February 2016 Moms

Unpopular opinions 10/8

2

Re: Unpopular opinions 10/8

  • @acuteangles that is just so sad!  If you helped create it, you need to be responsible enough to take care of it. If H was watching baby while I was out and was blowing up my phone and not interacting with the kid, you better believe when I got home we'd have a come to Jesus talk about his responsibilities!
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    Married.....09/08/2012
    Baby F.......02/02/2016
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  • NoelBird said:
    My SIL is probably trying for another baby soon. I feel like a bitch, but I really hope it takes a while cause we're borrowing all their baby stuff and saved at least $500-$800 by using it. Plus, I really don't think they need another yet. My nephew isn't that well behaved and to add another? Oy.
    Yea it would suck to not have the baby stuff to fall back on but judging when they choose to have another kid isn't cool. That's a personal decision and as long as they can financially support the child then who cares?
    ___________

    We have a really strained relationship and she's really not a nice person so its kind of easy for me to judge since if she wasn't my husband's sister, i would never even want to know a person like her. plus i know for a fact her husband isn't ready for another kid so i feel like she'd be one of those people to pull a bitch move and just stop taking BC without telling him. Its purely selfish reasons for me not wanting them to have another soon i know and it's bitchy for me to say. It took us a year and half to finally conceive and that whole time the baby gear was just sitting in our garage, and now that we finally are pregnant, she wants another. it just irks me in terms of the timing. let them have a thousand babies if they want, but just.. again the timing of it all.
    Married: 8/25/12
    Started TTC: 1/1/14
    BFP: 6/1/15
    Baby Girl Athena Born: 2/7/16

  • I think one reason dads are uninvolved is because when they do change the baby, feed the baby, etc. Mom hangs around criticizing. Our prenatal instructor called it "mother bear syndrome"!

    My UO is that it would not be fun to have Feb. 29 for a birthday. I'm really hoping this LO doesn't decide to come that day.
  • I think one reason dads are uninvolved is because when they do change the baby, feed the baby, etc. Mom hangs around criticizing. Our prenatal instructor called it "mother bear syndrome"! My UO is that it would not be fun to have Feb. 29 for a birthday. I'm really hoping this LO doesn't decide to come that day.
    I'm sure there's something to this, at least in some situations, but I wouldn't let a criticism deter me from interacting with my baby, changing their diapers, feeding them, etc. I would hope that fathers would feel the same way, regardless of negative comments from the moms.  That's their child and they should be more vocal about wanting to share childcare responsibilities if it is important to them.  If it's not, well then that's just sad.

    I agree with you on the 2/29 birthday!  Originally H was excited about the prospect, but came to his senses eventually.  I'm hoping we don't land on V Day OR leap year, but who knows what will happen!

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  • I think one reason dads are uninvolved is because when they do change the baby, feed the baby, etc. Mom hangs around criticizing. Our prenatal instructor called it "mother bear syndrome"! My UO is that it would not be fun to have Feb. 29 for a birthday. I'm really hoping this LO doesn't decide to come that day.
    I'm sure Mother Bear Syndrome has something to do with it, as well as society's portrayal that men are the bread winners and not to be the nurturer...but my UO was more towards the disrespect some give their partners in not trusting their abilities to parent and suggest they're only "babysitters" and not one of the parents..
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    Married.....09/08/2012
    Baby F.......02/02/2016
  • @monkeybutt80.. Don't worry, he'll get other kids sick, which will probably give it back to him, so you'll have your chance to stay home with a sick kid again next week.

    Trailing off of that.. I can't stand when people come to work sick. We share the same computers, work surfaces, pens, etc... So when one comes in sick, a bunch of us get it (and in turn, the parents of young kids end up with sick kiddos, too). Makes me really annoyed... And even more annoyed that our employer has a pretty strict sick policy that makes people feel like they have no choice but to come in.

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  • VitaLuna said:
    @monkeybutt80.. Don't worry, he'll get other kids sick, which will probably give it back to him, so you'll have your chance to stay home with a sick kid again next week. Trailing off of that.. I can't stand when people come to work sick. We share the same computers, work surfaces, pens, etc... So when one comes in sick, a bunch of us get it (and in turn, the parents of young kids end up with sick kiddos, too). Makes me really annoyed... And even more annoyed that our employer has a pretty strict sick policy that makes people feel like they have no choice but to come in.
    I agree re: people coming into work sick. So many people at my work have been sick with a cold, including one coworker who I work really close to. Sure enough, I got it! I can't help but resent him/them for getting me sick when they came into work sneezing/coughing all over the place and not practicing adequate hand hygiene. Ugh. 
  • pbtoast said:
    VitaLuna said:
    @monkeybutt80.. Don't worry, he'll get other kids sick, which will probably give it back to him, so you'll have your chance to stay home with a sick kid again next week. Trailing off of that.. I can't stand when people come to work sick. We share the same computers, work surfaces, pens, etc... So when one comes in sick, a bunch of us get it (and in turn, the parents of young kids end up with sick kiddos, too). Makes me really annoyed... And even more annoyed that our employer has a pretty strict sick policy that makes people feel like they have no choice but to come in.
    I agree re: people coming into work sick. So many people at my work have been sick with a cold, including one coworker who I work really close to. Sure enough, I got it! I can't help but resent him/them for getting me sick when they came into work sneezing/coughing all over the place and not practicing adequate hand hygiene. Ugh. 
    My old employer was very not friendly to people calling in sick. Basically if you aren't being admitted to the hospital you should be at work. I started a new job in July and I have a terrible cold and two of the other girls are coming down with something now and I asked if it's like office culture to come in sick? they were like no.... if we aren't feeling well we don't come in so we don't give it to anyone else. Now I feel bad that I probably got them sick but it was with good intentions that I came to work.

    *Kate*

    February 2016

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  • mcklough said:
    pbtoast said:
    VitaLuna said:
    @monkeybutt80.. Don't worry, he'll get other kids sick, which will probably give it back to him, so you'll have your chance to stay home with a sick kid again next week. Trailing off of that.. I can't stand when people come to work sick. We share the same computers, work surfaces, pens, etc... So when one comes in sick, a bunch of us get it (and in turn, the parents of young kids end up with sick kiddos, too). Makes me really annoyed... And even more annoyed that our employer has a pretty strict sick policy that makes people feel like they have no choice but to come in.
    I agree re: people coming into work sick. So many people at my work have been sick with a cold, including one coworker who I work really close to. Sure enough, I got it! I can't help but resent him/them for getting me sick when they came into work sneezing/coughing all over the place and not practicing adequate hand hygiene. Ugh. 
    My old employer was very not friendly to people calling in sick. Basically if you aren't being admitted to the hospital you should be at work. I started a new job in July and I have a terrible cold and two of the other girls are coming down with something now and I asked if it's like office culture to come in sick? they were like no.... if we aren't feeling well we don't come in so we don't give it to anyone else. Now I feel bad that I probably got them sick but it was with good intentions that I came to work.
    Yeah, I do understand that. Some employers aren't so friendly about taking sick time. We only get limited paid sick time, but no one ever gives anyone a hard time where I work about calling in when you're sick. And if you MUST come, at least wait until you're not so, so sick, and wash your hands and cough/sneeze into your elbow, not your hand, dammit!
  • VitaLunaVitaLuna member
    edited October 2015
    Luckily, because of FMLA, we can call in "sick child" more easily without repercussions (although, it's often easier for my H to stay home with DD than me). For personal illness , though, you're allowed 2 sick calls in 90 days (if you call multiple days in a row, it's only considered 1 occurrence). Third sick call in 90 days requires a meeting with your manager and HR referral.

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  • purpletulippurpletulip member
    edited October 2015
    @Monkeybutt80- we have sick child day places around here- do you know if you have one?
    They get quarantined based on type of illness and there are nurses.

    ETA: forgot to tag


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  • mcklough said:

    I hate all things pumpkins, except for the look of a pumpkin. I don't like the taste, smell, spiced, whatever.

    also my UO is from reading the dumb things people say posts I think people are WAY too sensitive.

    I just like being able to complain there because if I don't say something at some point I feel like I will explode. It's not so much what is said, but how many freaking times I have to hear it. Like comgratulations, would you like a prize for being the one millionth person to mention that I am getting bigger? Repitition is not my friend! I know everyone has the best intentions and sometimes it's just awkward but ugh!
  • I would be pissed if my husband ever said he was "babysitting" our children lol.

    I really hate pumpkin spice anything. I tried the lattes, frapuchinos etc. I was bummed out lol everyone makes them sound like the best thing ever.

    I can't stand anyone who pawns their child off to other family members. I see it way to often. Especially when I know they're very capable of doing their parent duties. I don't mean having someone help you out.
  • @acuteangles I totally agree with you. LO is due 2/29 and I'm hoping for any day other than that

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  • I think roadside memorials are stupid.

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  • I think roadside memorials are stupid.
    As in when family/friends put a marker up with flowers etc? or When there's an official DOT sign up and underneath the PSA it says "In Memory of ____________"?

    And just curious, why?
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    Married.....09/08/2012
    Baby F.......02/02/2016
  • @jamieruns and @acuteangles  thanks. It certainly hasn't been an easy day. and I appreciate the acknowledgment that it wasn't an easy decision. 


    @vitaLuna I can't tell if you are being sarcastic or not, but I agree that it isn't over and I am sure either my husband or I will have to stay home many days over the next several months.  Last winter was brutal with one virus after another and even though I hope no one else gets sick and he doesn't bring it back, but sadly, it's likely that he's already passed it on or caught what was already circulating at daycare even prior to today, as most colds are contagious before showing any symptoms. 



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  • Twindling said:
    @Twindling I totally agree with you, and no one should take knowingly sick kid to daycare lightly. and I don't take it lightly either, hence my comment on feeling guilty to other children in his classroom. I know my child will survive, but I know that I am exposing others.I totally understand where you are coming from as I dealt with something similar (to a lesser degree than what you are experiencing with your child) with mine when he was younger. Overnight hospital observations for low oxygen levels were awful and watching him pick up one virus after another at daycare was so sad and exhausting.  I would have worked from home today if I could; and I know my husband would have if he could. 

    At what point do you just say "this isn't okay to expose other children to" and keep him home. I understand not being able to afford to miss work...trust me, I nearly lost my job because of it. I mean what would you do if daycare called and sent him home? Just tell them "sorry we can't work from home today...be there at 5 to pick him up!"
    yeah, I don't know. I guess I am selfish in that I don't want to risk my job or license. I honestly have no idea what I would do if daycare called me to tell me to pick him up; if I had a solution, I wouldn;t have dropped him off in the first place. They are aware that he has a chest congestion, as I told them this morning at drop off. Go ahead and beat me up some more for this awful thing that I admitted that I did. 

    @achae our daycare has the same policy, which is why I gave him motrin. He woke up with a 99.6 fever, I gave him motrin, when we left, he no longer had a fever. Like I said to Twindling, I have no idea what I will do if daycare calls me today asking me to pick him up. 

    I'm with the other ladies here too. I'm student teaching right now and DH runs his own company and is the only employee. I am allowed to miss 3 days total. That's me being sick, my kids, doctors stuff, and so on. Well guess what, I have until Dec. to go and I've used my 3 days but you can bet your butt that if I KNOW my kid is sick and DH can't be home with them that day I'll be risking graduation, certification, and thousands of dollars in tuition to stay home until my kid is better. You have to find a way as a parent. If you can't even be bothered to stay home with your sick child now what are you going to do when this one arrives and you have two kids passing an illness back and forth?

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  • I hate birthday cake. I do like the icing though. Luckily, H likes the cake and hates the icing so we get along great.
    I am 27, DH is 26.
    We have been married since September 28, 2013.
    We had our first child, Zoey, February 7, 2016.

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  • kirkie928 said:
    I hate birthday cake. I do like the icing though. Luckily, H likes the cake and hates the icing so we get along great.
    Awwww The olive theory. (HIMYM is seriously the best show ever! So sad it's over!)

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  • kirkie928 said:

    I hate birthday cake. I do like the icing though. Luckily, H likes the cake and hates the icing so we get along great.

    Frosting is gross. Unless it's cream cheese or pudding frosting, I'll pass.

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  • @DrillSergeantCat - I'm with you, pumpkin and most all food scented candles smell horrific. They make me gag! DH loves them! He bought a pumpkin candle that he only sniffs because I can't handle the smell. So gross!!!

    @MississippiCatfish - I love teakwood!!!! I have a couple teakwood rich and teakwood a around the house, they smell amazing!!!

    My UO- I'm not a pet person. :/ I used to be before I had kids but now all my attention is on them and I just don't have time for them, so I don't bother.

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  • I think roadside memorials are stupid.
    As in when family/friends put a marker up with flowers etc? or When there's an official DOT sign up and underneath the PSA it says "In Memory of ____________"?

    And just curious, why?
    When people put flowers and markers up on the side of the road because we don't visit where people died, we visit where they're laid to rest. We don't put memorials in hospital rooms or, like in the case of my dad, the living room. So why put it on the side of a road?

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  • kris10mac said:

    Tory Burch. I just don't get it. I see so many people with those ballet flats that are what... $200?? What the hell?

    I totally agreed with you until I got a pair. Now I have 3 pair. They are so comfy and I can wear them all through my pregnacy. I still have my first pair which are over 4 years old but look new!!
  • I'm sure everyone at some point going to send a sick kid
    to





    I think roadside memorials are stupid.

    As in when family/friends put a marker up with flowers etc? or When there's an official DOT sign up and underneath the PSA it says "In Memory of ____________"?

    And just curious, why?

    When people put flowers and markers up on the side of the road because we don't visit where people died, we visit where they're laid to rest. We don't put memorials in hospital rooms or, like in the case of my dad, the living room. So why put it on the side of a road?

    I go to the crash site of my best friends accident on the day she died ever year because it was the last place she touched before she died, it's weird but it's how I grieve. My friend turned the crash site of her younger brother into a beautiful memorial. Every time I drive by any of those stupid flowers it causes me to take pause.
  • Monkeybutt80Monkeybutt80 member
    edited October 2015




    Twindling said:

    @Twindling I totally agree with you, and no one should take knowingly sick kid to daycare lightly. and I don't take it lightly either, hence my comment on feeling guilty to other children in his classroom. I know my child will survive, but I know that I am exposing others.I totally understand where you are coming from as I dealt with something similar (to a lesser degree than what you are experiencing with your child) with mine when he was younger. Overnight hospital observations for low oxygen levels were awful and watching him pick up one virus after another at daycare was so sad and exhausting.  I would have worked from home today if I could; and I know my husband would have if he could. 


    At what point do you just say "this isn't okay to expose other children to" and keep him home. I understand not being able to afford to miss work...trust me, I nearly lost my job because of it. I mean what would you do if daycare called and sent him home? Just tell them "sorry we can't work from home today...be there at 5 to pick him up!"

    yeah, I don't know. I guess I am selfish in that I don't want to risk my job or license. I honestly have no idea what I would do if daycare called me to tell me to pick him up; if I had a solution, I wouldn;t have dropped him off in the first place. They are aware that he has a chest congestion, as I told them this morning at drop off. Go ahead and beat me up some more for this awful thing that I admitted that I did. 

    @achae our daycare has the same policy, which is why I gave him motrin. He woke up with a 99.6 fever, I gave him motrin, when we left, he no longer had a fever. Like I said to Twindling, I have no idea what I will do if daycare calls me today asking me to pick him up. 


    I'm with the other ladies here too. I'm student teaching right now and DH runs his own company and is the only employee. I am allowed to miss 3 days total. That's me being sick, my kids, doctors stuff, and so on. Well guess what, I have until Dec. to go and I've used my 3 days but you can bet your butt that if I KNOW my kid is sick and DH can't be home with them that day I'll be risking graduation, certification, and thousands of dollars in tuition to stay home until my kid is better. You have to find a way as a parent. If you can't even be bothered to stay home with your sick child now what are you going to do when this one arrives and you have two kids passing an illness back and forth?


    -///////--------------- ETA quote fail---------
    Yep. Re: your last sentence; thank you for making me realize that I shouldn't have this second kid bc I couldn't stay home one particular day from work and instead my child went to daycare half the day and my husband watched him for half the day.


    But sarcasm aside, I hope you don't ever get judged on your parenting ability by others based on one action.
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  • I hate when women say that their husbands/SO are "babysitting" the kid(s) while they're out doing something...or that they need to get home because they don't trust their husband/SO to care for the kid(s). If you don't trust your partner with your most prized possession, why the eff did you have a baby with them!? And they're not babysitting, they're parenting!

    End rant.

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    Edit: I miss gifs!

    This! A girlfriend of mine posted on FB about going back to work and leaving her baby at home with her husband. She asked three different people to check on them while she was working. It's your husband with his son, I think he will be well taken care of! Have a little more faith.
  • pbtoast said:



    Teakwood is the best candle scent.

    Leaves from Bath & Body Works....yummmmmm


    I loved the scented room oils Bath and Body Works used to sell. I'm disappointed they no longer carry them.
  • If I had to drive past the spot every day, I wouldn't want that visual reminder. I also would want to go someplace they loved to be near their positive energy instead of where they possibly suffered.

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  • Twindling said:
    @Twindling I totally agree with you, and no one should take knowingly sick kid to daycare lightly. and I don't take it lightly either, hence my comment on feeling guilty to other children in his classroom. I know my child will survive, but I know that I am exposing others.I totally understand where you are coming from as I dealt with something similar (to a lesser degree than what you are experiencing with your child) with mine when he was younger. Overnight hospital observations for low oxygen levels were awful and watching him pick up one virus after another at daycare was so sad and exhausting.  I would have worked from home today if I could; and I know my husband would have if he could. 

    At what point do you just say "this isn't okay to expose other children to" and keep him home. I understand not being able to afford to miss work...trust me, I nearly lost my job because of it. I mean what would you do if daycare called and sent him home? Just tell them "sorry we can't work from home today...be there at 5 to pick him up!"
    yeah, I don't know. I guess I am selfish in that I don't want to risk my job or license. I honestly have no idea what I would do if daycare called me to tell me to pick him up; if I had a solution, I wouldn;t have dropped him off in the first place. They are aware that he has a chest congestion, as I told them this morning at drop off. Go ahead and beat me up some more for this awful thing that I admitted that I did. 

    @achae our daycare has the same policy, which is why I gave him motrin. He woke up with a 99.6 fever, I gave him motrin, when we left, he no longer had a fever. Like I said to Twindling, I have no idea what I will do if daycare calls me today asking me to pick him up. 

    I'm with the other ladies here too. I'm student teaching right now and DH runs his own company and is the only employee. I am allowed to miss 3 days total. That's me being sick, my kids, doctors stuff, and so on. Well guess what, I have until Dec. to go and I've used my 3 days but you can bet your butt that if I KNOW my kid is sick and DH can't be home with them that day I'll be risking graduation, certification, and thousands of dollars in tuition to stay home until my kid is better. You have to find a way as a parent. If you can't even be bothered to stay home with your sick child now what are you going to do when this one arrives and you have two kids passing an illness back and forth?
    -///////--------------- ETA quote fail--------- Yep. Re: your last sentence; thank you for making me realize that I shouldn't have this second kid bc I couldn't stay home one particular day from work and instead my child went to daycare half the day and my husband watched him for half the day. But sarcasm aside, I hope you don't ever get judged on your parenting ability by others based on one action.
    It might not have been worded perfectly, but it may have been intended as a legitimate question (which, really, you opened yourself up to by sharing).  Twice as many kids = twice as much illness.  It would be good to get a plan in place before baby comes so that you don't feel like choosing your career over the health of other kids in the daycare and their parents' careers is your best option.  
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  • robinj716 said:
    Teakwood is the best candle scent.
    Leaves from Bath & Body Works....yummmmmm
    I loved the scented room oils Bath and Body Works used to sell. I'm disappointed they no longer carry them.
    I didn't know they stopped them, but I get mine from the Body Shop. The satsuma orange is what I use 90% of the time haha.
  • @notasycophant Thank you. I really appreciate it. 

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  • I was also going to suggest care.com. We subscribed after the OB incident with no children allowed at the sono room. Hope it works out for you!

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