@FunnyGal18 - I'm sorry you're going through such difficulties with your cat. I've been there and can understand the frustration. Different people have different views on pets- some think they're members of the family and treat them like people, and the fact that you and your husband have differing views brings more stress to the situation. Just so you know, I'm with you- I love animals but believe they are not human level status and there sometimes comes a point whether it's financial or physical or mental health where it doesn't make sense to keep them. There are some that will vilify you for that decision and that's just the way it is. Good luck!
@FunnyGal18 - I'm sorry you're going through such difficulties with your cat. I've been there and can understand the frustration. Different people have different views on pets- some think they're members of the family and treat them like people, and the fact that you and your husband have differing views brings more stress to the situation. Just so you know, I'm with you- I love animals but believe they are not human level status and there sometimes comes a point whether it's financial or physical or mental health where it doesn't make sense to keep them. There are some that will vilify you for that decision and that's just the way it is. Good luck!
Thank you. That's very sweet and compassionate of you to say.
I kinda get people loving their pets a lot but idk how I'm going to handle 3 babies.
Our budget is extremely tight right now. We are keeping him until he passes bc he is an old rescue cat who was abused by children (we think). I just can't have the babies around him bc the other day he clawed my 3 yr old nephew and my son. Small children scare him bc of his past abuse. Cant declaw him bc hes too old. Don't even get me started on fleas. The bright side is that my husband agreed to no more pets in the house after this cat.
I'm so emotional that I'm crying every day. I just want to have a clean and peaceful house. Ugh. Hormones.
Did your husband have him before you met? If so, it's not like the cat comes as a surprise. It may not be a human, but it's a sentient being and doesn't deserve to be treated as something disposable just because it's no longer convenient for you.
Different strokes, I guess. Getting rid of one of our pets just wouldn't even be an option - for me or my husband. Not even on the table unless it was something seriously life threatening.
Different strokes, I guess. Getting rid of one of our pets just wouldn't even be an option - for me or my husband. Not even on the table unless it was something seriously life threatening.
Agreed
Feb '16 Siggy Challenge: Favorite Thing About Fall: Haunted Houses and Scary Movies!
It all depends. If my son and my oldest dog were drowning and I could only save one, no question, my son. But let's say my son turned out to be allergic to dogs? I would try everything including allergy shots or medication before I even consider sending my dogs to live with my parents or anywhere else. Also poor but predictable pet behaviors like poor potty training or shedding aren't legitimate reasons to get rid of a pet. Ever.
@FunnyGal18 - I just thought of something that you're probably aware of but I'll mention it just in case. Be very careful around flea medication while pregnant. I don't know all the particulars but it can be dangerous. On the other hand, a less likely risk is that fleas can carry diseases....
@FunnyGal18 - I just thought of something that you're probably aware of but I'll mention it just in case. Be very careful around flea medication while pregnant. I don't know all the particulars but it can be dangerous. On the other hand, a less likely risk is that fleas can carry diseases....
Cats can be bathed at home or sent to the groomers. So there are other ways to control a flea outbreak. Also cat flea medication is highly regulated and there are no risks to pregnant women who come in contact or use it.
ETA: I'm specifically talking about cat flea meds. They're formulated differently because cats groom themselves. So whatever is used has to be safe for the cat to ingest.
Different strokes, I guess. Getting rid of one of our pets just wouldn't even be an option - for me or my husband. Not even on the table unless it was something seriously life threatening.
We only have one pet, a kitten, and we're having issues with him peeing in our son's toy box. We're working on fixing the problem and for right now he's isolated to another part of the house. We love him and we're going to keep him, obviously. But my son is more important. If we couldn't resolve the issue, or something else came up that we couldn't deal with- if he were hurting my child, for example... it would be more important to me to rehome the kitten to a house without a toddler, somewhere he could get more attention and be less stressed and anxious and prone to hurting people or ruining things. My son staying safe and healthy and not having his toys ruined on a daily basis is more important than keeping my cat in my house. Besides, is it worth keeping him if he's stuck alone all the time because he can't be trusted? If that's a UO, so be it. An animal is an animal, not a human being. My kids will always be my priority by far.
I think choosing an animal over a human is just ridiculous. It also doesn't have to be an all or nothing choice. If you have a life circumstance where you can't keep an animal, it doesn't mean that animal dies. Would you really chose a pet over your husband, the father of your child? When your child asks where daddy went, are you going to say, we couldn't agree about keeping Fido so I kicked daddy out?
I do think pet owners need to be responsible and long term. Also, if you have to rehome a pet, you really need to search for a forever home and not dump them at a shelter. But I would never chose an animal over a human.
Feb 2016 Siggy Challenge, Favorite Thing About Fall
I understand the whole animal over human debate . But I could never rehome my dogs because of my child. I would keep working on finding a solution. Like @Monkeybutt80 , I would try everything! The bond is unbreakable unfortunately. We're a family unit . I guess weird to some people but our dogs were there for us during our infertility struggles, they helped me deal with the anxiety and the stress of it all. They were our happiness and joy during those years of failure after failure . They're my babies and no human child of mine can change that ..Flame away..:D
I understand the whole animal over human debate . But I could never rehome my dogs because of my child. I would keep working on finding a solution. Like @Monkeybutt80 , I would try everything! The bond is unbreakable unfortunately. We're a family unit . I guess weird to some people but our dogs were there for us during our infertility struggles, they helped me deal with the anxiety and the stress of it all. They were our happiness and joy during those years of failure after failure . They're my babies and no human child of mine can change that ..Flame away..:D
I completely understand your pets being like family and that you would work really hard to keep them. Can you really say never though? What if your animals constantly attack your children. You can try and keep them separated but it would be impossible once the children are older. Or what if your child is extremely allergic. I really can't see any person choosing to keep an animal over their child. Maybe you compromise and can find a family member to take your dogs so you can visit but in the end, you have to choose the human over the pet.
Feb 2016 Siggy Challenge, Favorite Thing About Fall
I understand the whole animal over human debate . But I could never rehome my dogs because of my child. I would keep working on finding a solution. Like @Monkeybutt80 , I would try everything! The bond is unbreakable unfortunately. We're a family unit . I guess weird to some people but our dogs were there for us during our infertility struggles, they helped me deal with the anxiety and the stress of it all. They were our happiness and joy during those years of failure after failure . They're my babies and no human child of mine can change that ..Flame away..:D
I completely understand your pets being like family and that you would work really hard to keep them. Can you really say never though? What if your animals constantly attack your children. You can try and keep them separated but it would be impossible once the children are older. Or what if your child is extremely allergic. I really can't see any person choosing to keep an animal over their child. Maybe you compromise and can find a family member to take your dogs so you can visit but in the end, you have to choose the human over the pet.
I'm with you @noelbird. I get the argument, I get how important it is to do what you can to keep your animals, and I understand them being part of your family. I have respect for people who fight to keep their pets in difficult circumstances. But never is such a strong word. And I really just can't wrap my head around them having equal importance to a human child.
I can say NEVER because I know my dogs well enough to know that they're trained impeccably. An allergic child is a silly excuse to rehome a dog especially with all the advances in modern medicine. Having pets early also decreases that risk, so I highly doubt my child will be allergic. I understand that you'd chose your child over your animals but you have to understand not everyone can or will. Two of my dogs are rescues. I promised them that I would never abandon them and I'll keep that promise. I hope that explains my " never" @NoelBird.
I can say NEVER because I know my dogs well enough to know that they're trained impeccably. An allergic child is a silly excuse to rehome a dog especially with all the advances in modern medicine. Having pets early also decreases that risk, so I highly doubt my child will be allergic. I understand that you'd chose your child over your animals but you have to understand not everyone can or will. Two of my dogs are rescues. I promised them that I would never abandon them and I'll keep that promise. I hope that explains my " never" @NoelBird.
It's great that your dogs are well trained and you guys have a great bond. I think it adds a lot of value to have this in your and your child's life. I would never wish for someone to be forced to choose, I think it would be extremely hard and something you would think about for a long time in the future.
I also think that it would be rare for there to not be a compromise or option to make it work. I think a lot of people give up too early/easily when they could have found a solution. But in the end, I do believe there are circumstances where that hard decision is necessarily so I guess we will respectfully disagree
Feb 2016 Siggy Challenge, Favorite Thing About Fall
I should save this for FFFC but we did rehome our dog because my son is allergic. I wanted to do everything I could to make him comfortable in his own home. He has asthma along with those allergies, and it causes him to have coughing fits when he gets a cold or comes into contact with allergens. It affected all of our sleep, and it's not healthy for a child to not get enough sleep. Medicine only goes so far, and I want to avoid meds where necessary because they are not side-effect free. Shots weren't an option because I'm not going to subject a 2 year old to weekly injections. Also, our dr explained that not controlling his symptoms now can make them worse later on. I don't regret our decision one bit. I chose the health and well being of my child over my dog and I think it's ridiculous that anyone would think I made the wrong decision.
I should save this for FFFC but we did rehome our dog because my son is allergic. I wanted to do everything I could to make him comfortable in his own home. He has asthma along with those allergies, and it causes him to have coughing fits when he gets a cold or comes into contact with allergens. It affected all of our sleep, and it's not healthy for a child to not get enough sleep. Medicine only goes so far, and I want to avoid meds where necessary because they are not side-effect free. Shots weren't an option because I'm not going to subject a 2 year old to weekly injections.
Also, our dr explained that not controlling his symptoms now can make them worse later on.
I don't regret our decision one bit. I chose the health and well being of my child over my dog and I think it's ridiculous that anyone would think I made the wrong decision.
That must have been hard. I would have made the same decision.
@NoelBird , I do agree that there are situations ie (agression, incurable allergies) that do warrant a dog being rehomed. I just feel that people shouldn't tell me how I should feel for my dogs and where I should place them on importance levels to be a good mother. We all love differently and are attached to different things. I just don't see why caring equally for the welfare of my child and my animals is wrong.
@notasycophant - I'm going to assume that you don't really mean you care equally for your pets as you do for your child. To me that means if there was some horrible tragedy and you could only save one of them, you'd have a hard time choosing. I know that's totally hypothetical but that's the only example I can think of right now.
@adventuremama hopefully it's not a uti (or maybe hope it is so it's fixable). We are currently battling a uti with one of our cats (she gets chronic ones and is on rx food). It's a constant reminder from my husband how much he hates the cats ugh.
@notasycophant - I'm going to assume that you don't really mean you care equally for your pets as you do for your child. To me that means if there was some horrible tragedy and you could only save one of them, you'd have a hard time choosing. I know that's totally hypothetical but that's the only example I can think of right now.
You gave away your dog. I never condemned your decision and actually agreed that extreme allergies were grounds to rehome. Why you felt the need to take my words and throw at me a idiotic hypothetical example is beyond me. I love my dogs, they've been my family and sanity. For 4 1/2 gruelling years they've sat by me while I've injected myself countlessly, cheered me up during bouts of despair and depression after miscarriages, all while I've yearned for a child. I find it unfair and totally disrespectful for you to force me to choose especially when I've clearly stated above that I will not. ETA: I've said that I see both sides of the argument. But I truly dislike what you're trying to imply. Extremely insensitive in my opinion.
I think we are all saying similar things just in different degrees. Everyone understands that pets can be like family to some, no one here is picking their pet children over their human children. We all agree that some life threatening, serious situation could potentially arise where the family has no choice but to rehome.
But for some like @notasycophant and myself, we know our pets, and we feel confident enough to say that we could let our pets live out their short lives with us, where they belong regardless of what reasonably foreseeable thing may happen in the future.
My dogs are 11 and 10 years old. One has hypothyroism, is diabetic and pretty much blind despite double glaucoma surgery. His maintenance medicine costs a decent amount every month not to mention time. If I put him in a shelter, he'd be euthanized. Most shelters probably won't even take him. That dog has been with me for 11 years and knows no other family. So, Yes, I cannot think of any plausible future scenario that would force me to give up my dog during the handful of years that's left of his life. So I can say with confidence that I'll never give up my dogs.
If i remember correctly, this topic of UO was posted in part as a response to a poster talking about rehoming a pet because of its hair, fleas or potty training issues ( or something similar). And I think most here are agreeing that those aren't sufficient reasons to toss a pet. I'm not sure how we went from there to pet children v. Human children.
I love my 9 year old dog Clementine more than most things and a few years ago I would have said I would never give her up under any circumstances, but now I understand it is sometimes reasonable and necessary to get rid of pet for your child.
My brother's son Alex has horrible allergies to a lot of things, but especially cats (even though he was exposed to a lot of animals while young...). The doctor said that having a cat in the house while Alex was struggling with all kinds of allergies and breathing issues was not a good situation. He explained it as Alex's cup being half full all the time because of being around the cat. So, if he was exposed to something he was only mildly allergic to then his cup would run over more easily and Alex would have a more major reaction than necessary. Also, with Alex's body constantly fighting against the cat allergy his immune system was suppressed making him more vulnerable. My brother loved his 10 year old cat more than I've ever seen a man love a cat and he cried a lot, but there was no doubt he was going to find a new home for him after that.
My sister adopted a dog a few years ago and her two preteen kids were way to rough with it. They kept getting in the dog's face and surprising her while she was sleeping. She finally got to the point where she started biting them and both have needed stitches because of her. So, when my sister brought her newborn home a few months ago we all begged her to find a new home for the dog. It was only a matter of time before the dog bit the baby or did some serious damage to her other kids. I think my sister should have done a better job teaching the kids how to properly play with the dog, but at this point the dog is a biter and you can't untrain that easily.
I had a friend tell me that the best parenting advice she can give is to never say never. So, while I can't imagine ever re-homing Clementine I can't honestly say I would never do it.
I also agree with PPs that rehoming a dog because it is shedding or messy is not really acceptable.
@notasycophant - I'm going to assume that you don't really mean you care equally for your pets as you do for your child.
To me that means if there was some horrible tragedy and you could only save one of them, you'd have a hard time choosing. I know that's totally hypothetical but that's the only example I can think of right now.
You gave away your dog. I never condemned your decision and actually agreed that extreme allergies were grounds to rehome. Why you felt the need to take my words and throw at me a idiotic hypothetical example is beyond me. I love my dogs, they've been my family and sanity. For 4 1/2 gruelling years they've sat by me while I've injected myself countlessly, cheered me up during bouts of despair and depression after miscarriages, all while I've yearned for a child. I find it unfair and totally disrespectful for you to force me to choose especially when I've clearly stated above that I will not.
ETA: I've said that I see both sides of the argument. But I truly dislike what you're trying to imply. Extremely insensitive in my opinion.
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you. What I meant was that you wouldn't chose your pet's life over your child's life and the reason I brought it up was I was confused by the way you worded your post.
Animals are great at bringing down stress levels and helping people heal physically and emotionally. You're fortunate that you've had great dogs by your side through such an ordeal.
"Omg. I love you. My husband's cat is an absolute terror. He won't get rid of it because he claims that it's family. He compares it to my son. My son is well behaved. He doesn't scratch up $10,000 worth of furniture (the furniture that I bought...some of it was new), meow for attention when we are sleeping, get kitty litter all over the house, leave poop for me to step on, leave hair all over everything, and now we have been dealing with fleas since may. I helped buy our new house and he couldn't tell me that his poor animal had fleas before we moved in here?!?!
Im at the end of my rope here. "
In response to getting rid of an animal, I would have the toughest time doing that because I did have to bottle feed and raise my animals up, they are children, they just have fur. Babies and animals are different in ways yes, but it doesn't make you love them less. Anyways, when an animal is disliked by those it lives with and is no longer happy in the home, as it clearly sounds like this cat is unhappy, it is time to let them go to a better home. You'd put your child's needs first, so why not your pets? I understand why your husband has difficulty in doing so, but you are right. It is time for this kitty to move on to a home where he can be more comfortable and tamed better. It's too hard taming an animal you don't like, they won't ever respect you. It's actually not very selfish that you what the cat to be rehomed. If you were pressuring for him to be put to sleep, well that's just wrong, but you aren't. So as an animal enthusiast who would also probably get rid of the person in a given situation, I think YOU are right! Kitty sounds unhappy, and I can respect your wishes even if they are different than the others. UO is venting time, not time to attack one another. Try presenting it to your husband that it's better for the cat too, it may help.
@adventuremama hopefully it's not a uti (or maybe hope it is so it's fixable). We are currently battling a uti with one of our cats (she gets chronic ones and is on rx food). It's a constant reminder from my husband how much he hates the cats ugh.
@achae: He hasn't been fixed yet, which I think (hope!) is the issue. We've only had him for a little bit now, he was rescued by some friends.
So, I'll share my experience ( sorry it's long) . I'll preface by saying that I'm not saying this is anything similar to some previous posters' situation because my symptoms were mild and I was not a baby.
I begged and begged my parents for a dog when I was 6 or 7 and we got a Yorkshire terrier. He was actually mean to me and we never clicked. He was my parents' dog that basically saw me as a competition. Several years after we got him, when I was in late elementary school, I developed asthma. Not terribly severe but enough to be on inhalers on daily basis. During that diagnosis, they did allergy test where they prick your back and test different allergens. It turned out I was allergic to cats, dogs, along with pollen and dust mites.
I never expected my parents to get rid of our dog; even though we didn't get along, it was understood by all of us that he's part of the family. The allergist initially recommended getting rid of our dog, my parents said that's not an option and that was the end of that discussion. I continued on with asthma treatments and allergy meds. As I got older, my symptoms lessened, and by the time I was graduating high school, I didn't even need inhalers or allergy meds. I wouldn't have done it any other way.
Now I'm still allergic to certain cats ( mostly outdoor cats) and but haven't had any dog allergy issues.
So, when my first was suffering from cold after cold and having oxygen level problems that resulted in two overnight hospitalization ( for oxygen monitoring ) at less than 1 yr old, we spoke with our pediatric pulmonologist about potential allergies and asthma. My husband is not allergic to dogs but his brother and dad are allergic and also asthmatic ( by the way my bil lives with a cat and a dog his wife had prior to marriage - he takes meds). the pediatric pulmonologist said we can't diagnose allergies or asthma that young, not until 2 to 3 yrs old. He said it's possible that he is allergic but they won't diagnose him that young. He didn't recommend getting rid of the dogs and we had started the conversation saying that getting rid of them are not a possibility. He said, keep the dogs out of his room at all times ( which we do) but that in general, kids that are already exposed to cats and dogs from birth at home are less likely to develop allergies ( not always but less likely). Now my 2 yr and 3 months old has occasional cold but nothing as bad as his first year: and no oxygen level issues.
So we are all happy and we still have an intact family.
Maybe that means my parents picked the dog over me. Maybe some of you would have taken that opportunity to get rid of a pet you already were unhappy with. But I don't regret my decision with my child, and I have no regrets or resentment about my parents' decision not to get rid of our dog.
I don't like the new pumpkin spice latte from Starbucks. It's supposed to be better with "real" pumpkin but I don't like it.
(I've only had it iced so far this year. Waiting for cool weather to try it hot)
I don't plan on trying one from Starbucks this year, I used to like them, but the last two years they have tasted gross and I didn't even finish my drink. We have some coffee shops around here with better options.
I personally would take an eggnog latte over PSL any day. Can't wait!
Edit spelling
Ladies--I might be able to help you out with this one. My DH worked at Starbucks for three years while getting another degree. So, I had lots of time to perfect the best fall drink (besides a caramel apple spice). So, I had this yesterday, it was iced but still good: a decaf caramel soy latte with one pump pumpkin spice. It's just enough pumpkin. Try it and let me know!
Ok, so, the comments about the word "bae"...apparently in slang it means "before anyone else" or "baby". In Danish, it means poop. I can't stand the word and think it's completely ridiculous to use and every time I hear it, I automatically think of the Danish definition. Plus, IMO, just say baby, it's only one more letter.
@Miss Lilac - I fully agree! Crybaby Brady should have never been allowed in that game or the next 3.
Ok, so, the comments about the word "bae"...apparently in slang it means "before anyone else" or "baby". In Danish, it means poop.
Just told this to my teenage nieces and nephews this weekend and blew their minds. I told them to think about that next time they say they love bae or write "bae" surrounded by hearts on their Instagrams haha.
Re: UO
Different people have different views on pets- some think they're members of the family and treat them like people, and the fact that you and your husband have differing views brings more stress to the situation.
Just so you know, I'm with you- I love animals but believe they are not human level status and there sometimes comes a point whether it's financial or physical or mental health where it doesn't make sense to keep them. There are some that will vilify you for that decision and that's just the way it is.
Good luck!
I kinda get people loving their pets a lot but idk how I'm going to handle 3 babies.
Our budget is extremely tight right now. We are keeping him until he passes bc he is an old rescue cat who was abused by children (we think). I just can't have the babies around him bc the other day he clawed my 3 yr old nephew and my son. Small children scare him bc of his past abuse. Cant declaw him bc hes too old. Don't even get me started on fleas. The bright side is that my husband agreed to no more pets in the house after this cat.
I'm so emotional that I'm crying every day. I just want to have a clean and peaceful house. Ugh. Hormones.
Call that my unpopular opinion.
But let's say my son turned out to be allergic to dogs? I would try everything including allergy shots or medication before I even consider sending my dogs to live with my parents or anywhere else.
Also poor but predictable pet behaviors like poor potty training or shedding aren't legitimate reasons to get rid of a pet. Ever.
On the other hand, a less likely risk is that fleas can carry diseases....
ETA: I'm specifically talking about cat flea meds. They're formulated differently because cats groom themselves. So whatever is used has to be safe for the cat to ingest.
If that's a UO, so be it. An animal is an animal, not a human being. My kids will always be my priority by far.
Feb 2016 Siggy Challenge, Favorite Thing About Fall
Feb 2016 Siggy Challenge, Favorite Thing About Fall
Feb 2016 Siggy Challenge, Favorite Thing About Fall
Also, our dr explained that not controlling his symptoms now can make them worse later on.
I don't regret our decision one bit. I chose the health and well being of my child over my dog and I think it's ridiculous that anyone would think I made the wrong decision.
edit:grammar
To me that means if there was some horrible tragedy and you could only save one of them, you'd have a hard time choosing. I know that's totally hypothetical but that's the only example I can think of right now.
ETA: I've said that I see both sides of the argument. But I truly dislike what you're trying to imply. Extremely insensitive in my opinion.
But for some like @notasycophant and myself, we know our pets, and we feel confident enough to say that we could let our pets live out their short lives with us, where they belong regardless of what reasonably foreseeable thing may happen in the future.
My dogs are 11 and 10 years old. One has hypothyroism, is diabetic and pretty much blind despite double glaucoma surgery. His maintenance medicine costs a decent amount every month not to mention time. If I put him in a shelter, he'd be euthanized. Most shelters probably won't even take him. That dog has been with me for 11 years and knows no other family. So, Yes, I cannot think of any plausible future scenario that would force me to give up my dog during the handful of years that's left of his life. So I can say with confidence that I'll never give up my dogs.
If i remember correctly, this topic of UO was posted in part as a response to a poster talking about rehoming a pet because of its hair, fleas or potty training issues ( or something similar). And I think most here are agreeing that those aren't sufficient reasons to toss a pet. I'm not sure how we went from there to pet children v. Human children.
My brother's son Alex has horrible allergies to a lot of things, but especially cats (even though he was exposed to a lot of animals while young...). The doctor said that having a cat in the house while Alex was struggling with all kinds of allergies and breathing issues was not a good situation. He explained it as Alex's cup being half full all the time because of being around the cat. So, if he was exposed to something he was only mildly allergic to then his cup would run over more easily and Alex would have a more major reaction than necessary. Also, with Alex's body constantly fighting against the cat allergy his immune system was suppressed making him more vulnerable. My brother loved his 10 year old cat more than I've ever seen a man love a cat and he cried a lot, but there was no doubt he was going to find a new home for him after that.
My sister adopted a dog a few years ago and her two preteen kids were way to rough with it. They kept getting in the dog's face and surprising her while she was sleeping. She finally got to the point where she started biting them and both have needed stitches because of her. So, when my sister brought her newborn home a few months ago we all begged her to find a new home for the dog. It was only a matter of time before the dog bit the baby or did some serious damage to her other kids. I think my sister should have done a better job teaching the kids how to properly play with the dog, but at this point the dog is a biter and you can't untrain that easily.
I had a friend tell me that the best parenting advice she can give is to never say never. So, while I can't imagine ever re-homing Clementine I can't honestly say I would never do it.
I also agree with PPs that rehoming a dog because it is shedding or messy is not really acceptable.
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you. What I meant was that you wouldn't chose your pet's life over your child's life and the reason I brought it up was I was confused by the way you worded your post. Animals are great at bringing down stress levels and helping people heal physically and emotionally. You're fortunate that you've had great dogs by your side through such an ordeal.
Im at the end of my rope here. "
In response to getting rid of an animal, I would have the toughest time doing that because I did have to bottle feed and raise my animals up, they are children, they just have fur. Babies and animals are different in ways yes, but it doesn't make you love them less. Anyways, when an animal is disliked by those it lives with and is no longer happy in the home, as it clearly sounds like this cat is unhappy, it is time to let them go to a better home. You'd put your child's needs first, so why not your pets? I understand why your husband has difficulty in doing so, but you are right. It is time for this kitty to move on to a home where he can be more comfortable and tamed better. It's too hard taming an animal you don't like, they won't ever respect you. It's actually not very selfish that you what the cat to be rehomed. If you were pressuring for him to be put to sleep, well that's just wrong, but you aren't. So as an animal enthusiast who would also probably get rid of the person in a given situation, I think YOU are right! Kitty sounds unhappy, and I can respect your wishes even if they are different than the others. UO is venting time, not time to attack one another. Try presenting it to your husband that it's better for the cat too, it may help.
Edit : I messed up the dang quote thing
Shoot.
I begged and begged my parents for a dog when I was 6 or 7 and we got a Yorkshire terrier. He was actually mean to me and we never clicked. He was my parents' dog that basically saw me as a competition. Several years after we got him, when I was in late elementary school, I developed asthma. Not terribly severe but enough to be on inhalers on daily basis. During that diagnosis, they did allergy test where they prick your back and test different allergens. It turned out I was allergic to cats, dogs, along with pollen and dust mites.
I never expected my parents to get rid of our dog; even though we didn't get along, it was understood by all of us that he's part of the family. The allergist initially recommended getting rid of our dog, my parents said that's not an option and that was the end of that discussion. I continued on with asthma treatments and allergy meds. As I got older, my symptoms lessened, and by the time I was graduating high school, I didn't even need inhalers or allergy meds. I wouldn't have done it any other way.
Now I'm still allergic to certain cats ( mostly outdoor cats) and but haven't had any dog allergy issues.
So, when my first was suffering from cold after cold and having oxygen level problems that resulted in two overnight hospitalization ( for oxygen monitoring ) at less than 1 yr old, we spoke with our pediatric pulmonologist about potential allergies and asthma. My husband is not allergic to dogs but his brother and dad are allergic and also asthmatic ( by the way my bil lives with a cat and a dog his wife had prior to marriage - he takes meds).
the pediatric pulmonologist said we can't diagnose allergies or asthma that young, not until 2 to 3 yrs old. He said it's possible that he is allergic but they won't diagnose him that young. He didn't recommend getting rid of the dogs and we had started the conversation saying that getting rid of them are not a possibility. He said, keep the dogs out of his room at all times ( which we do) but that in general, kids that are already exposed to cats and dogs from birth at home are less likely to develop allergies ( not always but less likely). Now my 2 yr and 3 months old has occasional cold but nothing as bad as his first year: and no oxygen level issues.
So we are all happy and we still have an intact family.
Maybe that means my parents picked the dog over me. Maybe some of you would have taken that opportunity to get rid of a pet you already were unhappy with. But I don't regret my decision with my child, and I have no regrets or resentment about my parents' decision not to get rid of our dog.
@Miss Lilac - I fully agree! Crybaby Brady should have never been allowed in that game or the next 3.