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Marissa Mayer (CEO of Yahoo) announces abbreviated (2 week) mat leave post twins

rms924rms924 member
in October 2015 Moms
Hey Bumpies, 

Maybe it's because I work in the tech industry, but this has been a hot topic of convo recently: https://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2015/09/03/marissa-mayer-s-two-week-maternity-leave-is-bullsh-t.html

I would love to get some friendly debate going (emphasis on friendly). What do you think it says to working women when someone in a public role takes a short (2 week) maternity leave (that they also plan on working through)? Do you think her decision impacts how all moms (working & SAHM) are perceived? Any other thoughts on the news?

Just curious and would love everyone's thoughts! 
Me: 34 DH:38
DS: 18 months   <3
Dx DOR AMH .2
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Re: Marissa Mayer (CEO of Yahoo) announces abbreviated (2 week) mat leave post twins

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  • rms924rms924 member
    @cbolton I had the same thought. I live in the US as well, and work for a very family friendly employer (work from home, 8 weeks paid leave etc). That said, I am taking 8 weeks and I can't help but feel like a wimp because I've already cried about not being able to take the full 12 (since the last 4 aren't paid, I just can't justify it)

    I think it does make it harder for people to make a different decision in the other direction when someone so public says they are only taking two weeks, during which they will be plugged in. For ex. your company can offer x weeks but taking it is a whole different matter...will people view you differently for taking that amount of time off? It makes it seem like the rest of us are doing something wrong or are not committed to our careers...even worse, I think it really undermines the hard work that SAHM put in for their families.  MM makes millions a year and can afford a ton of help around the house/with her kids. For families where the parents are pulling double duty, it's impossible in my mind not to take time off work during mat leave to get things situated. At least in my mind? Maybe I am wrong- ftm and I've always had a hard time balancing adult duties with work.  

    Normally I wouldn't care about what a public figure does, but it sure makes me look bad when MM is working through her pregnancy, and I've already had to work from home at 34 weeks because it's too hot/humid to make the commute into the office/I get dizzy :) Ok, my rant is over LOL.  
    Me: 34 DH:38
    DS: 18 months   <3
    Dx DOR AMH .2
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  • morganabyrdmorganabyrd member
    I think it's important to remember that she did the same with her first child, and she also established a nursery for him connected to her office. I'm sure she will be able to take the new twins to work and have help there with them.

    I read an article that talked about this coming on the heels of her requiring remote employees (ie, work from home) to start reporting to the office daily. That seems rather 2 sided to me, but CEO's do get better perks than the mail guy.
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  • cbolton19cbolton19 member
    I do think she is sending some mixed signals. I completely understand that she has worked really hard to get where she is. That is cool, to each their own. I didn't know she had the ability to bring her newborn(s) to work. That is awesome for her, but not an option for most people. A previous poster mentioned that she could take her child on business trips, also awesome. That is a great thing to have. Again though, a lot of women don't get that. Also, like others have said, she does not have the financial strain that a lot of familes have. She can hire a nanny, or afford the best daycare. I think that if she really is advocating for better family leave then she needs to really make it clear that she does. She gets some added benefits from her position, and that should be clear too that it (most likely) influences her decision and allows her some extra flexibility to come back to work so quickly.
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  • Krysta6Krysta6 member
    I definitely don't want to be the type of person that judges moms at all. Everyone is doing the best they can with what they have. The decisions you make for your children have nothing to do with me. It doesn't make me more or less of a good mother based on how long my maternity leave is or if I'm a sahm.

    I do think her situation is different than the average mom. If she can setup a nursery next to her office and hire help then good for her (I would consider that option if it was me!) I honestly couldn't imagine going back to work after two weeks-- I can even imagine getting dressed up after two weeks!

    But I think it's all about mutual respect for moms, if she can do it great for her.
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  • dw1031dw1031 member
    She's very interesting because although she is only taking a short break, she also improved maternity leave benefits at yahoo. I think that proves that she wants women to have flexibility to do what they want/need to do.
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  • LuccieLuccie member
    It's her business.  I wouldn't judge a man as a father for taking either a 2-week leave or a 2-month leave. I give women the same benefit. She needs to do what's right for her baby, her family, and her body.  

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  • Rikki_5Rikki_5 member
    I don't really see an issue.  And I don't understand why how long a woman takes off or doesn't take off or even if she decides to be a SAHM is a topic for discussion.  She's rich enough she can afford a nanny.  obviously her career is important to her so more power to her.   It is not something I would have chosen even though I loved my job, but to each their own. 
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  • cbowen122cbowen122 member
    saintpaulJess said:
    It says nothing about her as a mother. Nor does an 8 week, 8 month, or 8 year maternity leave say anything about those mothers. I'm not a great fan of hers, but a woman's choice to take a lengthy maternity leave...or not...should not be denigrated. It's the worst kind of double standard. The length of maternity leave does not reflect the quality of a mother. ETA - And her choice says nothing about ME as a working mother. If I had a full time nanny, I might take a 2-4 week maternity leave. I love my job and I love my children and have taken everything from an 8 week to a 7 month maternity leave. In certain circumstances I wouldn't hesitate to take a 2 week one. We just shouldn't judge.

    This. I personally hate that we as women, mothers, and just plain people have to have this conversation at all, but America's history with gender rights and the support (or lack there of, compared to some other countries in the world) that families and especially new mothers get in this country dictates that conversation. I would just love to be able to make my decisions about my family life and working life without having to worry about if people will judge me as being "for women's rights or against women's rights" or "for working mothers or "against SAHMs". Or assuming I'm taking some easy way out as a SAHM or ignoring my children as a working mom. 

    With that being said, I think that Marissa Mayer's decision will likely impact the conversation about maternity leave in America. If we were hearing about the experiences of other high profile mommies out there whose stories and decisions were different, it may even have a positive impact, because maybe people would start to see that there is no right/wrong answer to this question. 

    Taking a two week maternity leave! More power to her, that's one tough mama! But we're all tough mamas :)
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  • saintpaulJesssaintpaulJess member
    jefinley1 said:
    I think that the responsibility to provide sufficient paternity, not just maternity leave benefits to families lies with our society as a whole, not individuals charged with towing some kind of party line on one side of this argument or another. As we are all experiencing, every pregnancy, labor, and delivery is different and cannot be compared. So is every individual's home situation. So many things factor into how much time a woman and her SO decide they need. 

    This woman owes nothing to society in how she makes a very personal decision about her family and her career. Trying to make her decision public property open for judgement simply because she is a public figure is grossly sexist, and representative of a kind of woman on woman sexism fueled by a patriarchal system that benefits from women judging each other. 

    I find the perpetuation of it worse that the actual patriarchal system because we as women have the option to stop doing it to each other. We should put our energy to dismantling a system that thinks it's OK to not offer the option of paid maternity leave, and OK to generally disregard paternity leave entirely, putting the entire responsibility of parenthood directly on the shoulders of the mother from her child's first breath. This woman's decision will only impact the discussion on leave after a child as much as we allow ourselves and society to focus on her personal choice instead of the bigger issue, which is her right and ability to make it. 
    I'd give this 100 Love Its if I could.  Well said.
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  • kfry22kfry22 member
    I see where it sends mixed messages. It's great that she is changing the leave period at Yahoo. And it's also great that she lives a lifestyle that allows her to only take two weeks and take the children with her to work. Not all working moms have that luxury. What it comes down to me is if she has a rough pregnancy or delivery or any complications, I would hope that her doctor would advise a longer leave period. If everything goes well though from what I understand she can handle this as she has done it before. So more power to her! Some women may feel that they only want a few weeks and some may feel they want a few months off. We all get to make those individual decisions for our self. Hers just happened to have made it into the media.
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  • saintpaulJesssaintpaulJess member
    SweetnSassy23 said:

    I think she is acting a bit irresponsibly. Even if she had a perfect pregnancy and perfect labor, her body will still be sore, bleeding, and recovering at two weeks postpartum. She probably works 60-70 hours per week. She needs to take care of herself. Two weeks is nowhere near enough time.

    Also, consider the fact that she's having twins. She will likely go early and the kids could possibly still be in the NICU after two weeks. They need her. And she needs to respect her body's need to heal. It kind of blows my mind.

    This is for her and her doctor to decide.  I wouldn't want some stranger deciding when I "should" go back to work and whether or not I was acting irresponsibly.  A woman's body is her own and the rest of the world doesn't get to make health care decisions for her.

    And her children will have her.  But it's not for us to judge or decide whether that should be two hours a day or 24 hours a day or anything in between.

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  • SweetnSassy23SweetnSassy23 member
    saintpaulJess said:
    SweetnSassy23 said:

    I think she is acting a bit irresponsibly. Even if she had a perfect pregnancy and perfect labor, her body will still be sore, bleeding, and recovering at two weeks postpartum. She probably works 60-70 hours per week. She needs to take care of herself. Two weeks is nowhere near enough time.

    Also, consider the fact that she's having twins. She will likely go early and the kids could possibly still be in the NICU after two weeks. They need her. And she needs to respect her body's need to heal. It kind of blows my mind.

    This is for her and her doctor to decide.  I wouldn't want some stranger deciding when I "should" go back to work and whether or not I was acting irresponsibly.  A woman's body is her own and the rest of the world doesn't get to make health care decisions for her.

    And her children will have her.  But it's not for us to judge or decide whether that should be two hours a day or 24 hours a day or anything in between.

    The standard medical care is 6-8 weeks of recovery time. I don't know one doctor who would encourage a woman to return to work two weeks after birth. Seriously that's grounds for medical malpractice.  The guidelines are in place for a reason.

    And the reality is others judge whether we are acting irresponsibly all the time.  This is why CPS is slammed. People are reported and CPS makes an independent third party decision about how the child is treated. Not saying she is CPS worthy, just using it as an example.  I guess we'll just agree to disagree.

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  • cbolton19cbolton19 member
    MamaOwl15 said:

    For better or worse, her decision sets a precedent for other female executives and other women in her company. There was an article on Linked In that discusses this better than I can:

    https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/how-marissa-mayers-maternity-decision-affects-young-women-fairchild?redirectFromSplash=true

    I won't make a judgement as to whether she's right or wrong, but it does worry me a bit to think she might secretly have similar expectations of other female executives in spite of actually expanding Yahoo's maternity leave policy.

    She's noted that she has had an uncomplicated pregnancy and anticipates a similarly easy delivery, and she's done this before. So if that's what SHE wants to do for HER, fine. But he has to be aware of her position and the fact that, as a female CEO, people are going to look to her as an example.

    One thing I haven't really seen addressed, though, is what her husband does. Perhaps he'll be the twins primary caregiver while mom is at work? I'm sure she can afford the top quality breast pump or the best formula, not to mention having the freedom to arrange her schedule around pumping/feeding. I don't doubt she has a nanny or two to help her out (and maybe take over some of the night feedings so she can sleep?).

    Overall, my biggest concern with a decision like this is for the way it affects women in the workplace as a whole. I'm not blaming MM for any inequalities within our culture, but I wonder if she's thought about the message she's sending to other women who are pursuing high-power careers and also planning to have children.

    This. You said it better than I did. She is setting an example and choosing to talk about her decisions. She really needs to make it clear they are her decisions and not everyone can it will make the same ones.
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  • saintpaulJesssaintpaulJess member
    SweetnSassy23 said:


    saintpaulJess said:


    SweetnSassy23 said:

    I think she is acting a bit irresponsibly. Even if she had a perfect pregnancy and perfect labor, her body will still be sore, bleeding, and recovering at two weeks postpartum. She probably works 60-70 hours per week. She needs to take care of herself. Two weeks is nowhere near enough time.

    Also, consider the fact that she's having twins. She will likely go early and the kids could possibly still be in the NICU after two weeks. They need her. And she needs to respect her body's need to heal. It kind of blows my mind.




    This is for her and her doctor to decide.  I wouldn't want some stranger deciding when I "should" go back to work and whether or not I was acting irresponsibly.  A woman's body is her own and the rest of the world doesn't get to make health care decisions for her.

    And her children will have her.  But it's not for us to judge or decide whether that should be two hours a day or 24 hours a day or anything in between.




    The standard medical care is 6-8 weeks of recovery time. I don't know one doctor who would encourage a woman to return to work two weeks after birth. Seriously that's grounds for medical malpractice.  The guidelines are in place for a reason.

    And the reality is others judge whether we are acting irresponsibly all the time.  This is why CPS is slammed. People are reported and CPS makes an independent third party decision about how the child is treated. Not saying she is CPS worthy, just using it as an example.  I guess we'll just agree to disagree.

    If she can talk and walk, she can do her job. Stay at home moms and small business owners return to work before 6-8 weeks all the time. And CPS isn't even relevant in this conversation.

    I believe it is a great disservice to all women for us to judge what is an appropriate length of maternity leave.

    I will agree to disagree on this topic.
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  • Krysta6Krysta6 member
    edited September 2015
    plumpous said:


    saintpaulJess said:

    It says nothing about her as a mother. Nor does an 8 week, 8 month, or 8 year maternity leave say anything about those mothers.

    I'm not a great fan of hers, but a woman's choice to take a lengthy maternity leave...or not...should not be denigrated. It's the worst kind of double standard. The length of maternity leave does not reflect the quality of a mother.

    ETA - And her choice says nothing about ME as a working mother. If I had a full time nanny, I might take a 2-4 week maternity leave. I love my job and I love my children and have taken everything from an 8 week to a 7 month maternity leave. In certain circumstances I wouldn't hesitate to take a 2 week one.

    We just shouldn't judge.

    Judging comes up here, sure, but I think the big problem is that now women in her company will be hesitant to take the full leave. She sets the example for all women at Yahoo. And the worst is that she has so many advantages that nobody has and she can create a nursery in her office and have a live-in nanny or whatever her heart desires and it's really unfair to parade her ambition when she can do stuff that we at the bottom can't.

    -quote fail-

    I don't agree that women are now going to feel like they can't take their leave. If women feel that way it's called codependency. Why should she be required to take a longer leave if she doesn't want it? That's people pleasing and everyone should just focus on themselves and we will all be okay. I think the problem is that women compare our insides to other people's highlight reel. She could have a small army at home to help her that we will never know about because it's not our business. It's unfortunate that her decision caught so much media attention because she is probably the minority for maternity leave.
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  • MamaOwl15MamaOwl15 member
    I think there will be women who take their full allowed leave and women who think, "if MM only takes 2 weeks, what's she going to think if I take 16?"

    I don't feel like I'm in the position to say she's right or wrong in terms of how many weeks SHE wants to take off for HER maternity leave, but I do think she needs to be aware that her actions are not simply happening at her home or office, but will be watched by other female CEOs or those with similar ambitions.

    Is this going to set a precedent that if you want to be CEO of a company like Yahoo, you either don't have kids or you take the shortest maternity leave possible?

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  • plumpousplumpous member
    Krysta6 said:

    plumpous said:


    saintpaulJess said:

    It says nothing about her as a mother. Nor does an 8 week, 8 month, or 8 year maternity leave say anything about those mothers.

    I'm not a great fan of hers, but a woman's choice to take a lengthy maternity leave...or not...should not be denigrated. It's the worst kind of double standard. The length of maternity leave does not reflect the quality of a mother.

    ETA - And her choice says nothing about ME as a working mother. If I had a full time nanny, I might take a 2-4 week maternity leave. I love my job and I love my children and have taken everything from an 8 week to a 7 month maternity leave. In certain circumstances I wouldn't hesitate to take a 2 week one.

    We just shouldn't judge.

    Judging comes up here, sure, but I think the big problem is that now women in her company will be hesitant to take the full leave. She sets the example for all women at Yahoo. And the worst is that she has so many advantages that nobody has and she can create a nursery in her office and have a live-in nanny or whatever her heart desires and it's really unfair to parade her ambition when she can do stuff that we at the bottom can't.
    -quote fail-

    I don't agree that women are now going to feel like they can't take their leave. If women feel that way it's called codependency. Why should she be required to take a longer leave if she doesn't want it? That's people pleasing and everyone should just focus on themselves and we will all be okay. I think the problem is that women compare our insides to other people's highlight reel. She could have a small army at home to help her that we will never know about because it's not our business. It's unfortunate that her decision caught so much media attention because she is probably the minority for maternity leave.

    While you make a valid point that we shouldn't compare our actions to others and she should do what feels right, it's still naive to think her actions don't affect others, her being so high profile.
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  • LiveNLove44LiveNLove44 member
    jefinley1 said:
    I think that the responsibility to provide sufficient paternity, not just maternity leave benefits to families lies with our society as a whole, not individuals charged with towing some kind of party line on one side of this argument or another. As we are all experiencing, every pregnancy, labor, and delivery is different and cannot be compared. So is every individual's home situation. So many things factor into how much time a woman and her SO decide they need. 

    This woman owes nothing to society in how she makes a very personal decision about her family and her career. Trying to make her decision public property open for judgement simply because she is a public figure is grossly sexist, and representative of a kind of woman on woman sexism fueled by a patriarchal system that benefits from women judging each other. 

    I find the perpetuation of it worse that the actual patriarchal system because we as women have the option to stop doing it to each other. We should put our energy to dismantling a system that thinks it's OK to not offer the option of paid maternity leave, and OK to generally disregard paternity leave entirely, putting the entire responsibility of parenthood directly on the shoulders of the mother from her child's first breath. This woman's decision will only impact the discussion on leave after a child as much as we allow ourselves and society to focus on her personal choice instead of the bigger issue, which is her right and ability to make it. 
    @jefinley1, I think you summed up a significant part of what has made my position so difficult to articulate. 

    My first reaction when seeing it on the news was frustration. I was not frustrated with her as an individual, a woman, or a mother, rather, I was frustrated with the immediate hype and discourse that surrounded it. Those pieces of this puzzle are far more symptomatic of a society of people who use anecdotal and often isolated situations to fuel a debate about far more complex situations. As I read more about how the general public and news outlets are interpreting the announcement, I am settling into where I stand. 

    First, it is important that we keep the conversation going. I believe women and men alike who cite the challenges of generations past who fought for our rights as support for why all women should feel honored to work while pregnant, recovering from labor/delivery, nursing, etc. are shorting us on the whole picture of that cultural shift in our nation's history (speaking specifically to American culture). Women of decades past have forged ahead to ensure we have the right to choose, and that equality in the work place is honored regardless of whether we are male or female. Women of decades past would shake their heads if they came to find that society assumed that, "Well, if one well-established career woman can do it, all women should be able to do it." As a society, if we take that stance, we've missed the mark by a long shot.  

    Second, I believe it is a good thing to have this as part of our national discourse about maternity leave, but we have to use it as a catalyst for change. If we, as women (pregnant or not), target her as working against our cause, we're no better than those who believe her case is a determining factor in granting women appropriate leave following the birth of a child. I am a strong proponent of using our voices for change rather than complaining about what "she should have done" in order to help us. We can all help "us" in the grand scheme; she may have greater coverage, but our voices are many.

    @rms924, thanks for making this part of our conversation here at O15. I love reading how people are feeling about the media coverage in general.
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  • Krysta6Krysta6 member
    plumpous said:

    Krysta6 said:

    plumpous said:


    saintpaulJess said:

    It says nothing about her as a mother. Nor does an 8 week, 8 month, or 8 year maternity leave say anything about those mothers.

    I'm not a great fan of hers, but a woman's choice to take a lengthy maternity leave...or not...should not be denigrated. It's the worst kind of double standard. The length of maternity leave does not reflect the quality of a mother.

    ETA - And her choice says nothing about ME as a working mother. If I had a full time nanny, I might take a 2-4 week maternity leave. I love my job and I love my children and have taken everything from an 8 week to a 7 month maternity leave. In certain circumstances I wouldn't hesitate to take a 2 week one.

    We just shouldn't judge.

    Judging comes up here, sure, but I think the big problem is that now women in her company will be hesitant to take the full leave. She sets the example for all women at Yahoo. And the worst is that she has so many advantages that nobody has and she can create a nursery in her office and have a live-in nanny or whatever her heart desires and it's really unfair to parade her ambition when she can do stuff that we at the bottom can't.
    -quote fail-

    I don't agree that women are now going to feel like they can't take their leave. If women feel that way it's called codependency. Why should she be required to take a longer leave if she doesn't want it? That's people pleasing and everyone should just focus on themselves and we will all be okay. I think the problem is that women compare our insides to other people's highlight reel. She could have a small army at home to help her that we will never know about because it's not our business. It's unfortunate that her decision caught so much media attention because she is probably the minority for maternity leave.
    While you make a valid point that we shouldn't compare our actions to others and she should do what feels right, it's still naive to think her actions don't affect others, her being so high profile.

    -quote fail-
    I didn't say that it doesn't affect others but those that it affects need to examine why. I just think that people should take responsibility for their own thoughts and feelings. What works for you may not work for me. If you now feel guilty for taking maternity leave those are YOUR feelings and there is nothing that SHE is doing to make you feel anyway. Feelings are the responsibility of the person having them. No one can make you feel anything. Just because a famous person does something has absolutely no affect on my life and it's sad that people are so affected by other people's life decisions.

    And I hate when people use the word naive in any disagreement.
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  • MandahGirlyMandahGirly member
    I really liked this article from scary mommy and I think it pretty much sums up my opinion of the whole thing: https://www.scarymommy.com/can-we-all-climb-out-of-marissa-mayers-uterus-for-five-minutes/
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  • mkross123mkross123 member
    Her career, her child, her choice.
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  • valerierose15valerierose15 member
    I get that some women are career driven, determined and hard working. BUT, what I don't understand is how a mother could leave her newborn child (children in this case) just two weeks after they leave her womb. I just don't see ANY career being THAT important. I really don't understand.

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  • ameares721ameares721 member
    I don't care either way because it's not me or my situation, but if I had to guess, I'd say that dads don't get the judgement because they physically did not endure pregnancy and childbirth. Most women aren't cleared to return to working out until 6 weeks postpartum, so it's reasonable to be surprised that she returned to work after 2 weeks.
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  • jefinley1jefinley1 member
    Since when is a desk job equivalent to working out? And if it truly is about her recovery, not some ideal of maternal duty, why does anyone else care or feel the need to judge what she does with her body? And the comment I was addressing was geared specifically to the idea of "leaving her newborn." As though returning to work is paramount to abandonment.
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  • valerierose15valerierose15 member
    I'm not judging - I'm saying I really don't understand. There's a difference between a father who plants this seed and watches the fetus grow (watching the belly get bigger) and the mother who is creating life. And then birthing the child. There's a special bond between a mother and her baby.

    To you and @RainNFyre don't take my comment as being judgmental, close minded or shaming. That's not my intention. I'm basing MY opinion on MY own personal experience with my first born and how I felt during my maternity leave and returning back to work. In my mind and my heart, it doesn't make sense. But if it works for you, then great.
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  • ameares721ameares721 member
    MandahGirly said:

    I don't think it's anyone's business but her and her husbands to determine what is right for their family. There is enough mom shaming that goes on on a daily basis and the fact that some people are questioning her ability as a mother is quite sad. Just because you don't understand doesn't mean you have the right to judge another family's decision.

    Exactly! I can see why people might be talking about it during a time when there is so much discussion over lack of maternity leave coverage in the U.S., but in the end, her decisions in no way impact anyone other than her and her husband/children. It's not like she left them home alone with a dog for a babysitter or something. Is it a quick turnaround? Absolutely! Does it make me an awful employee for taking 12 weeks off work? Nope! I'm guessing this thread was meant to encourage healthy discussion, but sometimes these threads take a turn for the worst and it gets too personal.
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