Find out the sex or wait?

ashwahh · August 2015

Hi everyone! My husband and I are pregnant with our first child, we are both keen to wait until birth to find out the gender but I am worried about logistics - will there be enough gender neutral clothing? (everything seems very gender skewed) What are cute nursery ideas that are gender neutral? And will I be able to keep it a secret from myself at ultrasounds? It would be great to hear how people who have waited have tackled these things, and thoughts on waiting and not waiting, thanks in advance!

ekneipp · August 2015

We didn't wait to find out, but a good friend of mine did and they did a cute elephant theme. She managed pretty well with gender neutral things, but she did tell me when they have #2 they will likely find out beforehand.

medforthesoul · August 2015

We are totally impatient so waiting has never even been a thought for us. The way I look at it, it'll be a huge surprise either way. I will say though, as a medical professional who has delivered quite a few babies, the "surprise sex" deliveries are always a huge thrill.

ellie1138 · August 2015

We didn't find out for our first one and it was so exciting to hear the doctor announce that it was a boy! We did a farm animal theme with primary colors that could work either way. There are enough gender neutral clothes to get you through at least the first 3 months, no problem. I just kindly reminded the ultrasound tech each time that we want a surprise so she was careful to stay away from that area. I love surprises and my doctor compared it to handing someone a present and telling them what is in it before they get a chance to open it. I strongly recommend waiting if you can!!!

MrsCayEye · August 2015

We didn't find out with DS and we're planning not to with this one either. Our nursery is moons and stars, easy enough to make neutral. We had no issue finding newborn and 0-3 clothes that were neutral too. During my labor and delivery the whole staff was so excited to find out with us, it made it such a cool experience.

mumidi · August 2015

We waited with DD and as others have said it was awesome. I highly recommended it for your first. We received a lot a gender neutral clothes (enough for the first few months at least) but didn't receive a ton of clothes, which I was happy about. I don't always like what others pick out in regards to clothes. Also we received alot of our "bigger" items we needed, like the swing, bouncer, pack and play, etc. Once she was born people visited and still brought girl clothes. Also the Drs. and nurses were super excited for the surprise.

This time we'll find out to try that side of it.

GridIronGrrl34 · August 2015

I don't know how people do this, it would make me crazy!

That said, I don't think you'll have a problem finding a nice gender-neutral theme for your nursery. I've seen some super cute ones. I disagree a tad about the clothes though... I've been looking for some cute gender neutral outfits as a way to tell my parents we're pregnant, and at Target yesterday for example there was literally one set of onesies in the 0-3m size that was gender neutral. Literally everything else is either definitely girl or boy.

I definitely think you an pull it off though and really we kept DS in a lot of gowns for easy changing when he was newborn anyway. Good luck!

attagirl1113 · August 2015

My husband and I discussed doing this since we have a boy and a girl already. He likes the idea better than I do. I am somewhat OCD with planning and such.... good luck

PeggyOlsonFTW · August 2015

I chose to find out and will again, but I have noticed that when a mom to be doesn't find out the sex, she gets A LOT of stuff that she actually registered for from her baby registry! When your shower guests know the gender, they tend to buy a lot of clothing for baby (at least at the showers I've been to). So getting the stuff you actually want and need is a big plus of not knowing the gender!

pinottoparenthood · August 2015

Honestly I don't think you should go too overboard on the clothes initially anyway. When they're really little they mainly wear sleepers, but you don't even know what you like there... Does your baby like to be swaddled? Maybe your baby will sleep in a light onesie. You may discover that you hate snaps (yes). We discovered by fluke that we loved gowns. And you will want to buy much more after baby is born, esp if you didn't find out the sex in advance! The good thing people might not buy you ten million generic carters outfits in pink or blue if they don't know the sex. So I say don't even worry on the clothes front! Plus you never know what size /season your kiddo will be.

I would love to wait to find out because I think it would be such an amazing experience to find out at birth, but I don't think either my husband or myself is patient enough to go through with it!

emiliothetall · August 2015

Man, I am not a waiter! I had very specific nursery plans based on sex for my first and I do again.

But aside from that logistic, I really found it much easier to connect, (or maybe the word is bond?) When I knew my guy was indeed my guy.

Also, I had a c section under general, and so I would have been one of the last to find out! That would have been the worst!

[Deleted User] · August 2015

We waited with our first, tho I was convinced she was a girl the entire time... And I was right. This one we aren't sure... A gender reveal would be cute with our three year old but I'm still kinda on the fence.

klingonboxer · August 2015

We are having a bit of a debate in my household because I want to find out whenever we can, but my husband wants to wait! I'll bring him around, though... or I'll find out and promise not to tell him

Either way, we are doing all gender-neutral clothes and accessories (and won't be revealing the sex until after they're born) so that will hopefully minimize the gendered-clothing issue. There's plenty of adorable gender-neutral stuff out there!

brittonlin · August 2015

Waiting!

rel1988 · August 2015

Haven't decided yet!! DH wants to find out and I'm thinking I want to be team Green.

littleredx2 · August 2015

We've done both, found out with both DS1 and DS2, delivery room surprise with DS3. We are undecided which route to take this time as we've enjoyed both. Our nursery for DS3 is grey, white, blue and lime . We added the blue and lime accents after he was born so could have easily incorporated pink or the like if he had been a girl.

ashleymarie1027 · August 2015

We waited last time and I loved it! Not knowing the sex just meant we got other useful things from people as gifts instead of clothes.

For our nursery, we did animals and fish - top half of room (sky blue) with animals vs bottom half of room (navy blue) with fish. All the fabric details are gray, green and yellow. We bought all the animals/fish decals from etsy - they are really colorful and would go with either boy or girl. Our son is 13 months now and LOVEs looking at all the decals

KatieG2013 · August 2015

DH and I are planners, so I think it will kill us if we don't find out! Not sure if we will tell others, or keep it to ourselves.

Marettie · August 2015

We didn't find out with our girls, but may this time. DH says he may need time to prepare for 3 girls! Lol

Julesby · August 2015

I promised DH we would wait, but he's starting to waver, so we'll see.

It sounds like there is a definite upside to waiting, aside from the surprise, in that you receive the things you truly need at showers.

I've also found a bunch of great ideas for gender neutral nurseries with pops of color that I like.

ashwahh · August 2015

Thank you so much for all of your feedback! We have decided definitely to wait!

orangegoggles · August 2015

This is something we are wrestling with too. In theory I want to be surprised...its going to be our last baby and since I've already been through it once I know you really don't need much in the beginning. Buuuut there is a part of me that just wants to know so I can figure out what room the baby is going and where DS is going, paint if needed, etc. Plus I think it might help DS connect if we knew one way or the other.

chantzies · August 2015

We waited for our first though I knew in my heart it was a boy. In fact, I only had a boy's name picked out.
His bedroom was grey and white with a green rug on the floor. It would have suited either gender. Clothing was green, yellow, purple, white, red and plentiful. It was never a problem to not have known ahead of time and it certainly added to the surprise on birth day!

cryscaulfld · August 2015

We've decided to do a gender reveal party mainly because our families are out of town and this would be a cute way for them to be involved. They can either come in for the party or we will skype with them during the event so that they can see. I'm a huge planner and just want to know. We're going with a Dr. Seuss themed nursery which is definitely gender neutral.

OpheliaChem · August 2015

With my two girls, I found out. I'm a planner and the thought of not knowing would have been too much!

akb1125 · August 2015

Definitely finding out! I already have a son so I figure if my second is a girl, I'll be surprised for the third.

yodiggity · August 2015

We are going to find out because I am impatient. I am wrestling with the idea of not telling anyone else until the baby is born but I don't know if daddy will be ok with not telling his folks.

Carazona5 · August 2015

I have to find out!!! I don't understand how people don't. But that's because I don't like gender neutral stuff. I want pink or blue.

JChap416 · August 2015

This is our first as well and we want to wait, but I'm afraid my curiosity will get the best of me. I'm going to try to hold out as long as possible.

wils0482 · August 2015

We were team green with #1, and found out with #2. I prefer to stay team green, so that's what we will do for this one.

KrisAshLindsey · August 2015

We waited with ds1 and found out with ds2. Now the third time around we are going to have the surprise again. It was more exciting trying to guess and having that surprise. We had plenty of neutral clothes to get us through and we had the shower after he was here so people could buy gender specific things.

NessaR003 · September 2015

We decided to wait. We have been struggling to get pregnant for years and feel like this is our little miracle. To us gender neutral is not bad since we will be happy with either a healthy son or daughter.

Lmring20 · October 2015

We waited until birth to find out with our first and will do the same this time as well. Honestly people always told me "I don't know how you do it. I'm such a planner!" Well to be frank all babies need the same basic things the first three months of life. Knowing the gender doesn't really help you plan much more than you would had you not known. There is plenty of gender neutral things. (We did mint green, gray and cream for the nursery and did a vintage bambi theme) go with what you feel in your heart!

mommymeyer2233 · October 2015

The way me and my husband looked at it was that it is a suprise either way. Either you wait and you are suprise in the delivery room or you get the sonogram and you are suprised in that moment. I am a person that has to be able to plan for things so we knew before the birth but it is really up to if you need to plan or if you are more laid back and can wait.

eastdurian · October 2015

I really don't think it would be all that difficult to stay team green. That being said, DH & I have zero intentions of being team green. Birthing DD was enough of a surprise that I'm glad I already knew she was a girl and we had a name picked out that we'd been calling her for 18 weeks at that point.

RoseShadow873 · October 2015

I think finding out will help me better prepare. I would at least be able to call it "he" or "she" instead of "it" for the remainder of the pregnancy.

mrslottiemartin · October 2015

We will be waiting for a surprise! We already have one of each so no preference to what number 3 will be.. Plus, we want some sort of surprise; I already know roughly how the labour will go having done it twice so we really want something to look forward to. I'm hoping that I won't have any inklings beforehand or to accidentally see something on the scan - I genuinely want no idea until he/she is born. Very exciting ... Only 28weeks until we find out! Haha

elasticheart13 · October 2015

I would not have the nerves to wait until birth. I will love my baby regardless of the gender and I am not fond of the whole "pink for girls/blue for boys" theme so I will be going for neutral colors as well. I'd just love knowing so I can plan for names and know whether to call baby he or she while pregnant

BrittnyS10 · October 2015

Team green for DH and I! I think we can handle the anticipation. And there is so much drama in our families about boy vs girl and we dont want any part of it during this pregnancy. Being pregnant is stressful enough, i dont need family making comments about "too bad its not a ___, you wont be able to___." Also, a little part of me is thrilled to piss off my MIL because she more than anyone else wants to know what it will be. Shes being kinda nasty about it already. Not your baby = not your business making that decision.

DanelleJo · October 2015

For nursery theme ideas; we're currently trying to decide between classic pooh bear and Peter rabbit for our gender neutral nursery.

amandac12581 · October 2015

I'm going Team Green, although DH will know the sex of the baby. He says he needs to mentally prepare lol. The family won't know that he knows, so no one can harass him about it. I found a beautiful moon and stars themed nursery set that's cream, gray, and yellow which we both love so that works out. @DanelleJo I was looking at the classic pooh bear set as well, it's so cute!

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