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September 2015 Moms
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breastfeeding not going as planned

chelseajeanenechelseajeanene member
in September 2015 Moms
my little man isn't having an easy time feeding and it's breaking my heart. He knows how to latch on and suck but he doesn't realize to continuously do it. He either ends up falling asleep no matter how I try and wake him, or he gets distracted and would rather eat his hand. I had no other choice but to supplement formula and now I'm trying to pump while DH feeds him. I'm only 48 hours out of labor so I know my milk isn't there yet but I feel I get little to nothing while pumping. Just looking for advice how to get things going :/ he's so precious and I want to feed my baby! image
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Re: breastfeeding not going as planned

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  • kkerner87kkerner87 member
    I had to supplimentint while in the hospital and the first day or 2 home. My LO has tongue tie and we're still having latch issues (using the nipple shield). I also pump and use my breast milk in a bottle to feed her. Pump every 2 hours (I even set my alarm for the middle of the night to get up and pump). At first I used all my reserve colostrum (what my body has been making for 9 months). After that I was completely dry (hence the formula supplimentint). Once I got more colostrum, I fed that to her through a syringe. It takes time. Just keep pumping every 2-3 hours and you will protect your supply. Even if youre getting nothing, keep at it. I know it's really hard. I thought it would be so much more easier than this. I think DH and I made the decision to snip baby girls tongue tie at her next appointment. Praying that helps a little.
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  • squigles28squigles28 member
    My little girl had to be supplemented to keep her blood sugar stabilized... But I did lots of skin to skin with her and kept pumping even if only getting an ml or two and syringe fed to her. One week in, I'm producing really well pumping every 3 hours. It's exhausting but worth it. Just got her tongue tie clipped and trying to help her learn to breastfeed still. So frustrating, I feel like we are doing this backwards. But anyways, scheduling is important and keep at it with the pumping. A hands free pumping bra helps a ton!
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  • kheitic4kheitic4 member
    I remember with my son when he would fall asleep I would squeeze my boob that he was nursing on. It would trigger another let down or really just shoot a ton more milk in his mouth and would startle him back awake to keep nursing. But this was after my milk had already came in which took forever, I think like 3-5 days.
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  • LoveLee85LoveLee85 member
    Oh my gosh!!! You have the cutest baby boy ever!!!!!!! I hope you have better luck! I'm a FTM, baby due next week so no advice other than lactation consultant?!?!
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  • carryingablessingcarryingablessing member
    SUPER DUPER CUTE LITTLE GUY! No advice. I'm waiting my first little guy to make his appearance. 
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  • katieserrato23katieserrato23 member
    Fenugreek supplement will bring in your milk insanely! You do take quite a bit but it's all natural and makes you smell of maple syrup that's how you know it's working..well that and you'll be gushing milk and have to pump just for relief. :) praying for you girlie
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  • IzziesIzzies member
    My LO was born early at 36w3days and did great for the first two days then seemed to be too tired to eat. She dropped 5% body weight on her third day, in one day! We ended up having to supplement but breastfeeding is our #1 priority so here's what we are doing. I nurse baby on each breast for 15 mins each side or until she looses intrest (this is hard because like your little man it's hard to keep her awake) them my husband feeds her the colostrom I pumped at the previous feeding. Then we supplement with formula. While he is doing this I pump for the next feeding. This is exhausting but SO worth it! Don't feel discouraged with how little you get when you pump! I wasn't getting 1 ml in the beginning and am now on day 5 getting 5-7 ml per pumping session. It's a tiny amount but that tiny amount is doing amazing things for your baby!! Pls it will increase.
    Also watch how much your supplementing. The hosp was originally having us give 30ml AND still breastfeeding. LO was way to full and sleepy to eat at the next feeding. We tapered down to 15 then to 10 which seems to work well. A formula fed baby is given 30ml of formula and fed every 3-4 hours. Breast fed babies eat muh less per feeding and generally eat every 2-3 hours.
    Hang in there! Your LO will get the hang of it!
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  • BoobopgirlBoobopgirl member
    Yes, working with a lactation consultant will help.  We are lucky to live in a day and time when there are so many options for how to feed our babies until they get the hang of it.

    As much skin to skin as possible (seriously, just give up wearing shirts for awhile and wear a bra...or no bra...with a baby on you and a blanket over you both) and keep pumping.  Have you tried hand expressing?  Hand expressing can be easier than pumping while you are still in colostrum. Even if you are only getting drops, that is a lot of colostrum with a pump.  None is also normal.  The pumping is more to stimulate your breasts to start producing milk than to "get anything" at this point. Remember too that if he is latching well, he is better than a pump at getting the milk out.

    How long is he staying awake for when feeding? How often is he feeding?  Is he pooping/peeing/waking up for his next feeding within 2 hours or so?  Or even sooner?  What I'm getting at is:  How are they deciding that he's not getting enough?  He only needs about a teaspoon of colostrum a feed, so even if he is only sucking for a few minutes, as long as he is having pees/poops and excreting enough to keep his bilirubin levels down, then he is getting enough. The doctors tend to focus on how many "minutes" but really what's important is how well the baby is sucking and what their outputs are like.  If you try to keep them awake and sucking when they are full, they will be too sleepy to eat well at their next feeding (this happened to my DD, we were keeping her awake too long focusing on the clock saying "it hasn't been x number of minutes yet," and then she'd be too tired to eat the next time we were "supposed" to feed her.)

    Also, remember that it is normal for him to lose weight from all the fluids they put in you while you were in labor.  Doctors know this, but tend to freak out about it and worry new moms more than necessary about their baby "losing too much weight."
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  • jen83mnjen83mn member
    squigles28 said:

    My little girl had to be supplemented to keep her blood sugar stabilized... But I did lots of skin to skin with her and kept pumping even if only getting an ml or two and syringe fed to her. One week in, I'm producing really well pumping every 3 hours. It's exhausting but worth it. Just got her tongue tie clipped and trying to help her learn to breastfeed still. So frustrating, I feel like we are doing this backwards. But anyways, scheduling is important and keep at it with the pumping. A hands free pumping bra helps a ton!

    How did the tongue-tie clipping procedure go? Has your baby been in any pain afterward, or is the baby experiencing any issues breastfeeding again now that it's different? Ours has it too and has been doing great nursing, but the tie is right on the tip almost of his tongue and we're worried it would affect speech down the road. We'll be talking to our ped more about it this week. Thanks!
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  • urfcerinurfcerin member
    edited September 2015
    Some great advice here! My son has already lost 9% of his body weight two days post delivery. I'm sure ped is going to suggest supplementing. We have given him a few mL of formula after a few nursing session and he does seem more satisfied. It's heart breaking when things are difficult, especially with all of the messages out there about how natural and easy breastfeeding is and how everyone's body can do it. Well, everyone's body can't always do it. My lactation consultant shared this after i struggled with milk production with my first two pregnancies. I'm not trying to be discouraging but just reiterate that it's a ton of work and so many issues can interfere, none of which are in the mothers control. Good luck to you mama!
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  • babyplutbabyplut member
    My daughter who is now 10 had a tongue tie and we were having a lot of problems with latching and sore nipples. After about a week of trying we got it clipped. She didn't even cry and after that bf was great!
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  • chelseajeanenechelseajeanene member
    BRitchie87 said:

    I'm having the exact same issue. It is heartbreaking to me for my little girl to try and still need supplementing. But, we are only 2 days into it, we are strong And we can do this for our babies.

    It's just been a lot. I feel like I'm missing out on something. I had to have an emergency csection so nothing went as I planned and recovery is much harder then I expected. I'm jealous my husband gets to feed and change the baby because I can't. With my last 2 pumping session I didn't get a single drop to even give to him :(
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  • Bailey1823ABailey1823A member
    DidiVaio said:

    Try not to bottle feed him as you endanger nipple confusion and then heIis not going to latch on correctly.
    Try using sns or a syringe (without the needle).
    Give him time on your breasts (even if you think he is not drinking) as it is tge most efficient way to help your milk come in and visit a lactation consultant ASAP.


    Oh, and google newborn's stomach capacity. His stomach is really tiny. Do not overfeed him with formula.

    This is fantastic advice coming. Also always offer the breast first before supplementing especially if he latches well and sucks well. He is going to be much better at stimulating milk production than the pump. Hang in there it is tough. I had major issues with my first. This time has so far been easier (although not before she shreaded my nipples) I am not quite 2 days postpartum and my transitional milk is starting to come in already because I am feeding her on demand or at least every 3 hrs. That is pretty much all we have been doing. You can do this!
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  • chelseajeanenechelseajeanene member
    edited September 2015
    Boobopgirl said:

    Yes, working with a lactation consultant will help.  We are lucky to live in a day and time when there are so many options for how to feed our babies until they get the hang of it.

    As much skin to skin as possible (seriously, just give up wearing shirts for awhile and wear a bra...or no bra...with a baby on you and a blanket over you both) and keep pumping.  Have you tried hand expressing?  Hand expressing can be easier than pumping while you are still in colostrum. Even if you are only getting drops, that is a lot of colostrum with a pump.  None is also normal.  The pumping is more to stimulate your breasts to start producing milk than to "get anything" at this point. Remember too that if he is latching well, he is better than a pump at getting the milk out.

    How long is he staying awake for when feeding? How often is he feeding?  Is he pooping/peeing/waking up for his next feeding within 2 hours or so?  Or even sooner?  What I'm getting at is:  How are they deciding that he's not getting enough?  He only needs about a teaspoon of colostrum a feed, so even if he is only sucking for a few minutes, as long as he is having pees/poops and excreting enough to keep his bilirubin levels down, then he is getting enough. The doctors tend to focus on how many "minutes" but really what's important is how well the baby is sucking and what their outputs are like.  If you try to keep them awake and sucking when they are full, they will be too sleepy to eat well at their next feeding (this happened to my DD, we were keeping her awake too long focusing on the clock saying "it hasn't been x number of minutes yet," and then she'd be too tired to eat the next time we were "supposed" to feed her.)


    Also, remember that it is normal for him to lose weight from all the fluids they put in you while you were in labor.  Doctors know this, but tend to freak out about it and worry new moms more than necessary about their baby "losing too much weight."
    I'm still in the hospital and do have a few lactation consultants. They haven't mentioned that they don't think he has tongue tie because they know he is capable of doing it, he gets too comfortable and lazy since he found out the bottle is easier. When he latches he's on he'll give a couple real good sucks but then he'll pass out or just lick around or just have it sit in his mouth but never suck. It kills me because he gets so fussy because he is hungry but then only the bottle is working :/ in BF in general doesn't happen I'll accept it but I at least want to pump for him and I'll feel better but that's not happening much as of right now. Over night the last two pumping session I didn't get even a single drop to give him through syringe so it's a terrible feeling on my behalf. I try and pump while my DH bottle feeds him and he stays awake for that and sleeps right after but he's gotten himself on an every 2-2.5 hour time frame so I know he really enjoys it. They allow up to 30 ml (but he usually doesn't drink that much) so if I do get anything from pumping I make sure he gets the proper amount added to whatever he gets from the bottle. His diaper changes are like clockwork as well so that makes me feel better at least that I know the formula is working for him. I was so worried the first day because he didn't poop until about 30 hours In and there was one nurse here that was making me feel like such a bad mom and I broke down because I couldn't get him to eat
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  • BeachBabe22BeachBabe22 member
    My advice is to keep trying!! The first few months of nursing my daughter were really difficult and I struggled a lot. Things got better after three months then I really enjoyed it and nursed her for 13 months. Keep pumping and add every last drop of it to his formula. I know if can be discouraging when you pump and get two drops but it will get better!
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  • LoveLee85LoveLee85 member
    Oh no! That nurse was just being a brat, ignore her! As long as your baby is being fed and is healthy, that's ALL that matters!!!!! You are giving this the best go that you can! Their is no failure in that! Please don't worry. I'm a FTM who will give BF my all, also, but it's not the end all be all! Take care of yourself and please try not to stress!
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  • chelseajeanenechelseajeanene member
    Thank you for all the encouraging words and advice ladies, I really appreciate and hope this does start to work out. I've learned very quickly that no matter what my personal plan for him has been that in the end it's not my as to how things play out. I have to do whatever is best for him and I just pray we figure this out. Since I had an emergency csection instead of my med free natural birth that I wanted, I feel I've been missing out on everything. My recovery is really a lot harder then I expected, I didn't get to meet my little man for at least a half hour so my hubby got to witness everything, he's done the diaper changes and the bottle feedings. It's just so discouraging because I want to be the one doing all of this, I'm so extremely thankful for my DH and so happy for him that he's getting to do it all, I just wish something would go as I wished :/
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  • rachelkawesomerachelkawesome member
    Hang in there momma! 
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  • ktbkittenktbkitten member
    There is so much good advice on this thread already. I mostly wanted to tell you that I went through the same thing with my first. He would just fall asleep when I BF but he would take a bottle no problem. With him I only BF for 3 month and gave up. I know more this time around and I hope to be able to do it longer. I am not trying to sound negative and I hope that you can BF for as long as possible, but my main point for sharing the time frame is because I felt like such a failure and I gave up. I let it eat me up that I couldn't feed my baby and it made me feel like a horrible mom. As stupid as it is I pictured myself living a long time ago before formula and not being able to keep my children alive and it was all my fault and I was a bad mom. But looking back I really wish that I didn't beat myself up like that. My son is now 11 and yes he was formula fed from the time he was 3 months old, but he is an awesome kid and I've done everything I could to be a good mother to him and it shows. 

    Your little bundle is adorable and you are already a wonderful mom. I know how hard it is but don't let it eat you up inside. After having a baby our hormones are totally crazy and there is so much change going on. You will take the best care of you LO and be the best mom for him. Hugs. 
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  • monicaPmonicaP member
    Some great advice. I went through this with my first and there was a nurse and lactation consultant that left me in tears, so I totally get how the nurse made you feel (my first didn't poop for a week after passing her merconium). You are not alone. It is amazing how something so natural can be so hard. Keep putting him to your breast and follow up as needed. You both will get it.
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  • squigles28squigles28 member
    @jen83mn she only cried for two minutes. The Dr said not very vascular so just a couple drops of blood since she is so young.
    Hers was to the tip too and she could barely move her tongue.

    Now it's been 3 days since, she and I had to relearn breastfeeding. But she is kind of getting the hang of it. I just put her to the breast before each daytime feeding. We go back to LC on Thurs for more help

    @chelseajeanene keep your head up. My LO definitely didn't start out how I wanted, but she preferred the breast milk when it came in over the formula. I'm at 1 week out of constantly pumping and making enough for each feed. It sucks to pump constantly but so worth it
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  • str13str13 member
    It's pretty much all been covered, but I just wanted to tell you that you're doing an awesome job @chelseajeanene !! And try not to stress momma! I had to exclusively pump and my LC said it was normal to get a little something the first time and then nothing for a few pumps. Even when I started getting milk it was slow in coming!
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  • BabyBugutskyBabyBugutsky member
    No advice unfortunately but just wanted to say you are doing amazing! Just keep trying and everything will come!
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  • PregNancyClarkPregNancyClark member
    After our emergency c section with DS1, it took over 52 hours for my milk to come in and I got almost nothing when they had me pump for him! Then On day three it was like WHOA!!!! It's so weird- they discouraged me too and hurt my feelings. The nurses. It was so disappointing and totally confusing and emotional.
    But! We got through it! You will too!! You're tough and committed! And I agree with the others HE IS ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE!!! You can do this!! Keep going and remember: you are his mama and you were designed to care for him! You know what's best and you can do whatever you need to do, and leap over any obstacle to provide for him! You're doing great.
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  • DidiVaioDidiVaio member
    I forgot! If you think it's necessary to pump (I don't, just try lots of skin to skin) try when your LO is on your other breast as you increase hormones that help you produce milk.
    You're going to make it, I'm sure, honey!

    Btw, your baby boy is really the cutest little boy!
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  • irenejeanirenejean member
    Thanks for this post! My baby came yesterday, and we're having the same difficulties. I pumped early this morning and got some colostrum, then pumped again and got hardly anything. I was feeling discouraged, but I feel better now after reading about others' experiences and seeing all these tips!
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  • smiversensmiversen member
    I had similar issues with my little guy! I did skin to skin right after birthing him and was expecting him to suck ten minutes later. He was born at 5:09 am and we didn't get him to latch until 6:50, even then he only sucked for about two minutes. It took three nurses and me...felt so awkward having all those hands squeezing my boobs lol. I continued to have issues with him not wanting to wake up and eat - we ended having to hand milk me (I felt like a cow) onto a spoon and spoon feed him. His blood sugar level then got too low so they had to syringe feed him some formula. They had me start pumping just so I would have some milk on hand because every now and again he would take a bottle. We got home and he was still so sleepy and I couldn't get him to wake up to eat and it was so frustrating because they're supposed to eat every three hours! I was ready to give up and just pump fresh milk for him to drink in a bottle for every feeding but tried to get him to latch one more time and it's been pretty smooth sailing from there!!! I want to say that was about three days after he was born so hang in there!! I haven't read any previous posts so I'm probably repeated what others have said, but try to relax and don't get stressed - baby can sense that! And if it doesn't work, then so be it. Baby will be just fine :)
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  • May14th2011May14th2011 member
    My first was an emergency c-section so I understand (mostly) what you're going through.
    Hang in there mama. Your milk will come in, and it sounds like your sweet baby is figuring it out.
    Be kind to yourself, give yourself time to recover and watch for PPD.
    And if breastfeeding doesn't work (or you decide you don't want to do it ) that's okay. Don't stress about it. We live in a marvelous time where formula can be used to feed our babies if needed (or wanted).
    Do what's right for you. Big hugs!
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  • chelseajeanenechelseajeanene member
    Another question...

    Since my nipples are larger and flat they said that makes it harder to know to latch on. Will a breast shield help with that? I asked the LC's but they said to just try harder. But if it will work better I would much rather just do that. Any experiences with them?
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  • seg6394seg6394 member
    I don't know about nipple shields, but are you squeezing the breast to make a "boob sandwich"? I always have to squeeze mine to get him to latch initially. Hope that helps!
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  • BeachBabe22BeachBabe22 member
    I used a nipple shield with my daughter for about two months and it really helped her latch on and stay on. Everyone said it would be hard to get her off of it but eventually I was able to without a problem.
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  • hopeful87-2hopeful87-2 member
    My lactation consultant also said not to be discouraged if you pump less because babies are actually able to get more from your body than your pump is. So if your little man is nursing at all he may be getting more than you think is available based on what you are able to pump.
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  • chelseajeanenechelseajeanene member
    seg6394 said:

    I don't know about nipple shields, but are you squeezing the breast to make a "boob sandwich"? I always have to squeeze mine to get him to latch initially. Hope that helps!

    Yeah I'm doing that too, he just doesn't stay latched to it so I'm doing it every 30 seconds or so
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