Maybe an unpopular opinion...

paytoningle · October 2015

I'm pretty new to The Bump, but I can't help but notice how rude so many people are when it comes to baby names others are choosing. It seems that if a name has any originality at all, it's immediately shot down. I've noticed a lot of you are really cutting down "trendy" names and stating classic names as your preference, but it seems to me classic is the new trendy.

Sorry, just don't feel like it's necessary to cut down names people are considering for their children. Especially when I ready something along the lines of "how could you do that to your child?".

I thought this was a place we could support each other in our own personal journeys! You never know the sentiment or reasoning behind a name someone has chosen, originality is beautiful.

wassuphoes · October 2015

paytoningle said:
I'm pretty new to The Bump, but I can't help but notice how rude so many people are when it comes to baby names others are choosing. It seems that if a name has any originality at all, it's immediately shot down. I've noticed a lot of you are really cutting down "trendy" names and stating classic names as your preference, but it seems to me classic is the new trendy.

Sorry, just don't feel like it's necessary to cut down names people are considering for their children. Especially when I ready something along the lines of "how could you do that to your child?".

I thought this was a place we could support each other in our own personal journeys! You never know the sentiment or reasoning behind a name someone has chosen, originality is beautiful.

This will end well.

jessilee15 · October 2015

I'll go first...the goal of this forum is not to be supportive. It's to give constructive feedback. People who know you might say "oh that's nice" when you want to name your baby Sapphyre Princesse R'ayn because they're polite. But the internet strangers figure that if you are asking here, you want to know their honest first impression. The only real rule, in my opinion, is that you don't criticize kids that have already been named. But if something atrocious is suggested, I think you're doing the unborn baby a favor by helping guide their parents in the right direction, especially if they care enough to post on here and ask for feedback. If you don't want honest advice, don't ask

kayway85 · October 2015

I actually really appreciate the honest feedback I've gotton from this board. And yes, I agree that regular participants do not encourage "original" names that will ultimately lead to the child being unfairly judged their entire lives for, and I don't have a problem with that.

If you don't like the advice and general tone of the board, you don't have to participate. I doubt given the condescension in your post here, your opinion will be missed.

paytoningle · October 2015

I completely understand if a name is just absolutely ridiculous, but I've seen so many people really criticizing beautiful names just because they're a little different from the norm, I guess, in my opinion, it just feels pretty harsh for some people to be so rude.

VitaLuna · October 2015

The people that get the most out of this board are the people want honest feedback... To know what people will think of your LOs name, good or bad. If you don't care what other people think, there's no point in asking in the first place.

Miss Lilac · October 2015

Mmkay.

wassuphoes · October 2015

paytoningle said:
I completely understand if a name is just absolutely ridiculous, but I've seen so many people really criticizing beautiful names just because they're a little different from the norm, I guess, in my opinion, it just feels pretty harsh for some people to be so rude.

It's more constructive to call out specific comments rather than a general post trashing everyone on the board. All this will get you is a post it and a closed thread for violating TOU.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

breezycat · October 2015

This board is going to tell you what everyone in real life is thinking but is to polite to say to your face. Originally is not always beautiful. Zippy Uranus is original but is it beautiful (we all remember baby Zapp I assume?)

KaLikeAWind · October 2015

I would like to see an example of this / these "really beautiful" names being criticized. Who's with me?

wassuphoes · October 2015

mellymar said:
I would like to see an example of this / these "really beautiful" names being criticized. Who's with me?

Bexxleena is totes beautiful and anyone who doesn't think so is rude! Why won't you support me, people I've never interacted before with? Support means you tell me I have the bestest taste and am fabulous and that my poop smells like roses. Anything less than awe and adoration is RUDE!!!!!!!!

myparkers7 · October 2015

The "regulars" here on the bump are name nazi's and bully's. I threw out my daughters name to see how many would bash it and it was ripped to shreds. I named her 19 years ago as a 19 year old single mom. And was told she would grow up to be a dumb girl with no real intelligence with that name. Everything from her resume to her future as a teen mom were talked about! 20 something comments saying nothing but hatefulness!! PATHETIC!! Please tell me how this is constructive!?? It's not...
By the way she grew up to be one of kindest, compassionate, smartest young women I know. She is on a fast track in college to became and elementary teacher and works as a para professional with special needs children. What a loser Right....

DutchLucyLu · October 2015

wassuphoes said: I would like to see an example of this / these "really beautiful" names being criticized. Who's with me? Bexxleena is totes beautiful and anyone who doesn't think so is rude! Why won't you support me, people I've never interacted before with? Support means you tell me I have the bestest taste and am fabulous and that my poop smells like roses. Anything less than awe and adoration is RUDE!!!!!!!!

-------------------------------------------quote box fail----------------------------------------
Hold up, hold up - you mean your poop doesn't smell like roses!? :O

@myparkers7, please don't compare people giving their honest opinion about a name to nazi's. Very, very uncool. Also, I really need to know your daughter's name now.

ETA: I read the thread. Your daughter's name was not 'torn to shreds'. If you don't want opinions, don't ask for it. The 'rudest' thing that was said was that it sounded like a name from Teen Mom and - hey - you were a teenager when you named her.

jessielynn1 · October 2015

Loucasey Ambur Navi. There's a reason why people say don't name your kid that. It's because common sense isn't always so common. AndPlusAlso if your asking for opinions you shouldn't do so if you only want to hear how great the name you chose is.

myparkers7 · October 2015

I suppose you skipped over the ones that said they worried about her intelligence, the incredibly tacky meems, the teacher that said her student was lovely and wish a less horrid name for her... Name Nazi is a perfect example of what happens in this board the only ones with positive feed back are the very very trendy older generation names anything else get the "side eye" or punished to death with awful remarks and snarky attitudes! The only reason I checked back in here is to hopefully see some kinder people, but nope still the old hateful BS.

Miss Lilac · October 2015

Disliking a name does not make a person unkind. Personally, I think lying to a mother-to-be about your thoughts on a name is unkind. If you can't handle the honesty and love your daughter's name so much then why on earth do you continue to check in? If I had enough time to sporadically perform little experiments like you've done I'd be putting my energy into picking up some sort of awesome new hobby, not trolling TB.

wassuphoes · October 2015

myparkers7 said:

I suppose you skipped over the ones that said they worried about her intelligence, the incredibly tacky meems, the teacher that said her student was lovely and wish a less horrid name for her... Name Nazi is a perfect example of what happens in this board the only ones with positive feed back are the very very trendy older generation names anything else get the "side eye" or punished to death with awful remarks and snarky attitudes! The only reason I checked back in here is to hopefully see some kinder people, but nope still the old hateful BS.

Lol.

"OMG people thought critical things about my name choice! They totally are the same as genocidal fascists."

Great logic.

Miss Lilac · October 2015

wassuphoes said:

myparkers7 said:

I suppose you skipped over the ones that said they worried about her intelligence, the incredibly tacky meems, the teacher that said her student was lovely and wish a less horrid name for her... Name Nazi is a perfect example of what happens in this board the only ones with positive feed back are the very very trendy older generation names anything else get the "side eye" or punished to death with awful remarks and snarky attitudes! The only reason I checked back in here is to hopefully see some kinder people, but nope still the old hateful BS.

Lol.

"OMG people thought critical things about my name choice! They totally are the same as genocidal fascists."

Great logic.

Name change! wassupnazis.

Is that even allowed? Lol.

wassuphoes · October 2015

Miss Lilac said:

myparkers7 said:

I suppose you skipped over the ones that said they worried about her intelligence, the incredibly tacky meems, the teacher that said her student was lovely and wish a less horrid name for her... Name Nazi is a perfect example of what happens in this board the only ones with positive feed back are the very very trendy older generation names anything else get the "side eye" or punished to death with awful remarks and snarky attitudes! The only reason I checked back in here is to hopefully see some kinder people, but nope still the old hateful BS.

Lol.

"OMG people thought critical things about my name choice! They totally are the same as genocidal fascists."

Great logic.
Name change! wassupnazis. Is that even allowed? Lol.

Terrible me wants to try.....But every other part of me realizes that using the word Nazi for anything not actually Nazis is pretty disrespectful to everyone who suffered at their hands.

Miss Lilac · October 2015

@wassuphoes Yes, only a terrible part of me found that funny. I just couldn't help myself. My husband's inappropriate sense of humor has totally rubbed off on me. I've even come up with another one as I've browsed. I'm awful!

brambles1 · October 2015

@myparkers7 Calling other posters "Nazis" is extremely offensive to people like me who are the descendants of those who managed to survived the oppressive regime of Nazi Germany.

Comparing someone, who in an anonymous online forum, has a dissenting opinion about a name you chose 19 years ago to an entire group of people capable of the most dehumanizing and abominable acts in history is a ridiculous.

We are all adults and entitled to our opinions. You may not have a choice in the feedback you get but you do have a choice in how you respond. If you don't like the feedback you get, don't participate. If you are that thin skinned, maybe you need find a board that is sunshine and rainbows or stay off the internet in general.

ambercakes92 · October 2015

Posts like these are against the TOU, so I'm sure this will be closed soon. But I just have to say, and I mean this sincerely -- if you don't care for the way people interact on this board, there are other websites to choose from.

virginiaunicorn11 · October 2015

myparkers7 said:
Name Nazi is a perfect example of what happens in this board

I did not realize people on this board were rounding up innocent people and making lampshades out of their skin. That's one example of what Nazis did. You know what's not an example of what Nazis did? Use memes on a message board.

Have some freaking awareness. You got called out for ignorantly using Nazi analogies, and yet you defend it? Hopefully your brilliant daughter got her values elsewhere if she's teaching children.

KaLikeAWind · October 2015

myparkers7 said:
I suppose you skipped over the ones that said they worried about her intelligence, the incredibly tacky meems, the teacher that said her student was lovely and wish a less horrid name for her... Name Nazi is a perfect example of what happens in this board the only ones with positive feed back are the very very trendy older generation names anything else get the "side eye" or punished to death with awful remarks and snarky attitudes! The only reason I checked back in here is to hopefully see some kinder people, but nope still the old hateful BS.

I just came back from hunting this thread down and yeah, the worst of the lot was that people said it sounded teen mom. I was specifically looking for one that worried about her intelligence, and didn't see one. The teacher who wished a girl had a different name was actually complimenting that child and expressing an opinion that she didn't like the name on that child. And yes, while traditional names are best received here, uncommon names are not always slammed. People will say the name is NMS, which is not the same as being slammed. Unless it's an uncommonly bad idea.
Completely inappropriate name calling aside, you're also totally stretching the truth in your statement above

myparkers7 · October 2015

Yep you all are right as usual. My children are kind, compassionate human beings that came from a horrible wretched mother. I'm also super glad you all learned something from history because in no way are your comments dehumanizing or belittling. I don't troll I completely deleted this app, but instantly regretted when I read this post and saw the comments. I'm not one to stand by and let people tear down others so I said something. Clearly I should have kept my words to myself.

Linsbins · October 2015

Op- Wow. I'm a teacher and I frequently have children at school who are have odd names. These names are talked about and some of those children become infamous within our school. We are giving our honest opinions on these names, and yes, sometimes people here seem rude. However, that's what people will really think behind your back, and at least we will say it.

@myparkers7- I briefly looked through your post history, as much as I could on mobile, and more than half of what you say is fighting with people.

wassuphoes · October 2015

myparkers7 said:

Yep you all are right as usual. My children are kind, compassionate human beings that came from a horrible wretched mother. I'm also super glad you all learned something from history because in no way are your comments dehumanizing or belittling. I don't troll I completely deleted this app, but instantly regretted when I read this post and saw the comments. I'm not one to stand by and let people tear down others so I said something. Clearly I should have kept my words to myself.

Look, I'm not interested in having an argument over whether or not your daughter, that none of us know, is a good person or not. Real life has shown many of us that good people can have bad parents and vice versa.

On the Bump, we snark. Your post, wasn't even on the heavy side of snark. Hell, multiple people said they liked the name, just not the spelling. If you don't want any sort of negative criticism, there are plenty of places to find that on the internet, this isn't one of them.

But you can sit down with that holier than thou attitude. There is nothing kind and compassionate about any of your posts. Super nice of you to completely ignore the multiple people who said they liked the name, just not the spelling. Super nice of you to accuse everyone on the board of being nazi's and bullies. It was also super nice of you to fly off the handle when someone informed you that some people take offense to using sex and gender interchangeably. For someone who is so kind and compassionate, you sure do seem to do a lot of telling people you are instead of actually being it.

missemmawoodhouse · October 2015

I'm just here to love tit everything (minus the nazi stuff - are you serious @myparkers7?).

BNB4EVA

myparkers7 · October 2015

Funny thing is none of you know me and I am very thankful for that. I'm well educated, I know social morals, I know compassion and empathy, I'm not holier than thou, I do know when I am right and when I am wrong. When I am wrong I admit it and find ways to improve myself. My wrongness is that I was very naive to the fact that women actually support one another and others have a kind regard for one another. I was wrong about that. It's very clear that these board push my boundaries and bring out the worse in me. I can't stand snarky, hateful attitudes especially when they gang up together. I don't care whether you think I'm a crappy mom, a bad person, a combative person or any other vile thing you concoct about me in your head. By the way I reached out to GLADD after that entire situation and shared some the posts on that thread (mine as well as others) and they explained to me where I was wrong, but also agreed that the others were being unreasonable and bullying. They also suggested that I report behavior like that the auorities. Once again I will be deleting this app and try to completely shut down my account.

nurse714 · October 2015

Ok. Bye, bye @myparkers7.

wassuphoes · October 2015

myparkers7 said:

Funny thing is none of you know me and I am very thankful for that. I'm well educated, I know social morals, I know compassion and empathy, I'm not holier than thou, I do know when I am right and when I am wrong. When I am wrong I admit it and find ways to improve myself. My wrongness is that I was very naive to the fact that women actually support one another and others have a kind regard for one another. I was wrong about that. It's very clear that these board push my boundaries and bring out the worse in me. I can't stand snarky, hateful attitudes especially when they gang up together. I don't care whether you think I'm a crappy mom, a bad person, a combative person or any other vile thing you concoct about me in your head. By the way I reached out to GLADD after that entire situation and shared some the posts on that thread (mine as well as others) and they explained to me where I was wrong, but also agreed that the others were being unreasonable and bullying. They also suggested that I report behavior like that the auorities. Once again I will be deleting this app and try to completely shut down my account.

No, your wrongness (If what you write about yourself is true) is that despite your education, you do a very poor job of expressing yourself as a kind, compassionate individual. Which is really surprising for someone who claims to be well educated and accustomed to writing reports/essays.

I highly doubt you talked to GLADD, given that this is your second GBCB/I'm deleting this app, I'm pretty sure you're just trolling for lolz. Which again, super kind and compassionate.

GracieHart · October 2015

Support doesn't always come as agreement or telling a person what they want to hear. Support can also be constructive critiscm and offering different perspectives.
@myparkers7 I haven't seen one ounce of this compassion and kindness that you speak of coming from you. If this board causes you so much headache, no one is forcing you to keep coming back.

virginiaunicorn11 · October 2015

myparkers7 said:
I know social morals, I know compassion and empathy, I'm not holier than thou, I do know when I am right and when I am wrong. When I am wrong I admit it and find ways to improve myself.

Any time you want to admit you were wrong to call people Nazis, I'm listening. Otherwise, move right along with your self-righteous BS.
(Deleting this app my ass. You are a self-admitted troll.)

nackie · October 2015

GracieHart said:

Support doesn't always come as agreement or telling a person what they want to hear. Support can also be constructive critiscm and offering different perspectives.

When I posted looking for advice about girl names, the names we were considering weren't super well liked. I really appreciated the feedback and it was much easier to hear that criticism from strangers than it would have been from loved ones. Picking a name is hard and it's always nice to have an anonymous place to figure out if you're on the right track. If you come to these board looking for unquestioning agreement, you'll be disappointed, but if you're looking for honest and thoughtful opinions, you'll get that.

magsugar13 · October 2015

Echo Zapp is that you? :-@

missemmawoodhouse · October 2015

myparkers7 said:
The "regulars" here on the bump are name nazi's and bully's. I threw out my daughters name to see how many would bash it and it was ripped to shreds. I named her 19 years ago as a 19 year old single mom. And was told she would grow up to be a dumb girl with no real intelligence with that name. Everything from her resume to her future as a teen mom were talked about! 20 something comments saying nothing but hatefulness!! PATHETIC!! Please tell me how this is constructive!?? It's not...
By the way she grew up to be one of kindest, compassionate, smartest young women I know. She is on a fast track in college to became and elementary teacher and works as a para professional with special needs children. What a loser Right....

Here's the original thread for anyone mobile:
https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/comment/87737808#Comment_87737808

Miss Lilac · October 2015

My wrongness is that I was very naive to the fact that women actually support one another and others have a kind regard for one another.

You know what's hilarious? Basically every other woman on this thread is very supportive of one another's distaste for you and your thoughtless comments. You're the just odd one out. Tough break.

magsugar13 · October 2015

missemmawoodhouse said:

The "regulars" here on the bump are name nazi's and bully's. I threw out my daughters name to see how many would bash it and it was ripped to shreds. I named her 19 years ago as a 19 year old single mom. And was told she would grow up to be a dumb girl with no real intelligence with that name. Everything from her resume to her future as a teen mom were talked about! 20 something comments saying nothing but hatefulness!! PATHETIC!! Please tell me how this is constructive!?? It's not... By the way she grew up to be one of kindest, compassionate, smartest young women I know. She is on a fast track in college to became and elementary teacher and works as a para professional with special needs children. What a loser Right....
Here's the original thread for anyone mobile: https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/comment/87737808#Comment_87737808

All those responses were dead on! I guess educated does not mean one can spell.

GracieHart · October 2015

Yeah, the responses you got were not bad. If you weren't ready to hear honest opinions, perhaps you shouldn't have asked.

I actually don't mind the name, we named our cat Macy after Macey Gray the singer. I just don't care for your spelling choice.

BumpAdmin · October 2015

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