My boss is leaving and I've worked for him for 3 years now and we are friends. This is my second pregnancy while working for him and he's been so great. I'm super happy for him but super stressed about what the next few months hold. Today when we met to go over everything I held it together in the meeting then went to the bathroom and bawled!
The question today would be what am I not crying about?
There was a small fire on a cruise ship a couple of days ago. No one was injured. Some people had their vacations interrupted and were well-compensated by the cruise line. I knew all about this yesterday. But today I'm reading a message board thread started by someone who was on the ship and who kept updating in real time. Nothing dramatic just calm updates about what was happening. And yet, there I go, crying over it. Why???
Last week we did an echocardiogram on gorgeous thoroughbred to make sure his heart didn't have defects because he was to get treatment for an arrhythmia today. Everything looked great. Today his vet let us know that the treatment worked and he was doing well. Here I go, tearing up again! What is wrong with me? I'm being ridiculous today.
Because we're going for our anatomy scan tomorrow to find out if our babies have spina bifida and for some reason I've decided I should watch a documentary about the center for fetal surgery at CHOP where they perform in utero surgeries for babies with spina bifida.
Listening to me and DH's song by the Plain White T's (Write You A Song) and singing it to baby and when it got to the end there's a lyric that says "the one thing I know is how to be a good man to you. Until I die that's what I'll do." And I substituted 'man' with 'mom' and then I couldn't finish singing because tears!
Watched Titanic with my husband and his little brother and I barely made it to the end without losing it. I then proceeded to bee line for our bedroom and sobbed for a good 30 mins.... Keep in mind I have seen this movie a bazillion times and know how it ends, but i still lost it. Watch out for those romantic/sad movies!!! Bloody hormones........
Every day I wonder if this baby will make it....had two miscarriages. I cried telling the midwife. Then I cried more because I was crying in front of stranger. Oddly I find that part funny now.
So basically no one wants to help with anything with the baby on my sode of the family or my SOs just cuz they're all to bitter with each other or just too busy to find it in their schedule. It's ridiculous. The only person helping out is my mom who really has nothing to offer. we were homeless most my life amd she's just starting to get on her feet and dealing with lot's of PTSD with my siblings but still she's willing to make time and try to help out as much as she can. I've been holding it all in and just broke down the other day cuz SOs mom decided she didn't want to be a part of the baby shower and she wud just go as a guest cuz my gma wants to cater the baby shower. People are so damn petty.
First I cried because someone kept insisting I won't love my 2 cats nearly as much after my baby is born. I know things will change, but I will still love them lol... But it made me annoyed/sad that this person was being so pushy about it. Tonight I had the biggest emotional moment since I've been pregnant. We were watching Ally McBeal on Netflix... The episode where Billy dies. It started out as a few tears but throughout the rest of the episode it turned into sobs to the point I couldn't keep it quiet anymore. Then suddenly I burst out laughing because I felt so stupid, yet I was still crying at the same time. I couldn't stop crying and laughing. My husband was trying to figure out what was going on lol.
I had a meltdown in the shower because I can't keep my house clean and "how are we going to have a little baby here when it's this dirty all the time?!"
It's really not bad it was just a little dusty..but then I went to bed bath and beyond and spent 100$ and felt better.
Last night I cried for about 20 minutes because the hubby likes to tickle and pinch (he thinks it's funny . . . me not so much ESPECIALLY now that my boobs leak when he grabs/pinches them, which he seems now more determined to do) After getting super frustrated and not amused I wound up locking myself in the bathroom with the lights off and cried. I know it's pregnancy hormones, but seriously, when I say stop or I'll possibly smack you or start crying I mean it! (there may have been some smacking prior to the crying)
Because my husband scheduled lunch with me - then called and told me (HOURS before) that he had to push it back an hour because he had to found out he had an additional meeting that day.
I asked DH if he was considering getting a tattoo for our LO (he has 2 already) and he gave me the "I don't know..." and a side-eye, which told me he had already thought about it. It was so sweet to me because his tattoos are super meaningful to him and he wouldn't even consider it if it wasn't a big deal to him
Because I hate the hell out of maternity clothes. I just had like three packages of stuff come in and I hate it all. I hate that I can't try anything on in store. I hate the colors of everything. I hate bows across the belly. I hate that there are very few skinny pants for short people. I hate that Destination Maternity thinks $100 is a reasonable price for a jersey/poly blend dress. I hate bras. I hate H&M and ASOS's European sizing. I am sick to death of horizontal stripes. I don't know what size underwear I wear anymore.
Murder & Doulas are my most recent ridiculous out-of-nowhere reasons:
1. Watching the movie, "No Escape" at the theater w my mom yesterday. The part where the Lake Bell's mom character comes to the aid of her family & kills a guy w a shovel. Seriously??
2. My mom sent me a link to a doula's Facebook page & I cried while looking at it. (...Is that a sign?? Lol.)
Because I hate the hell out of maternity clothes. I just had like three packages of stuff come in and I hate it all. I hate that I can't try anything on in store. I hate the colors of everything. I hate bows across the belly. I hate that there are very few skinny pants for short people. I hate that Destination Maternity thinks $100 is a reasonable price for a jersey/poly blend dress. I hate bras. I hate H&M and ASOS's European sizing. I am sick to death of horizontal stripes. I don't know what size underwear I wear anymore.
I cry every Friday because that's the day I feel lonely because all my friends go out clubbing and am at home and I cried in new look because I saw a per of heels and remember that I can't wear them yet and am going to a wedding next week it would have gone perfect with my dress
I cry every Friday because that's the day I feel lonely because all my friends go out clubbing and am at home and I cried in new look because I saw a per of heels and remember that I can't wear them yet and am going to a wedding next week it would have gone perfect with my dress
I was walking by a lounge with a large screen tv that was showing the pope entering Madison square garden to do his mass. Seeing all the emotion on the audience's faces made me cry. I am not even remotely catholic.
Um I was watching Doc McStuffins yesterday with DS and I started crying when one of the toys got hurt. H couldn't believe I was crying over such a ridiculous thing and I couldn't either. I've never been that sensitive before (
The end of Toy Story 3 when Andy gives his toys to the little girl and plays with her before going to college and The Land Before Time (the original 1988). I cried and cried at both. When I thought I was done, I cried even more and it was ugly crying. So unattractive.
Because at least 4 people today who didn't know I was pregnant gave me the "you're pregnant?? You're so tiny!! You don't even look pregnant!" I KNOW. it makes me feel like there's something wrong with me. I wish I had a cute bump like the other girls at work who are also pregnant. I feel like I'm not getting the full experience and it sucks. And my clothes still don't fit so it's not like I get any benefit of not showing
I've started to cry inexplicably at certain pieces of music. This morning it was when Freddie Mercury starts singing on the bridge in Under Pressure. Like BAWLING crying on my way into work. (And then I downloaded it and listened to it twice more, crying each time, because I am a glutton for punishment, apparently.)
Yesterday was one of those days where a bunch of stupid little annoying things happened, but all of them together made me cry. Our oldest cat puked on the rug, our middle cat ate the handle off of a plastic bag and then puked dinner everywhere (the bag came up too, thankfully!), our youngest cat was good lol. I tried to hang up a shelf and couldn't find the hammer, then misplaced the nails, then dented the wall, and then couldn't get the shelf straight. My doctor's office keeps billing me wrong and I keep telling them to fix it, they agree there's an issue, then they send me 10 bills (all wrong) again. And then my mom called right in the middle of everything when I was super overly annoyed, and told me my baby is going to be so negative because I am such a negative person.
I DID end up telling my mom that I was having a bad day and instead of making me feel even worse she should have either a) left me alone, or b) tried to figure out WHY I was a frustrated mess instead of making fun of me. She felt bad. I felt slightly vindicated.
S/P L salpingo-oophorectomy w/ septic torsion 1999, dx moderate to severe Crohn's dz 2004. DH S/P hypospadic sx w/ multiple subsequent scar tissue removals, S/P herniorrhaphy. Married on 10/7/2006! TTC since May 2011; abnormal SA #1, better SA #2, normal HSG 7/2012, dx MFI/ low egg count, IUI!
Re: Why are you crying?
Baby F.......02/02/2016
I've been holding it all in and just broke down the other day cuz SOs mom decided she didn't want to be a part of the baby shower and she wud just go as a guest cuz my gma wants to cater the baby shower. People are so damn petty.
Tonight I had the biggest emotional moment since I've been pregnant. We were watching Ally McBeal on Netflix... The episode where Billy dies. It started out as a few tears but throughout the rest of the episode it turned into sobs to the point I couldn't keep it quiet anymore. Then suddenly I burst out laughing because I felt so stupid, yet I was still crying at the same time. I couldn't stop crying and laughing. My husband was trying to figure out what was going on lol.
It's really not bad it was just a little dusty..but then I went to bed bath and beyond and spent 100$ and felt better.
Even worse - on Friday I started crying when the wind got in my eyes and made my eyes dry. Sudden uncontrollable crying... So weird.
And that is why I am crying.
1. Watching the movie, "No Escape" at the theater w my mom yesterday. The part where the Lake Bell's mom character comes to the aid of her family & kills a guy w a shovel. Seriously??
2. My mom sent me a link to a doula's Facebook page & I cried while looking at it. (...Is that a sign?? Lol.)
Baby F.......02/02/2016
I told him that was a mean thing to do to a pregnant lady...as I was wiping tears from my eyes.
That was a fun one to explain to my man...