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TW ~*~ TTGP Grad Check-In! 9/11/15~*~ Turned Discussion

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Re: TW ~*~ TTGP Grad Check-In! 9/11/15~*~ Turned Discussion

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  • LitterateurLitterateur member
    mrstmoose said:
    @dixie7701 yes. All of it, yes. I've made such a wonderful connection with so many different women here that I would feel hurt if I couldn't come back (not to flaunt anything but to add to discussion). I would understand not wanting to hurt anyone's feelings (obviously) but you ladies are awesome and I would miss you. I noticed someone on a BMB too and she said she just quietly left. That to me was sad because she was a reg. We gotta support each other guys!
    This kinda broke my heart :(
    dixie7701 said:

    There is absolutely no excuse for a regular poster to EVER feel unwelcome after a BFP. They've all walked in the same shoes that we have and some of them have waited a LONG damn time to see those two lines. I have very little tolerance for selfishness and intolerance. I love you guys and want you to hang around as long as you want!!image


    I love this so much!

    Me (31) & DH (35) #DFDubClub
    TTC since August 2013 - Break: Jan-June 2014
    Everything looks good on me so far.  Going in for U/S in Oct just to be absolutely sure everything is good.
    SA for DH pending.
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  • skilouiseskilouise member
    @Deeny14

    I agree. I wonder if it would be helpful if there was a single central thread where regulars could announce BFPs. Then if someone missed a few days, they could search just that thread to see if someone in particular made an announcement. Others who don't want to see BFPs don't have to read the thread.

    The biggest potential issue I see is that the thread could turn into catnip for drive by BFP announcements from non regulars.


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  • MamaBishMamaBish member
    AshVA said:
    @Deeny14 I agree. I wonder if it would be helpful if there was a single central thread where regulars could announce BFPs. Then if someone missed a few days, they could search just that thread to see if someone in particular made an announcement. Others who don't want to see BFPs don't have to read the thread. The biggest potential issue I see is that the thread could turn into catnip for drive by BFP announcements from non regulars.
    Most just generally do this in the TWW thread
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  • blackgirlmagicblackgirlmagic member
    I also feel some type of way when a regular do not announce their BFP. It makes me wonder what happened to them and I do not always have time to search the BMB for them. 
    Married: August 2012
    TTC #1: July 2015
    BFP 1: October 30, 2015; EDD: July 6, 2016- Team Pink
    TTC #2: September 2019

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  • blackgirlmagicblackgirlmagic member
    MamaBish said:
    AshVA said:
    @Deeny14 I agree. I wonder if it would be helpful if there was a single central thread where regulars could announce BFPs. Then if someone missed a few days, they could search just that thread to see if someone in particular made an announcement. Others who don't want to see BFPs don't have to read the thread. The biggest potential issue I see is that the thread could turn into catnip for drive by BFP announcements from non regulars.
    Most just generally do this in the TWW thread
    I think what she was trying to say is instead of people having to search through the TWW board to see what happen there is just ONE theard, where people could just announce their BFP. That way is it all in one place, only for BFP only. 
    Married: August 2012
    TTC #1: July 2015
    BFP 1: October 30, 2015; EDD: July 6, 2016- Team Pink
    TTC #2: September 2019

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  • skilouiseskilouise member
    I know, but as @Deeny14 mentioned, this is difficult to track when WTO unless you lurk TWW every day. And another PP mentioned not always liking to see the BFPs in TWW.

    It may not be worth changing anything. I was just wondering if there is a better way to accommodate both those who like to see BFPs, and those who don't.


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  • WinniethePoohsPantsWinniethePoohsPants member
    dixie7701 said:

    I have to say I am a little shocked by some of the replies on this thread.

    We all want to spew the "give support to get support" but we only want to get/give from women who are like us? Those that have successfully gotten their BFP's are no longer welcome to participate and we don't want to know anything about their success because it makes me feel bad about myself. I realize that not everyone on this board is going to be BFF's with everyone else, but I have met some truly wonderful women here.The idea of dismissing them because they've been successful in their journey and I haven't really makes me sad.

    Supporting one another means forming relationships and getting to know each other through the good days and the bad days. It really bums me out that there are a lot of women that have been TTGP regulars who have refused to announce their BFP's because they were afraid of hurting everyone's feelings. I had no idea that they had gotten their BFPs until I saw them posting while lurking on a BMB or a Tri board. Does it bum me out sometimes to see others getting their BFP's just as AF has arrived in my world? Absolutely! That doesn't mean that we can't put our big girl panties on and be happy for them!

    If there are people here that are so selfish that they aren't willing to be supportive of someone else whose journey is a little different than theirs or perhaps has been successful before them then that's not a community I want to be a part of.

    And perhaps I'm just being overly sensitive today. This rant is not specifically towards JUST this thread. This has been something that's been bothering me for a while. This thread just happened to set me off. /end rant

    This ^^
    and Bravo
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  • LasscherLasscher member
    dixie7701 said:

    I have to say I am a little shocked by some of the replies on this thread.

    We all want to spew the "give support to get support" but we only want to get/give from women who are like us? Those that have successfully gotten their BFP's are no longer welcome to participate and we don't want to know anything about their success because it makes me feel bad about myself. I realize that not everyone on this board is going to be BFF's with everyone else, but I have met some truly wonderful women here.The idea of dismissing them because they've been successful in their journey and I haven't really makes me sad.

    Supporting one another means forming relationships and getting to know each other through the good days and the bad days. It really bums me out that there are a lot of women that have been TTGP regulars who have refused to announce their BFP's because they were afraid of hurting everyone's feelings. I had no idea that they had gotten their BFPs until I saw them posting while lurking on a BMB or a Tri board. Does it bum me out sometimes to see others getting their BFP's just as AF has arrived in my world? Absolutely! That doesn't mean that we can't put our big girl panties on and be happy for them!

    If there are people here that are so selfish that they aren't willing to be supportive of someone else whose journey is a little different than theirs or perhaps has been successful before them then that's not a community I want to be a part of.

    And perhaps I'm just being overly sensitive today. This rant is not specifically towards JUST this thread. This has been something that's been bothering me for a while. This thread just happened to set me off. /end rant

    I cannot love this post enough! @dixie7701. I was a lurker who only recently started posting, but I agree wholeheartedly. Women need to be supportive (and sensitive) of other women in their journeys even if they do not exactly match your own. That means not shoving it in someone's face when you are able to have something when the other cannot. However, it also doesn't mean alienating people because they have something you want and that upsets you.  I hope after this discussion people who would be caused distress by this thread will avoid it, and "graduates" of TTGP will update. 
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  • mrstmoosemrstmoose member
    AshVA said:
    I know, but as @Deeny14 mentioned, this is difficult to track when WTO unless you lurk TWW every day. And another PP mentioned not always liking to see the BFPs in TWW. It may not be worth changing anything. I was just wondering if there is a better way to accommodate both those who like to see BFPs, and those who don't.
    I understand this but what I usually do if I'm in WTO, I will see if the TWW thread is really popping and then I can assume either there's a BFP or something really good going on. I usually creep at the TWW thread at some point in time during the day anyways though.

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  • kcooper1986kcooper1986 member
    As much as I personally would have loved to see a Grad Check-In (I, too, was part of the board back when they were common), clearly it is not going to work with the current board. I think discussing this any further in this thread is beating a dead horse at this point in time...

    Me: 28 DH: 33

    DD: Born 7/30/13, 2 years old

    TTC #2: August 2015


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  • noelietrexnoelietrex member
    I'd like to hear light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel style stories, but maybe not invite pictures if it's up for discussion... Just a thought from a newb. From where I'm standing I only see trying getting harder to deal with as time goes on, but hope and inspiration and reasons not to give up sound nice. IMHO pictures seem like they'd inspire more envy than hope.

    TW + inspiration = count me in :)
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  • SMA1211SMA1211 member
    noelietrex said:

    I'd like to hear light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel style stories, but maybe not invite pictures if it's up for discussion... Just a thought from a newb. From where I'm standing I only see trying getting harder to deal with as time goes on, but hope and inspiration and reasons not to give up sound nice. IMHO pictures seem like they'd inspire more envy than hope.


    TW + inspiration = count me in :)

    I'm also a newb I am just not sure why it would be different to hear the stories and not see the pictures? I feel like the pictures are a huge part of the success stories because it's like yay it's here it happened!
    I feel like it's going to be hard on everyone at some point but it's also the way you look at it too, IMO if you look at it in a positive light then it will be positive. And if you having a day where you are not feeling like the glass is half full then maybe just not click on the thread that day?

    Either way, I'm all for this I think it's an amazing idea and will bring a lot more people together. I would love to know that in a few months or years from now when I am lucky enough to move on that I will be able to share my story and give hope and inspiration to somehow who is feeling as discouraged as I am this week!.
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  • noelietrexnoelietrex member
    SMA1211 said:
    I'd like to hear light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel style stories, but maybe not invite pictures if it's up for discussion... Just a thought from a newb. From where I'm standing I only see trying getting harder to deal with as time goes on, but hope and inspiration and reasons not to give up sound nice. IMHO pictures seem like they'd inspire more envy than hope.

    TW + inspiration = count me in :)
    I'm also a newb I am just not sure why it would be different to hear the stories and not see the pictures? I feel like the pictures are a huge part of the success stories because it's like yay it's here it happened! I feel like it's going to be hard on everyone at some point but it's also the way you look at it too, IMO if you look at it in a positive light then it will be positive. And if you having a day where you are not feeling like the glass is half full then maybe just not click on the thread that day? Either way, I'm all for this I think it's an amazing idea and will bring a lot more people together. I would love to know that in a few months or years from now when I am lucky enough to move on that I will be able to share my story and give hope and inspiration to somehow who is feeling as discouraged as I am this week!.
    Yeah maybe I should just avoid the check-in threads unless I'm feeling sunshiny that day. I'm happy to hear that we're next and that other women tried and did it after lots of patience and prayer. Seeing the bumps just hurts my feelings for some reason though. The bump is so magical and beautiful and such a symbol of life and fertility and just feels so far away right now... I'm prone to being impatient and green with envy though so this could just be me.
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  • SMA1211SMA1211 member
    edited September 2015
    noelietrex said:


    SMA1211 said:

    noelietrex said:

    I'd like to hear light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel style stories, but maybe not invite pictures if it's up for discussion... Just a thought from a newb. From where I'm standing I only see trying getting harder to deal with as time goes on, but hope and inspiration and reasons not to give up sound nice. IMHO pictures seem like they'd inspire more envy than hope.


    TW + inspiration = count me in :)

    I'm also a newb I am just not sure why it would be different to hear the stories and not see the pictures? I feel like the pictures are a huge part of the success stories because it's like yay it's here it happened!
    I feel like it's going to be hard on everyone at some point but it's also the way you look at it too, IMO if you look at it in a positive light then it will be positive. And if you having a day where you are not feeling like the glass is half full then maybe just not click on the thread that day?

    Either way, I'm all for this I think it's an amazing idea and will bring a lot more people together. I would love to know that in a few months or years from now when I am lucky enough to move on that I will be able to share my story and give hope and inspiration to somehow who is feeling as discouraged as I am this week!.

    Yeah maybe I should just avoid the check-in threads unless I'm feeling sunshiny that day. I'm happy to hear that we're next and that other women tried and did it after lots of patience and prayer. Seeing the bumps just hurts my feelings for some reason though. The bump is so magical and beautiful and such a symbol of life and fertility and just feels so far away right now... I'm prone to being impatient and green with envy though so this could just be me.


    ---qbf

    It's completely understandable that you feel that way, some days I do as well. But then there's days where I go on and look at people's bumps and I feel so much better because they have a story just like we do, they tried for "x" amount of time and they finally got their miracle

    (Edit qbf)
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  • wellinaustinwellinaustin member
    I think we should have it! It is exciting and it gives hope knowing that some of these women had to wait for their BFPs as well. They can also provide more guidance to us that are waiting for ours. I also agree that they shouldn't have to quietly bow out.

    This is pretty simple in my mind, but if you don't like it, don't look at it? ;)


    BFP #1  7/19/15, CP 7/26/15
    BFP #2  9/17/15, EDD 5/28/15
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  • LinsbinsLinsbins member
    I do stand by how I worded things earlier. That's exactly how I was feeling. After ntnp since last Christmas, and pulling out all the stops since June, I don't really want to see those things on this board. For example, totes though I was KU last month, and when I wasn't, I needed to avoid the baby names board for awhile (and I usually love to share all my opinions). I think it's a great idea to have that thread on a pregnancy board, and I can hopefully participate one day. Maybe a link in a wto/TWW thread? You would probably get more ladies participation on those boards anyway, and then when I'm having a good day I can click on the link to check in. Just a thought.
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  • blackgirlmagicblackgirlmagic member
    AL_TwinCities said:

    I think we've talked before about how we don't think kids need TWs.

    I second this. If you already have kids no need for a TW. I understand why having one for a CP or MC is necessary. I also feel like if you are talking about some one else's pregnancy like a friend or a co worker that really doesn't need one either. You don't see people holding a TW sign while they are walking down the street with their pregnant belly.
    Married: August 2012
    TTC #1: July 2015
    BFP 1: October 30, 2015; EDD: July 6, 2016- Team Pink
    TTC #2: September 2019

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  • sorarosesorarose member
    raesmith9 said:
    I think we've talked before about how we don't think kids need TWs.
    I second this. If you already have kids no need for a TW. I understand why having one for a CP or MC is necessary. I also feel like if you are talking about some one else's pregnancy like a friend or a co worker that really doesn't need one either. You don't see people holding a TW sign while they are walking down the street with their pregnant belly.
    Good to know. I'll stop TWing my DS, although I remember when I first became active here, someone was flamed for no TW.


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  • blackgirlmagicblackgirlmagic member
    edited September 2015
    I started a poll so that we can see what the group thinks.

    ETA: apparently I can't spell when I wake up.
    Married: August 2012
    TTC #1: July 2015
    BFP 1: October 30, 2015; EDD: July 6, 2016- Team Pink
    TTC #2: September 2019

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  • blackgirlmagicblackgirlmagic member
    AL_TwinCities said:

    raesmith9 said:


    I also feel like if you are talking about some one else's pregnancy like a friend or a co worker that really doesn't need one either. You don't see people holding a TW sign while they are walking down the street with their pregnant belly.

    TTGP is not walking down the street, though. I expect when I come here for this to be a place relatively free from seeing and hearing about pregnancy (aside from early BFPs!) This doesn't mean we can't talk about it, but it is hard enough for me to see people IRL who are pregnant, and updates on FB constantly. If I have a TW I can avoid that discussion or post. After 16 months TTC I would really appreciate a safe zone, and TWs for pregnancy or birth stories help me feel like TTGP is that safe zone.
    I get where you are coming and I completely understand. I get that the TTGP board should be a relatively safe place for people trying to get pregnant. So I can see why anything pregnancy related should have a TW.
    Married: August 2012
    TTC #1: July 2015
    BFP 1: October 30, 2015; EDD: July 6, 2016- Team Pink
    TTC #2: September 2019

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  • Crowqueen03Crowqueen03 member
    I like the idea myself.They could post what all they had to go through to get where they are now.Might be encouraging to some.
    image 
    TTC #2

    What i'm trying: Seed Cycling,Fertility Friend,&Charting.
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    My Ovulation Chart

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