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September 2015 Moms
DottieEmbers
member
Becoming fearful of hospital birth
DottieEmbers
member
This is going to sound terrible, and I really don't mean to make anyone feel bad for the type of birth experience they have, but am I just screwed for trying to have a natural birth at a hospital? It seems like almost everyone gets pitocin (like it is forced on you at the hospital) which ultimately leads to more painful contractions, which in turn makes things unbearable so you then need an epidural. The epidural/pitocin combo often causes fetal distress, and then mom is rushed off to c-section after which everyone praises the doctor for "saving" the baby who wouldn't have been in distress if none of the intervention would have been started in the first place. And/or they tell you after the fact that it was a good thing they delivered via c-section because the cord was around the neck. Cord around the neck is usually not dangerous and occurs in one third of all births, so they just tell you about the cord around the neck to make you feel better about getting the c-section....as if baby would not have survived otherwise. I don't know. This sucks because I am starting to feel like it is safer to have my baby on the bathroom floor than go to the hospital. Can anyone ease my fears, or am I just destined to be pushed through the hospital system without any say?
Re: Becoming fearful of hospital birth
Have you done a hospital tour? Are you familiar with the attitude of your medical provider and hospital regarding natural birth?
1. Try to go into it confident and empowered rather than scared. So much of it is mental.
2. Your partner needs to be prepared to advocate for you. You can't keep track of everything while you're laboring. He needs to speak up if they're clamping the cord too soon or whatever.
3. Labor at home as long as you can. I went in at 7cm and pushed DD out three hours later. It really helps to be close to transition when you get there, there's no time or reason for them to do or suggest much at that point.
4. You may not get as lucky as I did with your OB, but if you have a pushy or uncooperative nurse, request a new one. You absolutely have that right and your delivery nurse is a huge part of your birth.
You can totally do this, and you'll be so glad you did. My two natural births are my biggest and best accomplishments. I had two very different experiences but wouldn't change either of them. Good luck, mama!!!
I feel like it might not have been a mistake for you not to discuss your idea of natural birth. They might be fully supportive, and if not, you avoided months of stressing out about your doctor being on the opposite page. Either way you are in charge of your decisions and you can tell your dr no. You don't need pitocin just because your labor stalled. If it stops completely no big deal, go home and it will start again when it's ready. If your water is broken deny cervical checks, THAT'S how you get an infection. You have 48 hours and they can monitor your temperature and baby noninvasively. Just remember what you want and take 15 minutes or so to think about your decisions. There's no rush if it's not an emergency. You can make it through the hospital system without giving in to their fear tactics and modern medicine lifestyle!
I will say after reading a lot of the birth stories on here similar to mine (water breaking, admitted to hospital at 3 cm), I was surprised how many ladies were given pitocin super early on before they were even given a chance to progress on their own.
The best advice is to labor at home as long as you feel comfortable. With my first, I jumped out the door the minute I thought I was in labor. I really don't know why they even let me stay at the hospital, but they did. Unfortunately, I was then on their clock, and as a first time mom, I did not advocate for myself so when labor wasn't progressing quickly I was given pitocin. Shortly after I opted for an epidural.
Fast forward to #3 and I was in control. I labored at home for as long as I was comfortable and went in at 4cm. Walked and bounced around L and D until 8 cm at which point I decided I wanted an epidural (I delivered #2 without and it is something I preferred in the end). These were my decisions and I felt completely supported by my nurse in whatever direction I chose.
I will say that once they got over their surprise at my refusing the IV (which they didn't ask me about, they just brought it in and said "ok here's your IV!" and I said uh no!), the nurses were pretty supportive. I hope yours will be too. I would go in expecting people to be helpful and hopefully a positive attitude will win the day
I fully agree with the people who said labor at home as long as you can. Also, make a list of your top priorities. If it's avoiding pitocin or being free to move in labor or delayed cord clamping etc. Keep it brief and clear.
I'm praying for you.
Let love be your standard for all your decisions. Fear can't be a factor. We women are incredibly tough, and we can move mountains for our children. No one is going to force an intervention on a mother who is laboring well.
Best wishes from all of us!
I'm due (tomorrow) with my third and am expecting the same this time experience.
My doctor also wanted to put me on pitocin because I wasn't dilated when I got there, but the nurse decided to hold off on that...glad she made that call because my body got into gear on its own.
I would put into writing what you want, and take it with you so there is less room for confusion. Best of luck!
Having a doula can help you with advocating your birth plan to your doctor! Also be very clear with your doctor's that you on no circumstances want to be administered any interventions. I'm sending you positive vibes and all of the luck!
It is too late to change hospital or Dr, but you can still do little things to prevent interventions. Labour at home as long as possible, decline cervical checks after the first until you either hit a wall or feel ready to push (so that no one knows how much you progressed in x hours), and have a written birth plan (even just a couple items point form, like "don't want meds offered, augmentation for fetal distress only").
This thread has been wonderful! Thank you to all the mommas who shared their natural positive hospital birth stories. It's been a great read and boost of encouragement!
XO