Infertility treatments and anxiety

mskeenan · August 2015

Hi there everyone . I am just feeling so incredibly alone and stressed out . I'm in my 3rd month of treatments and I don't know why every time I go in to the doctor I feel like I'm going to burst into tears at any moment . Im normally an emotional person but at this point I feel like my anxiety is just through the roof as a result of all this added stress of so many doctor appointments, missing work for procedures and hormone injections . Any recommendations on how to manage the stress ? I've been trying acupuncture and that has helped some . My husband is beyond supportive but it's so hard because he is always so positive and I am always feeling like the downer . I have my first IUI tomorrow and I am trying so hard to stay positive . I just feel so alone because I don't know anyone personally going through this and it's so hard to talk to people about this .

plumeria05 · August 2015

Hi there. Unfortunately there's no easy fix to the emotions and depression. I'm going through my second round of IVF and the shots and meds really mess me up and I try to get a massage every week and acupuncture. I get into these dark moods where I blame myself and seeing people with babies; well it's just too much. I just wish there was an easy way to deal with IVF but you're not alone. I haven't told my family or friends so my poor husband gets to hear/see the waterworks and different moods lol. Good luck tomorrow and I'm here if you need to vent some more or compare notes.

pascorra · August 2015

My husband and I went through 3 cycles of IUIs and just finished one of IVF. So, I can completely relate with the ups and downs. My advice is take it "one day at a time" and constantly remind yourself why you are doing this and the reward. You need to be kind to yourself! If you are having a bad day, let it be exactly that, a day. The next one force it to be better. Whether it's going to acupuncture, a massage or just trying to meditate and breathe for 5 minutes. I did ( and I am doing) all of the above, and also go on walks..it really helps to be outdoors. Just know you are not alone, there are 1000s of women who have a similar journey. This is a great support group to just get things out. I also remind myself and try to put things in perspective, not every woman has a supportive husband to go through this, or the financial resources to be able to give this process a shot. So just remind yourself of the good, and breathe.

Joyzie77 · August 2015

@pascorra - good advice. I'm sorry that you are feeling alone and stressed out. It can be a tough journey. Know that this is a good place to come for support. My advice would be to take care of yourself and just take it one step at a time. It can get overwhelming. I haven't been here for long (this is my first IVF after one failed Iui) and see how it gets to be a lot. With the hormones and injections and doctors appointments .... I too have a supportive husband and that makes a big difference but remember to just take it one step at a time. Sometimes it's hard to see the bigger picture when you are in the middle of it all. Baby steps if you have to.... I have to tell work tomorrow that I need to be out on Wednesday and I'm freaking out. It's hard to stay positive all the time. Hang in there.... Know that there are lots of us here to give you support.

mskeenan · August 2015

Thank you all for the support. I really appreciate it. It's nice to not feel so alone. These forums remind me that we are not alone in this! I made it through my IUI this morning and remained calm so I was pretty proud of myself for that. Some mild cramping now but definitely was a lot easier than I thought. Now just have to wait 2 weeks!! Ah! I had 3 mature follicles at my last ultrasound (more than I've had in the past) so I'm hoping to have some success this time. We shall see.

plumeria05 - Great idea with the massages! I think its important to treat ourselves especially well through all of this. Like you, I have often blamed myself for these struggles my husband and I are going through. I have started to tell some close family and that has helped me some. Initially I wanted to keep everything private between my husband and I. The more I kept these private I felt like I was ashamed of all of this. Telling my mom and dad and a few close friends has made me feel a little less alone. It is hard though because I don't really feel like people can really understand the struggle since they haven't gone through it themselves.

@pascorra - Taking one day at a time is definitely good advice. I have tried meditation recently too and that has been helpful. I probably need to get out of the house more. Lately, I just have been feeling like being alone on the couch It is important to remember all the good-I feel so grateful for supportive family and my husband who somehow maintains composure and positivity through this all.

@Joyzie77- Yes-one step at a time indeed! I have a tendency to get ahead of myself. I hear you with the work stress-I feel like I have to miss work at the drop of a hat because my body decides to cooperate or not cooperate. All the hard work and stress will be worth it for us, though! I guess just have to remind ourselves of that.

mskeenan · August 2015

Also-random question. How many IUI attempts would you say before moving to IVF? I have heard mixed things and I guess it just depends on your individual situation but my doctor seems to think 3 tries of medicated cycles (either timed intercourse or IUI) and then moving on to IVF. Since this is my first IUI, I would at least like to try 2 more before discussing IVF. I am 28 and have been diagnosed with PCOS (only get my period 1-2x/year if at all).

KLake42 · August 2015

This whole thing is a roller coaster, so it's normal to have intense feelings. I just try to breathe, and I try to really *pay attention* when I have a good day, so I know that I'm not just completely depressed and out to sea about all of this. And I have good days. And bad days.

I don't know what to say about moving from IUI to IVF. I'm planning to do a run of 6-7 IUIs (have done 4) before going there. But I never TTC before these IUIs, so I wanted to give it a shot (if I were hetero, I'd be trying timed intercourse for a good 6 months before even going to IUI). But even healthy people have limited chances with IUI. Chances improve substantially with IVF.

mskeenan · August 2015

@KLake42 I agree it's important to remember the good days . It's just crazy how one day I can feel great and so positive and then a day later just feel so down on myself . I blame the hormones . We just gotta hang in there !

I was planning on doing times intercourse for six months before trying anything else but my doctor seems to think my uterus is too high up to get pregnant with intercourse . I wonder how much IUI is really increasing my odds .

Knottie36622473 · August 2015

I'm going to do 6-7 IUI's before moving on to IVF I think. I'm on my 5th now and in the 2ww. If this one fails my doctor is doing lap surgery for endometriosis. After surgery I'll probably try 1-2 times more with IUI and medication...after that I'll look into IVF (preferably mini/micro IVF) or embryo adoption (for my own religious/ethical/personal reasons). I'm praying it doesn't have to go that far...:( It's beyond stressful. I can barely focus on work. I feel like I'm doing the minimum at my job...it's horrible. I just shop, get pedicures, cook, restore furniture with chalk paint, hang out with friends, take walks, do boxing twice a week, and watch my favorite tv shows to stay distracted.

@KLake42 have you or your wife looked into embryo adoption? Much cheaper than donor eggs. One clinic in California called California Conceptions has a 65%-75% success rate each transfer. I understand if you want your eggs or your wife's...I just didn't know if you knew about embryo adoption or if it was an option

Good luck ladies and hang on.

KLake42 · August 2015

@Knottie36622473- we haven't looked into embryo adoption yet, mainly because we'll consider IVF with my eggs first, and IVF with her eggs second (her bloodwork is normal, mine shows low reserve). If neither works, I'll be concerned that something is wrong with my uterus/implanting ability, and we might start leaning to adopting an already-born baby or small child (foster/adopt is on our list of options). So, we probably won't go for donor eggs.

But embryo adoption-- I'll add that to my list of things to consider. Thanks!

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