My UO, that I've been thinking about since last week - I don't think it's body shaming to say that I don't like a certain outfit, style or look. If I don't like the way it looks when someone wears leggings as pants, I don't think that I'm wrong for having that opinion. Or shirts that show a lot of cleavage or really short shorts (I actually like booty shorts, just not when you can see buttcheeks). I also don't like mother of the bride-type dresses that go way up past ones collar bone, gaucho pants, denim overalls. If I say that I don't like a certain look, and it happens to be one that shows more skin, I don't think that it is always body shaming.
It's not body shaming to have that opinion.. It's body shaming when you take your opinion on it and confront whomever is doing what you don't like and tell them they can't/shouldn't wear it because it's going against your thoughts on the matter. At least that's how I took that argument anyway.
I should further add, that it really depends on the opinion as to why you don't like it. As @monkeybutt80 pointed out, if you just had a personal preference of not liking it and you approached said person, it would just be rude or obnoxious, not body shaming. Now if you were to say, "you can't wear (insert said clothing) because you do not have the figure to pull it off and only (insert whatever type of figure you think would look good in it) can pull this off" yes that would be body shaming. Or in the example of schools that prohibit girls from wearing a certain type of clothing because "it was distracting to the male students" - total body shaming because you are telling girls that their bodies are responsible for male students' sucess or lack of success in academics.
My UO, that I've been thinking about since last week - I don't think it's body shaming to say that I don't like a certain outfit, style or look. If I don't like the way it looks when someone wears leggings as pants, I don't think that I'm wrong for having that opinion. Or shirts that show a lot of cleavage or really short shorts (I actually like booty shorts, just not when you can see buttcheeks). I also don't like mother of the bride-type dresses that go way up past ones collar bone, gaucho pants, denim overalls. If I say that I don't like a certain look, and it happens to be one that shows more skin, I don't think that it is always body shaming.
I guess it depends on why you don't like it. I don't like culottes because I think they look weird on anyone, and you very well may dislike denim overalls or gaucho pants for the same reason. But when it becomes offensive to me is if the clothing item someone dislikes is in direct relation to the person's body type. I think modesty and tastefulness are relative and completely subjective, and the same outfit on one person may be perceived as tasteful because of their body type, and on another person, society may deem it inappropriate because of their body type. I've pasted an example below of a Who-wore-it-best from US magazine. Surprise! Reese Witherspoone wins by 81%. Kelly Clarkson gets a whopping 4%, and Kim Kardashian comes in at 14%. Kim's breasts are just not going to fit in that dress in the same modest way as Reese's, and Kelly's fuller figure makes the dress bunch and look tighter. Shown separately, a person might very well deem Kelly or Kim's dress inappropriate based on the way it fits their figures, but think that Reese's dress is perfectly appropriate. This to me is a form of body shaming. We can dissect women's clothing all we want (a skirt is slutty if it is shorter than X, heels are slutty if they are more than X inches high, etc.) but we typically make those determinations based on artificial or inconsistent factors. And guess who we don't apply the same rules to? Men!
So I agree that it's fine to dislike an item of clothing because of personal taste, like that clogs are ugly or overalls are tacky, I don't disagree with having an opinion on that, as long as it is not in relation to a woman's body.
@Brushesnbrunch My blood boils every time I hear about schools restricting girls' clothes because of how the boys react. Teach them to respect the girls, instead of telling the girls cater to boys' stupidity! This breeds the horrible rape culture of "she was asking for it because of the way she dressed".
And also, I agree that if someone said that they shouldn't wear leggings if they are over ___ lbs or if they have a certain body type, that IS body shaming. But I still stand by the fact that leggings without something covering their crotch is inappropriate for ANYONE (especially for work or school) including VS models.
Definitely not arguing with you @monkeybutt80! I completely agree. I just wanted to add that little piece because I was going between meetings at the time and forgot to add it, but saw my post was already quoted so it would look weird if I just ETA. I'm SO not eloquent with my wording so just needed to add a little more to get the point of (what I thought) the other side of the argument was.
As for the leggings thing, I personally make sure my bits are covered because it's my opinion it should be covered, but I'm not going to walk up to Joe Blow on the street and tell them to cover up because they could have an entirely different opinion on the matter and that's not wrong either. It's all personal preference.
brushesnbrunch said:
My UO, that I've been thinking about since last week - I don't think it's body shaming to say that I don't like a certain outfit, style or look. If I don't like the way it looks when someone wears leggings as pants, I don't think that I'm wrong for having that opinion. Or shirts that show a lot of cleavage or really short shorts (I actually like booty shorts, just not when you can see buttcheeks). I also don't like mother of the bride-type dresses that go way up past ones collar bone, gaucho pants, denim overalls. If I say that I don't like a certain look, and it happens to be one that shows more skin, I don't think that it is always body shaming.
It's not body shaming to have that opinion.. It's body shaming when you take your opinion on it and confront whomever is doing what you don't like and tell them they can't/shouldn't wear it because it's going against your thoughts on the matter. At least that's how I took that argument anyway.
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Oh my gosh, I would never. I took that conversation (and I don't even remember who said what, so I could be mushing more than one person's opinions together) was that it was body shaming to write it here, specifically on TB (or any public forum, I think one user said), that you don't like leggings as pants. I mean, sharing opinions and information that we would NEVER share in public is kind of what we do here, right? I'm not going to bring up my constipation or leaky boobs with even my girlfriends, usually, but I don't bat an eyelash when I see it here daily. I feel like this place is opinion central and having a negative opinion about tight clothing doesn't necessarily mean that I think someone should be ashamed of their body. (eta - geez formatting)
I think I was the one who brought up body shaming/slut shaming last week. I don't think there's anything wrong with disliking an item of clothing just because you dislike it. But saying "I think X is inappropriate to wear in public because it doesn't fit MY standards of modesty" or "People who look like X shouldn't wear X" really gets into the territory of shaming. Historically, it's women's clothing choices that have been policed, mocked, and judged. I take issue with that. I think it's one short step from there to "She was assaulted? Well what was she wearing? And why was she walking alone at night?"
Please don't think that I'm saying ANYONE here would say anything like that. I don't believe that. I just think the issues are related and we should be careful when we judge what women wear. (And yes, I do understand that sharing UOs and, I suppose to an extent "judging people" is the point of this thread.)
My UO, that I've been thinking about since last week - I don't think it's body shaming to say that I don't like a certain outfit, style or look. If I don't like the way it looks when someone wears leggings as pants, I don't think that I'm wrong for having that opinion. Or shirts that show a lot of cleavage or really short shorts (I actually like booty shorts, just not when you can see buttcheeks). I also don't like mother of the bride-type dresses that go way up past ones collar bone, gaucho pants, denim overalls. If I say that I don't like a certain look, and it happens to be one that shows more skin, I don't think that it is always body shaming.
I guess it depends on why you don't like it. I don't like culottes because I think they look weird on anyone, and you very well may dislike denim overalls or gaucho pants for the same reason. But when it becomes offensive to me is if the clothing item someone dislikes is in direct relation to the person's body type. I think modesty and tastefulness are relative and completely subjective, and the same outfit on one person may be perceived as tasteful because of their body type, and on another person, society may deem it inappropriate because of their body type. I've pasted an example below of a Who-wore-it-best from US magazine. Surprise! Reese Witherspoone wins by 81%. Kelly Clarkson gets a whopping 4%, and Kim Kardashian comes in at 14%. Kim's breasts are just not going to fit in that dress in the same modest way as Reese's, and Kelly's fuller figure makes the dress bunch and look tighter. Shown separately, a person might very well deem Kelly or Kim's dress inappropriate based on the way it fits their figures, but think that Reese's dress is perfectly appropriate. This to me is a form of body shaming. We can dissect women's clothing all we want (a skirt is slutty if it is shorter than X, heels are slutty if they are more than X inches high, etc.) but we typically make those determinations based on artificial or inconsistent factors. And guess who we don't apply the same rules to? Men!
So I agree that it's fine to dislike an item of clothing because of personal taste, like that clogs are ugly or overalls are tacky, I don't disagree with having an opinion on that, as long as it is not in relation to a woman's body.
I do. My husband is 6'5" with 36 inch waist and I will LAUGH at his face if he wears regular 36 inch waist shorts or pants without letting all the hems out, because they look ridiculous on him! But I would not laugh at someone who's 6 ft tall wearing the same shorts or pants. hmmm maybe I have been body shaming my husband....
My UO, that I've been thinking about since last week - I don't think it's body shaming to say that I don't like a certain outfit, style or look. If I don't like the way it looks when someone wears leggings as pants, I don't think that I'm wrong for having that opinion. Or shirts that show a lot of cleavage or really short shorts (I actually like booty shorts, just not when you can see buttcheeks). I also don't like mother of the bride-type dresses that go way up past ones collar bone, gaucho pants, denim overalls. If I say that I don't like a certain look, and it happens to be one that shows more skin, I don't think that it is always body shaming.
I guess it depends on why you don't like it. I don't like culottes because I think they look weird on anyone, and you very well may dislike denim overalls or gaucho pants for the same reason. But when it becomes offensive to me is if the clothing item someone dislikes is in direct relation to the person's body type. I think modesty and tastefulness are relative and completely subjective, and the same outfit on one person may be perceived as tasteful because of their body type, and on another person, society may deem it inappropriate because of their body type. I've pasted an example below of a Who-wore-it-best from US magazine. Surprise! Reese Witherspoone wins by 81%. Kelly Clarkson gets a whopping 4%, and Kim Kardashian comes in at 14%. Kim's breasts are just not going to fit in that dress in the same modest way as Reese's, and Kelly's fuller figure makes the dress bunch and look tighter. Shown separately, a person might very well deem Kelly or Kim's dress inappropriate based on the way it fits their figures, but think that Reese's dress is perfectly appropriate. This to me is a form of body shaming. We can dissect women's clothing all we want (a skirt is slutty if it is shorter than X, heels are slutty if they are more than X inches high, etc.) but we typically make those determinations based on artificial or inconsistent factors. And guess who we don't apply the same rules to? Men!
So I agree that it's fine to dislike an item of clothing because of personal taste, like that clogs are ugly or overalls are tacky, I don't disagree with having an opinion on that, as long as it is not in relation to a woman's body.
I do. My husband is 6'5" with 36 inch waist and I will LAUGH at his face if he wears regular 36 inch waist shorts or pants without letting all the hems out, because they look ridiculous on him! But I would not laugh at someone who's 6 ft tall wearing the same shorts or pants. hmmm maybe I have been body shaming my husband....
My UO is stemming from a conversation with H last night: he said that if he gets a new job where he's making more money I'm not getting an option, I WILL be a SAHM. My opinion on it is, if I wanna work, I don't care if we can afford for me to stay home I'm gonna work dammit! Really irritated right now he took my option away from me..
We have been having a similar conversation. My SO says things like, "I don't want our child in day care." And since he makes way more than me, that means I would be the one to stay home. Some days I think that I want to stay home (mostly because I hate my current job), but then other times it irritates the crap out of me and I tell him I'll work if I want to. Haha. Like you, I think my annoyance is just that I want to make sure he recognizes that it's MY choice whether I work or not. We'll see what happens... I don't know how I would realistically do as a SAHM long-term. I need my adult time.
@acuteangles his entire family is ridiculously tall including his brother's wife. I am only 5'4" on a good day. Family pictures are quite comical.
That family is also very proud of their height and it's ridiculous. I lost all respect and love for my FIL while I was pregnant with my first because he said "no grand child of mine will be shorter than 6 feet"; ok I guess he won't be your grandchild because there is a good chance he won't be tall because of me. The first thing he wants to know after my son's check ups are what percentile he is in height and weight and talks about how both my husband and his brother were always 99.9 percentile for height and weight.
@acuteangles his entire family is ridiculously tall including his brother's wife. I am only 5'4" on a good day. Family pictures are quite comical.
That family is also very proud of their height and it's ridiculous. I lost all respect and love for my FIL while I was pregnant with my first because he said "no grand child of mine will be shorter than 6 feet"; ok I guess he won't be your grandchild because there is a good chance he won't be tall because of me. The first thing he wants to know after my son's check ups are what percentile he is in height and weight and talks about how both my husband and his brother were always 99.9 percentile for height and weight.
Wow. How sad to be proud of something you have no control over and to then have expectations like that for your children and grandchildren. So sorry you have to deal with this.
My UO is stemming from a conversation with H last night: he said that if he gets a new job where he's making more money I'm not getting an option, I WILL be a SAHM. My opinion on it is, if I wanna work, I don't care if we can afford for me to stay home I'm gonna work dammit! Really irritated right now he took my option away from me..
We have been having a similar conversation. My SO says things like, "I don't want our child in day care." And since he makes way more than me, that means I would be the one to stay home. Some days I think that I want to stay home (mostly because I hate my current job), but then other times it irritates the crap out of me and I tell him I'll work if I want to. Haha. Like you, I think my annoyance is just that I want to make sure he recognizes that it's MY choice whether I work or not. We'll see what happens... I don't know how I would realistically do as a SAHM long-term. I need my adult time.
It was totally out of the blue. We haven't discussed it yet because I figured it's not top priority yet, but every other time it has come up before we were even pregnant, we were both under the agreement that initially the plan is for me to go back to work after maternity leave. I guess since there's a chance he would be getting a new job where he would make stupid money for significantly less hours he thinks it's a no brainer, but still...I'd like to be included in the decision!
UO(?): I really hate the terms "basic bitch" and "basic white girl." Like somehow liking things that a lot of people like (fall, pumpkin, cozy sweaters, coffee? I don't even know what else) is worthy of ridicule? I just don't get it. And I don't even like all of those things, so it's not like I'm taking personal offense to being called either of the names, because I haven't been. It's just so weird to me.
Honestly I really wish we could remove the pejorative "bitch" from our vocabulary, especially when women are talking about themselves. But that could also be a UO.
In addition to the sick husband topic... I get SUPER annoyed when my hubs freaks out about every little scratch and bruise! I mean, every single time he gets even the tiniest of injuries he has to 1) yell or scream to get my attention 2) yell at who or whatever "caused" the accident 3) point out how awful it is to me, how bad it hurts, blah blah blah 4) pick, poke or squeeze it until it gets worse 5) get super hurt when I tell him he's over-reacting, and 6) continue to whine and complain about it for several days as if it is destroying his life.
I, on the other hand, can endure most injuries and be like, "oh that?, it's nothing"... that's if I even notice it.
@jaimeruns this is an incredibly accurate description of how my H reacts to any minor injury. Plus continuing to wince/moan/whine loud enough to catch my attention every time he has to use that appendage again for the next 3 weeks...I'm aware the dog bruised your shin buddy, I don't need to be reminded of it for the rest of my life!
@Adventuremama yes!! although I actually think the concept is pretty funny, I cringe at those terms. I also hate how much people have embraced them and identify with them.
My UO: I could never live in a rural area. I went to college in a small town and loved it, but that was college, and in real life, I would hate it. I don't live in a huge city, but I need a metropolitan area and some diversity to be happy. Also, I like that I don't run into my students every time I go grocery shopping (although my city is small enough that this happens occasionally).
@AdventureMama I've never even heard those phrases before. Who comes up with these things??
@jaimeruns my H's descriptors of his injuries are always eyeroll worthy. "I tore my finger open". No, you scratched you finger. Chill out.
@VitaLuna probably the same people who came up with "Bae." My UO for the day, I hate the term "Bae" thats nails on the chalkboard to me; also, I hate the whole shortening of words (i.e. "fab, gorg, totes" etc. ) and here on the west coast that vocabulary is still rampant
Haha the worst part is when he has nothing to blame it on and I'm the only one around so it's magically my fault. "Oh, gosh, I'm so sorry you slammed your finger in the door, it's totally my fault that I didn't open the garage first so you were distracted looking for the opener." or "my bad for not telling you to wear pants when doing construction so you wouldn't cut your leg".
@AdventureMama I've never even heard those phrases before. Who comes up with these things??
@jaimeruns my H's descriptors of his injuries are always eyeroll worthy. "I tore my finger open". No, you scratched you finger. Chill out.
@VitaLuna probably the same people who came up with "Bae." My UO for the day, I hate the term "Bae" thats nails on the chalkboard to me; also, I hate the whole shortening of words (i.e. "fab, gorg, totes" etc. ) and here in so cal that vocabulary is still rampant
I hope the opinion on "bae" isn't unpopular. When I first saw it I thought it was a typo and then had no idea how to pronounce such a made-up word
@jamieruns my H loves to overreact LOUDLY to little things. When we gray moved in together, I remember hearing him yell profanities from the kitchen. I imagined he'd cut a finger off or saw a rat or something. I ran in from the other room to see what was wrong---he dropped a spoon on the floor.
@jamieruns my H loves to overreact LOUDLY to little things. When we gray moved in together, I remember hearing him yell profanities from the kitchen. I imagined he'd cut a finger off or saw a rat or something. I ran in from the other room to see what was wrong---he dropped a spoon on the floor.
Oh my gosh. This is my DH. He isn't a super complainer when he's sick (so thankful!) but he screams SO loud when one of the kids jumps on him, steps on his toe, bites his finger when teething, etc!
@mamacastro I immediately judge your (collective you) intelligence by how many of these types of words come up in your every day vocabulary.
There is a girl/lady I get report from on the phone all the time. I can't even take her seriously as a professional or trust her report because of how she talks.
My UO.. I HATE HATE HATE HATE HAAAAAAAAAAATE when people come over to MY place, where MY pets live, and complain about the fact that my dog and cats shed! I supply you with a lint roller so what does it matter! It isn't even that bad. I once had someone ask me to "put them up" because they didn't want to deal with it. "It" being that my dog needs to be pet before she stops barking and that my cats are both clingy so everyone is always around new people. so I said sure and told the guest not to come out of the room! This is THEIR house! NOT YOURS! Ungrateful non pet owners..
UO(?): I really hate the terms "basic bitch" and "basic white girl." Like somehow liking things that a lot of people like (fall, pumpkin, cozy sweaters, coffee? I don't even know what else) is worthy of ridicule? I just don't get it. And I don't even like all of those things, so it's not like I'm taking personal offense to being called either of the names, because I haven't been. It's just so weird to me.
Honestly I really wish we could remove the pejorative "bitch" from our vocabulary, especially when women are talking about themselves. But that could also be a UO.
I dislike the idea that if I like salted caramel flavoured things or cupcakes or sweaters and leggings that I only like them because they are trendy. They are not trendy they are just the good things in life. Pretty sure I have been enjoying cupcakes since I was a child.
When people feel the need to announce all over social media that "they are so over the [cupcake] trend" it drives me crazy.
@Monkeybutt80 my husband is 6'5" too! He grew like four inches the summer before his junior year. Nobody else is tall in his family. It's weird. I'm 5'5".
UO(?): I really hate the terms "basic bitch" and "basic white girl." Like somehow liking things that a lot of people like (fall, pumpkin, cozy sweaters, coffee? I don't even know what else) is worthy of ridicule? I just don't get it. And I don't even like all of those things, so it's not like I'm taking personal offense to being called either of the names, because I haven't been. It's just so weird to me.
Honestly I really wish we could remove the pejorative "bitch" from our vocabulary, especially when women are talking about themselves. But that could also be a UO.
I dislike the idea that if I like salted caramel flavoured things or cupcakes or sweaters and leggings that I only like them because they are trendy. They are not trendy they are just the good things in life. Pretty sure I have been enjoying cupcakes since I was a child.
When people feel the need to announce all over social media that "they are so over the [cupcake] trend" it drives me crazy.
YES! Exactly this. Maybe I like the things I like, and they're "trendy" because I have good taste. haha
@vitaluna: I can't believe you haven't heard those phrases. I feel like they're everywhere in the fall especially. Found these on Google to give you examples:
I hate when I go to a friend's house with pets when their owners ignore their pet assaulting me. I dont want your 50 pound dogs jumping on me or sticking their nose in my crotch the entire time. I understand it is their home but you need to offer your guests courtesy too. I avoid some peoples houses just because of this.
Feb 2016 Siggy Challenge, Favorite Thing About Fall
I went to a friend's house for brunch recently. She has two cats and a dog. I found all three animals' hair in the food she served us. I can't do any hair in my food (even my own!). I just shut down. I'm never eating there again. If it's a problem, please just invite me to a restaurant instead!
I hate when I go to a friend's house with pets when their owners ignore their pet assaulting me. I dont want your 50 pound dogs jumping on me or sticking their nose in my crotch the entire time. I understand it is their home but you need to offer your guests courtesy too. I avoid some peoples houses just because of this.
Ugh, yes! I am not a dog person, generally. I hate when they lick me, I hate when they jump on me, they make me nervous when my kid is around (my friend's toddler was recently viciously attacked by a large dog who was supposedly super friendly and grew up around kids). The worst is when they're jumping on you or sniffing your crotch and when you tell them to stop or push them away, the owner gives you a dirty look like you're in the wrong. Uhh. No. Control your dog. That's just rude.
I hate when I go to a friend's house with pets when their owners ignore their pet assaulting me. I dont want your 50 pound dogs jumping on me or sticking their nose in my crotch the entire time. I understand it is their home but you need to offer your guests courtesy too. I avoid some peoples houses just because of this.
YES. I'll be as polite about it as possible while I'm there, but I might not come back.
I hate when I go to a friend's house with pets when their owners ignore their pet assaulting me. I dont want your 50 pound dogs jumping on me or sticking their nose in my crotch the entire time. I understand it is their home but you need to offer your guests courtesy too. I avoid some peoples houses just because of this.
100% agree with this and @AdventureMama. Keep your dog off of me. No, I'm not going to pet it, no, I don't care of it's "just excited to see someone new". Get your dog away from me. I have several friends that I will only meet in neutral spaces (coffee, etc) because I don't want their dog jumping on me, licking me, hair all over the place, etc.
And don't get me started on people that let their dogs lick/play with my toddler. I don't care if it's "nice" or "likes kids".. tighten your leash and get that effing thing away from us unless I ask if DD can see/pet it. I shouldn't have to leave the sidewalk to avoid you.
I hate when I go to a friend's house with pets when their owners ignore their pet assaulting me. I dont want your 50 pound dogs jumping on me or sticking their nose in my crotch the entire time. I understand it is their home but you need to offer your guests courtesy too. I avoid some peoples houses just because of this.
Ugh, yes! I am not a dog person, generally. I hate when they lick me, I hate when they jump on me, they make me nervous when my kid is around (my friend's toddler was recently viciously attacked by a large dog who was supposedly super friendly and grew up around kids). The worst is when they're jumping on you or sniffing your crotch and when you tell them to stop or push them away, the owner gives you a dirty look like you're in the wrong. Uhh. No. Control your dog. That's just rude.
My UO opinion is that I don't trust people who don't love dogs
Feb '16 Siggy Challenge: Favorite Thing About Fall: Haunted Houses and Scary Movies!
I hate when I go to a friend's house with pets when their owners ignore their pet assaulting me. I dont want your 50 pound dogs jumping on me or sticking their nose in my crotch the entire time. I understand it is their home but you need to offer your guests courtesy too. I avoid some peoples houses just because of this.
Ugh, yes! I am not a dog person, generally. I hate when they lick me, I hate when they jump on me, they make me nervous when my kid is around (my friend's toddler was recently viciously attacked by a large dog who was supposedly super friendly and grew up around kids). The worst is when they're jumping on you or sniffing your crotch and when you tell them to stop or push them away, the owner gives you a dirty look like you're in the wrong. Uhh. No. Control your dog. That's just rude.
My UO opinion is that I don't trust people who don't love dogs
Haha! I don't hate dogs, and I am looking forward to when we can have one (I'd like our kids to be older). I really like calm, quiet, older, bigger dogs. Small yippy dogs annoy me and dogs that aren't well trained and jump on me and can't get their nose out of my crotch are horrible.
I hate when I go to a friend's house with pets when their owners ignore their pet assaulting me. I dont want your 50 pound dogs jumping on me or sticking their nose in my crotch the entire time. I understand it is their home but you need to offer your guests courtesy too. I avoid some peoples houses just because of this.
Ugh, yes! I am not a dog person, generally. I hate when they lick me, I hate when they jump on me, they make me nervous when my kid is around (my friend's toddler was recently viciously attacked by a large dog who was supposedly super friendly and grew up around kids). The worst is when they're jumping on you or sniffing your crotch and when you tell them to stop or push them away, the owner gives you a dirty look like you're in the wrong. Uhh. No. Control your dog. That's just rude.
My UO opinion is that I don't trust people who don't love dogs
Haha! I don't hate dogs, and I am looking forward to when we can have one (I'd like our kids to be older). I really like calm, quiet, older, bigger dogs. Small yippy dogs annoy me and dogs that aren't well trained and jump on me and can't get their nose out of my crotch are horrible.
Ok I'll give you nose in crotch - that's awkward! I love dogs but some big ones can scare me - like I know pit bulls can be really lovable when treated well, but I can't help feel a little nervous around one... Thinking they can kill me if they wanted to
Feb '16 Siggy Challenge: Favorite Thing About Fall: Haunted Houses and Scary Movies!
I hate when I go to a friend's house with pets when their owners ignore their pet assaulting me. I dont want your 50 pound dogs jumping on me or sticking their nose in my crotch the entire time. I understand it is their home but you need to offer your guests courtesy too. I avoid some peoples houses just because of this.
Ugh, yes! I am not a dog person, generally. I hate when they lick me, I hate when they jump on me, they make me nervous when my kid is around (my friend's toddler was recently viciously attacked by a large dog who was supposedly super friendly and grew up around kids). The worst is when they're jumping on you or sniffing your crotch and when you tell them to stop or push them away, the owner gives you a dirty look like you're in the wrong. Uhh. No. Control your dog. That's just rude.
My UO opinion is that I don't trust people who don't love dogs
Haha! I don't hate dogs, and I am looking forward to when we can have one (I'd like our kids to be older). I really like calm, quiet, older, bigger dogs. Small yippy dogs annoy me and dogs that aren't well trained and jump on me and can't get their nose out of my crotch are horrible.
Ok I'll give you nose in crotch - that's awkward! I love dogs but some big ones can scare me - like I know pit bulls can be really lovable when treated well, but I can't help feel a little nervous around one... Thinking they can kill me if they wanted to
Yeah like I said in one of my previous comments, my friend's daughter was attacked a few weeks ago at a work picnic. The dog took out chunks of her thigh and broke several ribs and did some other damage. It was a terrifying experience for all of them. And from a dog that has children in his family and has been docile his entire life. The owners were completely shocked. Even great dogs can get startled or scared and really hurt someone. It made me really rethink how to teach DS to approach dogs. It hasn't really been an issue yet but I'm sure it will be soon as he is in the stroller less and less.
I love dogs and own three of them but the only dog I trust is my pug. She's been with me 10 years and doesn't have a violent bone in her body. The other 2( golden retriever and mutt) are rescues and even though they've been with me years, I put them in the kitchen if my friends bring kids over. I have a few friends who want their children to play with the dogs and don't understand why I'm never comfortable with it.
I put my dogs in their room if I have other kids over now. Not to protect the kids but to protect my dogs. I once found a 2 yr old cornering my 7 lb Maltese and trying to run it over with a large ( as big as my dog) toy truck. My dog was so terrified it peed. About 6 months later, I had my first and my little dog is still terrified of all babies and toddlers. My UO is that I think it's important to raise your children exposed to pets so that they know how to be gentle to pets and animals in general. My 2 yr old knows how to act around not only our dogs but other people's pets.
Re: UO
I should further add, that it really depends on the opinion as to why you don't like it. As @monkeybutt80 pointed out, if you just had a personal preference of not liking it and you approached said person, it would just be rude or obnoxious, not body shaming. Now if you were to say, "you can't wear (insert said clothing) because you do not have the figure to pull it off and only (insert whatever type of figure you think would look good in it) can pull this off" yes that would be body shaming. Or in the example of schools that prohibit girls from wearing a certain type of clothing because "it was distracting to the male students" - total body shaming because you are telling girls that their bodies are responsible for male students' sucess or lack of success in academics.
Baby F.......02/02/2016
As for the leggings thing, I personally make sure my bits are covered because it's my opinion it should be covered, but I'm not going to walk up to Joe Blow on the street and tell them to cover up because they could have an entirely different opinion on the matter and that's not wrong either. It's all personal preference.
Baby F.......02/02/2016
********************************************************************************************************************** Oh my gosh, I would never. I took that conversation (and I don't even remember who said what, so I could be mushing more than one person's opinions together) was that it was body shaming to write it here, specifically on TB (or any public forum, I think one user said), that you don't like leggings as pants. I mean, sharing opinions and information that we would NEVER share in public is kind of what we do here, right? I'm not going to bring up my constipation or leaky boobs with even my girlfriends, usually, but I don't bat an eyelash when I see it here daily. I feel like this place is opinion central and having a negative opinion about tight clothing doesn't necessarily mean that I think someone should be ashamed of their body. (eta - geez formatting)
Please don't think that I'm saying ANYONE here would say anything like that. I don't believe that. I just think the issues are related and we should be careful when we judge what women wear. (And yes, I do understand that sharing UOs and, I suppose to an extent "judging people" is the point of this thread.)
It was totally out of the blue. We haven't discussed it yet because I figured it's not top priority yet, but every other time it has come up before we were even pregnant, we were both under the agreement that initially the plan is for me to go back to work after maternity leave. I guess since there's a chance he would be getting a new job where he would make stupid money for significantly less hours he thinks it's a no brainer, but still...I'd like to be included in the decision!
Baby F.......02/02/2016
Honestly I really wish we could remove the pejorative "bitch" from our vocabulary, especially when women are talking about themselves. But that could also be a UO.
In addition to the sick husband topic... I get SUPER annoyed when my hubs freaks out about every little scratch and bruise! I mean, every single time he gets even the tiniest of injuries he has to 1) yell or scream to get my attention 2) yell at who or whatever "caused" the accident 3) point out how awful it is to me, how bad it hurts, blah blah blah 4) pick, poke or squeeze it until it gets worse 5) get super hurt when I tell him he's over-reacting, and 6) continue to whine and complain about it for several days as if it is destroying his life.
I, on the other hand, can endure most injuries and be like, "oh that?, it's nothing"... that's if I even notice it.
Why are men such BABIES???
@jaimeruns my H's descriptors of his injuries are always eyeroll worthy. "I tore my finger open". No, you scratched you finger. Chill out.
My UO: I could never live in a rural area. I went to college in a small town and loved it, but that was college, and in real life, I would hate it. I don't live in a huge city, but I need a metropolitan area and some diversity to be happy. Also, I like that I don't run into my students every time I go grocery shopping (although my city is small enough that this happens occasionally).
There is a girl/lady I get report from on the phone all the time. I can't even take her seriously as a professional or trust her report because of how she talks.
When people feel the need to announce all over social media that "they are so over the [cupcake] trend" it drives me crazy.
Feb 2016 Siggy Challenge, Favorite Thing About Fall
And don't get me started on people that let their dogs lick/play with my toddler. I don't care if it's "nice" or "likes kids".. tighten your leash and get that effing thing away from us unless I ask if DD can see/pet it. I shouldn't have to leave the sidewalk to avoid you.
I love dogs but some big ones can scare me - like I know pit bulls can be really lovable when treated well, but I can't help feel a little nervous around one... Thinking they can kill me if they wanted to
About 6 months later, I had my first and my little dog is still terrified of all babies and toddlers.
My UO is that I think it's important to raise your children exposed to pets so that they know how to be gentle to pets and animals in general. My 2 yr old knows how to act around not only our dogs but other people's pets.