December 2015 Moms

Friend almost 4 weeks overdue....wth!

c000501c000501 member
edited September 2015 in December 2015 Moms
So my friend was due last month, she's been told 2-3 times after two membrane sweeps that if she doesn't go in a few days they will induce her, but then don't. Now they may wait until Tue. They have not done scans, given her cervadil, or tested her blood about placenta function! All of her multiple scans over this pregnancy have shown she's on time, now all of a sudden the Dr is saying she's a couple weeks off. Also the last week or so the Dr keeps saying the baby is 8lbs which makes no sense either considering about 6 or so weeks ago the Dr guessed the baby at 6lbs....so in 6-7 weeks later the baby only gained 2lbs....doesn't add up. I'm worried about all this, am I nuts? I don't think so. Feedback is appreciated.
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Re: Friend almost 4 weeks overdue....wth!

  • If the doctors aren't inducing her, then things must not be what they seem. My office said they don't like to let women go over 41 and that 42 is pushing it. I find it hard to believe they'd let her go to 44. Try not to worry too much. You have your own pregnancy to keep up with. Best of luck to your friend. Hope her baby comes soon.
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  • The rate of stillbirth goes up exponentially after 42 weeks due to (usually) issues with the age of the placenta. If she truly is 44 weeks, that's scary. But maybe her dates were wrong? Size prediction is notoriously wrong. I am sure they are monitoring her closely but hopefully she will get some answers/go into labor soon.

    It sounds like there's more to the story that maybe she doesn't know or isn't sharing...
  • I believe we were taught that weight estimates based on measurement prior to birth had something like a 25% acceptable margin of error....it was so high I remember wondering how they can use it as data point. So, I'm not sure I'd be overly concerned about weight estimates. However, being overdue has risks like baby having a bowel movement prior to birth and getting it in their lungs and stuff. Did they change her due date? Is your friend refusing interventions like a csection or induction methods? (I know you said they swept and did some type of medication--i don't know much about induction).
  • Is this a new doctor?
  • Can she go for a second opinion?
  • She told the Dr she wanted to be induced yesterday but the Dr said to wait. She knows to the day about when she had sex that month, which was once...all the dating was on...so this is confusing. The Dr had originally had her due date around the 24th of July but then moved it to Aug 10th when she had her first couple of scans that lined up more with that. So this is just too long and I want her to be ok and baby too. They haven't done a scan, blood work or anything so how can they say the baby hasn't pooped or the placenta is fine? My Dr and all the ladies on our team said their Dr would not allow this either. She's 3weeks 4 days overdue from am already pushed out to Aug 10th due date.... I usually go early with my babies so I don't know anything about being overdue but I do know this is insane. Plus her and I had periods a week apart that month so that is crazy too...putting that in puts her at the original end of July date....she could have ovulated late but not a month...
  • Gosh, that does sound bad. I'm wondering where she could even go to get a second opinion.... July 24 was a longgggg time ago :(
  • Yes and she sent me scan pictures during her pregnancy so I know she wasn't holding information from me. I just want to know all will be well, this is her first baby so sometimes I think that's why she doesn't realize to advocate more... This is my third so experience of asking questions and advocacy come with finding out more information all the time. I'm just keeping my fingers crossed for her.
  • Sorry she's going through all this. Please let us know what happens - you are so right- you have to be your own advocate! Can you go to a dr appt with her or call the office with her if she's nervous to speak up? Is she worried?
  • Her mom is with her and has been going to these last few appointments with her. I don't want to overstep bounds but concerned. My friend has a slight aloof personality so I know she asked to be induced but she isn't the type of person to persist. She's not afraid to ask questions but I think she's a bit clueless what to ask for so certain things go unasked.
  • That's crazy. If this is true, she needs a second opinion ASAP. Like last week.
  • I know! I called my Dr office this morning and they were mortified. They said that's not their policy ever! They feel that there is something not lining up too but thyley can't do anything...they said I should keep telling her to keep asking to be induced.
  • I agree on second opinion. Also, are you sure she was due 4 weeks ago? It seems pretty standard that NO doc lets you go past 42 weeks. I may be overstepping, but maybe she was just hoping to have the baby by a certain date if she thought she ovulated at a different time than doctors were telling her she was due. ?? 

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  • Her original due date was the end of July...I saw a scan. Then the Dr moved it to Aug 10th based on scans, I saw those too. So not sure how the Dr is allowing this, especially with not doing scans, blood work or anything else to make sure baby is fine. I haven't heard from my friend, her mom has been communicating with me now.
  • Is this an ob/gyn or a family practice doctor?  I think I'd drive myself to labor and delivery and ask for another opinion from an ob.

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  • It seems strange that her body hasn't kick started labor on its own if she is a month overdue? I would definitely be concerned either way though and want a lot more information. I ovulated a month late, just fyi, it very much is possible. However my dating scan was performed super early and my midwives have never wavered from my due date. Hugs and prayers for you and your friend!
  • I too would have her get a second opinion. But now I also know when my grandmother was pregnant with my mom she was due in the beginning of February and my mom was fibally born at the end of march. So it does happen. And my mom was born in 75 so it wasn't that horribly long ago.
    And just because it turned out okay for my mom and grandmother if I were in that situation I wouldn't hesitate to get a second opinion.
    Prayers sent to your friend.
  • The first week overdue she was 2cm 60% effaced, the second week 3cm 60% effaced and the third week which was Monday 3cm 80% effaced.... So very slow progress so far. Her mom is with her and she sends me updates. I can't thank you all enough!
  • Dang. It's one thing if mom wants to wait until the baby comes naturally, but another if you want it out and it's a month late! I would have a fit.

    But, at least there are signs of progression.
  • alysa03 said:

    I too would have her get a second opinion. But now I also know when my grandmother was pregnant with my mom she was due in the beginning of February and my mom was fibally born at the end of march. So it does happen. And my mom was born in 75 so it wasn't that horribly long ago.
    And just because it turned out okay for my mom and grandmother if I were in that situation I wouldn't hesitate to get a second opinion.
    Prayers sent to your friend.

    Dude, I feel old. Haha. I was born in 1977. My mom says that I was a couple weeks overdue. However, even though the 1970s wasn't all that long ago, it was 40 years ago and dating due dates was way more of an estimate than it is now.

    It is more likely that the estimation was off than your grandmother was actually almost two months overdue.

    Jamie


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  • I wasn't going to comment before. This post actually freaked me out as I am a FTM to be (God willing). I really think that either she has not given you the entire story or that she needs to take herself to an ER and get a 2nd and 3rd opinion. This situation sounds a bit off and for her safety and health, as well as her baby's, she should get a 2nd and 3rd opinion. Maybe this a unique circumstance and all will be fine. But I, personally, would not risk it and I think that she should not continue to wait.
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  • I agree with all the second opinion options here. I don't like to doubt doctors buuuut this sounds a bit excessive. I hope all is well for her and I understand your concern. My ex roomie and best friend is preggo too and on her 38th week (eek!). We are both having girls so I understand your concern and excitement.
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  • elbouelbou member
    edited September 2015
    Cmagno said:
    It seems strange that her body hasn't kick started labor on its own if she is a month overdue? I would definitely be concerned either way though and want a lot more information. I ovulated a month late, just fyi, it very much is possible. However my dating scan was performed super early and my midwives have never wavered from my due date. Hugs and prayers for you and your friend!

    I was going to say the same thing. It's actually happened in 2 of my 4 pregnancies, so yes...totally possible.

    The rest of her story does have me worried too. I did not want to be induced at all with my third baby, and would rather wait for him to come on his own. My MWs were fine with that as long as I had an ultrasound every other day to monitor DS and my placenta. So the fact that, as far as you know, she has had no scans or tests to monitor that is very worrisome! Please keep us updated, and continue urging her to get a second (or third, as PP suggested) opinion!


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  • The father is an ex boyfriend. They were broken up for about 5 months then long story short slept together this one time, then ..... Pregnant. He's a very uninvolved and immature person and pops in and out when it's convenient for him.....so we will see if he's in his daughters life when she arrives. He won't be at the hospital during delivery, he said he will visit after she's home. He also lives about 2 hours away
  • MrsBwIVF said:

    I'm glad your friend has her mother going to her appts but where is the child's father in all of this?

    This is a good question. I went in a few days overdue with DS and hubby asked the OB to induce. She had already said her preference was not to go over 41 weeks but would agree to wait longer with close monitoring. When hubby said that she looked to me and I agreed I was ready. All on the same page she scheduled it for a couple days later.

    Partner's can advocate as much as mother-to-be. It's their baby in there too.
  • c000501 said:

    The father is an ex boyfriend. They were broken up for about 5 months then long story short slept together this one time, then ..... Pregnant. He's a very uninvolved and immature person and pops in and out when it's convenient for him.....so we will see if he's in his daughters life when she arrives. He won't be at the hospital during delivery, he said he will visit after she's home. He also lives about 2 hours away

    That's terrible that he isn't very involved.
    I'm not making accusations about your friend but does he perhaps think it may not be his?
    I've known of a lot of men that don't get involved until after the paternity test results come back. And it didn't matter that they were the only possible father, some men just need to see it in writing before they can accept it.
    Whatever the case, I hope he wises up soon.
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  • He is the father and knows it but they will do a paternity test either way. He had plans and this kinks it up, so when he wants he does the right thing when he's not in a good mood or whatever he accuses her of trapping him and the like and tries to tell her how custody will go. He even said when she's on maternity leave they should split 50/50, so ridiculous! Of course she said no way and will go to court after leave to get things arranged....stressful situation, she's great, sweet and nice and he's a D-bag....good looking and manipulation with words kept bringing her back. She learned the hard way now has to deal with him forever. Her family "hates" him and none of her friends care for him either. I'm the only one she shares things with since she knows how I feel about things but want to support and listen to her.
  • This is just crazy to me - if it's true she was due Aug 10 then this is dangerous territory. Can you advise her to go to labor and delivery or the ER and get them to do a scan? She needs to push for this harder - no pun intended. Her OB could be facing a lawsuit if anything happens to this baby and he let her go to 44 weeks without checking the baby's welfare. 
  • I don't mind doubting docs myself, but I also agree that this seems like we are missing info here. That being said my mom was 3-4 weeks overdue with all of us, and we were all fine, even the sis who had complications. I know dating was not super accurate back then, but there were 7 of us, so it seems more consistent, & we were all HUGE, 8 1/2 being the smallest(me.) I say this to let you know that there is a very good chance your friend's baby will be fine, even if it is so long overdue. But I am the youngest & was born in 78, from what I've heard no doc would go past 42 weeks today. I would give her advice to go to L & D as PPs have mentioned, tell her mom you think this as well, & then let her mom be her advocate. As someone else said, you have your own pregnancy to worry about & should accept that mayb you don't know all the pertinent info here, if your friend is not taking this advice, maybe she has a reason. Try not to stress yourself out over this & be there for her & not judge her when she does have the baby, no matter what the circumstances were which lead up to this. That's the best way to support her. Good luck!
  • MegStark said:

    I'm sorry. We don't have a lot of info here, but like PP have pointed out, this is crazy and sounds fishy. My guess (granted, I'm an internet stranger who doesn't know your friend) is that if she slept with her ex one time and it would've put her due date a month ago, but she's still pregnant and getting an actual doctor's care, she probably has the wrong baby daddy in mind.

    This is making me think of the office, except the other way around for Angela when she went into premature labor but the baby was looking full term.
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  • redfallon said:

    alysa03 said:

    I too would have her get a second opinion. But now I also know when my grandmother was pregnant with my mom she was due in the beginning of February and my mom was fibally born at the end of march. So it does happen. And my mom was born in 75 so it wasn't that horribly long ago.
    And just because it turned out okay for my mom and grandmother if I were in that situation I wouldn't hesitate to get a second opinion.
    Prayers sent to your friend.

    Dude, I feel old. Haha. I was born in 1977. My mom says that I was a couple weeks overdue. However, even though the 1970s wasn't all that long ago, it was 40 years ago and dating due dates was way more of an estimate than it is now.

    It is more likely that the estimation was off than your grandmother was actually almost two months overdue.
    All of this.

    I truly hope this isn't true.
  • So far she isn't at the hospital yet....I'll just have to wait and see. If she hasn't given me all the information that's fine but she knows I'm the least likely person to judge about anything with my friends. I just want a healthy outcome for both. I'll keep everyone posted.
  • @MegStark I'm with you, sounds like she might be wanting to act like she is overdue when maybe her due date isn't here yet so it will look like her ex is the baby daddy. My doctor said they will induce by 41 weeks but you can ask earlier if your at your due date. I hope that if she truly is this far over she is getting good medical care.
  • He's the dad... She's not the type to be with more than one person at a time.... That's the concerning part, when I've asked about scans and tests for these past 3-4 weeks, none of that has been done.... If people are overdue that's fine but every other person who was over said they were closely monitored, just not sure why my friend isn't. I'm just waiting to hear from her or her mom.
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