I always thought I'd be a home owner by now...

qtpi145 · October 2015

I'm 10w 4d preggo with baby #2. My first is now 3, almost 4. My husband and I did not plan either pregnancy. I was busy planning our wedding which was 3 months away when I got pregnant with my first which really killed my wedding and honeymoon for me lol My biggest concern was that we were renting. I was horrified to think I'd be brining my lo home to someone else's house, well actually condo. Now we live in another state and rent a 3 bedroom house. I still hate the idea of brining lo home to a house that feels so not permanent. I know plenty of people rent and I'm grateful just to be able to afford as much as we have but it still stings a little every time another friend on fb takes a picture with their "sold" sign.

asunna · October 2015

You could be like me I have no choice but to rent the military moves us every few years from state to state

Never measures anyone's successes or failures to yourself

lalala2004 · October 2015

We're renting, too. Often it's the most financially responsible thing to do. It's better to rent than have a house you can't afford and end up in financial ruin for years. Ultimately we decided that we would rent a house and continue saving money for our own in the future. If we waited to have kids until we could afford a house, we'd just be getting older.

The idea that everyone needs to own a home, the whole "American Dream" is all commercialism. That's not what it takes to be happy. Renting has a lot of perks. When something goes wrong, it's usually the land lord's responsibility. Once you own a house, it's all on you. Count your blessings!

schicksal · October 2015

I wouldn't fault you for it in the slightest. For two years now real estate where I am has been horribly overpriced. The rental market is ugly too (also ugly for buying a rental unfortunately). Things are all out of whack... I'll keep my opinion of why quiet so prevent completely derailing the thread.

mariaalene · October 2015

Ug same. Houses in nj are rediculous. We moved into our 3br rental in July 2014 when I was pregnant with our first. And it's fine. It's nice enough. But I just hate that it's not mine. I didn't paint cuz I'd just have to paint it back (plus I was pregnant) so the walls are ugly and dirty. I didn't buy furniture cuz what if it doesn't fit in the house I buy. So we've got like a mish mosh of random furniture. The bathroom is pink tile everywhere and there's nothing I can do about it bc landlord won't do a bathroom remodel. I just don't want to spend my money fixing/furnishing someone else's house when I'm gonna be moving out (hopefully) in 1-2 years. I'm just trying to get by right now. I did buy curtains when we moved in so ppl wouldn't see me naked and stuff and I kinda did the nursery bc I didn't want to miss out on that. But I'm not spending another dime on this place. My bed broke during the move and I don't even want to buy a new one. Just been using mattress and box spring on the floor for the past year

saladflambe · October 2015

My area is super expensive, and most of my family members with young kidlets are renting. Their kids are happy, healthy, loved, well-adjusted, and juuuust fine

mrstmoose · October 2015

We are renting as well and plan on doing so for another 2 years to save up the right amount to buy our own home. Don't worry about "keeping up with the Jones'" because that will ruin you financially. As long as you and your kids are happy and healthy, you are doing fine.

Bluejay3030 · October 2015

saladflambe said:
My area is super expensive, and most of my family members with young kidlets are renting. Their kids are happy, healthy, loved, well-adjusted, and juuuust fine

Same is true in my area!

Comparing yourself to others (esp based on FB) is so not a good idea! FB definitely doesn't paint a full picture of people's successes or failures.

Jesse835235 · October 2015

Bluejay3030 said:

My area is super expensive, and most of my family members with young kidlets are renting. Their kids are happy, healthy, loved, well-adjusted, and juuuust fine
Same is true in my area! Comparing yourself to others (esp based on FB) is so not a good idea! FB definitely doesn't paint a full picture of people's successes or failures.

Exactly this! FB usually overstates successes and hardly everrrr mentions any failures. Such a distortion of reality.

mariaalene · October 2015

And so many ppl go into foreclosure these days. My husband bought a home to impress ppl and fit in but he could not afford it. Luckily he was able to sell it and it didn't go into foreclosure. He did take a little hit tho. He only had it for 2 years. Now looking at houses he wants a similar house and I'm like you know we can't afford something like that. You did it once and failed it's not gonna work this time either. But he's got to prove himself and what a success he is. And ppl certainly thought he was successful when he had the house. But they didn't know that he was struggling until he had to sell. So you never know by that nice photo of everyone smiling around the sold sign how life really is

caterin · October 2015

A house/apartment/condo is just a place to live. What's happening within those four walls is what makes it a home. Loving parents, quality time, just being together! Don't stress yourself! Your kid will feel home wherever you are, if that's in an apartment or a house. And you never know what life has in store for you! It might not happen right when you want it, but everything to its right time

schicksal · October 2015

mariaalene said:

The bathroom is pink tile everywhere and there's nothing I can do about it bc landlord won't do a bathroom remodel.

Jealous of the pink bathroom tile! We're un-renovating two of ours to be 1950s/minty green soon. Our place was built in 1959 and we've embraced its vintageness. They've been remodeled most recently 10 years ago and the workmanship was terrible. The floor tile is cracking and they replaced a built in hamper and vanity cabinets with only a pedestal sink, but we got lucky and scored "new" fixtures in green!

kbrands7 · October 2015

schicksal said:

mariaalene said:

The bathroom is pink tile everywhere and there's nothing I can do about it bc landlord won't do a bathroom remodel.

Jealous of the pink bathroom tile! We're un-renovating two of ours to be 1950s/minty green soon. Our place was built in 1959 and we've embraced its vintageness. They've been remodeled most recently 10 years ago and the workmanship was terrible. The floor tile is cracking and they replaced a built in hamper and vanity cabinets with only a pedestal sink, but we got lucky and scored "new" fixtures in green!

Love this. We have a 50s pink and light blue bathroom that we just can't afford to renovate yet because the other bathroom was more pressing (seriously, this thing looked like a murder room...). In the meantime, I took some inspiration from the funky color combos in Miami and paired it with charcoal gray paint and black & white/ pastel accents. It actually looks alright in the meantime.

As far as renting goes, there are so many factors that impact whether to own or rent. Each family should do what makes the most sense for them and the assumption that one option is inherently better than the other for everyone is ridiculous.

gooberdoofus95 · October 2015

Don't read to much into the whole owning your own house! Mostly because if something breaks you have to fix it!! We searched for a home for 1.5 years and we actually found out home on FB of all places lol. We wanted to settle down and it was in the location we wanted as well as near our family. Luckily because my husband is military we didn't have to put money down we just had to pay closing cost which honestly wasn't that much mostly because we went with a lawyer instead of a realitor. People rent in our area anywhere from 900-1400 a month with deposits and NO animals so buying was much cheaper than renting. We got really lucky but that doesn't make me any better than you or that my children will be better than yours! Be happy you are able to provide a roof over your families head and food on the table! You will get there when you are ready!

schicksal · October 2015

kbrands7 said:

schicksal said:

mariaalene said:

The bathroom is pink tile everywhere and there's nothing I can do about it bc landlord won't do a bathroom remodel.

Jealous of the pink bathroom tile! We're un-renovating two of ours to be 1950s/minty green soon. Our place was built in 1959 and we've embraced its vintageness. They've been remodeled most recently 10 years ago and the workmanship was terrible. The floor tile is cracking and they replaced a built in hamper and vanity cabinets with only a pedestal sink, but we got lucky and scored "new" fixtures in green!

Love this. We have a 50s pink and light blue bathroom that we just can't afford to renovate yet because the other bathroom was more pressing (seriously, this thing looked like a murder room...). In the meantime, I took some inspiration from the funky color combos in Miami and paired it with charcoal gray paint and black & white/ pastel accents. It actually looks alright in the meantime.

As far as renting goes, there are so many factors that impact whether to own or rent. Each family should do what makes the most sense for them and the assumption that one option is inherently better than the other for everyone is ridiculous.

That color combo rocks! Love the mosaic tile on the floor too. While redoing the landscaping in the front yard I found bits and pieces of what one of our 2 original bathrooms looked like and it had the same pattern. I swear I read on Retro Renovation or somewhere that Daltile makes a few vintage colors but I have a feeling finding the right stuff will be fun. Can't wait to do it, that bathroom is hardly functional enough to keep a litter box in.

qtpi145 · October 2015

Thanks for all the responses. I posted this as sort of a confession because I'm embarrassed to tell anyone for the most part. I don't know, maybe it's just having grown up in NY that makes me feel like there is a stigma with renting.
Like I said, I am grateful for my living situation but I can't say it doesn't sting.

I didn't mean to offend anyone with my comment not do I have any sense of entitlement whatsoever. You are all right in saying that what makes a happy home is not a house and again, I know that logically but it takes the rest of me a while to catch up with my brain.

chottomotto · October 2015

I'd really like to add that while social media enables us to compare our lives to our friends, family members, and acquaintances, most people are Image Crafting. Their Facebook only shows what they want you to see. It's like a museum: only the best of the best, with all their struggles and failures entirely out of sight.

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