Struggling at work, scared to take Mat leave

Tealmoore · September 2015

I am almost 33 weeks pregnant and I had told my work I would take maternity at 38 weeks and take 3 weeks holiday before then (Finishing around 35 weeks)

I only technically have 13 working days left which does not sound like much however I am feeling overwhelmed with fatigue and my SPD is really bad. I am lucky to get 3 hours sleep a night just now. My office is going through a period of change and rather than just allowing me to get on with daily tasks and finish up current projects I have been put on some very important new projects which I am struggling to get my head around and is causing me a lot of stress. I have important meetings with senior managers etc scheduled and I am struggling to get all my analysis together - plus if I need to take a day off due to feeling ill etc I am scared of missing important meetings. My task list is longer and longer each day and I have been pulling 10 - 11 hour day to try get on top of it but more and more is added each day. I am so tired I tear up throughout the day.

The travel to work is also getting very hard, I have a 30 min train ride and there is never any seats and then the walk to work is a 15min up hill struggle. I just dont think I can do it anymore. I am scared to ask work if I can move Mat leave and holidays up by one week because they have so much going on and so much tasks needing completed. There is also another pregnant lady who is 4 weeks ahead of me and she is leaving on mat leave at 38 weeks and she is managing fine! It makes me feel lazy and less able if I cant keep going as long as possible.

I dont know what to do, is anyone else struggling to keep going?

I dont have any other children or responsibilities so I dont know how all you ladies with kids already are managing!

tdart14 · September 2015

I think your best bet may be to see if your doctor will put you off for that week. Then you still get your planned leave time too.

Every woman will handle pregnancy differently. You shouldn't feel bad that you are finding things difficult.

baby112615 · September 2015

I understand. I work at a hospital and my job is both physically and mentally demanding. I take things one day at a time and really advocate for myself if they are assigning me patients that are too heavy for me.

ooooner · September 2015

@Tealmoore I completely understand, you are not alone. Do you have the type of office job where you could work from home with remote access to your computer in the office? Or even be issued a laptop to work remotely? You could still continue to work until 35 weeks but maybe work from home 2 or 3 days out of the week and come into the office the other 2 or 3 days?

At 32 weeks I'm beginning to struggle also, and because I don't have any benefits besides FMLA, the plan has been to work up until my due date (Nov 18th) or whenever labor hits, whichever comes first. I have been thinking that once I hit 36 weeks, I'm going to request that I work from home remotely 2-3 days a week. That way, I'm still fulfilling my duties as well as getting paid, but won't have to deal with the commute and getting ready and the extra walking, etc, that goes along with an office job.

Best of luck to you...

Unica1302+ · September 2015

I'm with the work from home idea. Maybe you could stay working much longer wrapping up what you need to wrap up if you work from home. It'sess stressful and you can nap! I intended to work right til due date or labor (thanksgiving week). However I'm having Pubic symphysis pain and I'm now planning to leave the week prior. I'm hoping to be left to work in the office (I provide home services) for the last week before that. I have a habit of letting work get to me but some Co workers have been telling me to put me/baby before anything else. This is my new mantra but it's not easy to feel like you can't keep up.

jsawicki · September 2015

You shouldn't feel guilty or torn up about this at all! First of all every woman is different so comparing yourself to your pregnant co-worker would be totally unfair.your employer has to understand and accomodate.
I have a job that involves a lot of driving and very long day. I got a note from my midwife simply stating that due to the physical stress of pregnancy I need to have modified duties for the remainder of time before my mat leave. Immediately I began working from home last week, at 34 weeks and will continue to do so until my mat leave starts on Oct 16th. They have found me some additional projects to work on to keep me busy. Inwould talk to your doc and do what you need to do to not feel physically or emotionally stressed:) Healthy baby and healthy Mommy are far more important at this point .

violetigerlily · September 2015

I agree with what PP's said about seeing if working from home is a temporary option, getting a Dr's note, etc. Also, while it's I'm sure a relatively small part of the daily grind, please ask someone directly for a seat on the train if none are available and nobody is giving you one. Sometimes the bystander effect kicks in and nobody gives up their seat even though they are considering it because they expect that someone else will instead, are trying to convince themselves that you don't want one, or just plain don't notice you. If you ask either a specific person or pose the question to the air, someone is more likely to step up. At this point, with you feeling this way, asking for a seat really isn't something to feel guilty about. Good luck.

Tealmoore · September 2015

Thanks guys

well working from home isn't an option. They had mentioned getting me a laptop so I could but like my chair and my chair supports and all the other things they were ordering for me to make me more comfortable...they haven't materialised.

I spoke to my manager after a 3hr meeting in an uncomfortable room during lunch time that I was struggling now and I wanted to move Mat leave up a week. So I need to just get through the next 8 working days. Gonna just take it one day at a time. Ive also handed off the stressful projects so I can focus on getting organised for leaving. Hopefully will be less stressful

lopezalonso · September 2015

I understand that it may be a very difficult time and this is a decision only you can make for yourself. I personally commuted 2 hours each way until my due date. Perhaps my pregnancy was much different from yours but I think leaving any earlier than 35 weeks, unless your doctor says it is medically necessary, may be a bit much. I promise that you will be much more exhausted after having the baby and will want the time off then. If your employer is open to you working from home, that would be wonderful. I personally, would save up as many days as possible for after baby arrives but that's just me.

athomas8369 · September 2015

I feel your pain. I work as a manager of a dog boarding facility. I work 10 hour shifts on my feet mostly all day, being jumped on and generally taken advantage of by dogs lol. I have done this thru 3 pregnancies and while I do think it keeps me in good shape, I am exhausted by the end of my work day. I wish i had some option of stopping sooner but with no real benefits that isn't going to happen. I wish people realized how hard it is to work at this point some days. My coworker asked me to crawl on my hands and knees to pressure wash under our kennels the other day because her knees hurt.....um 8 months pregnant here so no! Arg.

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