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August 2015 Moms
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I think it's rude...

sjra1028sjra1028 member
in August 2015 Moms
My daughter is 7 weeks old now. My husband has 2 brothers and 1 sister. One of his brothers has been in constant contact with us about our baby. My SIL & other BIL haven't even acknowledged her existence. We've tried contacting them on fb to make them feel apart of her life. I sent out birth announcements the week after she was born, too. We used to talk on fb at least once a week until I got pregnant. I just don't get it... I think it's rude bc it's not like we got a puppy... It's their niece!
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Re: I think it's rude...

  • Miz_LizMiz_Liz member
    That is very bizarre. Were they like that with your other kids?
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  • sjra1028sjra1028 member
    According to my husband, they were overjoyed when his first 2 kids were born. We've been together for 4 years now, and I've only met my SIL once bc she's in the airforce and lives on the other side of the country. She's still had contact with my step son AND my son. My youngest BIL loves my boys, but has since stopped coming over. I'm wondering if maybe they're over the idea of my husband procreating. That's my little joke/coping mechanism I guess.
    It's just strange!
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  • toccoaparkertoccoaparker member
    Odd, does it possibly have something to do with her stay in the NICU? Like maybe it still doesn't seem real to them that she's here because of her legthy stay at the hospital?.. I agree it is strange behavior, sorry you're having to deal with that!
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  • prpl11butterflyprpl11butterfly member
    DS is 3 weeks tomorrow and just met my brother yesterday. My brother lives with my parents (he is 26 though so it's not like he depends on anyone), less then a mile from us. He didn't come to the hospital when he was born because he works 3rd shift. He could have shown up at my house anytime over the past few weeks and didn't. Neither I nor DH heard from him at all. The only acknowledgement of DS was a text to my mom while I was in labor to tell his nephew to hurry up. Im not mad at him, it doesn't bother me in the least. I am sure its a little awkward for him. On that note, my grandmother hasn't met DS either (dads mom) and she lives less then a mile in the other direction.

    They may have reasons for lack of communication. Could be any number of things they are coping with. Be patient, hopefully they will contact you and have a logical reason for being distant. And, if you find out they don't have a good excuse, just try to let it go. It sounds like you all have good relationships up to now and wouldn't be worth losing over 1 thing (though the birth of their niece is and should be recognized as a big deal). Try not to stress yourself out over it too much.
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  • sjra1028sjra1028 member
    It didn't bother me too much at first. My husband is kind of offended bc he's really close to them and he hasn't heard a word from them. Just one of those things I guess.
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  • sjra1028sjra1028 member
    @kat+1 that might be it for my SIL, but she also just signed up for two more tours to Afghanistan. I guess I'm just going to have to let it go. We've tried contacting them, so we did our part I guess.
    Also, my SIL didn't like the name we chose. I had almost forgotten about that.
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  • sjra1028sjra1028 member
    My youngest BIL finally came over today to meet Anna Lisa! I was blunt and asked him why he was so distant now. I learned that my daughter was born on the 9th anniversary of my MIL's death. My husband didn't even tell me that. His mother committed suicide, so it's not a topic we discuss. I just can't believe it. :( I feel terrible about it now.
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  • toccoaparkertoccoaparker member
    Whoa, so sorry about that! At least there is some clarity now..
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  • gulimzgulimz member
    Oh wow! But still, that's not the baby's fault she was born on that day.
    My mom had went off on my grandmother because my daughter was almost born August 7th (my grandfather passed away on that day 7 yrs ago) and my grandmother was freaking out and my mom told her a baby comes when a baby comes and not to tie in a tragedy with a joyous occasion.
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  • cseley321cseley321 member
    Ouch... I wish your husband had mentioned that to you. I'm glad you finally met up with the BIL though. Good luck!
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  • drummondstdrummondst member
    Oh woah :(
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  • prpl11butterflyprpl11butterfly member
    Woah, that's a big one. I'm happy to hear there has been some progress with BIL.

    Perhaps SIL signed up for 2 more tours because she can't have kids (or more kids) and it will be distraction?
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