Talking to husbands/partners about TTC

Kstu728 · October 2015

Do any of your husbands/partners get annoyed when you talk to them about temping, charting, ovulating, symptoms, etc;?

goldie987 · October 2015

My husband tends to just zone out and then at the end make some remark about how girls are weird. I found out the hard way that letting him know that I am close to O was a bad idea as it gave him a bit of performance anxiety for a few days so that will be the end of that.

sorarose · October 2015

DH only gets annoyed when I'm negative about the whole process. I hide under the covers to take temp, so it doesn't wake him. Otherwise, he's using this time to take advantage of all the sex.

FloridaStanley · October 2015

Kstu728 said:
Do any of your husbands/partners get annoyed when you talk to them about temping, charting, ovulating, symptoms, etc;?

Mine doesn't really listen when I tell him these things. That's what my bump girls are for!

tinypikachu · October 2015

I talk to him about it but he'll say that we don't need to do all we're doing to get ku or will dismiss me as being overly strategic or cautious. I think he was expecting us to for sure be ku on the first try so the bfn seems to have opened his mind.

Eta: he's now at the point where he just listens to me rant and changes the subject after I'm done

Bababatty · October 2015

Mine doesn't like it if he thinks I'm stressing about it, but he generally seems receptive to discussing ways we can maximize our chances.

Lulucooks · October 2015

Kstu728 said:
Do any of your husbands/partners get annoyed when you talk to them about temping, charting, ovulating, symptoms, etc;?

No he doesnt. We can talk about anything and since this thing takes two he should be as aware of the process as I am. I don't discuss symptoms though because the only one that counts is a BFP so until that happens there's no need to talk about it.

MamaBish · October 2015

Not annoyed. He's cool with it.

gonetothesea · October 2015

My husband is actually really interested in it.

jhems776 · October 2015

It's a fine line for him. He will talk about it up to a point and then too much and changes the subject. Since we started TTC he has been more interested as time has passed. We know several couples that have tried for two years plus and he likes that I am actively tracking everything and not NTNP.

PrimRoseMama · October 2015

Kstu728 said:

Do any of your husbands/partners get annoyed when you talk to them about temping, charting, ovulating, symptoms, etc;?

No. Generally he is pretty interested, but he loves biology and medical stuff. So, it doesn't weird him out or affect his ability to perform. If your husband doesn't like talking about the details then don't tell him.

babyexpress · October 2015

Sgoldberg247 said:
My husband tends to just zone out and then at the end make some remark about how girls are weird. I found out the hard way that letting him know that I am close to O was a bad idea as it gave him a bit of performance anxiety for a few days so that will be the end of that.

^^^this...glad I'm not the only one.

hunnybunny17 · October 2015

Kstu728 said:

Do any of your husbands/partners get annoyed when you talk to them about temping, charting, ovulating, symptoms, etc;?

DH doesn't get annoyed, but I don't talk to him much about it. He's not really interested in the finer details. However, he's the one that symptom spots. "You're nauseous? You must be KTFU!" Sorry, no. Haven't even Od yet.

aloha5736 · October 2015

My DH at first was like really iffy on the subject. He wanted to try, but deep down inside he was freaked. First month he literally couldn't "perform" on FW time. He was just so freaked out about becoming a parent. Then over the last few months, he's been totally interested and now I can even tell him about my temps. He won't ask me, but when I pull out the thermometer he doesn't look at me like WTH are you doing??? Haha. DH would be grossed if I told him anymore, so I find leaving him in the dark is better

jojomama25 · October 2015

DH is actually really interested - he likes going over my charts with me, and know what's going on. Sometimes he even asks to fill it out for me. Hes been like that since I started charting a long time ago. He feels like its his way of "helping" since physically a lot of this is on me. I think it's sweet, he's just as excited as I am for our future kids.

misshopeful1 · October 2015

My DH is awesome. He doesn't claim to understand just how I feel but he listens and let's me cry/vent. He's been wonderful. He wants a baby badly as well. We talk about O, CM, you name it.

MEA0320 · October 2015

My DH has been amazing during this whole process. At first when I started charting/temping he didn't really care for the details. But after I had him watch "The Great Sperm Race" he now checks on me all the time; asking questions like "what was your temp today?" "are we getting close to the window?" He also started to track our sex pattern to make sure we're not HIO too much or too little. He's been such a great support and I'm glad we're on the same page with all of this.

Kballew10 · October 2015

DH is not really annoyed, but not really that interested either. He asked me to explain everything when I told him I bought a BBT, but he seems to be more relaxed with less information. He has brothers that both had no issues with getting their wives KTFU on the first try, a friend who's wife can't have children, and a friend who did IVF due to his wife's medical situation, so he doesn't really have anybody to relate to/talk to about the in-between, which is where we are now. He listens to me, but is seems to make him nervous, so I vent/talk on TB instead! He knows that there's a FW though and he is all about BD-ing as much as possible... at least he remembered one thing!

sldp123 · October 2015

My H is actually pretty interested in it and wants to know what's going on. But at the same time I don't think he really gets it. I have explained the temping process to him a few times, so now he'll ask what my temp was sometimes then be like, "oh that's a good temp" but he has no idea, lol.

nuttymask · October 2015

He keeps saying it'll happen

Schumerator · October 2015

hunnybunny17 said:

Kstu728 said:

Do any of your husbands/partners get annoyed when you talk to them about temping, charting, ovulating, symptoms, etc;?

DH doesn't get annoyed, but I don't talk to him much about it. He's not really interested in the finer details. However, he's the one that symptom spots. "You're nauseous? You must be KTFU!" Sorry, no. Haven't even Od yet.

Yes! Same! I would not say that my husband gets annoyed by any means but last weekend he made a comment about tracking my cycles not being "necessary" and you should have heard the explanation I went into ) I was like I would never know when I ovulated and if I had a long cycle we would both be constantly thinking I am pregnant when I'm not and that would be no fun! He actually understood after I told him all the reasons it makes sense he was like dang I didn't know all that!

But seriously my friend the other day too said she thought I was pregnant! And it was after I said I didn't have an appetite this week... and I'm like ok... but AF just ended last week sooo I'm positive I'm not pregnant lol. SMH

ShallowSeas · October 2015

My husband is very interested in the whole ttc process. He's asked a lot of questions and has done his own research online. When I started temping, I thought he would think I was crazy but he was actually very supportive. He and I are both Science nerds so he likes the science part of it all. He is 100% supportive of whatever I want to do.

MNturnsVA · October 2015

I'm not one for needing a lot of sex and that has caused some issues for us at various points in our relationship. We had a big fight about it the first night of our honeymoon actually and I vowed after that to make more of an effort, especially since I knew that as soon as we got home from our trip, I was going to stop BC and we'd be needing to have ALOT more sex than our current status.

I didn't want to put unnecessary pressure on DH and I didn't want him to feel like I was just using him for his goods.

I've explained some things to him, but not a whole lot. There have been times where I've had to provide more info and others that it doesn't come up. He I think really expected it was going to happen immediately and now we are going into month 6 of TTC.

He knows I take my temp and the basics of that. He knows that I'm using OPKS but I don't think he knows what or what those are for really. He doesn't know anything about CM or that i"ve been checking it.

I think you have to do what is best for you.

He gets frustrated sometimes because he says I'm being vague about FW and without him fully understanding how it works, its not that I"m being vague, but I have a very estimated guess on FW and until some things start happening, you really don't know 100%.

Also, last week at one point during the TWW I was freezing while we were just doing stuff around the house. He said, are you cold because your temp went up and you are pregnant? I don't want him to start doing any symptom spotting. So I'm glad he knows what he knows, I'd like to tell him/share a little more, but again, I want it to still be fun too and not pressured.

chanfa · October 2015

My DH is actively participating and if anything he is a bit more anal than I am. After telling him that sometimes women get multiple LH surges, he now wants me to use OPKs everyday this month to monitor. I told him I don't have to and mentioned temping but he just wants me to POAS. He even has the "My Days" app installed on his phone so he can remember when I had AF and when we BD but really, I think it's because he knows when we can sex it out.

mrsschmity · October 2015

H and I don't really get into the details of TTGP. We talk about our future kids and all of that good stuff, but none of the details how we are actually going to make those future babies happen.

I started temping purely for the knowledge of knowing that my body is doing what it's supposed to each month - i.e. make sure I'm ovulating. I don't think H even realizes I do it to be honest lol A few months ago I casually mentioned to him that the only way to really know that I'm actually O'ing is to take my temperature every morning. I kind of just got a blank, confused look and he basically just said "It will happen babe".

Once in awhile I'll mention I feel super "wet" but never really call it EWCM or tell him it's my FW. We just have lots of sex and most of the time it ends up being great timing during my FW. He says he can feel the differences in my body at different times of the month, so who knows. If I'm still not KU within the next couple of months, we'll probably have a chat and I'll clue him in on more of the details, but for now I like the no pressure style and don't expect him to be too interested in the nitty gritty details.

lm45678 · October 2015

***CP mentioned***

DH and I were totally just going to have a lot of sex and thought getting pregnant would be super easy. I didn't want to be stressed or make him think I was obsessed by taking my temperature or using OPKs everyday. After a CP our first month trying he is totally on board, even encourages me to temp and use OPKs.

I try to make it cute by sending him a pic of the solid smiley and saying something like "you're getting lucky tonight!"

At first I was a little awkward about it, but the truth is he is making this baby with me so I want him to know what goes into it! Just like I'll want him to change our LO in the middle of the night!

Margo412 · October 2015

Sgoldberg247 said:

My husband tends to just zone out and then at the end make some remark about how girls are weird. I found out the hard way that letting him know that I am close to O was a bad idea as it gave him a bit of performance anxiety for a few days so that will be the end of that.

My husband is the exact same way!

Bubblegum5586 · October 2015

H is pretty good at about it. I show him my chart and how my temp changes post O and he kinda just goes along with it. He is all about HIO so he has just been enjoying our increased sex lives! His biggest concern is me stressing out (as I tend to do). I can tell he is still terrified (as am I) to have children, so the fact we are 4 months in doesn't bother him at all.

chanfa · October 2015

haha @Bubblegum5586 my DH is the same way (likes to HIO). The first time he asked me if he was ready right before he went and I thought it was the cutest thing ever to see him so vulnerable. (I hope he doesn't find this post LOL)

I tend to stress out too, so I hear ya. Thankfully this forum is making it easier to get through the days!

bsckgb7 · October 2015

mrsschmity - This all the way!! I don't get into the detail of what temping is, and CM and CP and what it means. He can figure out O time pretty quick based on the increase in sex, but he knows nothing about when, where, how.

Kjack85 · October 2015

*** reformed lurker (or at least trying to be)***

We've just started this process. DH is extremely active. He likes to know the details but does not want me to over stress the situation. So, I give him frequent updates and move on. Since we have not shared that we are TTC, I like having his support.

jolydan · October 2015

Like @laurenm2123 DH started showing interest in the process after the CP. He now ask about my temp and to see my chart. Today it was funny because he sent me an article about cinnamon and fertility and he said "no wonders why so many gals got pregnant on your forum with everything Pumpkin Spice in September!!" I thought it was funny and I can tell he reads about the whole process

noelietrex · October 2015

My DH is mostly in it for the BDing. He went to the preconception visit with me and will listen to me go on about TTC about once every other day without getting annoyed. He sleeps through temping and is pretty unaware of OPK testing- he knows I do it but doesn't ask so I don't mention it. I found the best way to relate about wanting a baby is to use the word kid instead of baby. DH doesn't want to talk much about pregnancy and babies, but likes talking about hypothetical kids and being a dad. Maybe try relating to your DH by talking more in relation to things he's looking forward to about having a family... I think pregnancy and babies can be intimidating and somewhat abstract for some men. Hilarious toddlers and trips to baseball games and the zoo make more sense, at least to my DH.

*edited because spellz

jennifer0428 · October 2015

I just got AF 5 days early (lucky me) so that puts us starting cycle 3 and I have yet to really say much to DH about it? I guess I want him to think my body is a magical being where babies just appear and grow. I never even said "this is month one" he just goes with the flow and we BD when I say we will and he's always down. I leave the opks on my side of the vanity so they're not hidden but I've never mentioned it. When I got AF 5 days early and broke down crying I swore I was going to fill him in and get the support I need and stop leaning on my poor sister for everything. But then I got through it and never said a word. What am I doing? I guess I'm scared he'll have performance problems, or stop seeing me as sexy and fun and more like a chore or expectation. Or maybe I'm just insane.

Funkymooncow · October 2015

My husband has got slightly more interested as time has worn on - at first he didn't say anything, then he just used to tell me off for getting upset / negative when AF arrived. Now we talk about it more but only in terms of timing (no other details) and the fun part has always stayed fun even after a year! Just hope this month we finally get some good news

berky84 · October 2015

I feel very lucky. My DH and I have great communication and he's been totally open to hearing about all the things I've been learning since we started TTC. He's pretty amazed at all the things our bodies do.

Imbrium101 · October 2015

When TTC #1 my husband was a bit iffy on it at first, but he did soe reading and research and was shocked at what all he didn't know. it took over a year for us to conceive the first time, and now that I've gone off the BCP to try for #2, he's asking why I'm not temping yet, and all the other stuff we did. He's really into it, even has his own period tracker on his phone! hehe. I'm trying to take a different route this time around, but we'll see

Either way, I know DH will be involved as much as he can be.

lzablocki · October 2015

Kstu728 said:
Do any of your husbands/partners get annoyed when you talk to them about temping, charting, ovulating, symptoms, etc;?

We tend to joke around about it to ease the anticipation. Like when we're watching tv and a commercial comes on he'll randomly ask "so how's the cm comin along?" Or I'll tell him "no alcohol at work today I don't want your sperm drunk tonight!" lol He's a good sport. I don't know that he totally understands it all but he just tries to be supportive.

irishrose54 · October 2015

We are ttc number one and are on cycle two. My hubby is so not into the temping because it's giving him some anxiety, so I told him I'll wait on it (which I now regret because I want the data!) until next cycle. I can tell he will feel differently because he thought we would try one time and BAM - we'd be expecting. Sorry hubs, I love you, but no. However, everything else I am doing he is hearing alllll about and he's into it!!

CoonMom · October 2015

My DH gets really annoyed that I temp, chart, etc. During the non FW I will often joke "it's been so long since we've BD" and he'd be like no it hasn't. Pull up your app...see it's only been x days. I try to explain the temps and other things but he just doesn't get it. He's getting better. Earlier this week I was in a really good mood dancing around to music in the morning and he thought I was KU. I told him it's too early to test, there was no reason I was in such a good mood. Then I explained the temps again. He still thinks my temp will tell me when I get KU. I told him it will but not as soon as a test and missing AF.