I think people who are pro-Donald Trump simply because he "speaks his mind without worrying about political correctness" are closet bigots. Don't get me wrong, I don't care if they agree with his political soapbox - I just disagree. I dread going home and listening to my family sing his praises over the holidays.
I have less patience for people who are anal about others being on time than I do for people who are chronically late; within reason, I think we should all just relax.** The vast majority of chronically late people are not making you wait on purpose, so chill. I especially feel like those who insist that people get somewhere early just to avoid being late have zero standing to complain about how much value others place on their time. Demanding ten extra minutes of THEIR time before your appointment is at least as unfair as them wasting five minutes of YOUR time during your appointment, and proves that you're not exactly selfless or respectful, either.
For perspective: I don't fall neatly into either the "always on time" or "always late" camps. I am often late to things that require me to leave my apartment before about 8 in the morning (thanks, sleep disorder!), and I feel 100% awful about it every time. However, I am extremely punctual for everything else. So, I might be 7 or 8 minutes late to work in the morning, but you can bet I'll be there and ready a couple minutes early for every meeting during the day no problem, and I'm usually the first to arrive for a dinner or brunch date.
**And by within reason, I mean: nobody should make you wait half an hour, or make you miss an event because they couldn't show up in a timely fashion, but waiting 5-10 minutes for dinner or a cup of coffee won't kill you.
I have less patience for people who are anal about others being on time than I do for people who are chronically late; within reason, I think we should all just relax.** The vast majority of chronically late people are not making you wait on purpose, so chill. I especially feel like those who insist that people get somewhere early just to avoid being late have zero standing to complain about how much value others place on their time. Demanding ten extra minutes of THEIR time before your appointment is at least as unfair as them wasting five minutes of YOUR time during your appointment, and proves that you're not exactly selfless or respectful, either.
**And by within reason, I mean: nobody should make you wait half an hour, or make you miss an event because they couldn't show up in a timely fashion, but waiting 5-10 minutes for dinner or a cup of coffee won't kill you.
I agree with the don't get there early and expect others to do the same, but not the rest. Work is one thing - 5 or 10 mins is usually not a big deal. But if we agree to meet for dinner at X time and you are more than 5ish minutes late without a reason (like traffic, or parking, or something legit - not like you took too long getting ready), that is disrespectful of my time. I had an ex who was consistently 15 minutes late to EVERYTHING and it drove me nuts. He couldn't understand why I got so mad when he said he'd be somewhere in 5 minutes, and it took 20, or when he said he was "almost there" and hadn't even left his house. Not ok.
I'm going to have to disagree about being on time. I work in a clinic, and our schedules are jammed so tight that it IS a big deal if someone is 5-10 minutes late. If we see 8 people from 9-11:20 and each person is 5-10 minutes late, that puts us at least 40 minutes behind. Individually it's not a big deal, but collectively it is. I personally get cranky after working through breakfast, as I leave my house by 5 AM to be to work on time and don't have time to sit until about 11:45. Putting me 40 minutes behind means I get no lunch break, which means you're going to get worse quality care. Just one example, but I'm pretty passionate about being timely for appointments. People (soldiers) want to complain about the quality of care they receive but don't take responsibility in their part of it. When I make plans to meet someone, I'm at least 15 minutes early (thanks, army). However, I'm cool with the person I'm meeting being a few minutes late...but I better get a courtesy text if it's more than ten minutes, because otherwise I'll blow up your phone. If you don't answer, I'll come looking for you. @NachosAndPeaches - DH has been out almost 6 months and still gets frustrated when his employees show up just on time to clock in. I think part of it is his own anxiety that he'll be late - before, he would've been counseled or given extra work, but now he needs to set a good example for the people he's supposed to be in charge of.
I have less patience for people who are anal about others being on time than I do for people who are chronically late; within reason, I think we should all just relax.** The vast majority of chronically late people are not making you wait on purpose, so chill. I especially feel like those who insist that people get somewhere early just to avoid being late have zero standing to complain about how much value others place on their time. Demanding ten extra minutes of THEIR time before your appointment is at least as unfair as them wasting five minutes of YOUR time during your appointment, and proves that you're not exactly selfless or respectful, either.
**And by within reason, I mean: nobody should make you wait half an hour, or make you miss an event because they couldn't show up in a timely fashion, but waiting 5-10 minutes for dinner or a cup of coffee won't kill you.
I agree with the don't get there early and expect others to do the same, but not the rest. Work is one thing - 5 or 10 mins is usually not a big deal. But if we agree to meet for dinner at X time and you are more than 5ish minutes late without a reason (like traffic, or parking, or something legit - not like you took too long getting ready), that is disrespectful of my time. I had an ex who was consistently 15 minutes late to EVERYTHING and it drove me nuts. He couldn't understand why I got so mad when he said he'd be somewhere in 5 minutes, and it took 20, or when he said he was "almost there" and hadn't even left his house. Not ok.
Yeah, if nothing else, the lying about how late you are is something I can certainly agree with you on. Not okay, and I can see why your ex is your ex!
Welcome to my Dad's side of the family. We legitimately debated printing a different set of invitations to the wedding for them saying it started a half hour earlier. We didn't and the last thing I saw before heading down the aisle was my uncle pulling into the parking lot. I'll definitely be bringing snacks/pb&j to extended family holidays because meals are NEVER on time because someone isn't there yet - which doesn't really make sense to an 18 month old who just wants Christmas lunch before nap.
@AmadorRose - I'm thinking more about personal appointments, like dinner plans or a shopping trip, and the people who get super crabby about someone being anything less than exactly on time down to the minute. An honest courtesy text when someone's extra behind is a reasonable expectation.
In cases like a dentist or doctor's office, I definitely agree like the only person there who can acceptably be late without an actual emergency is the person providing the actual services, and that's largely because your schedule is out of your control if your patients show up late or with problems that take more than the allotted time to deal with; if I were the day's most complicated case, I'd probably be glad my clinician is willing to throw off her schedule, too. The rest of us--even the chronically late among us--should probably take extra care to be punctual when medical stuff is involved, though.
@AGK2015 stepping off my soapbox now...haha I have a sister who is chronically late, so we have started to tell her that things start 45 minutes before they do...and she's still 15 minutes late most days.
I don't think I'm "lucky" that my husband makes dinner and helps out with our son. Isn't that what a father should do? Why should I be deemed "lucky"?? I mean, he knew I wasn't a chef when we were dating so he would have to do most of the cooking if he wanted to eat anything edible and to be able to live the life we do, we both have to work, which means we both have to take part in caring for our son. How come I'm lucky because I have a husband that helps??? I'm very grateful for what I have....but I did choose a good husband on purpose. I could have made a different choice in a husband and been complaining about him all the time.
@AGK2015 stepping off my soapbox now...haha I have a sister who is chronically late, so we have started to tell her that things start 45 minutes before they do...and she's still 15 minutes late most days.
Being late is ultra rude. No matter why. Literally EVERYTHING we do with H's family they are always late. H and I are always very prompt and often find ourselves sitting around doing nothing while the rest of the family rolls up with their sad excuses.
@BrittnyS10 she totally is. I would be embarrassed but we give her a pass because her husband is a dick and refuses to do anything with their 5 children except throw a football to the oldest boy. Otherwise it's a treat for them to watch TV with him, because he usually kicks them out of the room because "they're too loud."
Being late is ultra rude. No matter why. Literally EVERYTHING we do with H's family they are always late. H and I are always very prompt and often find ourselves sitting around doing nothing while the rest of the family rolls up with their sad excuses.
Just be on time.
Do you have kids yet? We are on time probably 90% of the time but the little one every so often throws a wrench in that plan...
Personally, I don't mind lateness. Chronic lateness is annoying but usually nothing is worth getting upset over. I have enough stress and don't need to make any unnecessary stress by being uptight.
@amaniupendo, for the record, kids are a legit excuse in my book (not for chronic lateness, but things do happen).
The way I see it, I am giving up my time that could have been spent doing something else to arrive somewhere on time. It is disrespectful for the other person to decide that their time is more important than mine and show up late "just because". If you want to meet later than planned, it takes 15 seconds to send a text and give me back that 5/10/30 minutes.
I wouldn't necessarily say I get upset over it - I'm not going to throw a hissy fit or anything - but I've stepped back from friendships because of this issue before. I don't think it's about being uptight. It's about expecting a friend to respect my time like they respect their own.
@AmadorRose - I'm thinking more about personal appointments, like dinner plans or a shopping trip, and the people who get super crabby about someone being anything less than exactly on time down to the minute. An honest courtesy text when someone's extra behind is a reasonable expectation.
In cases like a dentist or doctor's office, I definitely agree like the only person there who can acceptably be late without an actual emergency is the person providing the actual services, and that's largely because your schedule is out of your control if your patients show up late or with problems that take more than the allotted time to deal with; if I were the day's most complicated case, I'd probably be glad my clinician is willing to throw off her schedule, too. The rest of us--even the chronically late among us--should probably take extra care to be punctual when medical stuff is involved, though.
I actually get really frustrated because my OB office always asks you to be there 15-20 minutes early, and in the 5 years I've been going there, they've always run ~30 minutes behind appointment time. I always arrive on time for them, but never more than 5-10 early. Also, for my first appointment this time around at 6w, I was scheduled an ultrasound 45 minutes before my appointment - AFTER I checked in, they decided it was too early to do an US. They never told me they decided to cancel the US and I had to wait an hour to see somebody. I always bring a book along now just in case.
I wish the US would adopt gun laws similar to Australia. Actually I wish we could be like the UK and ban all guns, but I'll be realistic since our country is vast, to allow for hunting and protection from dangerous wildlife. I feel very passionately about this issue, and I live in the deep south so my opinion is very unpopular!
DH and I were in Belfast Ireland back in 2011, when some riots broke out in the city. I still felt safer there in those riots than I do in my own country! We were in Australia and New Zealand this past summer when the Charleston shooting happened. I love my country, but felt embarrassed as an American listening to foreign news media covering the US shootings. I've been to several other countries too, and I always feel safer in those countries with gun control, so much more than I feel here.
I'm just so beyond disgusted with people and the idea that we need more guns here to solve the problem. That makes me feel so uneasy. The last thing we need is more people carrying guns everywhere. My heart breaks for all the victims of gun violence and for their families. In all honesty, if I could get my whole family to move, dh and I would move to another country in a heartbeat. I don't think things will change here ever, the NRA and gun lobbyists have convinced people that gun control won't reduce the enormous number of mass shootings, its pathetic.
I'd love to hear from some international moms on their opinion in the mass shootings in the US!
Also, back when gay marriage was legalized and it was such big news...my Facebook blew up with so many people posting crap against it. One of my cousins went on a tirade about how she fears for her children's future growing up in a country where gay people can get married. I never post political stuff or my opinions on hot topics on Facebook. I don't think its the right place for that kind of stuff, and I hate it when others do it. What I desperately wanted to say to her was she needs to wake up if that is what scares her for her children's future. We live in a country where mass shootings are a daily occurance, and right now there is a presidential candidate spewing hateful nonsense that if he was president he would send all the Syrian refugees straight back to Syria. What a fine example of human compassion!
Sheesh, I'm in a really pissy mood tonight! Thanks for allowing me to post my tirade on this post.
@loveymay - while I'm not at all downplaying what happened in Oregon, as it is obviously a huge tragedy, I find it interesting that no major media network nor the President of the United States bothered to mention the 30-year-old Army vet who was shot five times while he charged the gunman in an attempt to stop him. On his sons sixth birthday, Chris Mintz, having no other form of defense, used his body to absorb five bullets, potentially saving five lives. Why? Because he was a law-abiding citizen who did not carry a weapon. Had he been legally carrying, his training would have allowed him to put a bullet between the eyes of a man who murdered ten people in an attempt for attention. He blogged about the infamy mass shooters reach shortly before the shootings. My opinion is probably pretty obvious here, so I won't get into it. You are totally entitled to your opinion, and I appreciate that you can post it so eloquently and respectfully. The only thing I am disgusted about is that no one is talking about the man who was ready to give his life. He, the nurse who saved him, and the likely numerous other brave souls should be the ones to live in infamy, but they won't.
People who are chronically late don't have respect for other people's time, period. Leave your house five minutes earlier, it's not that hard. And yes, I have a child. If you KNOW that your children are going to make you late, then leave earlier! Or make your plans a little bit later! And being late to work is SO unprofessional. I can't even imagine. Again, every once in awhile I can get. Traffic happens, accidents happen, etc.... but to be late to work every day isn't fair. I'm a teacher. If I were late, my students would all be locked in the hall with no supervision. So I *somehow* manage to be at work on time every day. And it's not that hard.
Amanda
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Nov siggy challenge: animals eating Thanksgiving food
@AmadorRose I haven't followed the details on yesterday's shooting, but that part of it is awesome. I am actually pro 2nd amendment. Because let's face reality...criminals don't follow the rules anyway. Hence why we have crime. I believe we should be able to defend ourselves if need be (and for most of us, our physical strength just isn't enough of a defense, especially up against a high powered firearm) and people should be able to bear arms for hunting. I do believe there needs to be stricter control on who can and can't bear arms, and the type of firearms civilians should be able to purchase, but it is our right as citizens. If you look at the Constitution, this right was actually given to us in case something got out of hand with the government and it gave us the right to protect ourselves against a government that turned against the ideals of the United States.
I wish the US would adopt gun laws similar to Australia. Actually I wish we could be like the UK and ban all guns, but I'll be realistic since our country is vast, to allow for hunting and protection from dangerous wildlife. I feel very passionately about this issue, and I live in the deep south so my opinion is very unpopular!
DH and I were in Belfast Ireland back in 2011, when some riots broke out in the city. I still felt safer there in those riots than I do in my own country! We were in Australia and New Zealand this past summer when the Charleston shooting happened. I love my country, but felt embarrassed as an American listening to foreign news media covering the US shootings. I've been to several other countries too, and I always feel safer in those countries with gun control, so much more than I feel here.
I'm just so beyond disgusted with people and the idea that we need more guns here to solve the problem. That makes me feel so uneasy. The last thing we need is more people carrying guns everywhere. My heart breaks for all the victims of gun violence and for their families. In all honesty, if I could get my whole family to move, dh and I would move to another country in a heartbeat. I don't think things will change here ever, the NRA and gun lobbyists have convinced people that gun control won't reduce the enormous number of mass shootings, its pathetic.
I'd love to hear from some international moms on their opinion in the mass shootings in the US!
My husband and I do shooting competitions for the uspsa and are both certified range officers meaning we Inforce all safety rules during a match and disqualify if needed. I carry a concealed firearm daily and thank god I haven't had to use it. We also hunt in the fall and that gives us different meat for a few months when we get sick of beef all the time since we have our own cattle. I'll be nice and simply give an example of why I feel it's necessary to carry.
If I'm in a movie theater and some wacko starts shooting people I'm trained to evaluate the situation and act instead of becoming a victim. By me defending myself and getting rid of the threat I could be saving both my life and 100 other innocent people in that moment. If teachers were allowed to safely keep a firearm on or with them they could save the lives of their students need be. I could get really deep into this but this is how I feel in a nutshell. It's not a gun problem it's a mental health problem . If you ban guns the bad guys will still find a way and the good guys will be left defenseless. Anything can be a weapon it's how you use it and the mind set of the person behind it.
I wish the US would adopt gun laws similar to Australia. Actually I wish we could be like the UK and ban all guns, but I'll be realistic since our country is vast, to allow for hunting and protection from dangerous wildlife. I feel very passionately about this issue, and I live in the deep south so my opinion is very unpopular!
DH and I were in Belfast Ireland back in 2011, when some riots broke out in the city. I still felt safer there in those riots than I do in my own country! We were in Australia and New Zealand this past summer when the Charleston shooting happened. I love my country, but felt embarrassed as an American listening to foreign news media covering the US shootings. I've been to several other countries too, and I always feel safer in those countries with gun control, so much more than I feel here.
I'm just so beyond disgusted with people and the idea that we need more guns here to solve the problem. That makes me feel so uneasy. The last thing we need is more people carrying guns everywhere. My heart breaks for all the victims of gun violence and for their families. In all honesty, if I could get my whole family to move, dh and I would move to another country in a heartbeat. I don't think things will change here ever, the NRA and gun lobbyists have convinced people that gun control won't reduce the enormous number of mass shootings, its pathetic.
I'd love to hear from some international moms on their opinion in the mass shootings in the US!
My husband and I do shooting competitions for the uspsa and are both certified range officers meaning we Inforce all safety rules during a match and disqualify if needed. I carry a concealed firearm daily and thank god I haven't had to use it. We also hunt in the fall and that gives us different meat for a few months when we get sick of beef all the time since we have our own cattle.
I'll be nice and simply give an example of why I feel it's necessary to carry.
If I'm in a movie theater and some wacko starts shooting people I'm trained to evaluate the situation and act instead of becoming a victim. By me defending myself and getting rid of the threat I could be saving both my life and 100 other innocent people in that moment. If teachers were allowed to safely keep a firearm on or with them they could save the lives of their students need be.
I could get really deep into this but this is how I feel in a nutshell. It's not a gun problem it's a mental health problem .
If you ban guns the bad guys will still find a way and the good guys will be left defenseless.
Anything can be a weapon it's how you use it and the mind set of the person behind it.
Im sorry, but it is a gun problem. Look up Australian gun laws. in 1996 after a mass shooting that killed 35 people, their government enacted a gun law called the National Firearms agreement and created a Buyback Program. Gun deaths dropped by 50% and have not risen since. Guns are not banned entirely, but tightly regulated. People can still own guns for hunting, target shooting, protection. Yes, people still die from guns there, but not nearly at such a high rate as we have here in the US. When I was in Australia this summer, there was a shooting. One person was found dead of a gunshot wound. One person. And this made national news! There are DAILY shootings in my city.
What I dont understand is when people say things like well people are still getting shot even with their gun control......I interpret that to mean if we cant get the number of deaths to 0, then we shouldnt try to do anything at all. I also dont understand why we cant look at other developed advanced nations and see what policies are working for them, and try to adopt something similar for ourselves? I think despite our different opinions, I think we can all agree that the current state of things is not working at all.
@jonesl12 i think its great that you are well trained in firearm use. But so many people are not! Dont you think a good regulation would be in order to own a firearm, you have to go through training and become certified? Also, Im not trying to be snarky when I say this so please dont take it that way....but I hear this comment a lot, that if someone were carrying a gun at the time of all these shootings, it would be prevented. Well people can carry guns, so why hasnt this happened?
If we model Australia's gun laws (i keep refering to it because I think its a great model), then the banned guns would be removed from the public. It would take time and money, and not all guns would be removed because its just not possible. But it will make a difference, and it will save lives. We cant save them all, but cant we try to save as many as possible? @AmadorRose I think it was a very heroic and selfless act what that man did! I still see it as a tragic and needless death though. Why cant we come together as a nation and figure out something that would prevent a person having to make this brave yet heartbreaking decision? It breaks my heart for him and his family. And Im sure we will hear of it soon, once the news starts releasing more information about the victims. Thank you for sharing though, I had not heard that story.
Lastly, to no one in particular, gun control DOES NOT EQUAL taking away all the guns from every citizen.
I wish the US would adopt gun laws similar to Australia. Actually I wish we could be like the UK and ban all guns, but I'll be realistic since our country is vast, to allow for hunting and protection from dangerous wildlife. I feel very passionately about this issue, and I live in the deep south so my opinion is very unpopular!
DH and I were in Belfast Ireland back in 2011, when some riots broke out in the city. I still felt safer there in those riots than I do in my own country! We were in Australia and New Zealand this past summer when the Charleston shooting happened. I love my country, but felt embarrassed as an American listening to foreign news media covering the US shootings. I've been to several other countries too, and I always feel safer in those countries with gun control, so much more than I feel here.
I'm just so beyond disgusted with people and the idea that we need more guns here to solve the problem. That makes me feel so uneasy. The last thing we need is more people carrying guns everywhere. My heart breaks for all the victims of gun violence and for their families. In all honesty, if I could get my whole family to move, dh and I would move to another country in a heartbeat. I don't think things will change here ever, the NRA and gun lobbyists have convinced people that gun control won't reduce the enormous number of mass shootings, its pathetic.
I'd love to hear from some international moms on their opinion in the mass shootings in the US!
My husband and I do shooting competitions for the uspsa and are both certified range officers meaning we Inforce all safety rules during a match and disqualify if needed. I carry a concealed firearm daily and thank god I haven't had to use it. We also hunt in the fall and that gives us different meat for a few months when we get sick of beef all the time since we have our own cattle.
I'll be nice and simply give an example of why I feel it's necessary to carry.
If I'm in a movie theater and some wacko starts shooting people I'm trained to evaluate the situation and act instead of becoming a victim. By me defending myself and getting rid of the threat I could be saving both my life and 100 other innocent people in that moment. If teachers were allowed to safely keep a firearm on or with them they could save the lives of their students need be.
I could get really deep into this but this is how I feel in a nutshell. It's not a gun problem it's a mental health problem .
If you ban guns the bad guys will still find a way and the good guys will be left defenseless.
Anything can be a weapon it's how you use it and the mind set of the person behind it.
Im sorry, but it is a gun problem. Look up Australian gun laws. in 1996 after a mass shooting that killed 35 people, their government enacted a gun law called the National Firearms agreement and created a Buyback Program. Gun deaths dropped by 50% and have not risen since. Guns are not banned entirely, but tightly regulated. People can still own guns for hunting, target shooting, protection. Yes, people still die from guns there, but not nearly at such a high rate as we have here in the US. When I was in Australia this summer, there was a shooting. One person was found dead of a gunshot wound. One person. And this made national news! There are DAILY shootings in my city.
What I dont understand is when people say things like well people are still getting shot even with their gun control......I interpret that to mean if we cant get the number of deaths to 0, then we shouldnt try to do anything at all. I also dont understand why we cant look at other developed advanced nations and see what policies are working for them, and try to adopt something similar for ourselves? I think despite our different opinions, I think we can all agree that the current state of things is not working at all.
@jonesl12 i think its great that you are well trained in firearm use. But so many people are not! Dont you think a good regulation would be in order to own a firearm, you have to go through training and become certified? Also, Im not trying to be snarky when I say this so please dont take it that way....but I hear this comment a lot, that if someone were carrying a gun at the time of all these shootings, it would be prevented. Well people can carry guns, so why hasnt this happened?
If we model Australia's gun laws (i keep refering to it because I think its a great model), then the banned guns would be removed from the public. It would take time and money, and not all guns would be removed because its just not possible. But it will make a difference, and it will save lives. We cant save them all, but cant we try to save as many as possible? @AmadorRose I think it was a very heroic and selfless act what that man did! I still see it as a tragic and needless death though. Why cant we come together as a nation and figure out something that would prevent a person having to make this brave yet heartbreaking decision? It breaks my heart for him and his family. And Im sure we will hear of it soon, once the news starts releasing more information about the victims. Thank you for sharing though, I had not heard that story.
Lastly, to no one in particular, gun control DOES NOT EQUAL taking away all the guns from every citizen.
Just a note to say that this particular guy didn't die. He will likely have to learn to walk again, but is expected to make a full recovery.
No taking classes won't help much . I've taken many but I have good mental health. You can be a psycho who needs medical attention and take classes to just turn around and still kill people. People kill people with knives . You think we should ban those too? It's the person behind the weapon/ object that's a problem
No taking classes won't help much . I've taken many but I have good mental health. You can be a psycho who needs medical attention and take classes to just turn around and still kill people. People kill people with knives . You think we should ban those too?
It's the person behind the weapon/ object that's a problem
Honestly that is a ridiculous argument. How many people would have died if that Oregon attacker had a knife instead of a gun?
A perfect example is the Chinese attacker with a knife who entered a school and wounded 22 children in 2012. Whats the difference between that incident and Sandy Hook? Those Chinese children survived!
No taking classes won't help much . I've taken many but I have good mental health. You can be a psycho who needs medical attention and take classes to just turn around and still kill people. People kill people with knives . You think we should ban those too?
It's the person behind the weapon/ object that's a problem
So I guess we shouldnt do anything at all about it then huh? I have yet to hear any suggestions from people who so strongly oppose any type of gun control. What do you suggest? Is human life of so little value???
No taking classes won't help much . I've taken many but I have good mental health. You can be a psycho who needs medical attention and take classes to just turn around and still kill people. People kill people with knives . You think we should ban those too? It's the person behind the weapon/ object that's a problem
So I guess we shouldnt do anything at all about it then huh? I have yet to hear any suggestions from people who so strongly oppose any type of gun control. What do you suggest? Is human life of so little value???
We should have more stringent processes to obtain guns and weapons of any sort. People should undergo psychological evaluation, safety training, and target practice in order to be issued a license. We should encourage the concealed or open carry of weapons by the people qualified to carry them. We should stop raising a generation of victims and attention seekers who think shooting people to both get their name in the news and to invoke revenge for perceived wrongdoings. Parents should teach children to be their own advocates, rather than run to teachers and counsellors when someone says Johnny smells funny. While there have been school shootings since the 19th century, the rate is accelerating at an alarming rate. I don't think we can discount the fact that we are raising a generation of victims by not fostering our children's self-esteem by helping them appropriately stick up for themselves. When school officials get involved for minor incidents, bullying gets worse. Maybe it's because I'm kind of backwoods, and I will never encourage physical violence, I will encourage my children to end fights that turn physical. If I was the mother of the teenager that beat the hell out of the little sh!t that was beating up a blind kid, I would have taken him on vacation during his suspension and found a new school for him. If some kid ever lays a hand on my child, I will be proud of my child if he or she defends him/herself, regardless of the outcome. I will raise my children to intervene when they see something wrong - like someone beating up a blind peer - and if I were to find out that my child was holding the camera rather than intervening, he would find himself sleeping on the floor in a barren room with a blanket and pillow, without a door to his room.
We should have more stringent processes to obtain guns and weapons of any sort. People should undergo psychological evaluation, safety training, and target practice in order to be issued a license. We should encourage the concealed or open carry of weapons by the people qualified to carry them. We should stop raising a generation of victims and attention seekers who think shooting people to both get their name in the news and to invoke revenge for perceived wrongdoings. Parents should teach children to be their own advocates, rather than run to teachers and counsellors when someone says Johnny smells funny.
While there have been school shootings since the 19th century, the rate is accelerating at an alarming rate. I don't think we can discount the fact that we are raising a generation of victims by not fostering our children's self-esteem by helping them appropriately stick up for themselves. When school officials get involved for minor incidents, bullying gets worse.
Maybe it's because I'm kind of backwoods, and I will never encourage physical violence, I will encourage my children to end fights that turn physical. If I was the mother of the teenager that beat the hell out of the little sh!t that was beating up a blind kid, I would have taken him on vacation during his suspension and found a new school for him. If some kid ever lays a hand on my child, I will be proud of my child if he or she defends him/herself, regardless of the outcome.
I will raise my children to intervene when they see something wrong - like someone beating up a blind peer - and if I were to find out that my child was holding the camera rather than intervening, he would find himself sleeping on the floor in a barren room with a blanket and pillow, without a door to his room.
Im mobile and cant bold the part I want, but I like your thoughts on having more stringent processes. I also agree with your points on how parents raise their children, unfortunately we cant control how people raise their kids or even how those kids turn out, despite good parenting. We can do our part, but I want to feel secure sending my child to school without fearing they may never return because of the high rate of school shootings.
@jonesl12 i think mental health reform would be a good start!
@loveymay I agree: the mental health system in the US needs reform, period. My personal soapbox is veteran suicide, which is a cause very close to my heart. And I honestly feel that more attentive parenting across the board would cause a major shift in the amount of violence we have in society. As a person who could have very easily derailed her own life, I can admit that the reasons I'm not shooting up heroin in an alley somewhere is because I have always been terrified in the wrath and discipline of my parents, plus joining the Army. My family, while unhelpful in self-esteem issues, taught me that children don't need money, they need love and discipline. They kept me on the relatively straight and narrow, other than some teenage binge drinking. They taught me how to support myself and be the best employee at every job I've ever had. They were more concerned about the discipline and morals instilled in their six children than they were about having new clothes for us or having basically anything for themselves. The problem with many of today's parents - and even parents of the previous generation - is that money was more important to them than actively making productive members of society. Making six figures does not guarantee you'll have rockstar children with great grades and impeccable social skills, but it doesn't have to mean they'll be selfish, attention-seeking brats either. And in some cases, sociopaths are born, not made, and the best a parent can do is love them and get them the attention they need.
How about needing a mental evaluation if you want to be able to own a gun? Seems logical to me. In order to get a drivers license you need to pass a test. Why not have an evaluation process for guns?
First BFP 12/2012, MMC at 9 weeks
Second BFP 6/2013, resulted in DS, born 2/23/14 :-)
Third BFP 5/2015, natural MC at 6 weeks
Fourth BFP 8/2015, hoping for sticky little brother or sister to H!
Proud SAHM to our little monkey H.
Pro Vax, extended breasftfeeder, ring sling and stroller loving mama. I don't judge you unless you don't vaccinate!
Also I definitely think parenting could improve but I think it's also really naive to say that on some level, because a lot of sociopaths had great upbringings from parents with values etc. I haven't extensively studied sociopathy but I do know that a lot of times it is NOT the parents' faults.
First BFP 12/2012, MMC at 9 weeks
Second BFP 6/2013, resulted in DS, born 2/23/14 :-)
Third BFP 5/2015, natural MC at 6 weeks
Fourth BFP 8/2015, hoping for sticky little brother or sister to H!
Proud SAHM to our little monkey H.
Pro Vax, extended breasftfeeder, ring sling and stroller loving mama. I don't judge you unless you don't vaccinate!
When talking about gun violence please do not get caught up in the mental health issue and accidentally paint those with mental health issues as raging people ready to kill at the drop of a hat. That's a huge stereotype. We do have statistics showing that the vast majority of people who commit acts of violence do not have a diagnosis of mental illness and, conversely, people who have mental illness are far more likely to be the victims of violence than the perpetrators.
Also with gun safety laws my biggest issue is that people are quick to say the laws won't work but there is no research for it. We don't have research because the government won't allow it. In 1996 Congress cut funding to the CDC and the FBI from doing gun control research and when ever the issue comes up organizations and groups lobby against any research being done. And guess who wins every time. So my issue is if you know that the research isn't going to find anything why stop it? Unless you are afraid of what the research uncovers
I think if you believe that guns are "THE PROBLEM", then you are completely missing the issue. Guns aren't the problem, they're "THE SOLUTION" for those kids who are bringing them into schools and shooting people. The real question is WHY? Why do they think that's the answer? Why do they think that's ok? Where are they learning that it's ok?
Is it a parenting fail? Is it a school failure? Is it too many violent video games? Is it simply because they saw it on the news? Surely there is enough data on school shooters at this point to start drawing some comparisons to start looking for real answers, not superficial "bandaid" ones. All taking guns away does is fix a symptom, not the underlying cause.
BFP 5.21.12 ~~ Born 1.28.13 BFP 8.14.15 ~~ Due 4.22.16
littlesocks
member
Re: UO Thursday
When I make plans to meet someone, I'm at least 15 minutes early (thanks, army). However, I'm cool with the person I'm meeting being a few minutes late...but I better get a courtesy text if it's more than ten minutes, because otherwise I'll blow up your phone. If you don't answer, I'll come looking for you.
@NachosAndPeaches - DH has been out almost 6 months and still gets frustrated when his employees show up just on time to clock in. I think part of it is his own anxiety that he'll be late - before, he would've been counseled or given extra work, but now he needs to set a good example for the people he's supposed to be in charge of.
I have a sister who is chronically late, so we have started to tell her that things start 45 minutes before they do...and she's still 15 minutes late most days.
Just be on time.
Personally, I don't mind lateness. Chronic lateness is annoying but usually nothing is worth getting upset over. I have enough stress and don't need to make any unnecessary stress by being uptight.
The way I see it, I am giving up my time that could have been spent doing something else to arrive somewhere on time. It is disrespectful for the other person to decide that their time is more important than mine and show up late "just because". If you want to meet later than planned, it takes 15 seconds to send a text and give me back that 5/10/30 minutes.
I wouldn't necessarily say I get upset over it - I'm not going to throw a hissy fit or anything - but I've stepped back from friendships because of this issue before. I don't think it's about being uptight. It's about expecting a friend to respect my time like they respect their own.
DH and I were in Belfast Ireland back in 2011, when some riots broke out in the city. I still felt safer there in those riots than I do in my own country! We were in Australia and New Zealand this past summer when the Charleston shooting happened. I love my country, but felt embarrassed as an American listening to foreign news media covering the US shootings. I've been to several other countries too, and I always feel safer in those countries with gun control, so much more than I feel here.
I'm just so beyond disgusted with people and the idea that we need more guns here to solve the problem. That makes me feel so uneasy. The last thing we need is more people carrying guns everywhere. My heart breaks for all the victims of gun violence and for their families. In all honesty, if I could get my whole family to move, dh and I would move to another country in a heartbeat. I don't think things will change here ever, the NRA and gun lobbyists have convinced people that gun control won't reduce the enormous number of mass shootings, its pathetic.
I'd love to hear from some international moms on their opinion in the mass shootings in the US!
Sheesh, I'm in a really pissy mood tonight! Thanks for allowing me to post my tirade on this post.
My opinion is probably pretty obvious here, so I won't get into it. You are totally entitled to your opinion, and I appreciate that you can post it so eloquently and respectfully. The only thing I am disgusted about is that no one is talking about the man who was ready to give his life. He, the nurse who saved him, and the likely numerous other brave souls should be the ones to live in infamy, but they won't.
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Nov siggy challenge: animals eating Thanksgiving food
Rhys - born 04.17.2013
Harry - born 04.18.2016
I'll be nice and simply give an example of why I feel it's necessary to carry.
If I'm in a movie theater and some wacko starts shooting people I'm trained to evaluate the situation and act instead of becoming a victim. By me defending myself and getting rid of the threat I could be saving both my life and 100 other innocent people in that moment. If teachers were allowed to safely keep a firearm on or with them they could save the lives of their students need be.
I could get really deep into this but this is how I feel in a nutshell. It's not a gun problem it's a mental health problem .
If you ban guns the bad guys will still find a way and the good guys will be left defenseless.
Anything can be a weapon it's how you use it and the mind set of the person behind it.
Im sorry, but it is a gun problem. Look up Australian gun laws. in 1996 after a mass shooting that killed 35 people, their government enacted a gun law called the National Firearms agreement and created a Buyback Program. Gun deaths dropped by 50% and have not risen since. Guns are not banned entirely, but tightly regulated. People can still own guns for hunting, target shooting, protection. Yes, people still die from guns there, but not nearly at such a high rate as we have here in the US. When I was in Australia this summer, there was a shooting. One person was found dead of a gunshot wound. One person. And this made national news! There are DAILY shootings in my city.
It's the person behind the weapon/ object that's a problem
Honestly that is a ridiculous argument. How many people would have died if that Oregon attacker had a knife instead of a gun?
So I guess we shouldnt do anything at all about it then huh? I have yet to hear any suggestions from people who so strongly oppose any type of gun control. What do you suggest? Is human life of so little value???
So I guess we shouldnt do anything at all about it then huh? I have yet to hear any suggestions from people who so strongly oppose any type of gun control. What do you suggest? Is human life of so little value???
Mental health reform
While there have been school shootings since the 19th century, the rate is accelerating at an alarming rate. I don't think we can discount the fact that we are raising a generation of victims by not fostering our children's self-esteem by helping them appropriately stick up for themselves. When school officials get involved for minor incidents, bullying gets worse.
Maybe it's because I'm kind of backwoods, and I will never encourage physical violence, I will encourage my children to end fights that turn physical. If I was the mother of the teenager that beat the hell out of the little sh!t that was beating up a blind kid, I would have taken him on vacation during his suspension and found a new school for him. If some kid ever lays a hand on my child, I will be proud of my child if he or she defends him/herself, regardless of the outcome.
I will raise my children to intervene when they see something wrong - like someone beating up a blind peer - and if I were to find out that my child was holding the camera rather than intervening, he would find himself sleeping on the floor in a barren room with a blanket and pillow, without a door to his room.
Im mobile and cant bold the part I want, but I like your thoughts on having more stringent processes. I also agree with your points on how parents raise their children, unfortunately we cant control how people raise their kids or even how those kids turn out, despite good parenting. We can do our part, but I want to feel secure sending my child to school without fearing they may never return because of the high rate of school shootings. @jonesl12 i think mental health reform would be a good start!
Me- 25,DH-28
Me- 25,DH-28
Is it a parenting fail? Is it a school failure? Is it too many violent video games? Is it simply because they saw it on the news? Surely there is enough data on school shooters at this point to start drawing some comparisons to start looking for real answers, not superficial "bandaid" ones. All taking guns away does is fix a symptom, not the underlying cause.
BFP 8.14.15 ~~ Due 4.22.16