Shower Again?

Kc0825 · September 2015

Hi everyone! I am going to be a second time mom and i was wondering what your thoughts were on having another shower? i was thinking more of having a diaper party since those are the most expensive things over time and we'll use them a lot. Let me know what y'all think! Thanks!

akb1125 · September 2015

I vote no. I'm having my second as well and I picture them just being awkward bc it'll seem like I just want ppl to buy me things.

Ready4theParty · September 2015

I agree no. At least not one with a registry ect. We went to a party thrown by the couples family and it was a diaper party. I question the motives of second time moms who throw their own baby parties.

PeggyOlsonFTW · September 2015

I say no. If people want to give you a gift they will. No need to be asking people to buy you something.

MrsCayEye · September 2015

For me, no. I wouldn't throw a party for myself and DS will only be 2 next month so we don't need anything. If my first child was significantly older and I didn't have my baby stuff anymore, I would be more inclined to agree to someone throwing me a shower if they offered.

TKaiser91 · September 2015

I agree on a no to the shower. I was only thinking of doing another gender reveal party, but now I'm thinking about not findimg out till baby is born so that party wouldnt happen lol

krbjoy · September 2015

I've heard of people having a second shower if they are having a different gender baby than the first. That seems legit.

AliSummer · September 2015

I'm having a shower for my second, but my first was over a decade ago and I didn't have a shower for him. I had a friend who had a "sprinkle" for her second. I thought that was a bit much because her kids were only 2 years apart.

You could invite people visit one-by-one after the baby is born and, if they want to bring gifts then, they can.

JaysensMom · September 2015

I'm having a second baby shower but my son will be 7 in January and isn't my husband's biological kid. This is my husband and my first child together and he really wants to have a shower so we are and I don't really care what other people think lol our parents are talking about throwing it for us

Snoflakes4eva · September 2015

krbjoy said:

I've heard of people having a second shower if they are having a different gender baby than the first. That seems legit.

Because girls can't wear blue??? I have never understood this logic. A swaddle blanket works the same no matter what color.

I vote no.

misstopsail · September 2015

Showers are for first children, and only if someone offers to throw one for you.
The only exception I could think of would be if your second child is many years younger than the first.
Anything else is tacky, IMO, but to each their own.

MamaRoni · September 2015

Well... I have mixed feelings on this. The southerner in me says no... but the party planner in me loves to throw showers for my friends...

imrachellea · September 2015

I will not allow a friend of mine to throw a shower for this LO, as I had 3 for my DD. My work, however, will be doing a shower. It is just what they do for anyone having a baby. Last year they threw a joint shower for a new mom and third time mom. I did not work at the same school with my DD, so this won't be the second shower my school throws me. That I would probably ask them not to do.

erind228 · September 2015

No....if someone wants to get you something they will regardless if you have a shower or not. I think it seems a little gift grabby to have a second one.

sarahufl · September 2015

No shower, and you shouldn't throw it for yourself anyway.

DougalMcG · September 2015

If someone wants to throw you one (and chances are they will) then let them go crazy. I wouldn't throw my own though.

cmerribury · September 2015

My cousin is planning on a small tea party/get-together for a few of our closest friends and family. No gifts though, just a party. We've tried for a while for this baby and had some losses along the way, so they want to celebrate and I'm ok with that. ☺️

brie_and_almonds · September 2015

I will not be having another shower with my family. I still have everything from DD, so we really don't need anything, and I think it's gift-grabby to have a second shower, even if the child is a different sex (I planned ahead for this and got big-ticket items in a "neutral" color since I didn't want to have to buy them again. However, I did not work at the school I work at now with DD, and they like to throw showers for pretty much everything. If they want to throw me a shower for this LO, I won't say no, but if they don't offer, I won't be offended.

careauxlina10t · September 2015

Being from the Deep South, I've seen them done on a smaller scale with a shorter guest list and called a "sprinkle" when a mom is having a baby of a different sex. If it's kept very low key and limited to closest friends and family who were likely to give a gift anyway, I don't think it comes off as too grabby and keeps it classy.

cmjenkies · September 2015

I don't think showers/sprinkles/whatever you want to call them for second/subsequent children hosted by a friend/family member/workplace is necessarily gift grabby - every life is something to be celebrated. In my area of the country, it isn't considered in poor taste and is quite common.. but I know it's different in some areas. However, IMO, you should probably never throw any type of party FOR yourself. That comes off a bit tacky.

And don't get me started on the absurdity that is gender reveal parties (only exception being if parents to be are finding out as well, maybe) .. oh lord.

CharminglySouthern · September 2015

Kc0825 said:
Hi everyone! I am going to be a second time mom and i was wondering what your thoughts were on having another shower? i was thinking more of having a diaper party since those are the most expensive things over time and we'll use them a lot. Let me know what y'all think! Thanks!

:::lurking:::: First and foremost you shouldn't throw a gift-giving event in your own honor.

Second, showers are for first time moms. To welcome them to motherhood. Once you are already a mother, you don't need re welcoming.

Third, it's rude to ask for specific gifts (i.e. diapers). If someone wants to give you a gift, they will. It's no secret that babies need diapers. Since you've had a baby before, you know this.

Really though, it's nobody's responsibility to diaper your kid but yours.

NachosAndPeaches · September 2015

I've never heard of this being bad until I joined TB with DS. I've been to TONS of second Abby showers, same sex different sex, close or far in age, etc, and nobody I know in person has ever questioned it. Throwing your own baby shower is tacky for any number shower. But if someone wants to host one for you, do it. I had literally never heard this being a bad thing until TB.

CharminglySouthern · September 2015

NachosAndPeaches said:
I've never heard of this being bad until I joined TB with DS. I've been to TONS of second Abby showers, same sex different sex, close or far in age, etc, and nobody I know in person has ever questioned it. Throwing your own baby shower is tacky for any number shower. But if someone wants to host one for you, do it. I had literally never heard this being a bad thing until TB.

On the flip side of that, I had never heard of showers for 2nd + babies until the bump. Nobody I know does them. If someone did, you can bet they'd be talked about and get some serious side-eye.

In your circle, it's common. You obviously wouldn't ask TB whether or not you should have one.

Team - if you have to ask, it's probably tacky.

mumidi · September 2015

There will be almost 5 years between our kids so I assume family will throw a small sprinkle. However I'm not really expecting one. All of our big items are neutral.

jenniferamcooper · September 2015

I'll be a STM and my kids will be 2 years apart.

I'm not expecting anyone to throw me a shower but my Mom was very pushy about throwing me one about a month after baby is born. I live about 4 hours from my family and she wants to have a celebration where people can have lunch and meet the baby. I said it was fine but as long as people know they don't have to provide a present - well wishes are great. We're likely finding out the gender this time so if it's a girl (we have a boy) I expect I'll get a lot of dresses.

I really hope my friends and DHs family don't throw me one. We have everything we need.

wassuphoes · September 2015

I find second showers and any gift giving party hosted by the mom to be rude. It is not done in my social circle.

If it is normal in your circle, then whatever. If it is not normal I would advise against it. If you're all "but I want to celebrate the baby! " then skip the shower and host a sip n see or meet the baby party once you are comfortable having guests around the baby.

Parties before the baby is born celebrate you, once the baby is born they can be properly celebrated.

mrstrax · September 2015

AliSummer said:
I'm having a shower for my second, but my first was over a decade ago and I didn't have a shower for him. I had a friend who had a "sprinkle" for her second. I thought that was a bit much because her kids were only 2 years apart.

You could invite people visit one-by-one after the baby is born and, if they want to bring gifts then, they can.

This. Perfect exception to the showers only for the first baby rule.

AliSummer · September 2015

mrstrax said:

I'm having a shower for my second, but my first was over a decade ago and I didn't have a shower for him. I had a friend who had a "sprinkle" for her second. I thought that was a bit much because her kids were only 2 years apart.

You could invite people visit one-by-one after the baby is born and, if they want to bring gifts then, they can.
This. Perfect exception to the showers only for the first baby rule.

I should also add that, although I'm excited to have a shower, I wouldn't throw one myself. My mom and sister (and probably MIL once we tell her) are planning on throwing it.

mrstrax · September 2015

AliSummer said:

mrstrax said:

AliSummer said:
I'm having a shower for my second, but my first was over a decade ago and I didn't have a shower for him. I had a friend who had a "sprinkle" for her second. I thought that was a bit much because her kids were only 2 years apart.

You could invite people visit one-by-one after the baby is born and, if they want to bring gifts then, they can.
This. Perfect exception to the showers only for the first baby rule.

I should also add that, although I'm excited to have a shower, I wouldn't throw one myself. My mom and sister (and probably MIL once we tell her) are planning on throwing it.

Oh definitely not. That's just tacky.

jasmineahenderson · September 2015

If someone wants to throw you a shower let them. I had a couple of friends who had their second and had a shower, it didn't bother me that I was buying another gift for their second child and nobody seem to mind. It's fun it's a way to be social and often the parents only register for diapers anyways.

pinottoparenthood · September 2015

krbjoy said:

I've heard of people having a second shower if they are having a different gender baby than the first. That seems legit.

Still think it's tacky. NMS. Baby showers are to celebrate you becoming a mother.... so you already had that moment.

mojomama6 · September 2015

My mil threw me a shower with my fifth child, because only my fourth and fifth are biologically my dh's, and she didn't speak to me at all until my fourth child was several months old. She really really wanted to do something that she could invite her sisters and everyone to, so she did. It was weird for me, and I didn't put my aunts or grandmother or anything on the guest list. My own mother didn't come, and only one of my three sisters did.
In the area I'm in now, it's not unheard of to have a third trimester celebratory gathering. It's not a shower- no gifts- just a gathering of women celebrating the pregnancy, the mother, and the life change.

Kc0825 · September 2015

Well I would never throw my own sorry if it came across that way. I've just had people asking me about it a shower or party of some sort and we didn't really know if it was proper to have something for the second child or not. But thank you for all your thoughts and
opinions

Kc0825 · September 2015

I thought BABY showers were to celebrate the fact you're having that baby or in honor of that baby not anything to do with you becoming a mother. Then I feel like they would be called mother showers?

CharminglySouthern · September 2015

Kc0825 said:
I thought BABY showers were to celebrate the fact you're having that baby or in honor of that baby not anything to do with you becoming a mother. Then I feel like they would be called mother showers?

They celebrate the mother to be. As in "let's shower the mother to be with gifts to care for her new baby." They aren't in honor of a baby who isn't born or there.

Further, the mother (or parents) to be is the one who benefits from the gifts, having less stuff to buy.

NMason505 · September 2015

I really didn't want one. But my bff surprised me with a very small sprinkle, which was very nice.

pinottoparenthood · September 2015

My friend just offered to throw me a sprinkle today. I said that's so sweet and I really appreciate the offer, but no thank you.

littleredx2 · September 2015

I'm a firm believer that showers are for the first kid only. I can get ok with them if there is s huge gap between kiddos but that's it. I actually turned down shower offers with my 2nd and 3rd because it seemed wrong to me. I also agree that if people want to buy you a gift they will without the shower

RoseShadow873 · September 2015

I don't see why not. If people think it's lame they can just not come right?

Rainbowheart · September 2015

No. You get one with your first and that is it. I know my friends like to do little lunches for 2nd or more babies but I am not really a fan of that either. If someone wants to get you a gift they will whether you have a shower or not.

MamaRoni · September 2015

I had a shower thrown by my mom and mil and church (it was combined) for my first Son. 9 months later I was pregnant with twin boys and my church threw me another just because it was fun to them to celebrate the twins (I was 26 weeks ay the shower).. it was small, like 10-12 ppl and although i got some nice gifts we all sat around and talked and giggled... it was very relaxing and nice.

Fast forward 4 years... I had yet another boy and my coworkers threw me a little party at work. No gifts just punch and all that yummy party food

We had a loss at 11 weeks in April and my circle was devastated. I can imagine... no matter what... there will be some kind of party to celebrate this little gummy bear. Gifts or not. And I'm ok with that. I'm sure it will include husbands and kids and all that and just be a way to be together ; )

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