While it is generally frowned upon on these boards (and I won't be having one), I feel like IRL, they are very common among people I know. One woman I know just had her 4th baby shower (sadly she lost baby #3 late) but all of her kids are girls. My SIL had 3 baby showers. My dd will be less than 2 years old when I have this baby - it seems gift grabby. People asking for diapers because they are expensive always makes me wonder if they are in position to be having kids (if you think that's the expensive part). Having a party because of a different gender and you bought everything in one color the first time around - not your friends' responsibility that you didn't take a long term view.
I say do whatever you and your friends want. I always think it weird to register for things, we didn't for our wedding because it felt like "hey come celebrate our love and buy us crap!" Not our style. But so many people want to buy for baby I think we will register in an attempt to have some choice over what crap we get.
I never understood the mother only aspect of baby showers. A lot of people I know are now doing showers with both moms and dads and both genders coming to the shower, I think that's great. We want dads to be involved in parenting they should get celebrated from the beginning too.
Just my opinion. As with most things, I think you should do what you want/what works for you.
I don't believe in multiple showers either but I'm not offended by someone having a second shower if the baby is a different sex than the first.
On the flip side I know people who have showers for every child and I'm the odd one for thinking its taboo or gift grabby.
It's also common in South Florida to charge people for attending your shower (be it baby or bridal) in addition to registering for a gift. You better believe I do not attend such showers.
How is a shower "gift grabby?" For one thing, they aren't gifts for you, they are really for the baby. Aren't birthday parties "gift grabby?" And you know you'll be having one of those every year for the kid. This is like a zero year birthday party, no? Plus baby stuff is pretty cheap and there's no minimum price or requirement that people give a gift. And you aren't getting something for nothing if food and drinks and whatever is provided for party guests.
How is a shower "gift grabby?" For one thing, they aren't gifts for you, they are really for the baby. Aren't birthday parties "gift grabby?" And you know you'll be having one of those every year for the kid. This is like a zero year birthday party, no? Plus baby stuff is pretty cheap and there's no minimum price or requirement that people give a gift. And you aren't getting something for nothing if food and drinks and whatever is provided for party guests.
A shower that is thrown for the MTB by someone other than her is not gift grabby. And the gifts are for the parents-to-be to use for the baby, as a baby cannot dress itself or change its own diapers.
Birthday parties are not gift giving events, although many choose to brig a gift. By definition, any kind of shower is to "shower the guest of honor with gifts." That's not the same as a birthday party.
How is a shower "gift grabby?" For one thing, they aren't gifts for you, they are really for the baby. Aren't birthday parties "gift grabby?" And you know you'll be having one of those every year for the kid. This is like a zero year birthday party, no? Plus baby stuff is pretty cheap and there's no I minimum price or requirement that people give a gift. And you aren't getting something for nothing if food and drinks and whatever is provided for party guests.
This is my fourth....if I were to have another shower it would be very gift grabby. I have everything and more for this child, and would never ever think to have another shower. Furthermore, my oldest just turned five and had her very first ever birthday party with people other than grandma and grandpa. I also don't think a child needs a huge party for every year. Too me, that is too much.
I don't know, I'm torn. We are most definitely the entertainers of the group. We have BBQs and sushi nights and football nights. For everything, all the time. Nothing is ever expected of our guests/friends/family. So much so, that we threw a BBQ for my daughter's first birthday. What *I* thought was a simple Madeline-themed BBQ. Like a regular BBQ, with a smash cake. I was actually surprised that everyone brought gifts for her. Honestly. I was expecting her grandparents and aunts to bring her something to be opened later. Nope. I was entertaining/taking care of Madeline and I look and there's this whole corner full of presents.
I say that because...Would it be totally wrong of us to throw a...Kid#2 themed BBQ? If people *want* to bring diapers or wipes...::shrug::...let 'em.
I had my formal baby shower with invitations, decorations, games, cake, the whole nine. I don't need another one of those. But I wouldn't be opposed to a co-ed, lax BBQ. Where the only game would be cornhole. I don't know. I know baby showers are for the *mom* and not the baby, really. But I'd feel guilty if Madeline got all the bells and whistles and Kid #2 got jack squat for their arrival.
I don't know, I'm torn. We are most definitely the entertainers of the group. We have BBQs and sushi nights and football nights. For everything, all the time. Nothing is ever expected of our guests/friends/family. So much so, that we threw a BBQ for my daughter's first birthday. What *I* thought was a simple Madeline-themed BBQ. Like a regular BBQ, with a smash cake. I was actually surprised that everyone brought gifts for her. Honestly. I was expecting her grandparents and aunts to bring her something to be opened later. Nope. I was entertaining/taking care of Madeline and I look and there's this whole corner full of presents.
I say that because...Would it be totally wrong of us to throw a...Kid#2 themed BBQ? If people *want* to bring diapers or wipes...::shrug::...let 'em.
I had my formal baby shower with invitations, decorations, games, cake, the whole nine. I don't need another one of those. But I wouldn't be opposed to a co-ed, lax BBQ. Where the only game would be cornhole. I don't know. I know baby showers are for the *mom* and not the baby, really. But I'd feel guilty if Madeline got all the bells and whistles and Kid #2 got jack squat for their arrival.
Just my .02
I personally buy something for each new baby, I just don't need to be invited to a shower or party to give a gift.
I don't see anything wrong with having a party before the baby (though I definitely prefer parties where baby is present) I just object to having subsequent showers. Showers denote gifts, if it's not about gifts, don't use the word shower, keep the whole baby thing minimal, and just have a party.
I think people make this more complicated then it needs to be. The baby doesn't care what color onesie they wear, how many toys they have, whether mommy got a new diaper bag, none of that matters to the baby. The baby wants to be fed, loved, and kept away from the elements.
I don't know, I'm torn. We are most definitely the entertainers of the group. We have BBQs and sushi nights and football nights. For everything, all the time. Nothing is ever expected of our guests/friends/family. So much so, that we threw a BBQ for my daughter's first birthday. What *I* thought was a simple Madeline-themed BBQ. Like a regular BBQ, with a smash cake. I was actually surprised that everyone brought gifts for her. Honestly. I was expecting her grandparents and aunts to bring her something to be opened later. Nope. I was entertaining/taking care of Madeline and I look and there's this whole corner full of presents.
I say that because...Would it be totally wrong of us to throw a...Kid#2 themed BBQ? If people *want* to bring diapers or wipes...::shrug::...let 'em.
I had my formal baby shower with invitations, decorations, games, cake, the whole nine. I don't need another one of those. But I wouldn't be opposed to a co-ed, lax BBQ. Where the only game would be cornhole. I don't know. I know baby showers are for the *mom* and not the baby, really. But I'd feel guilty if Madeline got all the bells and whistles and Kid #2 got jack squat for their arrival.
Just my .02
I personally buy something for each new baby, I just don't need to be invited to a shower or party to give a gift.
I don't see anything wrong with having a party before the baby (though I definitely prefer parties where baby is present) I just object to having subsequent showers. Showers denote gifts, if it's not about gifts, don't use the word shower, keep the whole baby thing minimal, and just have a party.
I think people make this more complicated then it needs to be. The baby doesn't care what color onesie they wear, how many toys they have, whether mommy got a new diaper bag, none of that matters to the baby. The baby wants to be fed, loved, and kept away from the elements.
Me too! I've never visited a mom friend with a new baby empty handed, ever! No matter what number baby. I think for some reason people on these boards are super anti second baby shower. Like to get stuck in semantics and say a shower is for gift giving but a birthday party isn't? Come on. Even birthday parties that say "absolutely no presents" have presents brought.
I think if someone offers to throw a party for your new baby, then you should celebrate that baby! Call it a baby party instead of a shower if you don't want to offend the women on these boards lol!
First BFP 12/2012, MMC at 9 weeks
Second BFP 6/2013, resulted in DS, born 2/23/14 :-)
Third BFP 5/2015, natural MC at 6 weeks
Fourth BFP 8/2015, hoping for sticky little brother or sister to H!
Proud SAHM to our little monkey H.
Pro Vax, extended breasftfeeder, ring sling and stroller loving mama. I don't judge you unless you don't vaccinate!
I don't know, I'm torn. We are most definitely the entertainers of the group. We have BBQs and sushi nights and football nights. For everything, all the time. Nothing is ever expected of our guests/friends/family. So much so, that we threw a BBQ for my daughter's first birthday. What *I* thought was a simple Madeline-themed BBQ. Like a regular BBQ, with a smash cake. I was actually surprised that everyone brought gifts for her. Honestly. I was expecting her grandparents and aunts to bring her something to be opened later. Nope. I was entertaining/taking care of Madeline and I look and there's this whole corner full of presents.
I say that because...Would it be totally wrong of us to throw a...Kid#2 themed BBQ? If people *want* to bring diapers or wipes...::shrug::...let 'em.
I had my formal baby shower with invitations, decorations, games, cake, the whole nine. I don't need another one of those. But I wouldn't be opposed to a co-ed, lax BBQ. Where the only game would be cornhole. I don't know. I know baby showers are for the *mom* and not the baby, really. But I'd feel guilty if Madeline got all the bells and whistles and Kid #2 got jack squat for their arrival.
Just my .02
I personally buy something for each new baby, I just don't need to be invited to a shower or party to give a gift.
I don't see anything wrong with having a party before the baby (though I definitely prefer parties where baby is present) I just object to having subsequent showers. Showers denote gifts, if it's not about gifts, don't use the word shower, keep the whole baby thing minimal, and just have a party.
I think people make this more complicated then it needs to be. The baby doesn't care what color onesie they wear, how many toys they have, whether mommy got a new diaper bag, none of that matters to the baby. The baby wants to be fed, loved, and kept away from the elements.
Me too! I've never visited a mom friend with a new baby empty handed, ever! No matter what number baby. I think for some reason people on these boards are super anti second baby shower. Like to get stuck in semantics and say a shower is for gift giving but a birthday party isn't? Come on. Even birthday parties that say "absolutely no presents" have presents brought.
I think if someone offers to throw a party for your new baby, then you should celebrate that baby! Call it a baby party instead of a shower if you don't want to offend the women on these boards lol!
For me, the difference between a shower and a birthday party is the child itself. Shower gifts are more based on the parents taste and what might be useful to them , whereas once birthday gifts are applicable, the child starts to show some individuality and the gift is for the child.
Yeah, she lost me on the "birthday parties aren't gift-giving events" comment. Please.
I get that women shouldn't have a big extravagant, traditional baby shower for every baby, but to suggest that any pre-baby party invitation should explicitly refrain from even mentioning the word "baby" is absurd.
Sure, I guess... go ahead and have a party if you MUST, but know that in doing so, some strangers on the internet will consider you a selfish, attention-hungry, gift-grabbing pariah. And for goodness sake, whatever you do, don't mention the words BABY, or PREGNANT, or FUN anywhere on the invitations! In fact, don't even tell anyone that you're pregnant, not EVERYTHING is about YOU.
Note that there is no mention of gifts in the definition of a party therefore, gifts are not expected. It's a social norm, though, to bring gifts to a birthday party although they are not required.
I vote no, for all of the reasons stated above. I can understand sprinkles for parents that have many years between children, but even then, it's questionable.
Yeah, she lost me on the "birthday parties aren't gift-giving events" comment. Please.
I get that women shouldn't have a big extravagant, traditional baby shower for every baby, but to suggest that any pre-baby party invitation should explicitly refrain from even mentioning the word "baby" is absurd.
Sure, I guess... go ahead and have a party if you MUST, but know that in doing so, some strangers on the internet will consider you a selfish, attention-hungry, gift-grabbing pariah. And for goodness sake, whatever you do, don't mention the words BABY, or PREGNANT, or FUN anywhere on the invitations! In fact, don't even tell anyone that you're pregnant, not EVERYTHING is about YOU.
Ah, yes. In order to...commemorate the arrival of...the month of April...? And any events that might happen in that month...? You are invited to a...social gathering.
Here's my deal: I would consider honestly throwing...ourselves and Kid#2 this BBQ because I want for our friends and family to gather and celebrate this new addition to our family. That's it. It has *nothing* to do with gifts, although our social circle is wonderfully generous. So, we'll even put, "Dude. Don't bring any presents. We seriously have so much stuff. In fact, *take* something."
Why not throw it after the baby is born? Well, because we'll have a newborn and a toddler on our hands. After Madeline was born, all 'entertaining' pretty much stopped for a good 3 months. By the time we come out of Newborn Crazy Land...well, we'll probably have another BBQ by that time.
Many of you sound so dang stuck up I can't handle it. "In myyyyy circle, we would never do such a thing!" LOL Do whatever you want girl, babies (first, second, third or 13th) are a thing to be celebrated
Many of you sound so dang stuck up I can't handle it. "In myyyyy circle, we would never do such a thing!" LOL Do whatever you want girl, babies (first, second, third or 13th) are a thing to be celebrated
Huh...being considerate of how you treat the ones who love you and are spending money on you is stuck up?
I have never been to a shower for a subsequent child or heard of somebody doing this as its insanely tacky . A friend of a friends house burned down a few years ago and a large group of local women including myself surprised her with lots of necessities for her 5 month old baby and 3 year old. We had it at the local community center and that's about as close to a second shower that I've ever come across.
Many of you sound so dang stuck up I can't handle it. "In myyyyy circle, we would never do such a thing!" LOL Do whatever you want girl, babies (first, second, third or 13th) are a thing to be celebrated
In the south lots of families have subsequent baby showers! I am happy to go and celebrate too as I have been to several and never considered it tacky. There will be seven years between my first and this baby so I have had several family members say they want a party! Even my daughter asked if we could have a baby shower for her little brother or sister. She has gone to a few with me and had so much fun. I guess after trying for so long and enduring 2 losses I am more than happy to celebrate this sweet little life! We will probably do the family bbq idea... to make it low key and fun.
I don't know, I'm torn. We are most definitely the entertainers of the group. We have BBQs and sushi nights and football nights. For everything, all the time. Nothing is ever expected of our guests/friends/family. So much so, that we threw a BBQ for my daughter's first birthday. What *I* thought was a simple Madeline-themed BBQ. Like a regular BBQ, with a smash cake. I was actually surprised that everyone brought gifts for her. Honestly. I was expecting her grandparents and aunts to bring her something to be opened later. Nope. I was entertaining/taking care of Madeline and I look and there's this whole corner full of presents.
I say that because...Would it be totally wrong of us to throw a...Kid#2 themed BBQ? If people *want* to bring diapers or wipes...::shrug::...let 'em.
I had my formal baby shower with invitations, decorations, games, cake, the whole nine. I don't need another one of those. But I wouldn't be opposed to a co-ed, lax BBQ. Where the only game would be cornhole. I don't know. I know baby showers are for the *mom* and not the baby, really. But I'd feel guilty if Madeline got all the bells and whistles and Kid #2 got jack squat for their arrival.
Just my .02
What I just don't understand is... if it's not a shower to receive gifts, and if your new baby isn't there (obviously, since he or she isn't born yet), then what does a random BBQ have to do with your unborn baby? And if it's a party honoring the mom-to-be and her future baby, then it's pretty much a shower. I would feel obligated to bring a gift if I were invited. And then in my eyes it would be the worst kind of shower, a shower that a mom is throwing for herself. For a second baby. Agree to disagree and do whatever you are comfortable with, but that's my view on the matter. I'd rather have a small get together for people to meet the baby if I really wanted it to be an event about the baby (and not a shower).
Amanda
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Nov siggy challenge: animals eating Thanksgiving food
In the south lots of families have subsequent baby showers! I am happy to go and celebrate too as I have been to several and never considered it tacky. There will be seven years between my first and this baby so I have had several family members say they want a party! Even my daughter asked if we could have a baby shower for her little brother or sister. She has gone to a few with me and had so much fun. I guess after trying for so long and enduring 2 losses I am more than happy to celebrate this sweet little life! We will probably do the family bbq idea... to make it low key and fun.
For what it's worth, I am from the south, as is my entire family, and nobody has ever done showers after their first. I wouldn't generalize it that way.
Its so odd to me that a baby shower thread could become so controversial! Lol! I just have never experienced anyone judging another mom for having a shower during any pregnancy!
I don't know, I'm torn. We are most definitely the entertainers of the group. We have BBQs and sushi nights and football nights. For everything, all the time. Nothing is ever expected of our guests/friends/family. So much so, that we threw a BBQ for my daughter's first birthday. What *I* thought was a simple Madeline-themed BBQ. Like a regular BBQ, with a smash cake. I was actually surprised that everyone brought gifts for her. Honestly. I was expecting her grandparents and aunts to bring her something to be opened later. Nope. I was entertaining/taking care of Madeline and I look and there's this whole corner full of presents.
I say that because...Would it be totally wrong of us to throw a...Kid#2 themed BBQ? If people *want* to bring diapers or wipes...::shrug::...let 'em.
I had my formal baby shower with invitations, decorations, games, cake, the whole nine. I don't need another one of those. But I wouldn't be opposed to a co-ed, lax BBQ. Where the only game would be cornhole. I don't know. I know baby showers are for the *mom* and not the baby, really. But I'd feel guilty if Madeline got all the bells and whistles and Kid #2 got jack squat for their arrival.
Just my .02
What I just don't understand is... if it's not a shower to receive gifts, and if your new baby isn't there (obviously, since he or she isn't born yet), then what does a random BBQ have to do with your unborn baby? And if it's a party honoring the mom-to-be and her future baby, then it's pretty much a shower. I would feel obligated to bring a gift if I were invited. And then in my eyes it would be the worst kind of shower, a shower that a mom is throwing for herself. For a second baby. Agree to disagree and do whatever you are comfortable with, but that's my view on the matter. I'd rather have a small get together for people to meet the baby if I really wanted it to be an event about the baby (and not a shower).
Meh. Like I tried to explain: Having a BBQ for Kid #2, in my honest-to-goodness opinion, has nothing to do with receiving gifts. We would make every mention to "please, don't bring any gifts. We have everything we need." etc, etc. I'm sure people would bring gifts (but they would, regardless of BBQ or not, hence the diapers and wipes comment.), but that's honestly not my intention, and we would do our letter best to make sure people understood that presents were not expected. We'll put it in the title. I don't know. I honestly think our group of friends would understand our wanting to throw a lax BBQ. And I doubt any of them would think any less of us for wanting to celebrate our second baby, albeit in a much-less present-oriented way than for our first.
Its so odd to me that a baby shower thread could become so controversial! Lol! I just have never experienced anyone judging another mom for having a shower during any pregnancy!
I don't know, I'm torn. We are most definitely the entertainers of the group. We have BBQs and sushi nights and football nights. For everything, all the time. Nothing is ever expected of our guests/friends/family. So much so, that we threw a BBQ for my daughter's first birthday. What *I* thought was a simple Madeline-themed BBQ. Like a regular BBQ, with a smash cake. I was actually surprised that everyone brought gifts for her. Honestly. I was expecting her grandparents and aunts to bring her something to be opened later. Nope. I was entertaining/taking care of Madeline and I look and there's this whole corner full of presents.
I say that because...Would it be totally wrong of us to throw a...Kid#2 themed BBQ? If people *want* to bring diapers or wipes...::shrug::...let 'em.
I had my formal baby shower with invitations, decorations, games, cake, the whole nine. I don't need another one of those. But I wouldn't be opposed to a co-ed, lax BBQ. Where the only game would be cornhole. I don't know. I know baby showers are for the *mom* and not the baby, really. But I'd feel guilty if Madeline got all the bells and whistles and Kid #2 got jack squat for their arrival.
Just my .02
What I just don't understand is... if it's not a shower to receive gifts, and if your new baby isn't there (obviously, since he or she isn't born yet), then what does a random BBQ have to do with your unborn baby? And if it's a party honoring the mom-to-be and her future baby, then it's pretty much a shower. I would feel obligated to bring a gift if I were invited. And then in my eyes it would be the worst kind of shower, a shower that a mom is throwing for herself. For a second baby. Agree to disagree and do whatever you are comfortable with, but that's my view on the matter. I'd rather have a small get together for people to meet the baby if I really wanted it to be an event about the baby (and not a shower).
Meh. Like I tried to explain: Having a BBQ for Kid #2, in my honest-to-goodness opinion, has nothing to do with receiving gifts. We would make every mention to "please, don't bring any gifts. We have everything we need." etc, etc. I'm sure people would bring gifts (but they would, regardless of BBQ or not, hence the diapers and wipes comment.), but that's honestly not my intention, and we would do our letter best to make sure people understood that presents were not expected. We'll put it in the title. I don't know. I honestly think our group of friends would understand our wanting to throw a lax BBQ. And I doubt any of them would think any less of us for wanting to celebrate our second baby, albeit in a much-less present-oriented way than for our first.
This whole thing confuses me. You want to have a BBQ in celebration of unborn baby #2 because your friends brought gifts to your daughters first birthday? Those are two totally different types of events and I'm pretty sure the same thing will happen for baby #2s first birthday. If you want to have a BBQ a because you like to entertain, tell your friends your having a BBQ so you get to see everyone before things get too crazy. No formal invites, no don't bring us gifts (because we really would rather have diapers and wipes). If you do formal invites, guess what you're throwing yourself a shower
I don't know, I'm torn. We are most definitely the entertainers of the group. We have BBQs and sushi nights and football nights. For everything, all the time. Nothing is ever expected of our guests/friends/family. So much so, that we threw a BBQ for my daughter's first birthday. What *I* thought was a simple Madeline-themed BBQ. Like a regular BBQ, with a smash cake. I was actually surprised that everyone brought gifts for her. Honestly. I was expecting her grandparents and aunts to bring her something to be opened later. Nope. I was entertaining/taking care of Madeline and I look and there's this whole corner full of presents.
I say that because...Would it be totally wrong of us to throw a...Kid#2 themed BBQ? If people *want* to bring diapers or wipes...::shrug::...let 'em.
I had my formal baby shower with invitations, decorations, games, cake, the whole nine. I don't need another one of those. But I wouldn't be opposed to a co-ed, lax BBQ. Where the only game would be cornhole. I don't know. I know baby showers are for the *mom* and not the baby, really. But I'd feel guilty if Madeline got all the bells and whistles and Kid #2 got jack squat for their arrival.
Just my .02
What I just don't understand is... if it's not a shower to receive gifts, and if your new baby isn't there (obviously, since he or she isn't born yet), then what does a random BBQ have to do with your unborn baby? And if it's a party honoring the mom-to-be and her future baby, then it's pretty much a shower. I would feel obligated to bring a gift if I were invited. And then in my eyes it would be the worst kind of shower, a shower that a mom is throwing for herself. For a second baby. Agree to disagree and do whatever you are comfortable with, but that's my view on the matter. I'd rather have a small get together for people to meet the baby if I really wanted it to be an event about the baby (and not a shower).
Meh. Like I tried to explain: Having a BBQ for Kid #2, in my honest-to-goodness opinion, has nothing to do with receiving gifts. We would make every mention to "please, don't bring any gifts. We have everything we need." etc, etc. I'm sure people would bring gifts (but they would, regardless of BBQ or not, hence the diapers and wipes comment.), but that's honestly not my intention, and we would do our letter best to make sure people understood that presents were not expected. We'll put it in the title. I don't know. I honestly think our group of friends would understand our wanting to throw a lax BBQ. And I doubt any of them would think any less of us for wanting to celebrate our second baby, albeit in a much-less present-oriented way than for our first.
This whole thing confuses me. You want to have a BBQ in celebration of unborn baby #2 because your friends brought gifts to your daughters first birthday? Those are two totally different types of events and I'm pretty sure the same thing will happen for baby #2s first birthday. If you want to have a BBQ a because you like to entertain, tell your friends your having a BBQ so you get to see everyone before things get too crazy. No formal invites, no don't bring us gifts (because we really would rather have diapers and wipes). If you do formal invites, guess what you're throwing yourself a shower
This.
Why not just have a BBQ. Don't mention baby, or gifts (even to say no gifts). If it celebrates your pregnancy or baby to be, it's going to be perceived as a shower. And even if you say no gifts, your guests might feel obligated anyway.
I guess I just find it all confusing. I've never needed an excuse to have a BBQ.
I don't know, I'm torn. We are most definitely the entertainers of the group. We have BBQs and sushi nights and football nights. For everything, all the time. Nothing is ever expected of our guests/friends/family. So much so, that we threw a BBQ for my daughter's first birthday. What *I* thought was a simple Madeline-themed BBQ. Like a regular BBQ, with a smash cake. I was actually surprised that everyone brought gifts for her. Honestly. I was expecting her grandparents and aunts to bring her something to be opened later. Nope. I was entertaining/taking care of Madeline and I look and there's this whole corner full of presents.
I say that because...Would it be totally wrong of us to throw a...Kid#2 themed BBQ? If people *want* to bring diapers or wipes...::shrug::...let 'em.
I had my formal baby shower with invitations, decorations, games, cake, the whole nine. I don't need another one of those. But I wouldn't be opposed to a co-ed, lax BBQ. Where the only game would be cornhole. I don't know. I know baby showers are for the *mom* and not the baby, really. But I'd feel guilty if Madeline got all the bells and whistles and Kid #2 got jack squat for their arrival.
Just my .02
What I just don't understand is... if it's not a shower to receive gifts, and if your new baby isn't there (obviously, since he or she isn't born yet), then what does a random BBQ have to do with your unborn baby? And if it's a party honoring the mom-to-be and her future baby, then it's pretty much a shower. I would feel obligated to bring a gift if I were invited. And then in my eyes it would be the worst kind of shower, a shower that a mom is throwing for herself. For a second baby. Agree to disagree and do whatever you are comfortable with, but that's my view on the matter. I'd rather have a small get together for people to meet the baby if I really wanted it to be an event about the baby (and not a shower).
Meh. Like I tried to explain: Having a BBQ for Kid #2, in my honest-to-goodness opinion, has nothing to do with receiving gifts. We would make every mention to "please, don't bring any gifts. We have everything we need." etc, etc. I'm sure people would bring gifts (but they would, regardless of BBQ or not, hence the diapers and wipes comment.), but that's honestly not my intention, and we would do our letter best to make sure people understood that presents were not expected. We'll put it in the title. I don't know. I honestly think our group of friends would understand our wanting to throw a lax BBQ. And I doubt any of them would think any less of us for wanting to celebrate our second baby, albeit in a much-less present-oriented way than for our first.
This whole thing confuses me. You want to have a BBQ in celebration of unborn baby #2 because your friends brought gifts to your daughters first birthday? Those are two totally different types of events and I'm pretty sure the same thing will happen for baby #2s first birthday. If you want to have a BBQ a because you like to entertain, tell your friends your having a BBQ so you get to see everyone before things get too crazy. No formal invites, no don't bring us gifts (because we really would rather have diapers and wipes). If you do formal invites, guess what you're throwing yourself a shower
This.
Why not just have a BBQ. Don't mention baby, or gifts (even to say no gifts). If it celebrates your pregnancy or baby to be, it's going to be perceived as a shower. And even if you say no gifts, your guests might feel obligated anyway.
I guess I just find it all confusing. I've never needed an excuse to have a BBQ.
With my family and friends we have a shower for every baby!!! We are all excited to get something special for the little ones.... My sister will be throwing me one for this baby #2 but it will be much smaller scale. There's no need for big presents but it's fun to get a cute little onesie and new blanket.
And I do not think it is necessary to register, but by all means have a shower with your family and friends if that is what yall want to do!!
With my family and friends we have a shower for every baby!!! We are all excited to get something special for the little ones.... My sister will be throwing me one for this baby #2 but it will be much smaller scale. There's no need for big presents but it's fun to get a cute little onesie and new blanket.
And I do not think it is necessary to register, but by all means have a shower with your family and friends if that is what yall want to do!!
Amanda
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Nov siggy challenge: animals eating Thanksgiving food
Question for non first time moms. I had a shower for #1. Also had a shower for #2. My disclaimer is that they are 9 years apart in age. I skipped with number 3 as my choice and work friends are pushing to have one for this baby. I need literally nothing. A dear friend is passing down all her clothes from her baby. My youngest although is a girl and this baby is a boy, I have everything...car seat, stroller, crib everything. I don't want a shower I'm not a fan of having them for me anyway I'm not the center of attention kind of gal and it's #4 just feels so inappropriate and unnecessary. How do I get out of this??
Question for non first time moms. I had a shower for #1. Also had a shower for #2. My disclaimer is that they are 9 years apart in age. I skipped with number 3 as my choice and work friends are pushing to have one for this baby. I need literally nothing. A dear friend is passing down all her clothes from her baby. My youngest although is a girl and this baby is a boy, I have everything...car seat, stroller, crib everything. I don't want a shower I'm not a fan of having them for me anyway I'm not the center of attention kind of gal and it's #4 just feels so inappropriate and unnecessary. How do I get out of this??
Question for non first time moms. I had a shower for #1. Also had a shower for #2. My disclaimer is that they are 9 years apart in age. I skipped with number 3 as my choice and work friends are pushing to have one for this baby. I need literally nothing. A dear friend is passing down all her clothes from her baby. My youngest although is a girl and this baby is a boy, I have everything...car seat, stroller, crib everything. I don't want a shower I'm not a fan of having them for me anyway I'm not the center of attention kind of gal and it's #4 just feels so inappropriate and unnecessary. How do I get out of this??
If they are your colleagues, and you have already explained your situation to them and that you have everything you need, I am going to assume they just want to give you some diapers, wipes, and baby clothes... I would just let them have a little lunchtime celebration to appease them.
Question for non first time moms. I had a shower for #1. Also had a shower for #2. My disclaimer is that they are 9 years apart in age. I skipped with number 3 as my choice and work friends are pushing to have one for this baby. I need literally nothing. A dear friend is passing down all her clothes from her baby. My youngest although is a girl and this baby is a boy, I have everything...car seat, stroller, crib everything. I don't want a shower I'm not a fan of having them for me anyway I'm not the center of attention kind of gal and it's #4 just feels so inappropriate and unnecessary. How do I get out of this??
"Thank you so much, but I don't want a shower."
This exactly! I have said these same sentiments to multiple friends this pregnancy. Straight and to the point.
@emgee27@Goldsgirl9 I said that to them and they said too bad it's happening it will be fun just get over it. So..... I may not have a choice. I may be doing just that @Missingchampagne thanks ladies
Re: Shower Again?
I never understood the mother only aspect of baby showers. A lot of people I know are now doing showers with both moms and dads and both genders coming to the shower, I think that's great. We want dads to be involved in parenting they should get celebrated from the beginning too.
Just my opinion. As with most things, I think you should do what you want/what works for you.
On the flip side I know people who have showers for every child and I'm the odd one for thinking its taboo or gift grabby.
It's also common in South Florida to charge people for attending your shower (be it baby or bridal) in addition to registering for a gift. You better believe I do not attend such showers.
Birthday parties are not gift giving events, although many choose to brig a gift. By definition, any kind of shower is to "shower the guest of honor with gifts." That's not the same as a birthday party.
I say that because...Would it be totally wrong of us to throw a...Kid#2 themed BBQ? If people *want* to bring diapers or wipes...::shrug::...let 'em.
I had my formal baby shower with invitations, decorations, games, cake, the whole nine. I don't need another one of those. But I wouldn't be opposed to a co-ed, lax BBQ. Where the only game would be cornhole. I don't know. I know baby showers are for the *mom* and not the baby, really. But I'd feel guilty if Madeline got all the bells and whistles and Kid #2 got jack squat for their arrival.
Just my .02
I don't see anything wrong with having a party before the baby (though I definitely prefer parties where baby is present) I just object to having subsequent showers. Showers denote gifts, if it's not about gifts, don't use the word shower, keep the whole baby thing minimal, and just have a party.
I don't see anything wrong with having a party before the baby (though I definitely prefer parties where baby is present) I just object to having subsequent showers. Showers denote gifts, if it's not about gifts, don't use the word shower, keep the whole baby thing minimal, and just have a party.
Me too! I've never visited a mom friend with a new baby empty handed, ever! No matter what number baby. I think for some reason people on these boards are super anti second baby shower. Like to get stuck in semantics and say a shower is for gift giving but a birthday party isn't? Come on. Even birthday parties that say "absolutely no presents" have presents brought.
I think if someone offers to throw a party for your new baby, then you should celebrate that baby! Call it a baby party instead of a shower if you don't want to offend the women on these boards lol!
I think if someone offers to throw a party for your new baby, then you should celebrate that baby! Call it a baby party instead of a shower if you don't want to offend the women on these boards lol!
For me, the difference between a shower and a birthday party is the child itself. Shower gifts are more based on the parents taste and what might be useful to them , whereas once birthday gifts are applicable, the child starts to show some individuality and the gift is for the child.
I get that women shouldn't have a big extravagant, traditional baby shower for every baby, but to suggest that any pre-baby party invitation should explicitly refrain from even mentioning the word "baby" is absurd.
Sure, I guess... go ahead and have a party if you MUST, but know that in doing so, some strangers on the internet will consider you a selfish, attention-hungry, gift-grabbing pariah. And for goodness sake, whatever you do, don't mention the words BABY, or PREGNANT, or FUN anywhere on the invitations! In fact, don't even tell anyone that you're pregnant, not EVERYTHING is about YOU.
I vote no, for all of the reasons stated above. I can understand sprinkles for parents that have many years between children, but even then, it's questionable.
Ah, yes. In order to...commemorate the arrival of...the month of April...? And any events that might happen in that month...? You are invited to a...social gathering.
Here's my deal: I would consider honestly throwing...ourselves and Kid#2 this BBQ because I want for our friends and family to gather and celebrate this new addition to our family. That's it. It has *nothing* to do with gifts, although our social circle is wonderfully generous. So, we'll even put, "Dude. Don't bring any presents. We seriously have so much stuff. In fact, *take* something."
Why not throw it after the baby is born? Well, because we'll have a newborn and a toddler on our hands. After Madeline was born, all 'entertaining' pretty much stopped for a good 3 months. By the time we come out of Newborn Crazy Land...well, we'll probably have another BBQ by that time.
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Nov siggy challenge: animals eating Thanksgiving food
Rhys - born 04.17.2013
Harry - born 04.18.2016
This whole thing confuses me. You want to have a BBQ in celebration of unborn baby #2 because your friends brought gifts to your daughters first birthday? Those are two totally different types of events and I'm pretty sure the same thing will happen for baby #2s first birthday. If you want to have a BBQ a because you like to entertain, tell your friends your having a BBQ so you get to see everyone before things get too crazy. No formal invites, no don't bring us gifts (because we really would rather have diapers and wipes). If you do formal invites, guess what you're throwing yourself a shower
This whole thing confuses me. You want to have a BBQ in celebration of unborn baby #2 because your friends brought gifts to your daughters first birthday? Those are two totally different types of events and I'm pretty sure the same thing will happen for baby #2s first birthday. If you want to have a BBQ a because you like to entertain, tell your friends your having a BBQ so you get to see everyone before things get too crazy. No formal invites, no don't bring us gifts (because we really would rather have diapers and wipes). If you do formal invites, guess what you're throwing yourself a shower
This.
Why not just have a BBQ. Don't mention baby, or gifts (even to say no gifts). If it celebrates your pregnancy or baby to be, it's going to be perceived as a shower. And even if you say no gifts, your guests might feel obligated anyway.
I guess I just find it all confusing. I've never needed an excuse to have a BBQ.
And I do not think it is necessary to register, but by all means have a shower with your family and friends if that is what yall want to do!!
******************************
Nov siggy challenge: animals eating Thanksgiving food
Rhys - born 04.17.2013
Harry - born 04.18.2016