FFFC

kmalls · September 2015

Confess it all right here, ladies! Let's make it good, none of this "omg I secretly ate a donut last Wednesday!" crap.

What's your secret??

kmalls · September 2015

I go shopping. Not a lot, but often enough that my husband side-eyes me sometimes. Whenever I come home with new loot I tell him the biggest ticket item was purchased for me by my mom (we usually shop together). It's almost never purchased by my mom. DH never reads the line-items on our credit card statement, so...no harm no foul??

dsmith211 · September 2015

I secretly want to punch the guy who sits across from me. Who eats a Greek salad at 9 in the freaking morning? Someone who wants to make me vomit, that's who. But I'll just sit myself here at my desk with my oatmeal and ginger candy and breathe my way through this and hope no one notices. Totally picking up some sea bands at target during lunch today and hoping that helps.

yogahh · September 2015

I am biting my tongue from telling my co-workers what I think of them. I am a manager on our team, and one of the assistants comes to me a lot to vent about her manager and a shared assistant between her manager and me. I told her the other day I don't want to talk about my assistant anymore and now she is giving me the cold shoulder. She is a child and immature. Her boss is on maternity leave, and she keeps saying how she is doing her boss a "favor" taking on her workload, and how she "doesn't need a boss anymore". Is it 5:30 yet??

laurenmdrn16 · September 2015

My mom and I are super close (like BFFs) and we work in the same field, go to professional conferences together, hang out at least twice a week, call each other almost every night, live within 20 min of each other etc. But I do NOT want her to know I am pregnant.

When I first found out, I even considered terminating the pregnancy because I was a)terrified myself and b)knew it would freak my mom out to no end. See, when I think back on my son's birth, I acknowledge that it was pretty rough, but I then look at my little guy and it is all worth it. However, if he did something that almost killed him, as his mom I would be pissed and scared out of my mind if he did it again. This is how my mom feels. She had to watch her baby (me) almost die and even though she loves and adores my son (her 1st grandchild), she still sees pregnancy as a potential death sentence for her child. I don't want to scare her or stress her out, but I can't guarantee that this pregnancy is going to be smooth sailing...no one can. But how do I say to my mom "Hey, remember that time I almost died? Well, get ready, because it could happen again! Hooray!"

But it is killing me having this huge secret from her. I have never kept anything from her before (seriously, I was an annoying goody-two-shoes type teenager) and with my last pregnancy she was at every OBGYN appointment. I want my mom, but I don't want to upset her. I'm just gonna wallow in self-pity and my own self-created drama and scream: This sucks!

Bluejay3030 · September 2015

I secretly ate a donut last Wednesday!!! J/k

While we're on the subject of shopping, I pretty much always lie about how much I paid for something (making it an unbelievable sale!!), and I'm not even sure why.

Edit: words are hard

kmalls · September 2015

Bluejay3030 said:
I secretly ate a donut last Wednesday!!! J/k

While we're on the subject of shopping, I pretty much always lie about how much I paid for something (making it an unbelievable sale!!), and I'm not even sure why.

Edit: words are hard

I DO THE SAME THING. I swear, everything I buy is "the deal of the century." And by deal of the century I mean it was full price.

ETA: I don't know why I lie, either. I really don't shop enough for it to be a problem, but somehow I feel I should justify my purchases.

dsmith211 · September 2015

Update. I secretly ate a donut just now. Someone brought them for our morning meeting. It was amazing and surprisingly I feel a little bit better. So I don't feel bad at all.

kmalls · September 2015

@laurenmdrn16 - oh my gosh I'm so sorry you had such a traumatic birth experience. I don't blame your mom (or you!) for potentially panicking about that happening again. That being said, do you think it might help if she didn't come to every appointment this time around? It sounds like she was SUPER involved in your last pregnancy. Maybe it would help her to take a step back and breathe a little!

seashellz1223 · September 2015

I haven't done anything productive at work all morning! It's Friday so that's ok right!?

laurenmdrn16 · September 2015

I just found out these exist...and I feel I must eat them all! I usually can take or leave coconut, but right now it sounds like absolute heaven!

laurenmdrn16 · September 2015

kmalls said:

@laurenmdrn16 - oh my gosh I'm so sorry you had such a traumatic birth experience. I don't blame your mom (or you!) for potentially panicking about that happening again. That being said, do you think it might help if she didn't come to every appointment this time around? It sounds like she was SUPER involved in your last pregnancy. Maybe it would help her to take a step back and breathe a little!

I think you are right. Maybe if I have her watch my son while I go to appointments it will help her keep her mind off worrying about me and instead remind her how great grandkids are. I know she is going to want to be involved, but I do think it may have been a bit much last time...

Edited because my brain is not working...

Unknown · September 2015

This content has been removed.

Jesse835235 · September 2015

This is probably more of a bitchfest than a confession, but I read a post this week that is driving me bonkers... It was about someone receiving WIC/Medicaid with their 10 month old and they are pregnant again. It's one thing if someone is in a temporary situation and needs help. That's fine; that's what the programs are there for. However, if you already have one kid that you can't afford, please don't bring another one into that situation. End rant. Now, I better get back working!

kbrands7 · September 2015

dsmith211 said:

Update. I secretly ate a donut just now. Someone brought them for our morning meeting. It was amazing and surprisingly I feel a little bit better. So I don't feel bad at all.

I can relate! I openly/purposefully/willingly ate one at a meeting on Wednesday. I was nauseated and it was delicious. No regrets.

In terms of a real confession, ever since my phone randomly delayed texts/missed calls a few times, I have used that as an excuse sometimes to buy more time to get back to people if I don't feel like talking to them right then or if I forgot to text back. I'm usually a very honest person/guilty conscience sort of person, but I have some family members who expect an immediate response or else they'll fear the worst.

Spylon · September 2015

I haven't done any work yet. No, that's not true; I typed up half a case note. In three hours.

josie12367 · September 2015

I accidentally told my husband's person he chose to tell that I was pregnant before he got the chance. It was hot outside, and during the longest parade of my life, and I mentioned hormones, and then she asked if I was, and I couldn't get a poker face together fast enough. Oops!

m6agua · September 2015

I with you @MrsCase14 and @seashellz1223 I got my BFP 2 days ago. This is my third day of being unproductive at work. I have done nothing.

balamama · September 2015

Omg I've been SO unproductive at work it's bad. All I can do is sit here hunched over trying not to vomit (oh and post on TB, of course!)

Also, @kmalls I do the saaaame thing re: shopping and also don't know why! I have a separate credit card from DH but given all these sales of the century I'm shopping it's a wonder my monthly bills are so high!

kmalls · September 2015

Jesse835235 said:
This is probably more of a bitchfest than a confession, but I read a post this week that is driving me bonkers... It was about someone receiving WIC/Medicaid with their 10 month old and they are pregnant again. It's one thing if someone is in a temporary situation and needs help. That's fine; that's what the programs are there for. However, if you already have one kid that you can't afford, please don't bring another one into that situation. End rant. Now, I better get back working!

While I agree that financial responsibility is REALLY important, I think this is a pretty harsh judgement. We have no idea what her situation is. She and her s/o may work in jobs that don't provide health insurance. Birth control may have failed. S/O may have taken off. Who knows. Whatever the reason is, health insurance is EXPENSIVE and purchasing it privately is not an option for everyone. Personally I have no problem with anyone seeking public assistance for healthcare whatsoever, particularly for infants.

Family planning is important, yes, but life isn't always perfect.

oandmplus1 · September 2015

My co-worker and I ditched our morning meeting and went to a mom2mom sale instead. I got some great deals, so I don't even feel guilty about missing a little work.
Second part of the confession is that I went there to look for clothes for DD and DS, but ended up buying a brand new pack and Play because it was such a great deal (and it was a really nice one). I'm only 3 weeks and already made a baby purchase. Ugh.

josie12367 · September 2015

kmalls said:

This is probably more of a bitchfest than a confession, but I read a post this week that is driving me bonkers... It was about someone receiving WIC/Medicaid with their 10 month old and they are pregnant again. It's one thing if someone is in a temporary situation and needs help. That's fine; that's what the programs are there for. However, if you already have one kid that you can't afford, please don't bring another one into that situation. End rant. Now, I better get back working!
While I agree that financial responsibility is REALLY important, I think this is a pretty harsh judgement. We have no idea what her situation is. She and her s/o may work in jobs that don't provide health insurance. Birth control may have failed. S/O may have taken off. Who knows. Whatever the reason is, health insurance is EXPENSIVE and purchasing it privately is not an option for everyone. Personally I have no problem with anyone seeking public assistance for healthcare whatsoever, particularly for infants. Family planning is important, yes, but life isn't always perfect.

Plus formula is hella' expensive. A can of formula only last two days in the early infant stages at most, and is $15 a can. WIC is awesome for supplementing the funds required for groceries while pregnant, while baby is still needing formula/breastmilk, and for a child's first five years. It's actually an awesome initiative in my opinion to make sure mom to be's and children are getting the nutrition they need, and unlike food stamps, you can only buy specific healthy foods with WIC money. While to qualify you cannot make over a certain amount annually, I don't see how utilizing WIC means that someone shouldn't have more children.

Bookhousegirl · September 2015

DH is staying in the city late tonight to meet up with friends and I'm genuinely excited to have the night to myself. I love spending time with him but sometimes I really enjoy an evening on my own to order whatever take-out I want and watch trashy TV.

BabyVDM · September 2015

I'm so exhausted that I just want to dump the twins on my husband this weekend and do nothing.

NOT going to fly but a girl can dream.

vinerie · September 2015

Jesse835235 said:

This is probably more of a bitchfest than a confession, but I read a post this week that is driving me bonkers... It was about someone receiving WIC/Medicaid with their 10 month old and they are pregnant again. It's one thing if someone is in a temporary situation and needs help. That's fine; that's what the programs are there for. However, if you already have one kid that you can't afford, please don't bring another one into that situation. End rant. Now, I better get back working!

We should just sterilize the poors, really.

baybeekay · September 2015

DH is going away for the weekend and I am trying to hide my excitment from him. He works from home so he is ALWAYS there. I mean, I love spending time with him, but come on! I need my own time in the house......

I have the whole house to myself (well and the dog) until Sunday..... my @$$ will not be removed from my couch and depending on the weather, my pool.

kmalls · September 2015

@vinerie - legit lol

Charla1224 · September 2015

Seems like there are a lot of ladies who just recently learned their prego... yay for them!! Hoping for a happy and healthy 9 months and looking forward to getting to know you all.

But they've come to the May 2016 boards not realizing our little community has already begun developing. The repeating subjects and comments are just a tad annoying. I really wish people would take the time to lurk and search before posting.

Jesse835235 · September 2015

Fair enough and I do apologize how that came across. I would never advocate for a child being cut off from resources and I do agree that benefits are useful and serve a very important purpose. However, some people are lacking in personal responsibility and it gets frustrating.

vinerie said:

Jesse835235 said:

This is probably more of a bitchfest than a confession, but I read a post this week that is driving me bonkers... It was about someone receiving WIC/Medicaid with their 10 month old and they are pregnant again. It's one thing if someone is in a temporary situation and needs help. That's fine; that's what the programs are there for. However, if you already have one kid that you can't afford, please don't bring another one into that situation. End rant. Now, I better get back working!

We should just sterilize the poors, really.

kbrands7 · September 2015

@Charla1224

I've been trying to take the polite route, but it's getting more difficult especially with the 8 million separate threads about morning sickness. I also wish that I could fix typos/grammatical errors in thread titles.

vinerie · September 2015

People need to learn how to spell! There are FOUR -- count 'em, FOUR -- glaring errors on the front page, including two in one thread title alone! Drives a girl nuts!

ETA: I just realized this is not a confession. Thus, ETA my FFFC is that I will judge you on your grammar.

vinerie · September 2015

Jesse835235 said: However, some people are lacking in personal responsibility and it gets frustrating.****Anticipated QBF
Yes, can't they just be more personally responsible and be born into wealthier families!? SHEESH

mcvgal · September 2015

vinerie said:

People need to learn how to spell! There are FOUR -- count 'em, FOUR -- glaring errors on the front page, including two in one thread title alone! Drives a girl nuts!

ETA: I just realized this is not a confession. Thus, ETA my FFFC is that I will judge you on your grammar.

I had to go back and check out the front page. The title with four errors is just staring at me now.

Jesse835235 · September 2015

vinerie said:

Jesse835235 said:

However, some people are lacking in personal responsibility and it gets frustrating.
****Anticipated QBF

Yes, can't they just be more personally responsible and be born into wealthier families!? SHEESH

I was talking about the parents, not the children.

Edited due to quote box.

vinerie · September 2015

Jesse835235 said:

vinerie said: Jesse835235 said: However, some people are lacking in personal responsibility and it gets frustrating.****Anticipated QBF
Yes, can't they just be more personally responsible and be born into wealthier families!? SHEESH
I was talking about the parents, not the children.

Edited due to quote box.
Yeah, I know. Stereotyping poor people as lazy, unintelligent or as people who make poor choices excuses society from addressing the myriad ways in which it is structured to create inequality. Individuals on public assistance are exponentially more likely to come from a lower SES background than those who are not. It's a cycle that is not helped by people who say those are poor got there by their own bad choices.

Charla1224 · September 2015

vinerie said:
Yeah, I know. Stereotyping poor people as lazy, unintelligent or as people who make poor choices excuses society from addressing the myriad ways in which it is structured to create inequality. Individuals on public assistance are exponentially more likely to come from a lower SES background than those who are not. It's a cycle that is not helped by people who say those are poor got there by their own bad choices.

Thank you so much for saying this so beautifully.

josie12367 · September 2015

vinerie said:

Jesse835235 said:

vinerie said:

Jesse835235 said:

However, some people are lacking in personal responsibility and it gets frustrating.
****Anticipated QBF

Yes, can't they just be more personally responsible and be born into wealthier families!? SHEESH

I was talking about the parents, not the children.

Edited due to quote box.
Yeah, I know. Stereotyping poor people as lazy, unintelligent or as people who make poor choices excuses society from addressing the myriad ways in which it is structured to create inequality. Individuals on public assistance are exponentially more likely to come from a lower SES background than those who are not. It's a cycle that is not helped by people who say those are poor got there by their own bad choices.

---------------QBF-----------------------

Very true. We qualify for both Medicaid and WIC but not because we make bad choices, but because we're a military family. We don't utilize them at the moment because we're managing on a low annual salary just fine and have TRICARE for insurance, but sometimes low income =/= bad life choices...

Jesse835235 · September 2015

Whoa, whoa. I never once said to do away with public assistance. I've said multiple times that it's serves an excellent purpose. I also agree that many people are in tough economic situations to begin with it's an extremely difficult cycle to be broken. So don't make it look like I'm against people who have been dealt a short hand, because I'm certainly not. My initial post was about if someone already has children that they are responsible for and if they can't provide for them, it's probably not prudent for them to bring more people into the world. It came off harsh and I apologized for that.

Unknown · September 2015

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Bluejay3030 · September 2015

vinerie said:
People need to learn how to spell! There are FOUR -- count 'em, FOUR -- glaring errors on the front page, including two in one thread title alone! Drives a girl nuts!

ETA: I just realized this is not a confession. Thus, ETA my FFFC is that I will judge you on your grammar.

Lol! I'm normally right there with you, but since I got pregnant I feel like my grammar has gone down the tubes, and my vocabulary is disappearing. I don't know if that's a thing, but it sucks! I've re-read some of my comments and just thought "eeeeeew, that doesn't sound right".

vinerie · September 2015

Jesse835235 said:

Whoa, whoa. I never once said to do away with public assistance. I've said multiple times that it's serves an excellent purpose. I also agree that many people are in tough economic situations to begin with it's an extremely difficult cycle to be broken. So don't make it look like I'm against people who have been dealt a short hand, because I'm certainly not. My initial post was about if someone already has children that they are responsible for and if they can't provide for them, it's probably not prudent for them to bring more people into the world. It came off harsh and I apologized for that.

I hear you trying to add nuance and it's a difficult issue, no doubt. But why must the change come from the person who is struggling (i.e. suggesting she opts to not have kids)? Why must we blame her? Why can't the change come from our society in the form of policies that prevent so many American citizens from falling below the poverty line? Why aren't we blaming our social structure for the ways that it amplifies income and wealth inequality?

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