Dr is telling me to think about a c-section

legallyreese · September 2015

I went to my 36 week appointment and upon exam my Doctor said I would definitely need an epidural. He said based on the exam and how uncomfortable I was that I would need strong pain control. I said ok but I was planning to decide when I went into labor bc I was trying to be as natural as possible. Last week at my 37 week cervical exam he states, "are you sure you don't want to have a c-section, you need to think strongly about it" due to my pain and uncomfortableness when examined me. I have to be very relaxed to be comfortable down there. I left the office bleeding and painful. Anyway, since I have talked to several others and some medical professionals that say he spoke to soon and that I should not plan an elective csec if I don't want to. Now I don't know what to do bc I don't want to hurt me or my baby. The dr even said he's seen where moms push the babies head out and then "freak" out bc they can't get the shoulders out and they wind up hurting their babies. He said he didn't want me to be one of those! I am scared now!! My next appt is on Wed and I guess we will discuss it some more.

Msdpgp · September 2015

That's crazy! Every labor is different, and to push an elective c-section (which is MAJOR surgery) for no medical reason is ridiculous. Get a second opinion from a doctor that is sympathetic/ friendly/interested in natural birth.

tate62610 · September 2015

Normally I'm in favor of listening to your doctor but he sounds like he's pushing his own agenda on you. Just because you're uncomfortable during an exam does NOT mean you are not capable of having a vaginal birth. I really think he needs to be more encouraging and stop trying to scare you out of having a vaginal birth.

1stComesLove421 · September 2015

I just don't like doctors that push for medically unnecessary c-sections. Before even conceiving our first I was told by an OB that she would c-section me in a heartbeat, just because I'm barely under 5 foot. Needless to say I found an OB that was willing to work with me and I did just fine without a c-section.

If you or your doctor feel it is medically needed I suggest doing so. But if you feel you need another professional opinion I would talk with a 2nd OB. In the end though work with your provider to select the safest and healthiest route for both you and baby. Good luck!

nbpa3027 · September 2015

I see where he is coming from because stress and the ability to relax actually can make a big difference in an unmediated childbirth, but I don't understand why an epidural isn't good enough. It also seems that if he is using the pain argument, I don't understand why a csection would be better because, theoretically, wouldn't the pain recovering from a csection be worse?

Unless it is something that you genuinely believe is better for you, I would turn down the csection and take pain control as you need it while you are in labor. And warn the nurses what he told you when you are admitted in labor so they know he as an agenda when it comes to getting your baby out.

And on the one hand I would wonder if I actually wanted him delivering my baby, but on the other hand, maybe a lot of women in his practice ask for a scheduled csection or take him up on his offer, so he is just assuming that's what you might want too.

cmjn94 · September 2015

So I'm just a few hours away from pushing (yay!) and my doctor was concerned about my pain tolerance too. But I made it all the way to 4cm with minimal pain meds and then when they put in the epidural I was able to sleep. I am notorious for low pain tolerance so I'm proud of myself.

I wouldn't elect for a C Section based on pain meds.

wildbutterfli2001 · September 2015

I would have found a new Dr. He doesn't have a very good bedside manner and seems to be using scare tactics to push his agenda. You may just have to bust out your inner bitch and state your case and stand your ground. Not to mention I would add that he needs to be more supportive of your wishes!

LydiaPick · September 2015

Wow. I would be finding a new doctor. Unless we are not getting the full story, this makes no sense. When I've had my cervix checked it's been extremely painful for me each time and I had some bleeding afterwards, both of which my OB said were totally normal (the pain during and bleeding after). When she was examining me she even apologized because she said, "I know, this always hurts." So I don't think your "lack of pain tolerance" when getting cervix checked has anything to do with anything. I agree with PPs....sounds like he is using scare tactics to basically tell you you are a wimp....and to say that you might "freak out" halfway through? What the heck. If you want to have all these medical interventions, or even just to consider them, that's totally fine but I would think about what YOU and your partner want. I usually trust dr's advice but this all sounds very odd to me. Good luck advocating for yourself- you can do it!!

Riannon2563 · September 2015

I vote new doctor too. Why is he trying to freak you out? Big vacation planned? Practice different relaxation techniques now and see what works for you. If you practice ten minutes a day, you'll be amazed at how much easier it becomes. Different positions will help too. Just experiment and breath, and remember the pain has a purpose.

Krysta6 · September 2015

This really makes me pissed for you! First of there is no way to know how your body will respond to labor -- maybe you'll be a unicorn that doesn't even feel contractions and sneeze the baby out! Second of all why is he trying to scare you! Third of all what does he actually know about the pain.. He is a MAN!

One of the OBs at my office always encourages the drugs. She says it's always a more happy experience when the mama has the epidural. Personally I want to try without but I've fully discussed all my options for medication if I decide to -- and she hasn't tried to scare me or anything.

JaqiDec04 · September 2015

Please please please find a new doctor.

Your current doctor sounds a whole lot like the one who delivered DD. He "accidentally" broke my water during an extremely painful membrane strip (it hurt because I wasn't dialated at all and he was breaking my water instead), and then had them start pitocin immediately. I was stuck in bed laboring for hours (you can't get out of bed with pitocin) before he finally ordered a c section.

He was a jerk. He told me multiple times I'd never make it to 40 weeks, and I should have listened to my guts. Because he made sure I didn't.

Find a new doctor. You don't need some quack scaring you while your in labor. You need calm and controlled.

JennKempen · September 2015

I agree in the opinion that you should find a new doctor. Discouraging comments coming this soon are a bad sign. Women's bodes are built and perfectly capable to do whatever you set your mind to and delivering babies is at the top of that list. You can do it, and if you are second guessing your doctor's strong (negative) opinions, there's a reason why.

Don't let anyone tell you that you cant do something if there are no medical complications.

Louisl · September 2015

Agree with everyone encouraging you to seek out a different OB. I am tiny and DH is a foot taller and broad, and I have very low pain tolerance, so this whole time I've been doubting my ability to do this vaginally, with or without drugs. But both my doula and my OB have been nothing but encouraging and have said "just start believing you can do it". There is evidence that having doubts and fear in your mind actually make it physically harder to deal with the pain and our bodies' ability to open up. So there is a big mental factor in all this. Having a dr doubting you and being negative will only make your job harder, not to mention more stressful! You deserve a better experience.

cbolton19 · September 2015

I agree with all of the previous posters. It sounds like this guy has a different agenda. I don't know why he thinks he could say something like that to you! I would recommend finding a new OB and consider getting a doula. A doula will help keep you calm and help keep your birth plan on track. From the sounds of it (I'm a FTM)any women have had painful cervical checks and then had perfectly fine births after. The cervical check is in no way an indication of how well you can or will handle labor. I think it is especially important that you trust your OB and feel comfortable.

amberrmariee20 · September 2015

You do not need a c section because your Dr "thinks" you'll be in too much pain. My first son was 9.7 lbs with a head of 39.5 so roughly 15 inches ? It was painful, yes! This time around I was asked every OB app if I want a c section because baby is estimated to be 9-10 lbs again and my son had some complications last time, shoulder dystocia, broken clavicle, nerve damage and I stick firmly to NO I do NOT want a c section.
I would not let your Dr pressure you into a c section, it's our choice to say no to one unless it's a medical emergency, and they also don't do elective c sections here !

komorebi · September 2015

Your doctor sounds like an idiot. Who likes vaginal exams? I have a strong reaction against any internal exams since having a bad one in my teens and I've had four unmedicated births. And yes often when a woman is pushing her baby out she feels like she can't. It's really intense. I think planned or not that doctor will end up giving you a csection. Sorry if that's harsh.

Telebell · September 2015

I'm a big fan of c sections and still agree with everyone else. You're going to need an ally in the delivery room if you stick with this dr.

leighann1 · September 2015

Chiming in with my two cents, though others have pretty well covered it. I definitely fall in the "trust but verify" camp when it comes to doctors, but yours sounds like a serious piece of work.

At the risk of sounding sexist, this is one big reason why I chose an all-female OB/GYN practice. I prefer for my doctor to have had similar experiences as me, and I prefer to not be patted on the head and talked down to (not that all men do this, but your doc sure seems to have done that). What he said to you is incredibly condescending, and frankly I think it's reportable (to whom, I'm not sure, but I would find out if that happened to me).

Seriously screwed up.

alz88 · September 2015

How the frick does he think women handled birth before epidurals and c-sections? It was 100% normal to labor and deliver with NO pain relief what so ever... womens bodies are designed to give birth! Tell him to pi$$ off with his negative comments. YOU CAN DO IT!! no body likes cervical exams they are ALWAYS painful+uncomfortable. . It has no reflection whatsoever on how you will handle your labor+birth!

MamaOwl15 · September 2015

I agree find a new doctor!

I personally opted to schedule a c-section for my second child, after a successful emergency c-section with my first. But I am upset for you that your doctor is pushing this at you and not YOU deciding to do it.

Let's face it, he's talking major surgery as an alternative to delivering the baby the way nature intended. Because that makes sense. You may have excoriating pain, decide you want drugs, end up needing an emergency c-section because baby gets stuck . . . But you should at least have the option to try for an unmedicated vaginal delivery if that's what you want.

wack0032 · September 2015

You're doctor is a dick. I would strongly recommend finding a new one that will be more supportive.

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