Did DH attend the first appointment with you?

kmd0501 · September 2015

In all of the excitement, I completely forgot to check DHs schedule to make sure he could come to the first appointment with me. He's trying to switch but we aren't sure it will be possible. I would just hate to have him miss the possibility of hearing baby's heart beat for the first time. I know their wont be an U/S (my OB doesn't do them in office) but a doppler is possible.

Did DH go with any of you ladies? If he didn't, did you feel he was missing out?

LizC216 · September 2015

Not mine. His schedule makes it really tough to come to appointments. He tries to make it to the first ultrasound appointment, but that's about it.

I don't think he is missing out. So much of it boring and routine...weight, bp, peeing in a cup, etc. The first appointment at my doctor's office is more informational. They do vitals and a blood draw, but no real exam until about 1-2 weeks later.

ETA: My doctor's office won't attempt to hear the heartbeat until 10 weeks. So for me, it wouldn't make sense to have him at the first appointment.

lalala2004 · September 2015

Yes, he went with me. I did, however, have an ultrasound. If I weren't going to, I'm not sure he would have gone with me.

How far along will you be? (If it's too early to hear anything on the Doppler, he really wouldn't miss anything).

kmd0501 · September 2015

6 weeks 3 days from my LMP

lalala2004 · September 2015

kmd0501 said:
6 weeks 3 days from my LMP

Way too early for Doppler. I wouldn't worry about him not being there.

My DH won't come back until I have another u/s (presumably the AS)

BuzzBee614 · September 2015

DH goes with me to the first ultrasound appointment and then will not go again until the anatomy scan unless something is wrong. I want to save as much of his leave time as possible.

When we get to the end he will attend those appointments closer to my due date because he wants to be able to ask questions, be involved, and be there for backup as we talk labor and delivery plans. I'm really glad I had him there last time around because I was in disagreement with my doctor about induction and it was nice to have someone else there supporting me.

Since you're not having an ultrasound he definitely won't be missing much and if it doesn't bother you then I'd just keep the appointment.

vinerie · September 2015

I wasn't going to have mine come as I thought the first appt. was just blood draws, etc. When I found out there would be an u/s, I asked him to come, and he will be coming. First appt. will be at 8 weeks.

lionstigersbears · September 2015

Same here, he comes for ultrasounds but not the regular appointments. Honestly they are so routine that sometimes I felt that it was silly for me to be there! (Don't worry, I know prenatal care is important, it's just very redundant when there aren't issues...which I'm grateful was my experience for the most part)

Jenly17 · September 2015

My first appt is a consultation. When I was Pg the first time around the appt was pretty quick, half hour tops. H was with me because they wanted to know medical information from his side of the family. I was glad he was there because I wouldn't have had the answers to many of the questions. This time around, I'm hoping they have ALL of this stuff on file and he can go to work as planned.

mlangblom · September 2015

I'm the odd man out, I guess. My DH comes to almost all of my appointments, and with the second pregnancy DS1 came too. We have an atypical schedule so it took minimum effort schedule appointments. I think it was nice to have him there because he also got to meet all the midwives and they knew him come delivery time.

Since I am back to work with this pregnancy and we have two toddlers, DH may come to less appointments. Though he likes to come and hear the heartbeat and ask all the questions I routinely forget. And there is no need for him to meet providers since after two pregnancies he knows them.

Bookhousegirl · September 2015

DH came to the first appt last time but won't be able to come this time. It's still too early to hear the heartbeat on a Doppler so it may be better to wait and have him come to the first appt with an ultrasound. My husband does better when there's something to actually see, I think that's the only way it really sinks in for him.

ocean134 · September 2015

My DH is coming with me and I schedule the appointment during his lunch and on a day if the week when he is less busy at work. Cannot wait to have him come with me.

gracefulruby33 · September 2015

DH came to all appointments until the last tri with DD, since they get to be so frequent. He came to my 40 week with DD because they were going to do NSTs if my BP continued to be elevated (it was at 39 weeks). So far I've only had the one appointment (at 9w6d) because we were having a dating u/s, although he would've come anyway I guess. My next appointment isn't until the last week of October and he will be there for that and the following appointment at 20 weeks, for the anatomy scan.

daphne814 · September 2015

I think my husband did come to the first appointment with our first babe, but I don't think it was necessary. First ultrasound is another story. He won't be able to come to either of the firsts this time around, but it's our third so I'm sure his fine with looking at the u/s printouts while baby is still just a gummy bear (our first appt and u/s is at 9weeks)

mariaalene · September 2015

Dh came to all appts last pregnancy. But now he has switched jobs and won't be able to go. He's really upset

saladflambe · September 2015

DH will not be at my first appointment later this week.

He will be at the 2nd one, which will be at 12 weeks, when they attempt to find the heartbeat with a doppler.

call+it+magic · September 2015

My DH didn't come with me to any appointments at my last pregnancy and probably won't go to any in this pregnancy.
I think these appointments are less interesting. And more focused on the mom to be.
I think at 6 weeks you won't be able to hear a heart beat. So don't worry about him not being there
However he goes with me to every ultrasound.

Bluejay3030 · September 2015

My H did not attend my first appointment with this baby or with DD. He tries to make the ultrasounds whenever possible, but not the OB visits.

klewis888 · September 2015

My DH will go to every appt where there is an ultrasound. I think he only missed one with DD due to work. I just had an u/s on Friday and DH and DD were both there. She'll be 2 next month and it was so cute she kept asking if I was ok because she thought the doctor was hurting me. She held my hand the whole time they did the u/s. Melted my heart. :x

JessicaB0627 · September 2015

DH went to most appointments with me last time. He likes being there and being involved. I also had so many complications with DD that he wanted to be there to hear the latest on what was going on.

krzyriver · September 2015

He couldn't come to my first ultrasound because he was in court getting full custody of his son, but he didn't miss anything. I have another ultrasound this Friday but he probably won't be able to come to this one either. As long as he can come to the ultrasound where we find out the sex, I don't think he'll be upset if he misses any other appointments.

cortney626 · September 2015

My Dr's office wouldn't attempt using the doppler before 12 weeks. My husband is going to our first appt tomorrow! But we get an ultrasound. He won't go to the routine ones. I've been the the dr before for non stop vomiting and I got an ultrasound then. He didn't go with me because I wasn't sure I was going to get one.

JessicaB0627 · September 2015

@krzyriver The anatomy scan is more than just finding out the sex. It's a very important ultrasound where some parents find out there are serious problems with their baby.

It's still early but there will be a lot of flaming for this in a few weeks.

FreeThoughtStorm · September 2015

He has the day off but will be watching our daughter.

krzyriver · September 2015

@JessicaB0627 I know, but finding out the sex is all he talks about. Lol. He has a child already so he knows better than I do what all the appointments are for. But he chooses not to even think about potential problems, so when I asked him if he wanted to come to any appointments he said "I'll try to come when I can, but the one I really care about is the one where we find out the sex." So I don't think he really cares about the others. I just drag my mom with me.

lmarie2009 · September 2015

My DH came to many appointments with me for our first pregnancy and enjoyed being more involved and having a chance to ask questions. He probably won't come as often this time unless there is an ultrasound. One thing you may want to consider about the first appointment is family medical history. My doctor asked a lot of questions about our families at the first appointment. If your DH can't come you may want to have a conversation about any issues that Run in his family.

kbrands7 · September 2015

DH came to every appointment but one last time. This time, I imagine he'll stay at home to watch DS for most appointments. Both he and DS will come to the NT and anatomy ultrasounds.

zekesmommy611 · September 2015

DH came to ultrasound appointments and appointments towards the end of my pregnancy with DS. DH won't be attending OB appointments because it's generally weight, blood pressure and pee in a cup.
With DS my OB didn't try the Doppler until 14 weeks and even then DS was too low and we can't hear his HB.

yodasmistress · September 2015

My H went with me for the first apt to confirm a heartbeat with our first. He did not go for #2. As of right now we have not made arrangements for him to go with me for the first appy for #3 on Monday.

LadySamLady · September 2015

My DH is very enthusiastic about being there for as many appointments as he can and as he is a writer who works from home we're lucky that he ought to be there for most of them. This is our first and we want to experience as much of it together as possible, I think it helps him feel more involved. We've had 2 Dr. appts (1st with my GYN to confirm pregnancy, 2nd to meet our OB and get blood work) and an ultrasound in between at 6 weeks, it was nice to have him by my side.

hellogoodbye2 · September 2015

Only for ultrasounds.

allen4tl · September 2015

I didn't have my husband come to the first appointment with me at 6 weeks because I thought it was just going to be blood work, peeing in a cup, etc. well, they ended up doing a vaginal ultrasound and I got to hear the heart beat. I felt awful that he wasn't there for that. I would definitely ask your doctor what exactly they are doing at that appointment.

soralette · September 2015

DH wants to be there for the ultrasounds, for sure. Last time, I had him come to one regular/routine appointment so he could meet the OB before delivery since her practice had your regular OB be the one delivering the baby ... annnnd then my OB was out of the country when I went into labour anyway, sigh!

Anyway, I think we'll probably do much the same this time -- he'll come to the ultrasounds and one or two of the regular appointments, so he can meet the midwife, but probably not more than that. I'll ask my doula if she wants to come to one of the appointments to meet the midwife, too, since my midwife is one of the ones in the area she hasn't worked with yet.

nerdymama15 · September 2015

Nope. But then again my first appt consists of peeing in a cup, a blood draw, and getting a packet of information from a nurse. That's it. No point in him coming for that crap. Heck, I'm not even interested in THAT appointment. That appointment is not interesting at all.

camillaandcarson · September 2015

Yes. He came with me to almost every single one last pregnancy too.

ejmo68 · September 2015

Nope, this is our second pregnancy so the initial appt would have been boring for him. He is coming to our next appt which is tomorrow because it is the first time we get to see and hopefully hear the heartbeat!

lest12 · September 2015

DH came with me to almost all of my appointments with DS. But DH works nights, so he was available during the day. If he had a day job, I am pretty sure he would have only come for select visits and ultrasounds.

This time around, it looks like both DH and DS will be joining me

livelaughlove1127 · September 2015

He went to all my appointments with my with DS. But he was our first and my dr has late hours so I would make the appts for after he would be home from work. Now he has to watch DS so won't be able to come to really any of them

elandric · September 2015

DH for sure wanted to be there at the first appt. He probably will stay home for a majority to watch my other two. He will come to the anatomy scan (team green though) but that probably it and I'm fine with that.

buffythevampireslayer · September 2015

My husband came for my first OB appointment. I honestly don't think it made a huge different having him there. We saw the heartbeat but didn't hear it, so it wasn't super exciting. I think it will be better at my next one which is on 11/2 and will include a sonogram and an NT test.

Zarathi · September 2015

I really don't know which ones my husband should come to and which he shouldn't.

He came to the first appointment with me today which was special. They did tell us they were doing an ultrasound and were going to listen for a heartbeat. We saw and heard it, so that was very special! I'm glad he was there with me!

I go back again in 3 weeks and, while there'll be another ultrasound, I don't want to ask him to take off more time from work for it. Today took several hours.

I think I might invite his mother if she wants. I'm still trying to decide if that's weird or not...

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