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August 2015 Moms
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When did you throw in the towel?

samathornsamathorn member
in August 2015 Moms
I am two weeks pp and I'm struggling to exclusively breastfeed my baby. It all started in the hospital when he needed to be supplemented with formula due to slight jaundice and low birth weight. My milk was slow to come in and hasn't come close to really "flowing". Doctors tell me to pump in between feedings but I produce maybe 15ml in one breast and never more than 5ml in the other. I know my boy is latching fine-sucks and swallows in both breasts but building a supply in order to go back to work is a bit of a joke right now, especially when he consumes everything I have and still wants more!! On top of that, doctor has told us to stop supplementing formula and just breastfeed.

I feel inadequate. He wasn't even 5.5 lbs and I had an episiotomy and 4th degree tear and now my breasts are struggling to keep up. I'm supposed to feel empowered by my body and I just feel like I'm failing him at every turn.

I've tried cabbage leaves, warm and cold compresses, pumping, hand expressing, acupuncture, herbal supplements, and mother's milk tea. I'm exhausted and losing hope. All the doctors and lactation consultants contradict one another.

So my question is: how many of you STMs had similar issues? What did you do? If you discontinued breastfeeding when and why? I need inspiration ladies... This plus baby blues and healing is taking me to a new low and I could use some support...

Thanks in advance!
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Re: When did you throw in the towel?

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  • KalikinsKalikins member
    In the end do what you feel is best for your LO. My milk didn't really come in for DD1 but I struggled with it until the doctor became concerned with her weight. For DD2 I had a good supply for like a month, then it cut out. I switched to formula with both of them and I started DS on formula. BFing is not for everyone.
    If you want to continue to BF then try warm showers.
    Best of luck to you. It is your choice and you need to do what is best for you.
    A positive attitude may not solve all of your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. -Herm Albright
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  • bpwife&mamabpwife&mama member
    With my first I really struggled. He was jaundice and also lost weight after birth. I developed bad PPD as a result. I ended up stopping and going to formula. We were both happier. Is breast best? Of course. My toddler is fine though after being formula fed. You're the mama though and you wil do what's best for your baby.
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  • saroos3137saroos3137 member
    I'm sorry you're going through this. Breastfeeding is tough and it doesn't help when what you're told is contradicting. Is your baby's doctor worried about his weight or diaper output? Do the lactation consultants or doctors agree that your supply is low? The reason I ask is because a lot of women think they have low supply when they're actually making plenty.

    Also, pumping isn't a good indicator of how much you're making. Baby is much more efficient at sucking and removing milk.

    If you want to try to breastfeed exclusively, I do agree with stopping formula and only breastfeeding, as supplementing can work against your supply. I'm not sure how much time you have to build a stash for going back to work, but I found that I didn't need to stash as much as I thought because I was able to pump enough at work for the next day. I was told to plan for one ounce of milk for each hour that you'll be away from baby.

    Sorry this is so long, and it probably doesn't answer all of your questions, but know that you're not alone in the breastfeeding struggle and there's lots of support out there!


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  • samathornsamathorn member
    We haven't exclusively breastfed up to this point because of the jaundice, so the doctor just waved us through to exclusive breast assuming I'm able to produce enough. Most of the time in a day I can breastfeed and he falls asleep afterward. But at least twice (usually around midnight and noon) he absolutely screams for more food after I'm tapped dry! DH gets frustrated and gives him formula and he takes down 2oz like its nothing, even after breastfeeding for over an hour! I feel like I'm losing my mind. Diaper output is great after breastfeeding.
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  • meli1112meli1112 member
    I'm glad I'm not the only one having this issue! DS lost over 10% of his body weight while in the hospital, and while he gained a little back before we were discharged, he had lost another ounce when we went to the doctor on Monday. I still breastfeed, but I decided to stop pumping. I wasn't getting much and it felt like that's all I was doing. We started supplementing with 2 oz of formula at each feeding. Sometimes DS drinks it all, sometime he only drinks 1 oz.

    When it all comes down to it, just do what you can to make sure your LO is nourished without driving yourself crazy....that's what I had to do.

    Hugs to you! I know how you feel!
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  • cseley321cseley321 member
    I spoke to my OB while at the hospital and told her about me not being able to keep up with her hunger and that I was getting conflicting information about supplementing. Her recommendation was to BF, pump, then supplement if she's still hungry. We have stuck to that and so far so good
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  • Sangeeta2015Sangeeta2015 member
    I'm a FTM, and had similar issues. My LO was 6 lbs at birth and lost 10% of his weight. He didn't start gaining until Day 10. In my case though, everyone at the hospital as well as the pediatrician were so anti-formula that I felt all this pressure when my son was having trouble gaining. I stuck to breastfeeding and supplementing with expressed milk, however in hindsight I wish I had supplemented with formula and avoided so much unnecessary stress. I felt like I was shamed into sticking with exclusive BF'ing. My two cents: do what feels right for you and your family. GL!
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  • raelynch87raelynch87 member
    I was worried about my supply at first and my step MIL made some lactation cookies that have hemp, flax, cococnut oil, and oatmeal. They certainly weren't low calorie but I ate a ton. I also had lots of the mothers milk tea and over a gallon of water a day. I think the biggest help was letting my baby nurse even when I knew I was empty and pumping even when I got almost nothing (and sometimes nothing). Now I have milk coming out of my ears. Good luck, momma!
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  • samathornsamathorn member
    I used them when I was first engorged. My left breast (the one that doesn't produce now) was so painfully engorged and would not let down. Not for baby not for the pump... It was horrible
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  • cseley321cseley321 member
    samathorn said:

    That's what they told us too, but good lord how do you get anything done?!?! By the time I BF, pump and feed formula it's time to do it all over again. Not good for my sanity...

    Some days I'm just glued to the couch, but my supply seems to be keeping up now so I've just been trying to pump at least 4 times a day but I'm no longer having to supplement for the time being. If I have to start supplementing again, I will not stress out about it. All you can do is try your best.
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  • BrianandKatie2012BrianandKatie2012 member
    This is my exact story too. I decided to formula feed around week 3 and I have never been happier and my baby is healthy and thriving. Do what is best for you and your baby. But don't feel bad at all if you switch!
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  • mdfarmchickmdfarmchick member
    I feel exactly like the OP. I keep getting conflicting information from everyone about this. My LO pretty much stopped eating and chose sleep the 24 hours after my milk came in. He has lost 12% of his birth weight so I've been pumping so that he will eat something. Now, despite having a good latch, he's not really interested in BFing. I have another weight check today but every time I deal with the doctors, I feel like I'm failing their "checklist." I keep reminding myself that any breast milk he gets is winning.
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  • KrystalP2286KrystalP2286 member
    edited September 2015
    I also had many feeding issues starting with latching and 12% weight loss at the hospital. We did the SNS with supplemental formula and I thought I was going to lose my mind. It's hard enough to get your nipple in there correctly, but the tube was even worse. Then, after another referral to a different lactation clinic through Children's Hospital, he decided to stop nursing from the right breast completely. We made the decision to switch to formula, and he's finally gained weight and sleeping much better. I think this switch honestly saved me from a breakdown. I was crying at every feeding and literally felt like a horrible mother for all my thoughts and feelings. Since the switch at 2 weeks, we are all adjusting and enjoying our time together. You definitely have to do what is best for your family!!
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  • samathornsamathorn member
    KrystalP2286 said:

    I also had many feeding issues starting with latching and 12% weight loss at the hospital. We did the SNS with supplemental formula and I thought I was going to lose my mind. It's hard enough to get your nipple in there correctly, but the tube was even worse. Then, after another referral to a different lactation clinic through Children's Hospital, he decided to stop nursing from the right breast completely. We made the decision to switch to formula, and he's finally gained weight and sleeping much better. I think this switch honestly saved me from a breakdown. I was crying at every feeding and literally felt like a horrible mother for all my thoughts and feelings. Since the switch at 2 weeks, we are all adjusting and enjoying our time together. You definitely have to do what is best for your family!!

    Omg. Me too! I cry every day. The feeling that I'm just not good enough to nourish my son the way nature intended is agonizing for me. And it's not like I was a purest about BFing in the first place. I'm close to calling it quits if I can't get these next few options to work...
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  • netters625netters625 member
    I'm so glad I read this, I an 6 days pp and alot of what you are going thru I'm am too execpt with a c section I'm trying to heal from. Officially threw towl in last night after 3 night of baby screaming in hunger and not a dropnof breast milk after 2+ hours of going back and for th between breast....I feel like another thing being taken away from me. I also have been feeling extremly left out because am only getting to feed then change then trying to sleep. Husband gets snuggle time and son gera snuggle time, but I get left out because of trying to feed him. I am averaging about 2 hours of sleep in a 24 hr period, with majortyvof time spent on breast feeding. Ita srarting to effect dh and mine relationship and I feel like I haven't had time to establish a relationship w/ my ds. So breastfeeding I have decided is not as important as our relationships...and ii can't live with no sleep. Doing what's best for our family and will get over any dissapointment i may have with breastfeeding. Just wanted to let youb know you are not alone.
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  • hclzmm14hclzmm14 member
    I had the same issue as you with my first. She had a great latch and suck but I never made enough not to supplement her. At six weeks I had fully weaned her. I felt super guilty at first, for a long time. And then I realized, I did the best I could and the stress of trying to breastfeed her was just not good for either of us.

    With this baby I didn't even last a week because she was born 9 days early and didn't know how to latch or suck. I found this so frustrating and annoying to deal with every two hours or less that I wasn't bonding with her at all. As soon as I decided to switch her fully to formula I was so relieved and we now have a great bond and I love feeding her now.

    Really you have to do what you feel is right for you and your family and not listen to the opinions of other people. A full and healthy baby is a happy baby and makes for a happy mama, no matter if that's via breast or bottle.
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  • gmd88gmd88 member
    edited September 2015
    I'm a FTM and I haven't read most of the replies but I gave up 10 days in. LO was having latch issues and I was beyond stressed. I was a complete anxiety case. I had chest pain and stomach pain. Dreaded feedings. Resented him and was getting frustrated with him. Was afraid to leave the house for fear of a catastrophe when trying to BF in public. It was awful. What I really needed was someone to tell me it was ok to switch to formula. That I wasn't a terrible person and mother. That it was better for my baby to have a happy mother who wasnt in tears 24/7. For me, this was my mom. She exclusively BFed my sister and I and felt very strongly about it but sar how it was tearing me apart. It wasn't right for me and she helped me realize that was alright.

    Honestly, if it's not working for you it is OKAY. Your baby will be fine on formula and your sanity is very important to LO's well being. Don't beat yourself up. Do what is right for you and your family and don't make excuses to anyone. I had an amount of guilt afterwards but honestly it was the best thing for us and I don't regret the switch anymore for a minute.

    Good luck mama.
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  • mrsrfwiimrsrfwii member
    I'm so glad I'm not alone with this struggle. This is baby number 3 for me, and I've struggled with all 3. We were told to supplement with my first because she was jaundice and there was concern about her weight. I feel like my supply never came in. With my second we felt we needed to supplement when she nurses but didn't seem full. For the first two I would BF, pump and supplement for the first 3 months. It just got to the point where I couldn't continue pumping, I got so little for the amount of time it took.

    I decided to give it another go with this baby. And I feel defeated again. I'm back to BF, pump and supplement. But baby is happy and that's what's most important. With two older kids, I probably won't pump as long with this one, but for now I'm giving her as much breast milk as I can.
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  • irohspupilirohspupil member
    It's not throwing in the towel. It's doing what's best for you and your LO.

    My LO nursed roughly every two hours or sometimes for four hours straight just switching from breast to breast, but there were never concerns about her weight gain. We had other problems.
    No matter how much I tried, no matter the hours of research and YouTube video watching I did, no matter the different positions I tried, I could NOT fix her latch so that she didn't swallow so much air. Or so that she didn't tear up my nipples. I had a mental breakdown when she was 18 days because she stopped latching onto me all together. She was basically just chewing on me and I couldn't take it anymore. We started bottle feeding her that day, and I was a crying mess for the following 48 hours. I felt like such a failure and resented not being able to have the breastfeeding relationship I wanted. How could something so natural not work out for us?
    Right now I'm giving her bottles of half formula, half breast milk since I'm unable to pump enough for her to have just breast milk. I no longer dread our feedings since they aren't painful. I'm able to enjoy feeding my baby :). Now she eats every 2.5-3 hours and downs about 1.5oz each of breast milk and formula.


     
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    DD: Aug. 15
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  • jakira92jakira92 member
    samathorn said:

    That's what they told us too, but good lord how do you get anything done?!?! By the time I BF, pump and feed formula it's time to do it all over again. Not good for my sanity...

    Same here, but with twins and a very low supply. First I gave up trying to bf because the pump was more efficient than my premies. Then I gave up pumping and switched to just formula after about 4 weeks; I felt like everyone was holding my babies except me because all I did was pump!!! I feel sad that it didn't work out and foolish for having assumed that it would. In the end, though, I now spend a lot more time actually holding and bonding with both twins.

    You have to weigh the facts of your situation. Any breast milk is good, but in my case, they were missing time being held and cuddled by their mommy for the tiniest bit of breast milk. Sorry for the long answer. I just know exacty how exhausted and frustrated you must be! I also got differing opinions from doctors vs lactation consultants.
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  • sjra1028sjra1028 member
    I threw in the towel after 6 weeks bc I went from producing almost 3 oz to only producing about 15 ml. I tried the vitamins, which put me in the hospital with an inflamed stomach. My dr couldn't prescribe me anything bc of my bp. Power pumping didn't even help. It just left me sore and worn out... And grumpy! Lol
    I realized it was causing more stress than anything on me to pump every 2 hours and only make enough for 1 bottle out of the entire day!
    Do what's best for you! I cried when I had to stop, but it was the best thing for me and my baby bc I wasn't so stressed and could really spend time with her.
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  • pabeybabypabeybaby member
    I'm on the verge of switching to strictly formula. LO will be two weeks tomorrow and I'm only producing a half ounce to maybe an ounce a day, and she eats 2.5oz. She gets way more supplement than breast milk. She won't latch without a shield and she winds up frustrated due to the small amount I produce and it frustrates me too. Plus she fights against me a lot and I've tried different holds but she seems to hate anything I try. I wind up in tears most of the time. Hubby keeps trying to urge me to pump more but it honestly just irritates me because it takes a long time and I still wind up with barely anything for her. All I can think is "yeah how about you try this". Ugh.
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  • diesel115diesel115 member
    Thank goodness for this post. I just had to start supplementing DS last night. He is over his birth weight now and my supply just can't keep up. I cried the whole time he drank that bottle but I know it is what's best for him.

    Thank you to all who have replied here. It is so nice not to feel alone in this!
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  • SashaDenn25SashaDenn25 member
    Just for another perspective, I am successfully breastfeeding and still struggling mentally. I feel like it consumes my life and my time. I dont feel like myself right now and while LO makes me so happy, I am upset as well that it feels like all I do is nurse all day. I have my days where I debate about just going to a bottle just to try to have real time with her. IMO, theres nothing wrong with how you nourish your child even if you have the ability to nurse them from the breast. Everyones circumstances are different and you have to do whats best for LO and you.
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  • taylorharris01taylorharris01 member
    I completely understand. We are 3w3d PP and I struggled with BF. My son was born 7lb 7ounces after having an unexpected c section I was exhausted and in pain. I tried so hard to BF and he struggled to latch. He was so fussy from being hungry we had to suppliment. Hospital nurses and laction consultant all had something different to say. End result my son was under fed and ended up losing a pound. Pediatrician said we needed to suppliment more which made DS happy but contributed again to our latching issue. After crying all the time and cycling through depression and anxiety. At two weeks we moved to strictly FF. I am so much happier because I feel my son and I are bonding because I'm happy and he's happy because he has a full belly! Sometimes I'm sad we are not BF. But overall I am happy that I know when my son ate, how much, and that he is full. I also was having issues with my supply. I had an infection that resulted in my c-section incision being re-opened. Needless to say it was rough and I experienced baby blues. But now we are in a much happier state and on a better path! But that is just OUR story.
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  • kettlekittenkettlekitten member
    I'm struggling as well. BFing is painful for me and was really sore for up to 6 months with my first baby so I know it's not going to be a quick fix with this one. I have been mostly pumping with 1-2 BFs per day (which are still painful). My supply started going up which was great, but has now gone down to about 70ml per pumping session, and I'm not sure what to do. I have tried pumping extra and for longer to get my supply going. I can't get ahead so I only ever have one bottle in the fridge. I got ahead earlier today but then DS seemed so hungry I gave him the extra bottle. When I tried to pump again to get another bottle ready, I only got 40ml. Feeling quite despondent about it all really!! I had high hopes it would be easier for the second baby :(
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  • gulimzgulimz member
    Marissalynn0620 said:

    I pretty much exclusively BF. I put him on my breast usually before and after each feeding, and when he is hysterical it seems to be the only thing that calms him. I too have been struggling to get my milk supply. I actually do not have anything near a supply. I am always only one bottle ahead. It is so hard. I supplement with formula since week 3. I felt like I had given in too soon, or I was inadequate as a women not making enough milk for my baby. But soon enough I was realizing, you know what? My baby needs to eat and I would be selfish to want to only give him breastmilk and not give him enough food. You have to do what's best for you and your baby. There is absolutely nothing wrong with supplementing. Don't be so hard on yourself mama because It sounds like you are doing everything you can and more.

    This.
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