm so sorry you're having to come off Lexapro like that, that must be a huge challenge and stressor for you. How far along are you? I think we'll BOTH feel a lot better after our first appts.

FX for you too!!!

VikingGirl12 · September 2015

I'm 4 weeks and 4 days... I think. Go on the May 2016 board and look for a thread about miscarriage chances. I'm at recess and don't have time to pull up the link. But it tells you chance of miscarriage by day. It helped me a LOT!!!

RNMegan0711 · September 2015

CupcakesRamazing said:

We are TWINSIES! This is my second, (DD is ten months old) and I am so worried. To the pint it consumes me. I would call your OB And see tell them about your anxiety. They may do betas just to ease your mind. Ive never had a loss either, and all systems look good now. But there is always that fear of what if. I am praying daily with my DH to help my anxiety. It's gotten better, but it's still a struggle. Know you are not alone. It's not rational because I e never had a loss but the worry is still there. If you ever need to chat, PM me."

(Edited because I don't know how to properly quote yet..lol)

I think I may do what you suggested, call my OB and let them know. I know that it would be a temporary relief but not sure how I'm going to make it through the next four weeks until my ultrasound apt. My husband and I have been praying when we get up each morning, praying over the baby...praying for my anxiety. I know the feeling so well and your comment truly teared me up. I can't tell you how much relief it is to feel support/understanding that others may be feeling the same way.

kattyleigh · September 2015

Huge hugs mama. Deep breath. I think we are all feeling some anxiety, but if it's consuming you, definitely seek help.

RNMegan0711 · September 2015

VikingGirl12 said:

I'm 4 weeks and 4 days... I think. Go on the May 2016 board and look for a thread about miscarriage chances. I'm at recess and don't have time to pull up the link. But it tells you chance of miscarriage by day. It helped me a LOT!!!

Omgoodness, I just searched that and found this link in one of the threads; https://spacefem.com/pregnant/mc.php?m=08&d=31&y=15

This is UNBELIEVABLY reassuring. Although I'm 25% chance of miscarriage as of my 4 weeks and 2 days currently. It just continues to lower drastically. Thank you thank you thank you for directing me to this. Anything that can relieve some of this anxiety. Ultimately, I know that I've got to realize that I'm not in control...that I need to do the best I can for this future baby and that includes TRYING NOT TO BE ANXIOUS. lol

CupcakesRamazing · September 2015

RNMegan0711 said:

CupcakesRamazing said:

We are TWINSIES!

This is my second, (DD is ten months old) and I am so worried. To the pint it consumes me. I would call your OB And see tell them about your anxiety. They may do betas just to ease your mind.

Ive never had a loss either, and all systems look good now. But there is always that fear of what if. I am praying daily with my DH to help my anxiety. It's gotten better, but it's still a struggle. Know you are not alone.

It's not rational because I e never had a loss but the worry is still there. If you ever need to chat, PM me."

(Edited because I don't know how to properly quote yet..lol)

I think I may do what you suggested, call my OB and let them know. I know that it would be a temporary relief but not sure how I'm going to make it through the next four weeks until my ultrasound apt. My husband and I have been praying when we get up each morning, praying over the baby...praying for my anxiety. I know the feeling so well and your comment truly teared me up. I can't tell you how much relief it is to feel support/understanding that others may be feeling the same way.

Girl anytime!!! That's what we are here for.

My appointment is Oct 22 and by lmp I'll be 8 weeks 1 day but by est O date I'll be more like 7 weeks 4 days (or a little more behind) I'm SO stressed that the baby will be behind and they won't think oh you just O late but think miscarriage! So I'm freaking about that currently.

kattyleigh · September 2015

No idea if this will work, but here's a screen shot of that chart. Love this!

RNMegan0711 · September 2015

kattyleigh said:

Huge hugs mama. Deep breath. I think we are all feeling some anxiety, but if it's consuming you, definitely seek help.

I'm truly blown away with the genuine love and kindness you woman are showing me. Thank you so much.

jerseybroadwaybaby · September 2015

Anxiety is totally normal! I am a 3rd timer and I have it now as well! My first time around it took us about 5 month to get pregnant, and once I took that test it still took seeing a heartbeat to really 100% believe it. I remember telling my husband "what if it's cancer or something? Your body can do crazy stuff like that and make it seem like a pregnancy and it's really cancer!". Yeah I was crazy! My first I had very few symptoms like you! My second I was very sick but didn't throw up with either. All these things are normal my dear! I think it's great you are taking the time to ask questions and voice your anxieties! My SIL just had a baby and didn't bother to do any research or help herself and it's been rough to watch and not want to smack her and say "wake up! You have resources!!"
With this being my third time around in sure I speak for more than myself when I say feel free to ask any of us who have been through all this questions! I'm always happy to answer and I'm sure many others are as well!
Take care and enjoy!

FutureMrsCAF · September 2015

Girl, being pregnant is scary, especially early on when we can't feel them moving and there are so many unknowns. I was having some anxiety at the OB today and the nurse and I were talking about how we worry about our kids as soon as they're conceived, and we never stop worrying! Hugs for you, mama! It gets less scary, I promise!

RNMegan0711 · September 2015

I am SO thankful that I posted my concerns... All of you have done so much for my anxiety already just by responding and offering me your words of advice and virtual hugs. They are so appreciated! I'm very grateful to have found you all/this group! I hope that one day soon I get to return the favor of providing comfort to a new pregnant mom who has the same fears and anxiety that I do. You're all are very right, I'm sure all of us have anxiety this far along.. Just talking about it and letting me know that I'm not alone has definitely comforted me and ease up some of that fear today. It's silly to think that I'm alone in those feelings of overwhelm.. It's so easy to let it consume you. I loved hearing FutureMrsCAF say that we worry about our children from the moment they were conceived. So so true! That made me smile... I'm going to be a mom! It's a very surreal feeling. Thank you all so much.

WinniethePoohsPants · September 2015

Here's a content looking Kermit to help you relax.

cattuccino · September 2015

One of the things about anxiety, is it isn't rational. It never is, and that doesn't mean that it isn't normal or not okay.
Pregnancy, as PPs have said, is a very scary time. It's okay to be anxious and worried and already be the protective mama-bear that you are.
As things progress there may be things that will ease your anxiety...appointments and hearing the heart beat etc helps - when you finally feel movement...

Welcome to being (becoming) a mom. It's so scary. You never really get used to it, it always seems to change.

For what it's worth, I'm really anxious, too.

However, I would like to add if it's really impacting your life, and quality of life - it's worth finding someone to talk to, to help find maybe different ways of dealing with or handling it

RMLandy · September 2015

I feel the exact same way, and am just praying for symptoms so I can feel some reassurance. (I know I'll regret that when they hit!) I have to say the thing that calms me down is reminding myself that I am not in control. I'm a Christian so I believe a God is in control and he's much more capable than I! Even if you're not, remembering that it's out of your hands and all you can do it be as healthy as possible for your baby, may help! Also, get a hobby! Ha! Helps the time pass more quickly.

RNMegan0711 · September 2015

RMLandy said:

I feel the exact same way, and am just praying for symptoms so I can feel some reassurance. (I know I'll regret that when they hit!) I have to say the thing that calms me down is reminding myself that I am not in control. I'm a Christian so I believe a God is in control and he's much more capable than I! Even if you're not, remembering that it's out of your hands and all you can do it be as healthy as possible for your baby, may help! Also, get a hobby! Ha! Helps the time pass more quickly.

I couldn't agree more. It's definitely not in our hands. We pray over this little one already multiple times a day.

As far as hobbies, I wish being a full time nurse and full time student were enough...seems I still find time to be anxious on my days off of work. I've bought a few books and have started reading a bunch on pregnancy etc...maybe it isn't helping? lol

JennandBaby · September 2015

This will be my third baby, and what I've realized about pregnancy is that there is just too much to worry about to even let yourself do it. There are so many things to be anxious about, and if you let it it will consume you. I don't have control over what is going to happen with this pregnancy. All I can do is eat healthy, follow all of the recommendations, take my vitamins, and try my best to relax. I also pray a lot too, which does help.

Don't worry about not having symptoms. You really aren't supposed to have any yet anyway. When you do get them they will probably come and go, so be prepared for that

Also, I would stop reading. It did make me more worried. I'm a nurse too, and it is a curse when it comes to pregnancy. We know just enough to be nervous about everything, but not enough to know that we shouldn't really be concerned.

Good luck to you!

amangels2 · September 2015

I have the same anxiety. All I could think was... "I can't wait to get through the 1st trimester." Seeing the chart about how the percentages change the longer your pregnant helped SO much. Plus hearing about how symptoms change or stop. Right now, I feel like I'm not really experiencing any symptoms, except being massively tired. Getting out of bed has gone from being difficult to almost impossible.

I did talk to my mom about my fears and she said that I can't worry about what I can't change. She said I just needed to enjoy each day of being pregnant and each step of this miraculous journey. After she said that, I felt a lot better.

redheadbride15 · September 2015

RNMegan0711 said:

VikingGirl12 said:

I'm 4 weeks and 4 days... I think. Go on the May 2016 board and look for a thread about miscarriage chances. I'm at recess and don't have time to pull up the link. But it tells you chance of miscarriage by day. It helped me a LOT!!!

Omgoodness, I just searched that and found this link in one of the threads; https://spacefem.com/pregnant/mc.php?m=08&d=31&y=15

This is UNBELIEVABLY reassuring. Although I'm 25% chance of miscarriage as of my 4 weeks and 2 days currently. It just continues to lower drastically. Thank you thank you thank you for directing me to this. Anything that can relieve some of this anxiety. Ultimately, I know that I've got to realize that I'm not in control...that I need to do the best I can for this future baby and that includes TRYING NOT TO BE ANXIOUS. lol

Thank you SO much for posting this link, and for sharing your story and starting this thread. I've been struggling a lot with anxiety the past few days. I'm also a medical professional, so I think we know a bit too much and that makes things all that much worse. I am 3w5d by LMP but more like 4w1d by O-date (I have short cycles). I'm 38 and this is my first pregnancy, VERY planned for and wanted. My BFP was almost a week ago but I haven't even scheduled an appointment with my OB yet because I'm still so paranoid that AF will still come any moment. But I'm breathing a little easier each day. A 25% chance of loss = a 75% chance of taking baby home. I can deal with that. One day at a time. *hugs* to all!

herrokitty · September 2015

Right there with you!! <333

scaylsworth · October 2015

I have the same discussion with my husband nearly every night. I am a ball of nerves. I just passed into 5 weeks and this our first pregnancy so everything freaks me out. It also seems as though you hear nothing but horror stories! This whole post has been so helpful and calming for me! You are not alone! I am a constant "web-md'er" myself!

RNMegan0711 · October 2015

scaylsworth said:

I have the same discussion with my husband nearly every night. I am a ball of nerves. I just passed into 5 weeks and this our first pregnancy so everything freaks me out. It also seems as though you hear nothing but horror stories! This whole post has been so helpful and calming for me! You are not alone! I am a constant "web-md'er" myself!

Although I'm definitely not happy that you are having to go through some of the same anxiety that I'm experiencing, I am happy that we are all not alone in this and that this thread was not only able to help me but some other new future mamas as well.

sthomas1222 · October 2015

3rd baby & I have very little symptoms. Also have. My nausea comes on at night & I sleep through it. I've never vomited from morning sickness. My boobs kinda sorta hurt. I have milk cramping. That's it. The coffee & meat aversion will kick it for me soon most likely. But that's the extent of my symptoms all 3 times.

I worried a lot about miscarriage with my 2nd actually. But knowing in my mind that early miscarriage is mainly the result of a no viable pregnancy makes me feel much better. I'm sure that comes off harsh/detached/etc but for me knowing that it's not something I did, I couldn't prevent it, makes me feel better about it.

CocoaPuff818 · October 2015

Thank you for posting this. I've been feeling the same way. So glad I'm not alone with these feelings.

hillanne87 · October 2015

This has been so helpful to read. I don't have as many symptoms as I had last time (so far), and while I know every pregnancy is different, it's also unnerving. It's nice to know that I'm not alone in my worrying.

qdoodles · October 2015

I understand your anxiety, and I'm the same way. I had my miscarriage back in April. I just got my bfp today, and I've been worried all day. It's going to be a long 8 weeks until the second trimester starts. Made an appointment to see my gyn next week. Hopefully I'll get some blood tests done and talk to the dr a bit to put my mind at ease a bit. Good luck to you all, ladies.

NicknShan · October 2015

I struggle with anxiety.

Here are things that help:

1. Write down your blessings.

2. Write does a list of the people you love.

3. Replace your negative thoughts with positive. Negativity flows freely. We must work for the positive.

4. Never forget your are stronger than anxiety.

Mr0616 · October 2015

Starting thinking too much about what could go wrong tonight. This thread helped tremendously!!

sorarose · October 2015

I am exactly the same way. I found the website with my own Google search to see the likelihood of miscarrying. It's a double edged sword knowing early that you are KU (I'm only 3 weeks 5 days), but I'm trying to take it one day at a time. I also have anxiety and convinced myself something was wrong last time around, so they tested Betas earlier on for me...I also wasn't temping then, so they saw me based on LMP the first time and I was actually only 6 weeks along and they couldn't see a heartbeat yet. Just know you are not alone!

berky84 · October 2015

I'm 4 weeks today according to my LMP - also got my BFP today. I can completely relate and it's only been a day. I'm terrified that I've instantly gotten used to the idea that I'm pregnant and that something will happen and I won't be. I can't wait for each passing day when my chances of carrying to term get better and better.

Mr0616 · October 2015

Oh Dr. Google.....sometimes I love you. Sometimes I am dying.

TheHauntedHauswife · October 2015

I was also feeling the same things. I feel like now that im 5 weeks the worry has gone down a bit but 2 weeks or so ago i was very very concerned about it. Also for no real reason and also not from any previous.

I once heard something that said if you are having anxieties about these things, that its a wonderful idea to try and keep yourself super 'in the now' about it. Not that i have been successful with this, but the idea was just that you are currently pregnant now and you (we) should cherish this moment of having a baby growing inside us rather then looking forward in concern of it no longer being there. Again im not saying this was hugely successful with me, but its a nice idea.

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