I think for me it's the underlying attitude that somehow gifts are a requirement. The norm? Sure. But the expectation that the "wrong" gift is somehow an affront? Starts to sound a little ungrateful.
It would be nice if everyone was just thankful to have received anything at all.
My mom crochets and I fully expect her to load me up with stuff she's made for me and probably nothing from my registry. I'm cool with that.
I would LOVE homemade gifts instead of registry gifts. I don't understand some peoples greed, how wonderful your baby can have things from your mom I made our baby's first blanket, I'm hoping my mom starts knitting again so she can make something too. It's just so much more meaningful. I have a baby blanket from my great grandma who I never got to meet that she made me, it is loaded with holes and I don't care!:)
@cantobean The words "rude" and "annoyed/annoying" come up several times above in reference to people not buying from the registry.
Apparently my UO is that I don't think ANY gift (homemade, store bought, re-gifted, thrift shopped) given with good intentions should ever be referred to as rude, even in private.
I agree. No one says you have to like every gift that's ever been given but at least try to appreciate the sentiment behind it. Focusing solely on the gift is materialistic IMO. BTW this is just a general statement not aimed at anyone, I just skimmed all the comments since I was late to the game.
I personally think bridal showers if you've been living together are pretty tacky since the purpose is mainly to set up your house for your marriage, and you've essentially already done that. With that being said, perhaps if you were living together while still in school/struggling, I can see it being okay. There's always circumstances in which there are shades of gray. If you've been living together for years or merged 2 houses into one, and STILL expect gifts at a shower to replace your perfectly fine and functional things, that's ridiculous IMO.
I make home made quilts and throw up rags for all my friends baby gifts but I do always ask what colours they want/ prefer for family they also get a home made christening gown of their choice if they choose to go down that route
Oh and I was a single teenage mother I was 17 when I fell pregnant with my son and I still went to university I have a full time job and most of all I have a happy healthy well adjusted son I know a lot of you frown upon it but I'm a strict mother of a non spoilt child please don't judge these mothers by their age because not all older mothers cope with motherhood
It took me a lot of years to get it through my head that I was worth more than someone else's opinion of me being a teenage mother
My UO we are all doing the best we can with what we have
Regarding shower gifts for couples who have already been living together: My husband and I lived together for several years prior to getting married, and i didn't have a shower (I don't like them so I opted out), but we did register for some new things for the house for the wedding itself. Yes, we did already have most all the things we needed, but a lot of our items were cheap or in poor condition, and it was nice to have some new kitchen and household items to kind of usher in our marriage.
Regarding off the registry gifts: I'm not a fan. I know some people really want to gift you with something personalized, and part of me does appreciate that sentiment, but on the whole, it's not helpful. I received many things for my wedding that we could not use and were not on our registry, and not a one came with a gift receipt (and I suspect at least a few of them were re-gifts). If you do go off registry, at least include a gift receipt, and expect the mom-to-be may exchange or return the item.
Regarding Teen Moms: Such is life, man. There always have been and always will be teen moms! I believe Mary, mother of Jesus, was in actuality something like 14 when she gave birth to him. I think rather than pass judgment, as a society we should strive to provide teen parents with better resources, and our children with better sex education so there are less instances of teen pregnancy.
So perhaps having more forthright and thorough sex education in our public school systems is my unpopular opinion!
Yea I don't understand why someone shouldn't get a shower if they've been living with their partner. Most of the stuff I had back in the day was cheap stuff that I knew was temporary. The shower provided us with stuff we'll keep for many many years - quality pots and pans, silverware, China etc. The stuff I had before was basic stuff from Target that wasn't built to last- not like our marriage, ha!!
I agree with you and a few other than if you've lived together you can still have a shower. We had a shower after living together, got some things that replaced other and mostly stuff we didn't have! My favorite thing is still my ninja! We actually didn't replace some stuff that we got as "hand me downs" etc like our pan. Some of those pans are my favorite and they work perfectly well.
But, I love target, not everyone gets custom China. I think most people would rather use target plates than an over the top $50 one. They have really nice products and many of them are a perfectly fine quAlity.
Speaking of china, I don't get the appeal of having fancy china. I know many have their regular plates and then have fancy plates ( usually not dishwashable) for special gatherings. What's the point? I just use plain white china for all.
Speaking of china, I don't get the appeal of having fancy china. I know many have their regular plates and then have fancy plates ( usually not dishwashable) for special gatherings. What's the point? I just use plain white china for all.
I would never go out and buy fancy China and we didn't even register for any but my Great Grandma and my Grandma were big on fancy China and the dishes have been passed down for generations and we do use those for holidays. Which kind of drives me crazy because even though it's really neat to use something that was passed down they can't go in the dishwasher LOL
Speaking of china, I don't get the appeal of having fancy china. I know many have their regular plates and then have fancy plates ( usually not dishwashable) for special gatherings. What's the point? I just use plain white china for all.
We don't even have "real" plates. We sold them when we moved because 1. We never used them and 2. Our apartment is too small. We use those cute plastic plates that target always has for diff seasons. They all don't even match *gasp* I also buy them when they are on clearance for $1.
We discussed when we buy a house or for Xmas asking for a nice set of Corelle because we have a growing family who needs fancy plates right now? (Oh and we use paper plates for some stuff too *gasp*)
China gets handed down in my family, and my mom has maybe 4 or 5 sets? I love good family history and all, but I have no idea what I'm going to do with them when they get passed down to me. My mother has already said she'd come from her grave and haunt me if I dared get rid of anything like that.
China gets handed down in my family, and my mom has maybe 4 or 5 sets? I love good family history and all, but I have no idea what I'm going to do with them when they get passed down to me. My mother has already said she'd come from her grave and haunt me if I dared get rid of anything like that.
Wrap them super nice and put them in a storage tote in the attic/basement
Speaking of china, I don't get the appeal of having fancy china. I know many have their regular plates and then have fancy plates ( usually not dishwashable) for special gatherings. What's the point? I just use plain white china for all.
I was talked into registering for fancy China and I received all of it. I've never opened any of the boxes. It was a waste.
MMC Aug 2010 DS1 Jan 2012 DS2 July 2013 DS3 February 2016
I don't think it's tacky/problematic to have a bridal shower despite living together before getting married. Having said that, if I get married, I definitely won't be having one because we have so much crap! Before moving in together, we both already had everything, then had to consolidate, got rid of a TON of stuff, and actually still have more stuff we need to donate. I just wouldn't be able to justify getting rid of everything of both of ours to get "new" just because we got married. Of course we could always have "nicer" or newer stuff, but what we have works and we will just replace it as needed over the years. I do fully respect that other people have different situations and may be in a situation where they do need new stuff despite living together before being married, though, so I think it's pretty individualized. I think we may have been in a different situation because my SO is older and we both owned our own houses and had ourselves established, so we bought what we both wanted/liked over the years, and still mostly like what we have.
I will say that the one thing that I kind of take issue with in regards to both baby and bridal showers is the expectation that others will fulfill all of your needs/wants for stuff for your house and/or child. I don't think there's anything wrong with making a registry to let people know what you're thinking of getting so that they can choose a gift off there if they want to. I guess I just take more of an approach of expecting to buy what you need, want, and can afford for yourselves, and if others want to gift you with something on or off of your registry, that's just a bonus. We have two registries- one private one that is just a list of stuff that we want to buy (stroller, high chair, nursery furniture, etc., that I wouldn't even want to imply that we want others to buy for us) then one that we will actually share with people for my shower that has smaller things just to give suggestions of things we are interested in. I'm fully prepared to have to buy the majority of it ourselves and we'll just be pleasantly surprised if we get a chunk of what's on our registry. I'm more than happy with homemade gifts or gifts not on the registry (though I do definitely understand the predicament of getting something that's totally not your style)- just the fact that someone wanted to buy something to celebrate us and our LO will be really touching for us. Having said THAT, when the roles are reversed, I do almost always buy things from the registry because I want to make sure I'm getting something that will really be utilized.
It's clear we all feel pretty differently on this one and I can definitely see everyone's point of view. Just thought I'd chime in.
@wisco29 maybe this belongs in FFFC, but at our house, we use paper plates and plastic cups A LOT. we have paper plates on subscribe and save. It's really sad, but we try to eat at home a lot to save money and eat healthier, and we just cannot keep up with all the dishes. So whenever we can, we use paper plates and plastic cups. My husband and I have lived like that for years without even thinking twice about it. Until we had our child. and it dawned on me that I probably shouldn't be teaching him to be so wasteful or environmentally unfriendly. We are trying to cut down, but it's just so much easier to use paper plates....
@Monkeybutt80 my husband has been gone for a week and a half now and while he has been gone I've used nothing but paper plates lol! He always gets on my about using them when we have plates in the cupboard. But until he starts doing dishes, paper plates it is!!
Can't you recycle paper plates?
I recycle my paper towels.
ok, my 2nd FFFC in the UO thread.... I don't recycle at home I know, I should be stonned and publicly humiliated in the town square or something. I am super embarrassed by this. The only recycling we do are cardboard boxes (because we get amazon delivery like once a week). When we get a ton of boxes, we break them down and take them to our local dump and take them over to the recycling section....
My husband and I have been recently talking about getting recycling box from the county to start recycling... We really should.
I wish we had somewhere nearby that did recycle paper but we live in such a small town that the only things they recycle are aluminum cans, tin cans and glass. No plastic or paper. I think they are trying to enforce something that they local dump has to recycle paper and plastic. We would have to drive over an hour to take it somewhere that recycles it. Kind of a bummer but it is what it is.
Recycling would be a lot more complicating if your town doesn't help.
Every house in our city gets a recycle bin and you can put any recyclable items in it and put it out on the curb on garbage day...then a truck comes and picks it up. There's a small fee for it but it's included in your water bill so you get charged regardless if you recycle or not.
@wisco29 maybe this belongs in FFFC, but at our house, we use paper plates and plastic cups A LOT. we have paper plates on subscribe and save. It's really sad, but we try to eat at home a lot to save money and eat healthier, and we just cannot keep up with all the dishes. So whenever we can, we use paper plates and plastic cups. My husband and I have lived like that for years without even thinking twice about it. Until we had our child. and it dawned on me that I probably shouldn't be teaching him to be so wasteful or environmentally unfriendly. We are trying to cut down, but it's just so much easier to use paper plates....
We use the paper plates way more than we use the plastic plates now. When we move somewhere bigger or maybe with a dish washer we won't but our kitchen is miniature there is NO space for dirty dishes! Plus if there is even one stack plate size there is no space for prep work for making any sort of meal. I hate it so much!
Also I don't believe you can recycle certain paper products that are dirty. When I was in college if someone put a pizza box in the recycle dumpster they would bring it back up to your dorm room and yell at you.
Regarding shower gifts for couples who have already been living together: My husband and I lived together for several years prior to getting married, and i didn't have a shower (I don't like them so I opted out), but we did register for some new things for the house for the wedding itself. Yes, we did already have most all the things we needed, but a lot of our items were cheap or in poor condition, and it was nice to have some new kitchen and household items to kind of usher in our marriage.
Regarding off the registry gifts: I'm not a fan. I know some people really want to gift you with something personalized, and part of me does appreciate that sentiment, but on the whole, it's not helpful. I received many things for my wedding that we could not use and were not on our registry, and not a one came with a gift receipt (and I suspect at least a few of them were re-gifts). If you do go off registry, at least include a gift receipt, and expect the mom-to-be may exchange or return the item.
Regarding Teen Moms: Such is life, man. There always have been and always will be teen moms! I believe Mary, mother of Jesus, was in actuality something like 14 when she gave birth to him. I think rather than pass judgment, as a society we should strive to provide teen parents with better resources, and our children with better sex education so there are less instances of teen pregnancy.
So perhaps having more forthright and thorough sex education in our public school systems is my unpopular opinion!
Yea I don't understand why someone shouldn't get a shower if they've been living with their partner. Most of the stuff I had back in the day was cheap stuff that I knew was temporary. The shower provided us with stuff we'll keep for many many years - quality pots and pans, silverware, China etc. The stuff I had before was basic stuff from Target that wasn't built to last- not like our marriage, ha!!
I agree with you and a few other than if you've lived together you can still have a shower. We had a shower after living together, got some things that replaced other and mostly stuff we didn't have! My favorite thing is still my ninja! We actually didn't replace some stuff that we got as "hand me downs" etc like our pan. Some of those pans are my favorite and they work perfectly well.
But, I love target, not everyone gets custom China. I think most people would rather use target plates than an over the top $50 one. They have really nice products and many of them are a perfectly fine quAlity.
I love Target too and they carry a lot of the same brands as dept. stores but the stuff I had was super cheap from there back in college circa 2004. That's all I meant. Target is my jam - Id never diss it. I was saying I had cheap stuff from there - not their good stuff.
Feb '16 Siggy Challenge: Favorite Thing About Fall: Haunted Houses and Scary Movies!
Speaking of china, I don't get the appeal of having fancy china. I know many have their regular plates and then have fancy plates ( usually not dishwashable) for special gatherings. What's the point? I just use plain white china for all.
I would never go out and buy fancy China and we didn't even register for any but my Great Grandma and my Grandma were big on fancy China and the dishes have been passed down for generations and we do use those for holidays. Which kind of drives me crazy because even though it's really neat to use something that was passed down they can't go in the dishwasher LOL
I agree. I have a set of nice plates that I use for more formal dinners but they aren't stuffy like fancy China. It's cool and modern but not practical unless you're seated at a table - I eat dinner most nights at the couch so I use a different set every day. But I'm not into stuffy China. I just used the word as a shortcut to describe "nice dishes"
Feb '16 Siggy Challenge: Favorite Thing About Fall: Haunted Houses and Scary Movies!
MY UO: snail mail is a dying art. With technology advancing so much so quick, it makes me sad no one sends anyone real mail anymore. I send thank you cards, invitations, Christmas cards, etc through the mail and refuse to email and shudder at the thought of facebook invites.
I completely agree. I always send cards but it's so rare to receive them nowadays. I love making cards, too. My cousin even makes fun of me for sending cards. She's the type to send Facebook invites and no thank you cards. It's always so fun to receive something in the mail besides bills so it's sad it's a dying art.
Speaking of china, I don't get the appeal of having fancy china. I know many have their regular plates and then have fancy plates ( usually not dishwashable) for special gatherings. What's the point? I just use plain white china for all.
I don't understand the china thing either. Fancy plates that get used maybe twice a year, have to be hand washed and then stored? Possibly in a china cabinet, a huge piece of furniture taking up space to store the dishes you hardly ever use... No thank you. Even worse is the Christmas china. It can really only be used once a year! It seems so pointless. I love our plain white ikea dishes that go with everything and are inexpensive to replace.
Speaking of china, I don't get the appeal of having fancy china. I know many have their regular plates and then have fancy plates ( usually not dishwashable) for special gatherings. What's the point? I just use plain white china for all.
I don't understand the china thing either. Fancy plates that get used maybe twice a year, have to be hand washed and then stored? Possibly in a china cabinet, a huge piece of furniture taking up space to store the dishes you hardly ever use... No thank you. Even worse is the Christmas china. It can really only be used once a year! It seems so pointless. I love our plain white ikea dishes that go with everything and are inexpensive to replace.
I love my Christmas China! I won it at a white elephant party and it looks like it's from the 80's lol but it's fun to pull it out once a year to use for a very special meal. It is annoying packing it back up and putting it away for storage, though. It's a small set do it doesn't take up much room.
Speaking of china, I don't get the appeal of having fancy china. I know many have their regular plates and then have fancy plates ( usually not dishwashable) for special gatherings. What's the point? I just use plain white china for all.
Totally agree! We don't have china. We just registered for everyday dishes. We lived together before getting married and I had a shower. All the things we had before were either hand me downs or cheap things we bought in college.
I registered for dishes that could be used for everyday, but still looked nice enough for special meals. I was so excited when we got them, I think they were the only thing I truly truly wanted off the registry and knew that one way or another, I would have them even if I had to buy them myself.
Speaking of china, I don't get the appeal of having fancy china. I know many have their regular plates and then have fancy plates ( usually not dishwashable) for special gatherings. What's the point? I just use plain white china for all.
I don't understand the china thing either. Fancy plates that get used maybe twice a year, have to be hand washed and then stored? Possibly in a china cabinet, a huge piece of furniture taking up space to store the dishes you hardly ever use... No thank you. Even worse is the Christmas china. It can really only be used once a year! It seems so pointless. I love our plain white ikea dishes that go with everything and are inexpensive to replace.
I love my Christmas China! I won it at a white elephant party and it looks like it's from the 80's lol but it's fun to pull it out once a year to use for a very special meal. It is annoying packing it back up and putting it away for storage, though. It's a small set do it doesn't take up much room.
Ok, that sounds like it would fun. :-) I'm specifically thinking of a collection that includes serving platters, salt & pepper shakers, gravy bowls and all that.
@wisco29 maybe this belongs in FFFC, but at our house, we use paper plates and plastic cups A LOT. we have paper plates on subscribe and save. It's really sad, but we try to eat at home a lot to save money and eat healthier, and we just cannot keep up with all the dishes. So whenever we can, we use paper plates and plastic cups. My husband and I have lived like that for years without even thinking twice about it. Until we had our child. and it dawned on me that I probably shouldn't be teaching him to be so wasteful or environmentally unfriendly. We are trying to cut down, but it's just so much easier to use paper plates....
Amen! Being that i'm the only one doing the housework around here and since we do not have the luxury of having a dishwasher I get tired of standing at the sink for a long time washing all those dishes. Call me lazy or cheap or whatever but paper plates and cups are a lifesaver especially when you're pregnant and tired
MY UO: snail mail is a dying art. With technology advancing so much so quick, it makes me sad no one sends anyone real mail anymore. I send thank you cards, invitations, Christmas cards, etc through the mail and refuse to email and shudder at the thought of facebook invites.
I know this has been commented on a bunch already, but I love this UO! I don't write as often as I'd like, but I love it when I do. I actually got one of those wax sealing kits with the monogram stamp of my last name initial and wrote some regency style letters to my BFF and mom on fancy paper It was soooooooooo fun! Like writing a page of a Jane Austin novel
Re: Unpopular opinions (9/17)
It would be nice if everyone was just thankful to have received anything at all.
It took me a lot of years to get it through my head that I was worth more than someone else's opinion of me being a teenage mother
My UO we are all doing the best we can with what we have
But, I love target, not everyone gets custom China. I think most people would rather use target plates than an over the top $50 one. They have really nice products and many of them are a perfectly fine quAlity.
We discussed when we buy a house or for Xmas asking for a nice set of Corelle because we have a growing family who needs fancy plates right now?
(Oh and we use paper plates for some stuff too *gasp*)
DS1 Jan 2012
DS2 July 2013
DS3 February 2016
I don't think it's tacky/problematic to have a bridal shower despite living together before getting married. Having said that, if I get married, I definitely won't be having one because we have so much crap! Before moving in together, we both already had everything, then had to consolidate, got rid of a TON of stuff, and actually still have more stuff we need to donate. I just wouldn't be able to justify getting rid of everything of both of ours to get "new" just because we got married. Of course we could always have "nicer" or newer stuff, but what we have works and we will just replace it as needed over the years. I do fully respect that other people have different situations and may be in a situation where they do need new stuff despite living together before being married, though, so I think it's pretty individualized. I think we may have been in a different situation because my SO is older and we both owned our own houses and had ourselves established, so we bought what we both wanted/liked over the years, and still mostly like what we have.
I will say that the one thing that I kind of take issue with in regards to both baby and bridal showers is the expectation that others will fulfill all of your needs/wants for stuff for your house and/or child. I don't think there's anything wrong with making a registry to let people know what you're thinking of getting so that they can choose a gift off there if they want to. I guess I just take more of an approach of expecting to buy what you need, want, and can afford for yourselves, and if others want to gift you with something on or off of your registry, that's just a bonus. We have two registries- one private one that is just a list of stuff that we want to buy (stroller, high chair, nursery furniture, etc., that I wouldn't even want to imply that we want others to buy for us) then one that we will actually share with people for my shower that has smaller things just to give suggestions of things we are interested in. I'm fully prepared to have to buy the majority of it ourselves and we'll just be pleasantly surprised if we get a chunk of what's on our registry. I'm more than happy with homemade gifts or gifts not on the registry (though I do definitely understand the predicament of getting something that's totally not your style)- just the fact that someone wanted to buy something to celebrate us and our LO will be really touching for us. Having said THAT, when the roles are reversed, I do almost always buy things from the registry because I want to make sure I'm getting something that will really be utilized.
It's clear we all feel pretty differently on this one and I can definitely see everyone's point of view. Just thought I'd chime in.
I recycle my paper towels.
*Kate*
February 2016
Every house in our city gets a recycle bin and you can put any recyclable items in it and put it out on the curb on garbage day...then a truck comes and picks it up. There's a small fee for it but it's included in your water bill so you get charged regardless if you recycle or not.
Also I don't believe you can recycle certain paper products that are dirty. When I was in college if someone put a pizza box in the recycle dumpster they would bring it back up to your dorm room and yell at you.
Baby F.......02/02/2016
Even worse is the Christmas china. It can really only be used once a year! It seems so pointless.
I love our plain white ikea dishes that go with everything and are inexpensive to replace.
Baby F.......02/02/2016
Baby F.......02/02/2016