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April 2015 Moms
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Cry it out

Amie2110Amie2110 member
edited September 2015 in April 2015 Moms
so we are attempting the CIO method on our son and I would say it's a fail! It's been an hour and a half and I feel like he is still just as awake as he was initially. We stopped going in there to reassure at this point because it just makes him scream more. I guarantee if we went in their he would fall asleep in our arms within 2 minutes but I feel like if we do at this point all our effort is wasted. Is this lasting too long or should I sit and bear it (all while my husband is snoring and believes "support" means one sleeps while the other, meaning me, sits and listens to the crying).
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Re: Cry it out

  • lmk115lmk115 member
    Ferber would say do not pick him up, but keep going in and letting him know that you are there. Even if he cried harder when you leave. It's very hard but so worth it!!
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  • morninglory530morninglory530 member
    The first night is rough. I think I ignored the directions to start late the first night and he cried healthily for a half hour and I felt bad and picked him up, read some books to him, dropped him back in bed, and he fell asleep by himself 10 minutes later. The next night was easier, and the next one after that even easier. He goes down at night with very little fussing now, about a month and a half later.

    There's a section after Ferber introduces the "progressive waiting" approach where he talks about if it's not working and offers some trouble shooting advice...I would go look at those.

    Remember, the point is to change baby's sleep associations and get baby to fall asleep on their own, not cry themselves to sleep. I would set a number of days that you can stand it (I decided I could do 3 days) and reevaluate if everyone is ready for this and if not, back up, think about it, and try again in a few weeks.

    You are not an awful parent, your child will still be attached to you and love you, and you can still meet your child's needs. You are just being practical. There will be tears whenever you stop holding them to sleep, be it now, in 3 months, after a year, or even 2-3 years.
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  • borgie05borgie05 member
    My sister used the "Sleep Lady's Shuffle" method on my niece and honestly she goes down like a dream. She is probably the easiest kid I have ever had to put to bed (I used to babysit a ton). I plan on using the same method for our son when he reaches 6 months. Obviously, do whatever method works for you. Just wanted to throw one out there that I know can work in case you need it. There are a lot of different methods out there, go with whatever you are comfortable with :)
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  • alexis95alexis95 member
    I don't think I could ever do the cry it out method. I just couldn't stand to hear my baby cry and not go comfort him! But if you can do it and it's the method you like the best, then go ahead with it and keep trying until your baby cries less and less each time you put him down. My mom used this method on all 3 of her kids and she said that she would let us cry a few minutes the first night, and then a little longer each night, until we only fussed a little bit and then fell asleep. As each night went on and we were left in our cribs a little longer every time, we started to get used to it. I personally cuddle with my son every night to get him to sleep and have heard from other parents that did this, that their babies did learn to sleep on their own after a while. While it's extra effort and takes more time, I would rather have my baby calmly go to sleep without crying for awhile first, especially if someday he won't need me anymore and I'll probably miss having to cuddle with him.
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  • katkohlerkatkohler member
    So I personally couldn't handle the cry it out method. What worked for us was a white noise machine - when she starts getting sleepy we read a book and I sing to her - turn on the machine (she likes the heavy rain) and put her down with a pacifier (might regret later on but works like a charm for getting to sleep) and sing one more song and typically she is out. Our machine has a timer which I usually set to 45min. Sometimes if she is really fussy you just have to turn the white noise up louder than the screaming and slowly adjust back down when she falls asleep.
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  • alexis95alexis95 member
    I'll also add that my son really likes calm music! Whenever he's really fussy we put our John Mayer pandora radio on he he calms down right away and gets sleepy. I would try that or the above mentioned white noise machine! That might calm him down enough to not cry for so long and might give you a peace of mind. Mine also takes a pacifier only to sleep at night (hopefully it'll be easy to take it away at a year old), but he can't sleep without it. So if you're not using one, I would try that too!
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