Hey Bumpies,
I would love to get some friendly debate going (emphasis on friendly). What do you think it says to working women when someone in a public role takes a short (2 week) maternity leave (that they also plan on working through)? Do you think her decision impacts how all moms (working & SAHM) are perceived? Any other thoughts on the news?
Just curious and would love everyone's thoughts!
Re: Marissa Mayer (CEO of Yahoo) announces abbreviated (2 week) mat leave post twins
DS: 18 months
Dx DOR AMH .2
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I read an article that talked about this coming on the heels of her requiring remote employees (ie, work from home) to start reporting to the office daily. That seems rather 2 sided to me, but CEO's do get better perks than the mail guy.
I'm not a great fan of hers, but a woman's choice to take a lengthy maternity leave...or not...should not be denigrated. It's the worst kind of double standard. The length of maternity leave does not reflect the quality of a mother.
ETA - And her choice says nothing about ME as a working mother. If I had a full time nanny, I might take a 2-4 week maternity leave. I love my job and I love my children and have taken everything from an 8 week to a 7 month maternity leave. In certain circumstances I wouldn't hesitate to take a 2 week one.
We just shouldn't judge.
I do think her situation is different than the average mom. If she can setup a nursery next to her office and hire help then good for her (I would consider that option if it was me!) I honestly couldn't imagine going back to work after two weeks-- I can even imagine getting dressed up after two weeks!
But I think it's all about mutual respect for moms, if she can do it great for her.
I think she is acting a bit irresponsibly. Even if she had a perfect pregnancy and perfect labor, her body will still be sore, bleeding, and recovering at two weeks postpartum. She probably works 60-70 hours per week. She needs to take care of herself. Two weeks is nowhere near enough time.
Also, consider the fact that she's having twins. She will likely go early and the kids could possibly still be in the NICU after two weeks. They need her. And she needs to respect her body's need to heal. It kind of blows my mind.
This is for her and her doctor to decide. I wouldn't want some stranger deciding when I "should" go back to work and whether or not I was acting irresponsibly. A woman's body is her own and the rest of the world doesn't get to make health care decisions for her.
And her children will have her. But it's not for us to judge or decide whether that should be two hours a day or 24 hours a day or anything in between.
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/how-marissa-mayers-maternity-decision-affects-young-women-fairchild?redirectFromSplash=true
I won't make a judgement as to whether she's right or wrong, but it does worry me a bit to think she might secretly have similar expectations of other female executives in spite of actually expanding Yahoo's maternity leave policy.
She's noted that she has had an uncomplicated pregnancy and anticipates a similarly easy delivery, and she's done this before. So if that's what SHE wants to do for HER, fine. But he has to be aware of her position and the fact that, as a female CEO, people are going to look to her as an example.
One thing I haven't really seen addressed, though, is what her husband does. Perhaps he'll be the twins primary caregiver while mom is at work? I'm sure she can afford the top quality breast pump or the best formula, not to mention having the freedom to arrange her schedule around pumping/feeding. I don't doubt she has a nanny or two to help her out (and maybe take over some of the night feedings so she can sleep?).
Overall, my biggest concern with a decision like this is for the way it affects women in the workplace as a whole. I'm not blaming MM for any inequalities within our culture, but I wonder if she's thought about the message she's sending to other women who are pursuing high-power careers and also planning to have children.
The standard medical care is 6-8 weeks of recovery time. I don't know one doctor who would encourage a woman to return to work two weeks after birth. Seriously that's grounds for medical malpractice. The guidelines are in place for a reason.
And the reality is others judge whether we are acting irresponsibly all the time. This is why CPS is slammed. People are reported and CPS makes an independent third party decision about how the child is treated. Not saying she is CPS worthy, just using it as an example. I guess we'll just agree to disagree.
The standard medical care is 6-8 weeks of recovery time. I don't know one doctor who would encourage a woman to return to work two weeks after birth. Seriously that's grounds for medical malpractice. The guidelines are in place for a reason.
And the reality is others judge whether we are acting irresponsibly all the time. This is why CPS is slammed. People are reported and CPS makes an independent third party decision about how the child is treated. Not saying she is CPS worthy, just using it as an example. I guess we'll just agree to disagree.
If she can talk and walk, she can do her job. Stay at home moms and small business owners return to work before 6-8 weeks all the time. And CPS isn't even relevant in this conversation.I believe it is a great disservice to all women for us to judge what is an appropriate length of maternity leave.
I will agree to disagree on this topic.
-quote fail-
I don't agree that women are now going to feel like they can't take their leave. If women feel that way it's called codependency. Why should she be required to take a longer leave if she doesn't want it? That's people pleasing and everyone should just focus on themselves and we will all be okay. I think the problem is that women compare our insides to other people's highlight reel. She could have a small army at home to help her that we will never know about because it's not our business. It's unfortunate that her decision caught so much media attention because she is probably the minority for maternity leave.
I don't feel like I'm in the position to say she's right or wrong in terms of how many weeks SHE wants to take off for HER maternity leave, but I do think she needs to be aware that her actions are not simply happening at her home or office, but will be watched by other female CEOs or those with similar ambitions.
Is this going to set a precedent that if you want to be CEO of a company like Yahoo, you either don't have kids or you take the shortest maternity leave possible?
I don't agree that women are now going to feel like they can't take their leave. If women feel that way it's called codependency. Why should she be required to take a longer leave if she doesn't want it? That's people pleasing and everyone should just focus on themselves and we will all be okay. I think the problem is that women compare our insides to other people's highlight reel. She could have a small army at home to help her that we will never know about because it's not our business. It's unfortunate that her decision caught so much media attention because she is probably the minority for maternity leave.
While you make a valid point that we shouldn't compare our actions to others and she should do what feels right, it's still naive to think her actions don't affect others, her being so high profile.
-quote fail-
I didn't say that it doesn't affect others but those that it affects need to examine why. I just think that people should take responsibility for their own thoughts and feelings. What works for you may not work for me. If you now feel guilty for taking maternity leave those are YOUR feelings and there is nothing that SHE is doing to make you feel anyway. Feelings are the responsibility of the person having them. No one can make you feel anything. Just because a famous person does something has absolutely no affect on my life and it's sad that people are so affected by other people's life decisions.
And I hate when people use the word naive in any disagreement.
I find this a little offensive and I know it was not intended to be so. I have dedicated my life to becoming a physician - spent 12 years in school to do so. I have sacrificed more than I care to enumerate. I have spent weekends, nights, holidays in the halls of a hospital. I have held the hands of famiy members as they watched loved ones die and have in turn, missed my own opportunity to say goodbye to my family members as they have died. I have worked my entire life to get here and I do not regret those sacrifices. I am excited to be a mommy in a few short weeks, but my decisions about my maternity leave are mine to make and will be influenced by the needs of my body, my baby, my mind and comments like this try to cast shame on my decisions. I neither agree nor disagree with MM's decisions about maternity leave. I do not know her circumstances, nor do I pretend to. I'm certain she has more than most of us. It is her decision to make, just as I have made mine. I am struggling with your comment because it wreaks of close-mindedness and I can't imagine that was your intention.
To you and @RainNFyre don't take my comment as being judgmental, close minded or shaming. That's not my intention. I'm basing MY opinion on MY own personal experience with my first born and how I felt during my maternity leave and returning back to work. In my mind and my heart, it doesn't make sense. But if it works for you, then great.
I guess I just adamantly and fundamentally disagree with this mentality and find it offensive to both mothers and fathers. While our physical roles may be different, in a healthy relationship of mutual respect and equality, both parents make incredible sacrifices and create immense bonds not only with their children but with each other through the experience of parenthood. My relationship with my child will be special and like nothing I've experienced. It will be the same for my husband and we'll be enjoying it together every step of the way regardless of how we divide different roles.
The above makes me incredibly sad for women who feel this way and women like me who have the expectation to feel this way put on them because of it. It's definitely not how I ever experienced childhood, or parenthood thus far and I am so incredibly grateful for that.