Community› The Bump Message Boards› Babies: 6 - 9 Months
Babies: 6 - 9 Months
New Discussion

Help me!

ScijavScijav member
in Babies: 6 - 9 Months
Hello all, I have a beautiful 8 month old DD. She is very smart, alert and full of energy. But I am so exhausted. She is a high needs baby, so nothing has been easy, quite the opposite actually. My husband is in his busy time at work so its just me all day long to do everything and I am so drained. She refuses the bottle, so even though there are willing babysitters, the time period is very limited. She nurses to sleep, and even though she goes to sleep fine for others, she will make up that nursing session sometime during the night, even if I feed her right before they start the bedtime routine, she cant feed as well because its not her normal feeding time. I have to nurse her in my room, in dim lighting and without any background noise because she is so easily stimulated. Issue is she is sooooo sleep sensitive. Waking up for that extra feed in the night means her next day is difficult. She is way harder to get down for naps (if I can get her down) and they are never as long. This kid is "sleep begets sleep," the hard part is getting that sleep in the first place. When she is well rested she goes down for naps and at night fairly easily and will usually wake for one night feed. I have to have two white noise machines going and multiple layers on the windows to block any light. If she is even 15 minutes late going down for a nap that nap is often shot. She may go down, but if she does she wont sleep longer that 30 minutes. I am just so tired because its all me all the time fighting with her on sleep. I get nothing done ever, she has like one or two good days a week. Everyone just keeps telling me it will get better as she gets older, how old? Everyone else I know babies sleep pretty well (I know I shouldn't compare, hard not to though). I know high needs babies come with their own way of doing things, but just nothing seems to work unless I am super crazy strict, and even that doesn't always work. I have tried shortening wake times, lengthening wake times, sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn't. I have done 2-3-4, CIO with checks, etc. Its like everyday is a new day with her and what worked one day wont the next. I dont know if anyone has any advice, but it felt good to vent a little bit. Sorry this is so long!
Report Reply to Post

Re: Help me!

  • BigboobsmcgeeBigboobsmcgee member

    I am so sorry things are so tough for you. It must be exhausting :( I think all parents have been there at some point.

    My daughter who is now almost a year old was still waking once a night to eat at 8 months old. That part isn't so abnormal. Is it just the sleep part that is tough with her? I mean does she play or do other things by herself just fine? 

    For my daughter, she used to fight every single nap. But my son did that too around the same age. It's what babies do. I'd feed her in the rocker then lay her down in the crib and she would immediately stand up and start crying. So I would hug her, give her a kiss and walk out of the room. I'm not opposed to letting my kids cry before going to sleep. She has been fed, has a clean diaper, she's tired but she's just fighting sleep because that's what babies do. I did this "method" with both kids and it has worked well each time. I know every baby is different for my kids, doing checks or being more "hands on" made everything worse.

    I hope somehow this post helps you but I haven't had a high needs baby and I don't nurse so I'm not sure how much help I can be. Good luck to you and vent all you want!

    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • ScijavScijav member
    Thank you! Its just nice to hear that I am not the only one who deals with this because I feel like a lot of people in my life either don't believe me or think its strange. She has fought ever nap since I started trying to get her to nap (around 3 months). The bedtime routine is hit or miss, sometimes goes well, sometimes does not. I am not opposed to letting her cry for awhile before sleep. I put her in her crib and leave, a lot of the times by the time I get to the end of the stairs she has stopped, issue is many times she just wont nap in that situation. I know she can put herself to sleep, she does it, but its just not regular. As long as she is well rested she is great. She loves to feed herself finger foods and will play around on the floor happily. Its just the sleep thing. When her first nap is screwed, the whole day and night will be screwed. I dont mind that she gets up once (or even twice) at night, I know its normal and she feeds and goes back to sleep, so I am lucky in that way, its just tough when I fight her all day to nap and then she is up 3, 4, 5 times that night, and then the next day she is overtired and we start all over again. I just wonder if she maybe will grow out of this, or if I need to do a certain sleep training method. I just hate the idea of letting her cry for an hour (or more) when her whole issue is being overtired. Maybe I am just too soft, lol.
    Report Reply
  • BigboobsmcgeeBigboobsmcgee member

    You are absolutely not alone. Always remember that.

    I DON'T recommend ever letting a baby cry for an hour. The longest I've gone with my kids is about 20 minutes, then they stop and go to sleep.

    She will grow out of this...eventually. I really believe that. It's just a matter of when.

    Naps suck. Period. I remember being SOOO frustrated with my first kid because I could not get it right. I couldn't get him to take good naps. I would cry, scream and just be at my wits end and then with my second kid, I stopped trying so hard. I know that sounds so easy but it truly was. I stopped putting pressure on MYSELF and watched for tired cues, then put her down right when I could tell she was tired. I still give her a bottle before a nap, rock her and put her to bed. I believe that putting them down at the right time is key. She was the one that dictated her naps, what time they should be and how many.

    Is your LO taking 2 naps right now?

    Report Reply
  • ScijavScijav member
    When putting her down for sleep I don't let her cry for an hour, but you would be surprised how many people suggest this to me. The times where she is still crying after 10-15 minutes she usually wont go to sleep on her own. I listen in 5 minute intervals, if she seems to be calming down after 5, I wait another 5 to see what happens. Sometimes in her sleep she wakes up for 5-10 minutes cries, and then will go back to sleep when she's overtired. I have gone up before and its like she isn't even awake, and me going up wakes her and she wont go back down. Yes, naps just do suck. I used to really watch tired cues but I haven't found them reliable the last few weeks. She will be rubbing her eyes sometimes an hour after she gets up and there is no way she would nap. The thing I have found the most reliable is following wake time charts, but its tough figuring out how to alter it when they don't nap long enough or skip a nap, etc. Yes, she is on two naps a day, has been for almost a month.
    Report Reply
  • mariecossmariecoss member
    I have a high needs baby too he is sooooooo active n a light sleeper 7months. I don't know what sleep is anymore ! I'm trying to figure out how to get him to sleep at night 
    Report Reply
  • valerie1132valerie1132 member
    What are your thoughts on daycare? Are you going back to work? My 6 mo daughter is very clingy and naps were very hard for us. She goes to an in home daycare, just her and a 9 month old baby. On weekdays she gets more tuckered out from playing with her friend that she actually naps and sleeps better at night. I have to really keep her occupied on weekends. 

    Also-I've thrown the nap times out the window. I just put her down when she seems tired. Once I let go of the "nap time" and that she was early or late for it, my anxiety about it reduced. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make em drink!
    Report Reply
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"