@virginiaunicorn11 and @Sammy K that aggravates the crap out of me. LO is not a big crier and I hate it when I can't easily soothe him. I really don't get why people think the only reason babies cry.
@virginiaunicorn11, @KarasTwin, and @Sammy K this annoys me too! LO pretty much only cries when he's tired. I want to tell people if they'd be quiet, he'd be able to fall asleep!
A colleague brought her mother over to see the baby the other day. The mother is visiting from India. First she acted scared of our cat, then said "oh, if the cat doesn't lick, it is fine." Our cat is afraid of strangers, and is definitely not going up to lick you! Then she asked, "Did you train the cat to keep away from the baby?" Uh, no. We actually wish our cat would interact a little more with the baby (gently, of course), but our cat still treats LO as a stranger who he distrusts, fears and avoids. It's not so easy to train cats, anyway...
The weirdest thing though was when she asked about the baby, "You let him put his hands in his mouth?" Wow, it never even occurred to me I had a choice about that! If LO wants his hands in his mouth, that's where they will be! This lady was puzzled by this behavior and was actually pulling his hands away from his mouth while she was playing with him. Huh! I guess she was concerned about germs, but I figure there must be an evolutionary advantage to this behavior in babies, and it must strengthen their immune system to put everything in their mouths, so unless it is poison, I don't have a problem with it! Maybe it is a cultural thing.
I was out shopping yesterday with my twins and 3 year old ds and ran into an ex-coworker. She walks past me, then walks backwards to me. This is our conversation. Woman: Oh my gosh. Are they twins? Me: (super annoyed by this question, insert eye roll) Yes they are twins. Woman: Are they yours? Me: Yes they are mine. Woman: Are they boys? Me: No, they're both girls. (They're both in dresses with pink on them.) Woman: So they're really your twins? Me: Yes, they are mine. Woman: Are you sure they're yours? Me: Yeah, I'm sure. They're really mine. I gave birth to them. Woman: You really had twins? Wow, you must have your hands full. Me: Yes, but my kids are such a blessing, it's worth it. The woman just kept on babbling something about me having twins and I finally started ignoring her. I could only take so much stupid.
Why do people say that crap about twins? It's not like we're that uncommon. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it keeps happening. My sister and I will be 31 in November and because we're fraternal nobody believes that we're twins. We also have been compared our whole lives. As children people would ask me why I was fatter/bigger than her and if I took all the food. I'm not skinny now, but I was then. Even if I wasn't, that's not ok. I also have twin cousins (boy and girl) and people ask if they're identical.
Why do people say that crap about twins? It's not like we're that uncommon. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it keeps happening. My sister and I will be 31 in November and because we're fraternal nobody believes that we're twins. We also have been compared our whole lives. As children people would ask me why I was fatter/bigger than her and if I took all the food. I'm not skinny now, but I was then. Even if I wasn't, that's not ok. I also have twin cousins (boy and girl) and people ask if they're identical.
That's not ok to say to any child! I don't get why people feel the need to say all this crap about twins. I literally cannot go out in public without at least 5 people saying stupid shit to me about them. I just wanna smack them upside the head and move on.
To switch gears away from the creepy strangers, I did receive pretty adorable advice from my almost 4 year old as I was trying to feed my hungry cranky baby "she's not hungry (he really want to interact with her)... She is only hungry when you give her the pacifier and she still cries"....oh boy it was so funny! And kind of true...haha
I have too many to say! I'm a twin mama. 1. Are they twins? 2. Are they identical? (They look so different! ) 3. You're seriously breastfeeding twins? How do you do it? 4. You must have your hands full. How do you handle it? (We have a 3 year old ds.) 5. Are they both girls? (Every time I've been asked this, they're both in dresses.) 6. I cannot stand people who think it's ok to touch my children. While shopping at Walmart one of the girls got fussy, so my dh took her out and held her. We were at the checkouts and this lady behind us came up and started prodding at her. She said it was ok because she had twin girls of her own. Then another time we were at this truck show for kids. They had different fire trucks and army vehicles and such there for kids to come sit in. One of the girls was fussy so I was rubbing her head and trying to give her a paci. This lady came up, pushed me out if the way and started touching her. I freaked out on her and walked away. 7. A total stranger came up to me as I was checking out at a store one day and told me I had beautiful girls and she wanted to hold them while I checked out. I told her no and she sat there the entire time I was checking out arguing with me.
Sometimes when DH and I are out with the girls and people ask if they're twins I want to say, "Nope, one is mine and the other is from his other baby's mama!" Still need to get up the courage though!
I have too many to say! I'm a twin mama. 1. Are they twins? 2. Are they identical? (They look so different! ) 3. You're seriously breastfeeding twins? How do you do it? 4. You must have your hands full. How do you handle it? (We have a 3 year old ds.) 5. Are they both girls? (Every time I've been asked this, they're both in dresses.) 6. I cannot stand people who think it's ok to touch my children. While shopping at Walmart one of the girls got fussy, so my dh took her out and held her. We were at the checkouts and this lady behind us came up and started prodding at her. She said it was ok because she had twin girls of her own. Then another time we were at this truck show for kids. They had different fire trucks and army vehicles and such there for kids to come sit in. One of the girls was fussy so I was rubbing her head and trying to give her a paci. This lady came up, pushed me out if the way and started touching her. I freaked out on her and walked away. 7. A total stranger came up to me as I was checking out at a store one day and told me I had beautiful girls and she wanted to hold them while I checked out. I told her no and she sat there the entire time I was checking out arguing with me.
Sometimes when DH and I are out with the girls and people ask if they're twins I want to say, "Nope, one is mine and the other is from his other baby's mama!" Still need to get up the courage though!
I actually know a girl who's "baby daddy" had babys with two girls at the same time and they seriously look like twins! I think they're only a month apart. I bet she gets asked if they are twins all the time! Awkward
I have too many to say! I'm a twin mama. 1. Are they twins? 2. Are they identical? (They look so different! ) 3. You're seriously breastfeeding twins? How do you do it? 4. You must have your hands full. How do you handle it? (We have a 3 year old ds.) 5. Are they both girls? (Every time I've been asked this, they're both in dresses.) 6. I cannot stand people who think it's ok to touch my children. While shopping at Walmart one of the girls got fussy, so my dh took her out and held her. We were at the checkouts and this lady behind us came up and started prodding at her. She said it was ok because she had twin girls of her own. Then another time we were at this truck show for kids. They had different fire trucks and army vehicles and such there for kids to come sit in. One of the girls was fussy so I was rubbing her head and trying to give her a paci. This lady came up, pushed me out if the way and started touching her. I freaked out on her and walked away. 7. A total stranger came up to me as I was checking out at a store one day and told me I had beautiful girls and she wanted to hold them while I checked out. I told her no and she sat there the entire time I was checking out arguing with me.
Sometimes when DH and I are out with the girls and people ask if they're twins I want to say, "Nope, one is mine and the other is from his other baby's mama!" Still need to get up the courage though!
One lady was super rude to me. Then she saw my girls and asked if they were twins. I told her no, I gave birth to one and adopted the other. She looked at me so puzzled, and walked away. That's the only time I've ever gotten the nerve to say it though.
I have too many to say! I'm a twin mama. 1. Are they twins? 2. Are they identical? (They look so different! ) 3. You're seriously breastfeeding twins? How do you do it? 4. You must have your hands full. How do you handle it? (We have a 3 year old ds.) 5. Are they both girls? (Every time I've been asked this, they're both in dresses.) 6. I cannot stand people who think it's ok to touch my children. While shopping at Walmart one of the girls got fussy, so my dh took her out and held her. We were at the checkouts and this lady behind us came up and started prodding at her. She said it was ok because she had twin girls of her own. Then another time we were at this truck show for kids. They had different fire trucks and army vehicles and such there for kids to come sit in. One of the girls was fussy so I was rubbing her head and trying to give her a paci. This lady came up, pushed me out if the way and started touching her. I freaked out on her and walked away. 7. A total stranger came up to me as I was checking out at a store one day and told me I had beautiful girls and she wanted to hold them while I checked out. I told her no and she sat there the entire time I was checking out arguing with me.
Sometimes when DH and I are out with the girls and people ask if they're twins I want to say, "Nope, one is mine and the other is from his other baby's mama!" Still need to get up the courage though!
One lady was super rude to me. Then she saw my girls and asked if they were twins. I told her no, I gave birth to one and adopted the other. She looked at me so puzzled, and walked away. That's the only time I've ever gotten the nerve to say it though.
I have too many to say! I'm a twin mama. 1. Are they twins? 2. Are they identical? (They look so different! ) 3. You're seriously breastfeeding twins? How do you do it? 4. You must have your hands full. How do you handle it? (We have a 3 year old ds.) 5. Are they both girls? (Every time I've been asked this, they're both in dresses.) 6. I cannot stand people who think it's ok to touch my children. While shopping at Walmart one of the girls got fussy, so my dh took her out and held her. We were at the checkouts and this lady behind us came up and started prodding at her. She said it was ok because she had twin girls of her own. Then another time we were at this truck show for kids. They had different fire trucks and army vehicles and such there for kids to come sit in. One of the girls was fussy so I was rubbing her head and trying to give her a paci. This lady came up, pushed me out if the way and started touching her. I freaked out on her and walked away. 7. A total stranger came up to me as I was checking out at a store one day and told me I had beautiful girls and she wanted to hold them while I checked out. I told her no and she sat there the entire time I was checking out arguing with me.
Sometimes when DH and I are out with the girls and people ask if they're twins I want to say, "Nope, one is mine and the other is from his other baby's mama!" Still need to get up the courage though!
One lady was super rude to me. Then she saw my girls and asked if they were twins. I told her no, I gave birth to one and adopted the other. She looked at me so puzzled, and walked away. That's the only time I've ever gotten the nerve to say it though.
I like this one too )
When people ask if our girls are twins, we've simply responded with "no, this one is 2 minutes older" and walked away. Worked like a charm to end conversation!!
Ugh this fits in so many threads but I will just put it here... My MIL called my sweet baby girl "a little priss" because she liked looking at the flowers on her shirt. WTF?! She actually was like "oh you're a little priss already looking at those flowers" uhhhh no she is a sweet baby who saw an interesting pattern.... Ugh when is it acceptable to backhand your MIL?!
"Now that you're back at work your supply probably isn't going to keep up with him growing." "You should probably think about switching to formula so he sleeps through the night."
"Now that you're back at work your supply probably isn't going to keep up with him growing."
"You should probably think about switching to formula so he sleeps through the night."
If your response to this is anything other than "F- off," then you are a better person than I am.
I think I have resting bitch face... No one has said much to me. One thing I've learned is that people want an excuse to talk to you and the baby, but are often very awkward or inappropriate in doing so. I've also gotten a lot of the "you look great for having her ___ weeks ago" and I think this is (a) filler for conversation, and (b) an attempt at a genuine compliment toward you, whether genuine or not. Try to look at it from someone else's point of view...the conversation is basically: "Aww, he/she is adorable. How old?" "2 months" "Oh wow. You look great. What's his/her name?" "Oh, thanks! _____ [name]." ...at this point there's nothing else to say unless they ask you about feeding, which is extra inappropriate...
Good luck dealing with people ladies... So far we haven't had it too bad, but my husband would probably disagree.
During the first week we made a run to Babies R Us and a lady who worked there said she couldn't BELIEVE I didn't have a hat on the baby because if the wind blows and a baby is outside they will "catch the colic." )
Every time there has been a breeze this summer someone says it now. LOL
Well shit, if I had known that's where colic comes from, LO would have worn a hat every damn day!
When LO was 2 weeks old we had a heat wave and my MIL kept telling my hubby to give the baby a bottle of water. even after I informed her that a. Extra Water can actually harm a baby and b. I'm breastfeeding so he's not taking bottles just yet she just keeps saying "well that's what I used to do" ahh so frustrating
Gosh, my mom says this alll the tiiime! My 3 month old is 17lbs and eats 6oz every 3 hours, so everybody assumes I overfeed her but that's the bare minimum amount she will take without screaming til I give her more. But my mom keeps saying "When can you give her water? Because that way you can just give her water to fill up her belly without all those extra calories.." Why would I feed my HUNGRY baby empty calories and starve her even more?? Sheesh...
The other thing I hear from her a lot is about my baby's pacifier.. My dad was holding her the other day and she started eating her hands (she has reflux as well that the pacifier helps her deal with--and yes I do try to give her the pacifier before more milk which keeps her from overeating)..and I told my dad to replace her hands with her pacifier. And later on she did it again when my mom was holding her and my dad told my mom to give her her pacifier and my moms response was "No, that's just for keeping her quiet." And she has told me that several times, I guess she thinks I taught my baby to suck on her thumb to keep her quiet in the womb too?
She has good advice too, but some of the things my mom did when I was a baby makes me wonder how my sister and I survived haha Oh and don't get me started on the safe sleeping debate..my mom put all kinds of blankets, stuffed animals, and toys in the crib while I slept on my stomach, so she thinks I'm over the top for following recommended sleep habits..
During the first week we made a run to Babies R Us and a lady who worked there said she couldn't BELIEVE I didn't have a hat on the baby because if the wind blows and a baby is outside they will "catch the colic." )
Every time there has been a breeze this summer someone says it now. LOL
Well shit, if I had known that's where colic comes from, LO would have worn a hat every damn day!
{slow clap}
My FIL would freak out if had LO outside without a blanket covering his car seat, the windows down in the car or the shades up over her stroller because 'she will eat the wind catch colic'
@ashleymc09 I love my MIL. Like I willingly go on vacations with her or spend time at their house. She's been a big help with LO. However, there's been some frustration over LO's pacifier. When I'm at home with LO, I give her pacifier to her when she's ready to take naps or fall asleep at night. That's it.
When I'm with my MIL, she takes LO's hands out of her mouth and puts her pacifier in instead. I've explained to her that I'm fine with her hands in her mouth, that she's figuring out how her hands work, she doesn't gob on them all day, and DH has said the same thing to her after I talked to him about it. She said she doesn't want LO to get used to sucking her thumb and that you can take away a pacifier but you can't take away her thumb. First, LO doesn't suck her thumb. She usually goes for the whole fist. Second, I don't want my baby to have a pacifier in her mouth all day. That's not a habit I'd like to start. Third, it's my baby. You did a fine job raising your babies and that may have been how you did it, but it's my turn now.
I love and appreciate all my mom and MIL have done, advice they've given and times they've helped out. But between my mom thinking my baby wants to eat every time she fusses and the "Great Pacifier Debate of 2015", I'm ready snap. I'll probably be the same when LO has some of her own. Lord save us all.
When I'm with my MIL, she takes LO's hands out of her mouth and puts her pacifier in instead. I've explained to her that I'm fine with her hands in her mouth, that she's figuring out how her hands work, she doesn't gob on them all day, and DH has said the same thing to her after I talked to him about it. She said she doesn't want LO to get used to sucking her thumb and that you can take away a pacifier but you can't take away her thumb. First, LO doesn't suck her thumb. She usually goes for the whole fist. Second, I don't want my baby to have a pacifier in her mouth all day. That's not a habit I'd like to start. Third, it's my baby. You did a fine job raising your babies and that may have been how you did it, but it's my turn now.
What kills me is that this is the only part that should matter. If you aren't doing something that could harm your child than the only person who deserves justification of your parenting decisions is the other parent. I have no idea why so many people feel entitled to be co-decision makers with parents.
Re: The things people say when you have a baby...
The weirdest thing though was when she asked about the baby, "You let him put his hands in his mouth?" Wow, it never even occurred to me I had a choice about that! If LO wants his hands in his mouth, that's where they will be! This lady was puzzled by this behavior and was actually pulling his hands away from his mouth while she was playing with him. Huh! I guess she was concerned about germs, but I figure there must be an evolutionary advantage to this behavior in babies, and it must strengthen their immune system to put everything in their mouths, so unless it is poison, I don't have a problem with it! Maybe it is a cultural thing.
Woman: Oh my gosh. Are they twins?
Me: (super annoyed by this question, insert eye roll) Yes they are twins.
Woman: Are they yours?
Me: Yes they are mine.
Woman: Are they boys?
Me: No, they're both girls. (They're both in dresses with pink on them.)
Woman: So they're really your twins?
Me: Yes, they are mine.
Woman: Are you sure they're yours?
Me: Yeah, I'm sure. They're really mine. I gave birth to them.
Woman: You really had twins? Wow, you must have your hands full.
Me: Yes, but my kids are such a blessing, it's worth it.
The woman just kept on babbling something about me having twins and I finally started ignoring her. I could only take so much stupid.
Listen lady, are you sure thats your nose? Cause I'm about to put my fist into it. I'd like to make sure I hit the right persons nose...
(I'm really cranky this morning. Sorry for the violence)
Pretty sure that's an insult on many levels.
Sometimes when DH and I are out with the girls and people ask if they're twins I want to say, "Nope, one is mine and the other is from his other baby's mama!" Still need to get up the courage though!
When people ask if our girls are twins, we've simply responded with "no, this one is 2 minutes older" and walked away. Worked like a charm to end conversation!!
"You should probably think about switching to formula so he sleeps through the night."
If your response to this is anything other than "F- off," then you are a better person than I am.
2nd round exp 8/20/18.
Awesome guys........ Nope I'll be pumping and still feeding. Get a life.
"Aww, he/she is adorable. How old?"
"2 months"
"Oh wow. You look great. What's his/her name?"
"Oh, thanks! _____ [name]."
...at this point there's nothing else to say unless they ask you about feeding, which is extra inappropriate...
Good luck dealing with people ladies... So far we haven't had it too bad, but my husband would probably disagree.
The other thing I hear from her a lot is about my baby's pacifier.. My dad was holding her the other day and she started eating her hands (she has reflux as well that the pacifier helps her deal with--and yes I do try to give her the pacifier before more milk which keeps her from overeating)..and I told my dad to replace her hands with her pacifier. And later on she did it again when my mom was holding her and my dad told my mom to give her her pacifier and my moms response was "No, that's just for keeping her quiet." And she has told me that several times, I guess she thinks I taught my baby to suck on her thumb to keep her quiet in the womb too?
She has good advice too, but some of the things my mom did when I was a baby makes me wonder how my sister and I survived haha
I love my MIL. Like I willingly go on vacations with her or spend time at their house. She's been a big help with LO. However, there's been some frustration over LO's pacifier. When I'm at home with LO, I give her pacifier to her when she's ready to take naps or fall asleep at night. That's it.
When I'm with my MIL, she takes LO's hands out of her mouth and puts her pacifier in instead. I've explained to her that I'm fine with her hands in her mouth, that she's figuring out how her hands work, she doesn't gob on them all day, and DH has said the same thing to her after I talked to him about it. She said she doesn't want LO to get used to sucking her thumb and that you can take away a pacifier but you can't take away her thumb. First, LO doesn't suck her thumb. She usually goes for the whole fist. Second, I don't want my baby to have a pacifier in her mouth all day. That's not a habit I'd like to start. Third, it's my baby. You did a fine job raising your babies and that may have been how you did it, but it's my turn now.
I love and appreciate all my mom and MIL have done, advice they've given and times they've helped out. But between my mom thinking my baby wants to eat every time she fusses and the "Great Pacifier Debate of 2015", I'm ready snap. I'll probably be the same when LO has some of her own. Lord save us all.
2nd round exp 8/20/18.