I've been emotional. I cried tonight in a discussion with my husband because of something really silly and I was so embarrassed ten minutes later for overreacting. However, you seem to have gone beyond any rational train of thought when it comes to this situation. I think you realise this though and are trying to find a solution, not for someone to say "oh hunny, it's totes ok to behave like that!" because you must know it's not.
You actually have to make a decision to let this all go and start fresh. I would apologise to your husband and ask to move on. I would probably apologise several times. If you feel this anger bubbling up again maybe re-read what you wrote here to remind yourself of what it can lead to. I'm no expert but this level of emotion (especially if it's totally out of character for you) is not really a normal pregnancy 'symptom'. If you can't seem to get past this, you should get advice from your doctor. Good luck!
It seems to me that you realize where you were in the wrong and that this is your hormones. Have you told him all of this? I think that if you told him exactly what you just wrote out here you could feel better. He doesn't understand all the hormones, he's never been pregnant. He's trying his best but you need to help him understand and apologize, allow him to understand and be there for you.
I have similar problems with my husband when he is out of town and doesn't call or text me for a long time. I get really mad and worried and we end up fighting. I do tend to overreact and end up regretting it. He just doesn't get my worrying. I try to make him understand how much I worry and that he really needs to let me know better what is going on. I think guys just think very differently. They get busy and distracted and don't see it as a big deal. I would accept the apology but try to let him know to call next time.
You just have to set very clear expectations of what you'd like from him in terms of checking in. Guys aren't very good at interpreting requests so be clear. Say something like "when you are gone for long periods of time it makes me worry. If you wouldn't mind at least shooting me a text every 2-3 hrs so I know everything is ok that would be great." You need to be direct with what you want so you don't blow up at him for not mind reading.
Married 9/17/11
BFP 10/5/13
DS Oliver Stephen born 6/11/14 via C-section 8 lbs 9 oz
BFP 8/14/15
I would tell him exactly what you told us. He has no idea all the craziness that we go through with the pregnancy hormones and he is probably just as confused as you are. Be up front and honest with him and for sure apologize and then just try and move on. Let him know how terrible you feel and that you do understand many of your thoughts and feelings after the fact seem silly, petty and even irrational.
Slow down. I think you may be a little irrational right now and need to just take breath and think about everything that has happened.
I get that you're upset and emotional. I get upset when my husband is gone for long periods of time and doesn't call or text so I TOTALLY get that part. But think about it, it could have been so much worse. He could have been gone the whole weekend, he could have not called you at all, he could have thought all of that was ok and not apologized for anything.
I think you should talk to him. Apologize and explain to him exactly what you told us. Tell him what you need. He sounds like he'd be willing to listen and although won't ever really understand what you're going through, he might be more sensitive to it and your feelings.
Don't let another day go by without talking to him. Letting it stew won't help anything. You'll feel better, I promise.
Good luck.
I understand where you are coming from. When I was pregnant with my first, if he even got a sliver I would have a heart attack. I was constantly worried about him and one time when he gave blood, I swear I almost fainted on the spot thinking about a needle going in his arm. With that aside, your hormones are deff going crazy right now. Im in the same boat with you. I have been so snappy with my husband lately and I am exactly 8 weeks as well. Eventually you will have to let it go and accept his apology as long as he understands where you are coming from too. It's tough dealing with these hormones, but you will get through it. Just have to think "this isn't me, it's my hormones" and let it go. But I would have done the same thing. If my husband went away and never texted me the morning after a bachelor party I would freak out. I'm with you.
I'm going to offer a different perspective… And please don't take this the wrong way because I'm not trying to be insensitive, but I think you significantly over reacted. He contacted you multiple times the night before with thoughtful words. Just because he didn't contact you the very first second he woke up the next morning does not mean he doesn't care about you. Or at least that's not the way I would interpret it.
The other behaviors that you mentioned of yourself ignoring his phone call, not talking about the issue you're upset about but still secretly being upset about it and then interpreting his apology as "dumping lighter fluid on it "sounds immature. I would try to evaluate how much of your response is hormone driven, and try to have a rational conversation about it with your husband.
Again, not trying to attack you, and don't think your being psycho. Emotions are tough and sometimes the get the best of us.
Bwahaha! Oh my! I can appreciate this. When I was pregnant with my first, I had just unclogged the sink (took a long time to do it) and then my DH cut his hair and then rinsed it down the same drain. I was livid and I let him know this. I overreacted. He knew it was the hormones.
I think it might be a good idea for you to read what you just wrote us here. I think you know that you overreacted; those darn hormones!
Talk to him, let him hear your thought process, and acknowledge to him that you overreacted. He sounds like a patient and understanding guy. It'll be okay.
I think you need to apologize to your husband. Multiple times. And maybe talk to your OB about your irrational feelings. He did nothing wrong. Even you realize this, so you need to get control of your feelings or talk to your doctor if you can't do it in your own.
I second talking to him. Tell him what you are going through. Try to tell him exactly how you are feeling and what you are going through. Blame the hormones but make sure he understands this isn't you-normally.
Your hormones do seem to be a bit extreme. From experience, I would talk to your Dr and see what they can do to help.
I understand being emotional while pregnant but it seems like you have taken it to a whole new level and you also seem to be well aware of that. I think it would be healthy for you to talk with your husband and explain the way you are feeling and how it's different now that you are pregnant. I also think you should talk with your doctor sooner rather than later to see if they can help. While being pregnant you feel all sorts of different, but when baby comes it's a whole new world. Take this time during your pregnancy to work on things so by the time baby comes you'll hopefully be more level headed.
I remember scolding my husband for not aiming the shower nozzle down after he was done so when I turned it on it sprayed off the walls and out of the shower while I was standing there with clothes on.
I'd talk to your husband about what's going on and apologize because he tried apologizing to you multiple times. And if you're concerned about how your hormones are raging that might be something to discuss with your OB.
Yeah, I think this goes beyond normal pregnancy emotions. It is going to be a long 9 months if you don't work out how to deal with your emotions in a mature way.
I'm so sorry you're dealing with this OP, and I agree with PPs who point out that this kind of behavior is cause for alarm. If you're feeling out of control emotionally and/or experiencing intense mood swings, you need to contact your doctor and/or therapist immediately.
Thank you ladies for all of your responses! I called my doctor this morning after reading some suggestions to do so. He called back and said what I'm experiencing is normal at 8-12wks. He said if it's my first pregnancy and I'm 8wks, then this is my first experience with it. He described that many women with morning sickness don't have the emotional symptoms that I have while many women without morning sickness have more emotional symptoms. Interestingly enough, my bouts of nausea and queasy stomach definitely reduced as I became more emotional. I can't tell which I'd rather have!
I have my first appt next week, and we will talk more about it then.
My husband has been really sweet and supportive all morning and apologized for not being more supportive before (even though I'm the one who should be apologizing to him).
Thanks again to everyone who took the time to respond and give advice. I really appreciate it. It's tough to not feel like myself, so having such awesome support is really great.
Thank you ladies for all of your responses! I called my doctor this morning after reading some suggestions to do so. He called back and said what I'm experiencing is normal at 8-12wks. He said if it's my first pregnancy and I'm 8wks, then this is my first experience with it. He described that many women with morning sickness don't have the emotional symptoms that I have while many women without morning sickness have more emotional symptoms. Interestingly enough, my bouts of nausea and queasy stomach definitely reduced as I became more emotional. I can't tell which I'd rather have!
I have my first appt next week, and we will talk more about it then.
My husband has been really sweet and supportive all morning and apologized for not being more supportive before (even though I'm the one who should be apologizing to him).
Sigh. What a ride.
I hope you did apologize.
Since you know your behavior is irrational perhaps you can find a way to rationalize your way out of it. You can still have feelings without taking it out on your husband.
Re: Fighting with husband
You actually have to make a decision to let this all go and start fresh. I would apologise to your husband and ask to move on. I would probably apologise several times. If you feel this anger bubbling up again maybe re-read what you wrote here to remind yourself of what it can lead to. I'm no expert but this level of emotion (especially if it's totally out of character for you) is not really a normal pregnancy 'symptom'. If you can't seem to get past this, you should get advice from your doctor. Good luck!
Best of luck
The other behaviors that you mentioned of yourself ignoring his phone call, not talking about the issue you're upset about but still secretly being upset about it and then interpreting his apology as "dumping lighter fluid on it "sounds immature. I would try to evaluate how much of your response is hormone driven, and try to have a rational conversation about it with your husband.
Again, not trying to attack you, and don't think your being psycho. Emotions are tough and sometimes the get the best of us.
Bwahaha! Oh my! I can appreciate this. When I was pregnant with my first, I had just unclogged the sink (took a long time to do it) and then my DH cut his hair and then rinsed it down the same drain. I was livid and I let him know this. I overreacted. He knew it was the hormones.
I think it might be a good idea for you to read what you just wrote us here. I think you know that you overreacted; those darn hormones!
Talk to him, let him hear your thought process, and acknowledge to him that you overreacted. He sounds like a patient and understanding guy. It'll be okay.
2010: Infertility
October 2015: missed miscarriage #2 at 11 weeks (trisomy 22)
Your hormones do seem to be a bit extreme. From experience, I would talk to your Dr and see what they can do to help.
I think it would be healthy for you to talk with your husband and explain the way you are feeling and how it's different now that you are pregnant. I also think you should talk with your doctor sooner rather than later to see if they can help.
While being pregnant you feel all sorts of different, but when baby comes it's a whole new world. Take this time during your pregnancy to work on things so by the time baby comes you'll hopefully be more level headed.
I remember scolding my husband for not aiming the shower nozzle down after he was done so when I turned it on it sprayed off the walls and out of the shower while I was standing there with clothes on.
I'd talk to your husband about what's going on and apologize because he tried apologizing to you multiple times. And if you're concerned about how your hormones are raging that might be something to discuss with your OB.
It's a boy! Grow baby, grow! EDD: 4/22/2016
I have my first appt next week, and we will talk more about it then.
My husband has been really sweet and supportive all morning and apologized for not being more supportive before (even though I'm the one who should be apologizing to him).
Sigh. What a ride.
Since you know your behavior is irrational perhaps you can find a way to rationalize your way out of it. You can still have feelings without taking it out on your husband.
2010: Infertility
October 2015: missed miscarriage #2 at 11 weeks (trisomy 22)