May 2016 Moms

Anyone keeping it a secret?

My husband and I married in May 2014 and immediately started for a family. We didn't do anything extra special, just no birth control. After a year of no sucess and worried because I have PCOS, we began tracking my ovulation calander per my OBGYN's instructions and 2 months later I'm pregnant!! I found out at 4 weeks, thats what happens when you're trying. LOL I am so excited!!! I took 2 stick test and still wasn't trusting it so I demanded a blood test, which also was positive. I will have my first appointment on Tuesday at 8 weeks. We have decided not to tell anyone until 12 weeks or so and it is driving me crazy. I want to tell everyone and ask questions, but I don't at the same time. Anyone else struggling with keeping the secret?
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Re: Anyone keeping it a secret?

  • Yes, my hubby and I are keeping things mum! We have prior miscarriages and are just trying to take things day by day! We are at 6 weeks and things seem good but we want to be cautious. But ugggg, it really is so hard! We are so hopeful and excited but it's just us in the loop for now!
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  • This time around, we aren't keeping it a secret from everyone. We have told my parents and DH's parents. Other than them, I've only told my best friend and dentist (so they wouldn't do X-rays at my appointment last week). Everyone else, we are keeping it on the DL until 8 weeks, when I'll tell my SIL and BIL, then a couple more close friends. We really want to try to keep it secret from the majority of people until Christmas, when I will tell DD and all of FB. With DD, we kept it secret from everyone until 10 weeks. That was SUPER hard.
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  • We are trying to keep it a secret and its tough! We each told a friend, and are waiting until after the first appointment to tell our parents. Problem is, I'm feeling really awful and I work for the family business. Was really hoping to hold out until Halloween to tell my aunts and the people in my office, but I dont think I'll be able to last that long, especially with me feeling so poorly!
  • Me not so much. I could care less if other people get to know. DH is having issues though. He wants to tell everyone as soon as possible. So I've compromised and said family after our first appointment then everyone else after the first trimester.
  • I'm telling my 2 best friends so I have some girl support. We are still undecided when to tell our families but definitely after our first appointment (10/13). So maybe Halloween? I would be about 10 weeks then.
  • mrstmoose said:
    I'm telling my 2 best friends so I have some girl support. We are still undecided when to tell our families but definitely after our first appointment (10/13). So maybe Halloween? I would be about 10 weeks then.

    My appt is 10/12, and I also thought that I would "reveal" for Halloween

    Got my cat a bandana that says Big Sister. So on FB, the reveal will be "Hazel's Halloween Costume"

    At work, I thought I would send an email asking everyone what they are being for Halloween. Then tell them I am going to be a "mummy"

    ***this is the girl that HATES Halloween too, remember!***

    We have told some people. I am pretty good at keeping it under wraps. DH, not so much. He told his whole team at work. A girl I work with knows, and 2 friends. Next time my boss isn't stressed, Ill be telling her as I need time off for my appt.  My mom will know next weekend, his parents the following.

    cat fail animated GIF

  • We are hoping to keep the secret from everyone till there's no denying it. We just don't want anyone else to have any input. And yeah I guess we're a little selfish. I know I can get it past my parents because they are in a different state.
    We have 3 boys, twins who are 10 and a 4 yr old, so hopefully this will be the girl.
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  • My husband wants to wait the traditional 12 weeks. But I'm lousy with secrets so I've already told my older sister and a few friends. My family lives in NY and we will be visiting the first weekend in October. Since I want to tell them in person we are going to tell them on this visit rather than waiting until the Christmas. And because they are also bad with secrets we are going to tell my in-laws before the trip and FB sometime after. Maybe my mom will finally agree to move to Texas after we tell her the news.
  • Last time, we ended up finding out we had a blighted ovum JUST after we had told our families and thus, started telling several others, and the day before announcing and church and on Facebook. Not making that mistake again. This time, we told one couple (close friends) for sanity and prayer, and another dear older couple who had many struggles with miscarriages and infertility for prayer and questions. Not telling anyone else until the first US. We will cautiously tell a few more but wait on announcements until the end of the first trimester.
  • After have a miscarriage, 2 healthy babies, and another miscarriage, we decided to tell our family figuring if we have another miscarriage, we will want the family support. Our friends will probably be told after my dating ultrasound.


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  • edited September 2015
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  • DH doesn't want to tell anyone until after 12 weeks. I told him I am telling my BFF today when I see her. She just had a baby last month so she will be a huge support for me. As for family and close friends, it will be thanksgiving unless I can convince DH to spill the beans earlier. Probably won't do anything on FB until after thanksgiving maybe even wait til Xmas.
    _______________________________________________
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    • BFP: 9/16/15 — MC: 11/8/15 Blighted Ovum
    • BFP: 3/10/16 — Baby Girl born 11/20/16
    TTC#2 April 2019 
    • BFP: 9/12/19 — EDD 5/15/20

  • We haven't told any family members or friends yet.  The people in my department know, and DH's boss.  That's it.
  • We are mostly keeping it a secret.  Due to a recent loss, I am having a few extra appointments and my Mom is helping me out with babysitting so we told my parents.  I try to keep it a secret at work but I can't take care of certain patients so in the past, my pregnancies have come out earlier than I wanted.  Everyone else will be much closer to 12 weeks - maybe my in laws will be a bit earlier so they feel special.
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  • We're definitely keeping it a secret. I dread other people's comments. Plus, after several losses and being high risk, I just don't feel like telling people.
  • Last time we told people right before we found out we had a blighted ovum so we're waiting until the 12 week mark and we see something on the ultra sound
  • kyashley1227kyashley1227 member
    edited September 2015
    We are keeping things very quiet for a while. We have a baby who will be 1 next month. This baby (while a blessing) was a huge shock. We're hoping to keep it a secret until Christmas and announce with the gender. I'm not sure if we'll be able to keep it a secret that long since this is baby #3 for us! 
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  • We are keeping it a secret for awhile too. We are thinking about announcing around the beginning of December but we aren't positive yet.
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  • We are keeping it a secret, most likely until 12 weeks. Last year I had a miscarriage a day after we told everyone we were pregnant. I don't want to risk doing that again. Keeping it a secret is easier than I thought it would be. Although I can't wait to tell my girls, they will be so excited!
  • Our first pregnancy with DS was announced by the ER doctor while I was unconscious (long story) and our last pregnancy ended in early miscarriage. We ended up telling our parents the day of the miscarriage due to medical issues. So this pregnancy I hope to have a little more control of how and when we tell LOL. We're thinking of announcing toward late October which would be 10/11 weeks.
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  • Trying to keep as quiet as possible. Had an early miscarriage about a year ago. We're really excited and he's keeping me as positive as he can. So hoping for the best so we can tell everyone around November
  • We plan to keep it a secret until 14 weeks- reason being that it's a huge holiday in our religion that week so I know family will be extra excited to find out then. We won't announce to anyone else until Dec. We recently miscarried right after we had told family at 10 weeks so want to wait it out. But the wait is killing me!! I've put a countdown ticker on my phone until I can spill the beans to family- they are the ones that truly matter to me to find out.
  • Our first pregnancy with DS was announced by the ER doctor while I was unconscious (long story) and our last pregnancy ended in early miscarriage. We ended up telling our parents the day of the miscarriage due to medical issues. So this pregnancy I hope to have a little more control of how and when we tell LOL. We're thinking of announcing toward late October which would be 10/11 weeks.

    Color me curious....
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  • I also have PCOS. We tried for over a year. We decided against fertility treatments and conceived naturally. I lost the baby and a month later at my well woman my Dr. Surprised me with the positive test! We told our family early with our first baby because we were so excited. This time around we have told our parents but that is it. We will tell everyone but we don't have a set time.
  • We are keeping it secret for at least a few weeks. My progesterone is very low so things are really up in the air right now anyway. I'm thinking I won't be able to hide it for long though so I'll be surprised if we can keep it quiet until 7 or 8 weeks.

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  • Yes.. Keeping baby # 2 a secret until October 18th.  We do an annual pumpkin carving party and plan to announce then.  We will put DD in a "big sis" shirt and just have her walk around the party until someone puts two and two together. :)
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  • Our first pregnancy with DS was announced by the ER doctor while I was unconscious (long story) and our last pregnancy ended in early miscarriage. We ended up telling our parents the day of the miscarriage due to medical issues. So this pregnancy I hope to have a little more control of how and when we tell LOL. We're thinking of announcing toward late October which would be 10/11 weeks.

    Color me curious....
    I was training as a crisis worker in the ER. I had been standing forever, was feeling hot and nauseous. Next thing I know I'm waking up in a hospital bed, hooked up to machines with my DH, my mom and MIL staring at me. DH looks at me and says I asked the doctor not to tell anyone you were pregnant but he didn't listen. Then I got rolled away to get an u/s. I was literally maybe 6 weeks at the time.
    My coworker that I was training with called my boss and he showed up. There I am laying, in a hospital gown, with my boss staring at me X_X .. The worst moment of my life!!
    So since I was technically working, I had to go through workers comp. So my whole office knew before most of my extended family.
    Definitely not the way I pictured announcing that pregnancy LOL!
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  • My stepmother and father know. DH and I have had a couple of losses in the past few months. The rest of my family asked me not to tell them because of the losses, so they'll figure it out when I start showing I guess. DH's family will have a negative reaction, so we're waiting a long time for them too. I just don't feel right telling others before family, so I don't have many options. At least there's always random internet strangers to talk to :D
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  • @zekesmommy611 yikes! That makes me feel a little better about being outed last night. Could've been worse ;)
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  • We are as well. Not sure how long for, we have always told family straight away when we found out at 4 weeks. First time no issues (have a lovely 2 year daughter) however I had a mmc at 12 weeks in July when trying for our second. 

    I'm not sure when to tell this time, we had an early scan last time and saw a heartbeat at 8 weeks so thought everything was okay and safe to tell our close friends as well. Everyone else I wait until after the 12 week scan. 

    I think this time I will tell both family and close friends after the 8 week scan because I know the family will worry about it happening again, so I'll let us get past the really early stages without stressing them out as well. 

    Thing is I liked that I had people to talk to about the miscarriage and if it happened again I would probably want to talk about it in the same way. So it's a difficult one. 

    xx

     
  • We're hoping to keep mum until my daughters birthday party Oct 24th. For our first pregnancy, we didn't have an ultrasound until our 12 week NT test, so that kind of kept us from telling people because we hadn't actually "seen" anything. This time, the new practice I go to does an ultrasound for your first appt and I'm sooooo excited! I don't know if I'll be able to wait almost 3 weeks after that! (Oct 1)
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  • We have told our parents and one or two close friends, as well as our siblings. We just went through IVF and everyone we've told knew what we'd been going through so we just couldn't wait to share the news! We had a miscarriage about a year and a half ago, but I'm still super excited to tell everyone and it's unbelievably hard to keep this all a secret! I'm thinking we'll tell everyone around Halloween when we hit the 12 week mark!
  • Yes, we are trying our best to stay hush this time. Last year we decided to tell our family and close friends after our 7 wk scan when we heard the heartbeat and sadly had to tell them 2 weeks later that we had a missed m/c. This time, we have each told only our closest friend and our pastor for support and prayer. The plan is to tell our family after our 10 wk scan and we probably won't make any sort of public announcement until close to thanksgiving when I am near the 14 wk mark. It's really hard though as I want to tell our parents! Just don't know want them to be hurt and disappointed if it ends badly again. Everything looks good right now but I'm still a bit nervous due to my bicornate shaped uterus and prior m/c putting me at high risk.
  • We are! I have told one close friend just because she just had a baby girl & she's a l&d nurse. We are planning to tell our family and friends around Thanksgiving when I'll be around 12wks or so.
    :)
  • Only my sister, and two of DH's friends know. We're not telling anyone else till around Halloween. I'll be living with my parents around then, and I'm sure i'm going to start showing earlier this time around, so there's only so long I can hide it. I'll most likely do a Halloween reveal for my parents, and DH will be in WA saying goodbye to his parents, so he's going to do his own reveal. Then we will have an official announcement picture in frames for both sets of grandparents which will also be posted online for family that lives far away sometime close the Thanksgiving maybe?
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  • Oh Yes.  We are not telling anyone until I have to and only because I'm showing.

    I went through a pretty difficult pregnancy/delivery with the girls and my Mom has already express the opinion that I'd be a fool to try for another.  I just don't want anyone to know because I hate the idea of the talk that will happen while I'm still pregnant.  Once the boy arrives everyone will forget about how 'foolish' I am being and just love him.

    Mom is coming for Christmas though, hopefully I won't be showing by then. But that's 20 weeks and likely I will be.  

    Fingers crossed. 


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  • We had 2 miscarriages and then a little girl so we wait until an US at 8w then tell family then at around 12-13w we go public was Halloween last time and this time again ;)
    Only 5w today and going insane I want to yell it from the rooftop but am still terrified of losing my sweet tiny baby so I am waiting for the US before I say anything.
  • My daughter turns 1 at the start of November and I wanted to wait until our Christmas party to tell anyone, but just in case I start showing sooner this pregnancy, I at least want to wait until after Autumn's birthday!
  • We will be waiting to tell. I think we will wait until 10-12 weeks. We get the first ultrasound at 10 weeks. I just survived my little sisters wedding without telling a soul and it was killer! Then my older sister told me they are having fertility issues for a few years now and now I'm struggling with how to tell her. Anyone have advice on this?
  • Yes, it's so hard to keep it a secret!!! With my 2nd baby I told my family (parents, siblings) immediately (like 4 weeks) and later I kind of felt bad making them also wait forever to be able to tell any of their friends or our distant relatives. Plus it's a little less time for them to wait until baby is actually here! That is going to be so hard for my kids. They can hardly wait 2 weeks to go to a friend's b-day party. Waiting 6 months on a baby sibling will seem like an eternity!
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