Can the father help with a baby shower? — The Bump
Baby Showers

Can the father help with a baby shower?

We are 28 weeks pregnant and had zero interest from my family in planning a baby shower. My husband decided to get the ball rolling and started creating invitations and organizing a shower for me. When my family found out he was trying to set one up they became outraged that he was doing it. They said a man had no place being involved, and a shower is for the mother not for the couple. He is now upset that he took the time to try to do something nice for me, and my family just came in and kicked him out of the planning. I also was told he shouldn't have any influence in the guest list or the items on the registry. We are just wondering if this is right or if it's fair to exclude him and his guy friends entirely from the shower.

Re: Can the father help with a baby shower?

  • Agree with PPs.  

    If someone in your family does end up hosting one, they will determine whether or not it's co-ed and most likely not because they want to exclude your DH but because having co-ed showers increases the guest list, which increases the cost of the shower.  Since the host is the one who is paying for it, if they cannot afford to invite extra guests to make it a co-ed shower, then it can't be that way.  

    I see no problem with him being involved in the registry.  The items you want for your child are items you both wish to have so it's fine for him to have a say.
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    edited September 2015
    ralphrcr said:

    We are 28 weeks pregnant and had zero interest from my family in planning a baby shower. My husband decided to get the ball rolling and started creating invitations and organizing a shower for me. When my family found out he was trying to set one up they became outraged that he was doing it. They said a man had no place being involved, and a shower is for the mother not for the couple. He is now upset that he took the time to try to do something nice for me, and my family just came in and kicked him out of the planning. I also was told he shouldn't have any influence in the guest list or the items on the registry. We are just wondering if this is right or if it's fair to exclude him and his guy friends entirely from the shower.

    Echoing what PPs have said - your husband should not be planning a shower because that's basically the same thing as YOU hosting a shower for yourself. Showers are gift giving events, and it is in really bad taste to throw a party where you are asking your friends and family to bring you gifts. Parties before the baby is born are meant to celebrate mom/the parents. Parties after baby is born are for celebrating the baby.

    The offer of hosting a shower is a gift in itself, and as mentioned above, if nobody offers to host a shower for you then a shower is off the table. It's okay, a lot of people don't have showers. Mom and Dad are the only ones that are responsible for buying the necessities anyway.

    There's no reason why your husband can't help you with the registry though, as it's basically a checklist of things that you need to buy before the baby arrives.
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