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November 2015 Moms
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Seeing a Preggo Smoker

MercyC1130MercyC1130 member
edited September 2015 in November 2015 Moms
Not too long ago SO and I made a trip to BRU. Walking up to the door I couldn't believe my eyes, a (very) pregnant lady was standing there finishing her cigarette (with her also smoking partner and daughter)((Right by the door, mind you, where other children and moms and pregnant women are obviously walking through)). I honestly kind of just looked away and went inside.
It got me wondering though, should I have said something? Would you say something? What the hell do you say to that, because it's pretty common knowledge that pregnant smoking is bad? Have any of you been in this kind of situation? I'm really curious as to how others would react in a situation like this.

Now, I used to smoke, a lot. As soon as I found out I was pregnant (surprise!) I quit and never looked back. I understand some women have tough times quitting when they find out and that somehow others have been told to keep smoking or slowly wean yourself off. Fine. The point is that we acknowledge it is incredibly detrimental to our babies and are working to quit. This isn't to judge those who have smoked or are having trouble here quitting. If that is you, maybe please direct yourself somewhere that is going to be supportive to helping you being as healthy for your baby as possible.
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Re: Seeing a Preggo Smoker

  • Escheffler34Escheffler34 member
    Oh my gosh I had the same predicament 2 weeks ago at my appt. There was a pregnant woman smoking OUTSIDE OF THE OBGYN OFFICE. Her and her bf and mom were experiencing car troubles and my husband and I were about 10 mins early for our appointment so we tried to jump them. She was sitting there on the curb SHARING A CIG WITH HER BOYFRIEND. And I was about 31 weeks and she seemed to be further along than me (but I can't say for sure.) I have never smoked so I don't know how hard it is to quit, but by the time you're 30 ish weeks I'd think you'd have quit already if you were going to. Which also means she's probably going to smoke around her baby which also drives me nuts. I didn't say anything because I'm SURE she knows how horrible it is, but to be honest I really wanted to. I was definitely staring though
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  • NovvbabyNovvbaby member
    Nope I would have not said anything at all ... Not my business if I see someone pregnant and smoking if she doesn't care about her or her baby why should I even bother !
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  • MercyC1130MercyC1130 member
    I'm with both you PP. Another thought I have is that lady might be smoking as a way to kick a worse sort of drug habit. Who knows?
    I can't see myself doing anything differently, but that said I had a FB friend post a picture of a pregnant lady smoking and she and all these other girls were saying how they would have said this or that or ripped the cigarette out of her mouth..
    That made me curious to see what you, actual pregnant ladies thought.
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  • MaeMae91MaeMae91 member
    I wouldn't have said anything about her smoking, that's her choice, but I might have said something if she was within 25 feet of the door, in Utah it's against the law to smoke that close to a door, and it should be observed, especially in front of a baby store!!
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  • oliveoil95oliveoil95 member
    A couple months into my pregnancy I saw this. This woman was standing in front of me and affectionately holding her stomach like she was pregnant. I thought I was imagining her stance at first. Then she started smoking a cigarette right in front of me after she confirmed to me she was pregnant. I never actually saw a pregnant woman smoke before so I just sat there quietly.


    She then proceeded to tell me how she already has three kids with 2 different dads and all her pregnancys have been high risk. The she tried to tell me all four of her pregnancies happened while on birth control and she even took plan B. This woman is a load of work.


    Poor babies :/
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  • MercyC1130MercyC1130 member
    kmd91 said:

    Escheffler34 said:

    Oh my gosh I had the same predicament 2 weeks ago at my appt. There was a pregnant woman smoking OUTSIDE OF THE OBGYN OFFICE. Her and her bf and mom were experiencing car troubles and my husband and I were about 10 mins early for our appointment so we tried to jump them. She was sitting there on the curb SHARING A CIG WITH HER BOYFRIEND. And I was about 31 weeks and she seemed to be further along than me (but I can't say for sure.) I have never smoked so I don't know how hard it is to quit, but by the time you're 30 ish weeks I'd think you'd have quit already if you were going to. Which also means she's probably going to smoke around her baby which also drives me nuts. I didn't say anything because I'm SURE she knows how horrible it is, but to be honest I really wanted to. I was definitely staring though

    Also, while I'm not saying it makes it okay, this was another thought I also had. When it's a stranger you don't know if this is a one off sort of thing. Clearly she was in a stressful situation with the car trouble and maybe felt the need to take the edge off and destress a little. No, it's not right, and it's not good for baby. But for all we know that could have been the only smoking she's done her entire pregnancy. I know I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt where they likely don't deserve it, but at the end of the day we can't know the full picture from a one off encounter with someone.
    This. Mostly.
    I hated the fact that they were smoking right by the entrance of the store and we had to walk through a cloud of someone else smoke to get into a baby store. At least take it somewhere where your decision is affecting your body.
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  • MercyC1130MercyC1130 member
    @CarrieOct15 This is where my mind wanders..
    WHAT IF everyone who saw her told her, at least kindly and genuinely, told her again to think about her baby? Is it wishful thinking to think it might really start to dawn on someone?...OR, lol, hear me out, what if everyone in public did keeping ripping a cigarette out of their mouth? That seems like it would cause a lot of fights. Or maybe she would just stick to smoking in private because that would just be annoying.
    But you're right, and I also think about where the line gets drawn.
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  • tripledaggerWed95976tripledaggerWed95976 member
    @CarrieOct15 that's an excellent point...b4 I read ur post I was going to say I wouldn't say anything to a pregnant woman who was smoking cuz she obviously already knows it's bad yet has still made the decision to keep smoking.. However, ur totally right about comparing it w child abuse....a couple yrs ago I saw a dad slap his young daughter across the face... I ran up to him and screamed at him and almost called the police... So now I think, yah maybe I would say something to a pregnant smoker (though it most likely wouldn't change the situation in any way)
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  • HopefulMNMomHopefulMNMom member
    I think you were right to mind your own business. It's sad that this happens but it happens all the time... Pregnant women smoke, drink & do drugs knowing how harmful they are to the baby. As much as we want these women to stop, nothing can be said to them that they don't already know. They are making the decision to continue this behavior. Saying something wouldn't have changed her behavior and could've put you in a bad situation.
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  • vomitrosavomitrosa member
    It's not your business to say something, she knows what she's doing isn't in the best interest of her baby....BUT unfortunately some women don't care. My best friends SIL smoked through all 3 of her pregnancies and it really enraged me and most of us around her, but there isn't anything you can do. It's really terrible, all 3 of her kids have serious asthma issues...and she will blame those issues on anything and everything else except her own behavior.
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  • shellperryshellperry member
    edited September 2015
    I'm wonder what state u are in because at the hospital I'm delivering at they test the baby after birth for nicaten. . . I don't think I spelled that right. But anyways I don't no what happens if it's positive but it can't be good
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  • MercyC1130MercyC1130 member
    @shellperry In Florida. I don't know the laws here about that, but if the health and wellbeing of your baby isn't a top priority, than I highly doubt the laws surrounding the health and wellbeing of your child are either.
    Also, like I said before, if it's keeping someone of worse drugs they may prefer the reprucussions of a nicotine test to a methamphetamine test. Or if it's just a cigarette here and there, who knows what they can truly test to find.
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  • RaisingJulianRaisingJulian member
    tripledaggerWed95976 said:

    @CarrieOct15 that's an excellent point...b4 I read ur post I was going to say I wouldn't say anything to a pregnant woman who was smoking cuz she obviously already knows it's bad yet has still made the decision to keep smoking..
    However, ur totally right about comparing it w child abuse....a couple yrs ago I saw a dad slap his young daughter across the face... I ran up to him and screamed at him and almost called the police... So now I think, yah maybe I would say something to a pregnant smoker (though it most likely wouldn't change the situation in any way)

    When I think of situations like that where people hurt their kids in public I can't even imagine what they do in the privacy of their owns homes.
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  • MercyC1130MercyC1130 member
    edited September 2015
    RaisingJulian said:

    tripledaggerWed95976 said:

    @CarrieOct15 that's an excellent point...b4 I read ur post I was going to say I wouldn't say anything to a pregnant woman who was smoking cuz she obviously already knows it's bad yet has still made the decision to keep smoking..
    However, ur totally right about comparing it w child abuse....a couple yrs ago I saw a dad slap his young daughter across the face... I ran up to him and screamed at him and almost called the police... So now I think, yah maybe I would say something to a pregnant smoker (though it most likely wouldn't change the situation in any way)

    When I think of situations like that where people hurt their kids in public I can't even imagine what they do in the privacy of their owns homes.
    Yep. Also, not to dissuade anyone from saying something if you do see abuse, but I know that sometimes an abusive person, if confronted and threatened with police or cfs without it getting carried through, will actually get angrier and when that kid and person are alone hell really breaks loose.
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  • MercyC1130MercyC1130 member
    VexedMommy said:


    MercyC1130 said:



    Yep. Also, not to dissuade from saying something if they see abuse, but I know that sometimes an abusive person if confronted and threatened with police or cfs without it getting carried through will actually get angrier and when that kid and person are alone hell really breaks loose.

    It can also discourage the child if the person threatens with police or CPS and no one ever shows up to stop things then it can create a situation of learned helplessness.  The child might think, "Someone already told the police and they aren't coming to help so going to the authorities doesn't change anything."  Worse yet they may think, "I guess this really is my fault since the police know about it and aren't helping me.  Maybe I really am just bad and deserve this."


    This hits home hard. I feel that many police agencies are not qualified or prepared to handle these situations and end up treating them far too mildly.
    Also, my experiences with child and family services/ CPS are like a sick joke.
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  • shellperryshellperry member
    I feel ppl miss use cps at least around here. I work closely with social worker who are under staffed by far and they often go to over 16 houses in a day most of the calls are unfounded meaning ex friend or in-laws to someone called out of spite. So if someone calls some one in it takes an average of 2 to 3 weeks befor anyone can look into the situation unless the call is from a mandated reporter like a school or doctor. So that being said unfortunately the naboor that calls about the child be beaten by the boyfriend or who ever gets moved down the list. If u see abuse like omg he could truly hurt that child just call the cops don't try to get info and report it later. If police show up and a child is involved cps is already on there way
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  • helsbels222helsbels222 member
    As much as you really want to say something to her, do you honestly think what you would have had to say would make a difference? She's most likely heard it all and just doesn't care. There really isn't much you could have done.
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  • MercyC1130MercyC1130 member
    shellperry said:

    I feel ppl miss use cps at least around here. I work closely with social worker who are under staffed by far and they often go to over 16 houses in a day most of the calls are unfounded meaning ex friend or in-laws to someone called out of spite. So if someone calls some one in it takes an average of 2 to 3 weeks befor anyone can look into the situation unless the call is from a mandated reporter like a school or doctor. So that being said unfortunately the naboor that calls about the child be beaten by the boyfriend or who ever gets moved down the list. If u see abuse like omg he could truly hurt that child just call the cops don't try to get info and report it later. If police show up and a child is involved cps is already on there way

    Was not aware that if a child is involved and police are called than CPS gets informed right away as well.
    I probably could of assumed that most social work and other programs like such would be, unfortunately, severely understaffed (probably underpaid too, but this is not based on anything I've read, just seems to be a trend with important jobs; teachers, nurses, ect)
    That said, it still doesn't make it okay and does make it just as dangerous or shitty or scary for children in those situations. It's not justification to say, 'We were too busy to get this child out of a bad place'.
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  • shellperryshellperry member
    MercyC1130 said:

    shellperry said:

    I feel ppl miss use cps at least around here. I work closely with social worker who are under staffed by far and they often go to over 16 houses in a day most of the calls are unfounded meaning ex friend or in-laws to someone called out of spite. So if someone calls some one in it takes an average of 2 to 3 weeks befor anyone can look into the situation unless the call is from a mandated reporter like a school or doctor. So that being said unfortunately the naboor that calls about the child be beaten by the boyfriend or who ever gets moved down the list. If u see abuse like omg he could truly hurt that child just call the cops don't try to get info and report it later. If police show up and a child is involved cps is already on there way

    Was not aware that if a child is involved and police are called than CPS gets informed right away as well.
    I probably could of assumed that most social work and other programs like such would be, unfortunately, severely understaffed (probably underpaid too, but this is not based on anything I've read, just seems to be a trend with important jobs; teachers, nurses, ect)
    That said, it still doesn't make it okay and does make it just as dangerous or shitty or scary for children in those situations. It's not justification to say, 'We were too busy to get this child out of a bad place'.
    That would the real world unfortunately bad place would be considered physical abuse or u starving a child. Pp mentioned a girl getting slapped in public call cops asap. Thier are too many ppl who file false reports out of spite that we wast time on bs. Instead of the ones who really need to be removed from where they are. Unfortunately there's been more then one situation around here where a child lost thier life due to the fact that no one looked into it on time because they were following up on a different case where thier was no danger and someone didn't agree with someone else's parenting choose if u see abuse call the police exspcaly in public there may be cameras to provide evidence. And in order to remove a child thier has to be proff we can't just go off of what someone is saying most abused children defend thier parents even when being harmed because they are scared of what will happen when they leavr
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  • shellperryshellperry member
    Have u ever read the child called it? May job makes that kids life in the book look easyer then the thing I've seen parent due to there child. I still have nightmares about some of the.thing I've seen. One time I was asked to come in to a call from a doctor office because I was needed to transport a child to the hospital I'm a county nurse and they needed some to be in the ambulance the child was being t ooken into state custody. It was a baby girl a her 6 week check up she had 3 broken ribs a punctured Lung her arm was dislocated and most of her body was bruised the mother said she had Iinly set her down in her car seat a lil roughly. Turns out a week early the mother was seen in tops shaking the baby tops had Iit on camera however the original reports from tops only said what the mother was wearing and what street she live on thier was no way to track her till she showed up at the doctor office
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  • tripledaggerWed95976tripledaggerWed95976 member
    I definitely respect all of ur opinions that yelling at someone who is abusing a child could potentially cause negative things to happen. I can only speak for myself, I was physically abused by my stepmom (often in public) and not one person ever tried to stop her. I grew up thinking no one cared enough to help or say something. Obviously, looking back now as an adult I can see people just probably had no idea what to do. But as a child I didn't understand why no one was helping me.
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  • thegingeravengerthegingeravenger member
    kmd91 said:

    Escheffler34 said:

    Oh my gosh I had the same predicament 2 weeks ago at my appt. There was a pregnant woman smoking OUTSIDE OF THE OBGYN OFFICE. Her and her bf and mom were experiencing car troubles and my husband and I were about 10 mins early for our appointment so we tried to jump them. She was sitting there on the curb SHARING A CIG WITH HER BOYFRIEND. And I was about 31 weeks and she seemed to be further along than me (but I can't say for sure.) I have never smoked so I don't know how hard it is to quit, but by the time you're 30 ish weeks I'd think you'd have quit already if you were going to. Which also means she's probably going to smoke around her baby which also drives me nuts. I didn't say anything because I'm SURE she knows how horrible it is, but to be honest I really wanted to. I was definitely staring though

    Also, while I'm not saying it makes it okay, this was another thought I also had. When it's a stranger you don't know if this is a one off sort of thing. Clearly she was in a stressful situation with the car trouble and maybe felt the need to take the edge off and destress a little. No, it's not right, and it's not good for baby. But for all we know that could have been the only smoking she's done her entire pregnancy. I know I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt where they likely don't deserve it, but at the end of the day we can't know the full picture from a one off encounter with someone.
    I had this same thought. We all handle stress differently - she just could have had all she can take that day and told her boyfriend that he really needed to let her take a few hits off his cigarette that day. I agree with PPs about minding my own business for the most part with pregnant women smoking. There's a difference between having a frank conversation with someone you know than going up and preaching to a stranger.

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  • Escheffler34Escheffler34 member
    thegingeravenger said:
    Oh my gosh I had the same predicament 2 weeks ago at my appt. There was a pregnant woman smoking OUTSIDE OF THE OBGYN OFFICE. Her and her bf and mom were experiencing car troubles and my husband and I were about 10 mins early for our appointment so we tried to jump them. She was sitting there on the curb SHARING A CIG WITH HER BOYFRIEND. And I was about 31 weeks and she seemed to be further along than me (but I can't say for sure.) I have never smoked so I don't know how hard it is to quit, but by the time you're 30 ish weeks I'd think you'd have quit already if you were going to. Which also means she's probably going to smoke around her baby which also drives me nuts. I didn't say anything because I'm SURE she knows how horrible it is, but to be honest I really wanted to. I was definitely staring though
    Also, while I'm not saying it makes it okay, this was another thought I also had. When it's a stranger you don't know if this is a one off sort of thing. Clearly she was in a stressful situation with the car trouble and maybe felt the need to take the edge off and destress a little. No, it's not right, and it's not good for baby. But for all we know that could have been the only smoking she's done her entire pregnancy. I know I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt where they likely don't deserve it, but at the end of the day we can't know the full picture from a one off encounter with someone.
    I had this same thought. We all handle stress differently - she just could have had all she can take that day and told her boyfriend that he really needed to let her take a few hits off his cigarette that day. I agree with PPs about minding my own business for the most part with pregnant women smoking. There's a difference between having a frank conversation with someone you know than going up and preaching to a stranger.
    You guys are absolutely right. I don't know her life or what else she could have been going through, and I try not to judge! 
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  • eamarateamarat member
    To a total stranger, I wouldn't say anything about her smoking and the damage it's doing to her two children buuut as someone with asthma, if she is too close to the store's entrance I may ask her to move farther away or speak with a store manager as I figure, in most cases, they could handle speaking to her better than I could. That being said, in most of my area, we've now got a stricter smoking ban. Whether it's 25ft or 50ft of entrances, I'm not sure but it seems to be helping with that aspect.
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  • KeHill08KeHill08 member
    Unfortunately I think it's one of those not my circus, not my monkey situations. I think everyone knows smoking period is bad, not just during pregnancy, but sometimes people have a hard time beating the addiction. My BIL's ex girl friend smoked while she was pregnant with their daughter and as much as I couldn't stand seeing it, as bad as it sounds, I thought to myself many times at least she stopped drinking for the time being. I think in situations like that you just have to bite your tongue and walk away as difficult as it can be. You're doing what you can to make sure your baby has the best start possible and is as healthy as possible, and as frustrating as it is, sometimes that's all you can do.
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  • nano1nano1 member
    All your stories are making me sad! I asked a man to put out his cigarette the other day as I was sitting with my almost 2yr old son and am obviously prego at this point. I was really nice about it and he apologized. I can't imagine what I would feel compelled to say if I actually saw a pregnant woman smoking. Where I'm from that's definitely not a common thing to see.
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  • WeirdAliceWeirdAlice member
    My brothers mom had been smoking for years and years and years before she had him, when we went in to her appointments the Dr had said to cut back a little at a time and to not quit completely. At first I couldn't believe he had told her this but I kept my mouth shut and listened because the look on my face must have said it all.
    His response to that was the stress of quitting and the withdraw from quitting cold turkey could have caused the baby to go into stress as well and (it was early on in her pregnancy when this was discussed) could have caused a miscarriage. So he had her cut back so much a month instead of just dropping it and adding more risks.

    Yes smoking is obviously bad, especially when pregnant, but not knowing the situation it was probably best you didn't say anything.
    As another poster said it could also be her curbing an even worse drug habit.
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  • lyankowilyankowi member
    I just wonder what this lady was thinking doing it outside of BRU obviously pregnant woman and small children are going to be coming and going from this place. I would of given her the stink eye as I walked by, your seriously looking for trouble smoking there.
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  • semulcahysemulcahy member
    It's a tough call to make. I smoked a lot, right up until I found out I was pregnant, but couldn't make myself quit right away, because as PP have said, it's freakin hard! Plus you add on the stress of finding out you're expecting (for me anyway) and it made it nearly impossible. It was about a month and a half after I found out that I quit for good, and I felt freaking horrible about it. On the one hand, maybe she is trying to quit, and a stranger calling her on it would have made her feel even worse. But on the other, maybe she isn't trying at all and could use that reality check. Who knows?
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  • riott1977riott1977 member
    I have always been a non-smoker so I don't know from any personal experience how hard it is to quit smoking, but it is possible that a pregnant woman is unable to completely quit.  Not all pregnancies are planned and quitting, as it seems to me, is an individual experience that people have differing degrees of difficulty with.  I don't think it is anyone's place to say anything to a perfect stranger smoking a cigarette.  You don't know how often they smoke or what they have or haven't tried doing.  

    There are a lot of things that are not good for the baby when a woman is pregnant, being overweight, gaining too much weight, being out of shape, not getting enough exercise, getting too much exercise, not eating enough, being too thin, being over 35, having a chronic illness, smoking, drinking alcohol, too much caffeine, not drinking enough fluids, not getting enough rest, too much stress, eating certain foods like sushi, under cooked meat and lunch meat etc...  Who are we to say which thing is worse for the baby (are we doctors), and how much of something, a person we don't know, is doing.  I think if you don't know the person, you also don't know the frequency of the "bad" thing and you don't know what they have tried already. And many people smoke while pregnant and still have very healthy children.  And people who do everything according to the book can end up with a child with disabilities.  

    I know I am 38, I have lupus, so I am taking a risk of having a child with problems, but I still purposely conceived and I am thrilled to be having a wonderful baby girl.  But some people could see it as wrong to conceive when there is an increased risk of health problems, but I don't think it is their right to say anything about it.  I will love and care for my child no matter what, and I am doing everything I can to help her not have any problems.  But my 15 year old son's teacher felt comfortable telling him that I am too old to be having a child and that there is a high risk that she will have health problems because of my age.  And even though he is right about the increased risk, it was wrong for him to say anything about it.  
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  • IvyBlue72IvyBlue72 member
    riott1977 said:

    I have always been a non-smoker so I don't know from any personal experience how hard it is to quit smoking, but it is possible that a pregnant woman is unable to completely quit.  Not all pregnancies are planned and quitting, as it seems to me, is an individual experience that people have differing degrees of difficulty with.  I don't think it is anyone's place to say anything to a perfect stranger smoking a cigarette.  You don't know how often they smoke or what they have or haven't tried doing.  


    There are a lot of things that are not good for the baby when a woman is pregnant, being overweight, gaining too much weight, being out of shape, not getting enough exercise, getting too much exercise, not eating enough, being too thin, being over 35, having a chronic illness, smoking, drinking alcohol, too much caffeine, not drinking enough fluids, not getting enough rest, too much stress, eating certain foods like sushi, under cooked meat and lunch meat etc...  Who are we to say which thing is worse for the baby (are we doctors), and how much of something, a person we don't know, is doing.  I think if you don't know the person, you also don't know the frequency of the "bad" thing and you don't know what they have tried already. And many people smoke while pregnant and still have very healthy children.  And people who do everything according to the book can end up with a child with disabilities.  

    I know I am 38, I have lupus, so I am taking a risk of having a child with problems, but I still purposely conceived and I am thrilled to be having a wonderful baby girl.  But some people could see it as wrong to conceive when there is an increased risk of health problems, but I don't think it is their right to say anything about it.  I will love and care for my child no matter what, and I am doing everything I can to help her not have any problems.  But my 15 year old son's teacher felt comfortable telling him that I am too old to be having a child and that there is a high risk that she will have health problems because of my age.  And even though he is right about the increased risk, it was wrong for him to say anything about it.  

    So your saying in not so many words that it's ok to smoke whilst pregnant? Because it sounds to me as though you are.
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  • VexedMommyVexedMommy member
    IvyBlue72 said:
    I have always been a non-smoker so I don't know from any personal experience how hard it is to quit smoking, but it is possible that a pregnant woman is unable to completely quit.  Not all pregnancies are planned and quitting, as it seems to me, is an individual experience that people have differing degrees of difficulty with.  I don't think it is anyone's place to say anything to a perfect stranger smoking a cigarette.  You don't know how often they smoke or what they have or haven't tried doing.  

    There are a lot of things that are not good for the baby when a woman is pregnant, being overweight, gaining too much weight, being out of shape, not getting enough exercise, getting too much exercise, not eating enough, being too thin, being over 35, having a chronic illness, smoking, drinking alcohol, too much caffeine, not drinking enough fluids, not getting enough rest, too much stress, eating certain foods like sushi, under cooked meat and lunch meat etc...  Who are we to say which thing is worse for the baby (are we doctors), and how much of something, a person we don't know, is doing.  I think if you don't know the person, you also don't know the frequency of the "bad" thing and you don't know what they have tried already. And many people smoke while pregnant and still have very healthy children.  And people who do everything according to the book can end up with a child with disabilities.  

    I know I am 38, I have lupus, so I am taking a risk of having a child with problems, but I still purposely conceived and I am thrilled to be having a wonderful baby girl.  But some people could see it as wrong to conceive when there is an increased risk of health problems, but I don't think it is their right to say anything about it.  I will love and care for my child no matter what, and I am doing everything I can to help her not have any problems.  But my 15 year old son's teacher felt comfortable telling him that I am too old to be having a child and that there is a high risk that she will have health problems because of my age.  And even though he is right about the increased risk, it was wrong for him to say anything about it.  
    So your saying in not so many words that it's ok to smoke whilst pregnant? Because it sounds to me as though you are.
    While I agree with not saying anything to the mother equating all of the above is also incorrect.  We are (mostly) not doctors, but we do have the ability to read a doctor's research.  It is proven fact that smoking throughout pregnancy is worse than eating high grade sushi, deli meats, and caffeine.  Up to 200mg  of caffeine per day is even considered completely safe for pregnancy. 
    If there's something strange underneath the hood.  Who you gonna call?  Your Doctor.  If there's something weird and it don't look good.  Who you gonna call?  Your Doctor.  Immediately.  If it's new, painful, and possibly pregnancy related get your ass off the internet and call your doctor.  It's for your health and your child's. 




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  • riott1977riott1977 member
    I am saying it is not good to do a lot of things while pregnant.  But people still do them.  I don't think it is good to smoke while pregnant, but I don't think it is my place to criticize someone I don't know for smoking, because I don't know enough about them to know their particular situation.  If it was a close friend or loved one, I might compassionately discuss my concerns with them and offer help to quit.  Smoking is an addiction, I think most people who do it are not happy they do it.  I just wouldn't judge based an encounter with someone I don't know. I don't think it is equivalent to child abuse. The health risks associated with smoking are not much different than caffeine and other things that are socially acceptable and people wouldn't accuse a pregnant of abuse for drinking a coffee.  It could be one coffee in a week or it could be her 5th coffee that day, and the same is true for the cigarette that I am seeing. But that is just my opinion and I don't expect everyone to agree with me. 
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