Boyfriend doesn't want the baby, but wants to stay together.

botanicazilla · July 2015

I am only 10 weeks. Will he change his tune once he sees the baby? I am 37 and he is 35. We've been together for two years. Never used protection because I didn't think I could get pregnant. However, he always knew I'd keep the baby if it happened. This is making it very hard for me to feel affectionate toward him at all. As a matter of fact, most days I feel very resentful. We used to have a great time together. Financially I don't know how I can make it work without him but sometimes I wish I was single. It's almost like he thinks I'm still gonna be his girlfriend and live with him but he is going to carry on his life as if there is no baby in it. I feel like I'm going crazy.

PlainJane8350 · July 2015

Thinking of you.

Snoflakes4eva · July 2015

botanicazilla said:

I am only 10 weeks. Will he change his tune once he sees the baby? I am 37 and he is 35. We've been together for two years. Never used protection because I didn't think I could get pregnant. However, he always knew I'd keep the baby if it happened. This is making it very hard for me to feel affectionate toward him at all. As a matter of fact, most days I feel very resentful. We used to have a great time together. Financially I don't know how I can make it work without him but sometimes I wish I was single. It's almost like he thinks I'm still gonna be his girlfriend and live with him but he is going to carry on his life as if there is no baby in it. I feel like I'm going crazy.

I would never be with someone who didn't love and accept my child. Have you asked him what his expectations are for the future?

To the bolded: financially he would owe you child support, whether he chooses to be in the baby's life or not.

sidey1 · July 2015

I agree with PP in that I don't know how you can maintain a relationship with your BF if he's going to out right reject the child that you're having together. It's not like you went out and got pregnant with someone else's kid, it's HIS child and he has to be responsible at least from a financial perspective whether he wants to or not. You are both in your mid-30's and your BF should be able to handle this maturely, if he can't I'd be looking at why you'd want to be with him in the first place baby or no baby..

Ultimately you have a long road ahead of you and any decision you make is entirely up to you, but what's he going to do when your 30 weeks pregnant, just pretend that your not? What about when you deliver the baby? I just don't get how that will work..

jerseygirl227 · July 2015

I'm so sorry that you are going through this.

How long has he known about the baby? If it's only been a short time, then he may just need time to get used to the idea. To be honest, I kinda freaked out when I learned I was pregnant. We just assumed we were too old for it to really happen, so we didn't really mentally prep for such a big life change. It took me a while to accept and embrace the exciting new beginnings ahead. Maybe that's where your boyfriend is.

Good luck. And congrats on the baby!!!

6kidscount · July 2015

I went through this with the father of my now thirteen year old and was horrible he pretty much ignored the fact I was pregnant the whole time and made me stressed out I kept hoping he would change when she was born but I had her and he held her for 2 minutes with no expression then left for home. He did get warmed up to it but we broke up 4 Years later because he was never around. Some guys just never grow up

HWKI · July 2015

So sorry you are going through this. Would he agree to a few counseling sessions to try to work through this - if you want to continue a relationship with him? Perhaps then you'd know if he was just scared or truly doesn't want a child. If your best friend came to you with this scenario what would you tell her? My guess would be that she and her child deserve a man who will make them both feel loved and wanted.

MelJav · July 2015

No matter what you always make it work financially. If teenagersakr ot work, u can too. Your a grown adult. At your age this is probably your only shot to have a child. If u are thinking about termination only because of him - then you need to rethink your relationship. Some people don't want kids. That's ok. But to not have a kid cause of someone else is foolish. He's not even your husband and I am not judging but sounds selfish to me.

niknak1208 · July 2015

I'm so sorry that he's not being supportive. Unexpected pregnancy can be scary and stressful. We just had our third child. He was not planned which is so unlike our first two kids. I'll be honest.. I thought we were done at 2 and even though it was exciting it took a while for it to sink in.

That said, he should still be respectful of you and what you're feeling right now. I was the one that was scared and nervous. My DH, who I thought would feel like I did, was actually over the moon about it.

I think you need to do what you need to do. If that's keeping the baby, then you keep the baby regardless of him. If you terminated based on his feelings.. You'd have a hard time forgiving yourself I think.

.

Just remember that we are stronger than we think we are and things somehow have a way of working out. I hope he comes around.

sameeha32 · August 2015

You need to decide what is the right decision for you and not him . Don't base your decision t o keep or terminate the pregnancy off of what he wants. A baby is a life long decision and the most precious give you will ever be blessed with. Guys come and go but a real man will stay forever and except his responsibility. Remember what one won't do the next man will. You have time but think and decide wisely.

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