1st Trimester
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Feeling guilty over not going to work?

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Re: Feeling guilty over not going to work?

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    I'm on ur side! I'm 10 weeks and if I had to work I would of been fired! My last pregnancy was a breeze so I understand the ladies who hasn't experienced this to not understand it...... I would of never thought it was possible to feel this way but here I am..... In bed all day dreading going out anywhere... Don't feel alone BC ur not !!!
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    4N6s4N6s member
    I haven't missed a day. I don't feel 100% but I think I'd feel worse if I sat at home all day.
    I think you just need to push yourself and get through it. I have pep talks with myself throughout the day.
    I know what I'm capable of and am definitely not over exerting myself. Haha
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    I'm wondering how this will affect me at work. I've had the following thoughts or things I've read:
    • the "suck it up" advice
    • how did women deal with it since forever
    • feeling very down about women who are in a less fortunate position than me
    Less fortunate meaning I have a pretty flexible boss and a pretty flexible job. It's full time and one of the worst things is that I work in an open-office. Sucks for me on the daily but I know that when I think about the grand scheme of things, might not be so bad.

    I just took off a lot of time from work for vacation and it was on vacation when I learned I was pregnant! So, vacation was mostly morning sickness! It has sucked. Today I'm feeling basically normal, somehow keeping nausea and cramps away, and I feel on top of the world. Not sure if that feeling will last but it makes me think work won't be so bad. My work consists of co-workers stopping by my desk allll the time, being in small rooms with people for hours at a time, and giving presentations. I am not worried about showing, being a pregnant lady doing all of this because as far as I know it won't suck as much as morning sickness! (There is, of course, the fact that I haven't planned out when to tell my workplace I'm pregnant. Luckily, I hope, I won't give birth until after our busy season.)

    I was worried that I'd have to take all of this extra PTO and sick time, which I have, but that it doesn't look good. I can even work from home if I work it out with my boss but it would only work if I was at home--where I could barf or whatever in peace--and my mind was clear enough to work. I am sure I will feel guilty about missing work. I mean, its's bad enough that I feel pre-guilty about taking maternity leave/short-term disability, and that's a shame I think that.

    I do wonder how my friends and coworkers did it, pregnancy with their jobs, but then I don't want to ask because I haven't told anyone but our parents that I'm pregnant! As for how to deal at work this coming week, I can only hope that what I've found successful so far will continue to work as well as giving myself more time before work starts to work out nausea.
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    Wow.  Whether you agree or disagree with the OP, I would think some of you (adults) could think of kinder ways to say it.  Share your own experiences and keep your judgements to yourselves.  This looks like a message board written by catty middle school girls.  
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    Wow.  Whether you agree or disagree with the OP, I would think some of you (adults) could think of kinder ways to say it.  Share your own experiences and keep your judgements to yourselves.  This looks like a message board written by catty middle school girls.  

    ^^ written by a middle school girl.

    The real world isn't butterflies, it's real. Those of us with tough work ethics push through because we have to to provide for our families.

    DD1 born 11/2014

    DD2 born 6/2016



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    Probably shouldn't get involved, but I just wanted to interject my 2 cents here. I think the bottom line is, we're all very different and going to give different advice in different ways. We come from varied backgrounds, environments, and cultures which will determine our general outlook on things. Some may use tough love, others may use a TLC approach. Either way, look at the intent of the message to see if the person was trying to be helpful or not. If not, ignore it. If you don't like it or are offended, take it with a grain of salt and understand that's what has worked for that particular woman, and she's trying to help you from her perspective. That's what I observe and adhere to, and it works for me. :) 
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    Wow, some of you are super harsh. I'm 11w1d and this is my first pregnancy. I too have missed A LOT of work- almost 3 weeks. It's been super rough for me as well and I commend those who are able to work though it all but all of our experiences are different. I could barely eat, nothing at all would stay down including fluids, I have lost 13 lbs and been so nauseas all day everyday. Luckily for me I own my own business but everyday I stay home I feel guilty and think about the people who don't have that luxury.

    Just continue to talk to your doctor and do what you feel is best for your situation.
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    I think women can be so harsh. Things like "suck it up buttercup," and comments of the like are just rude and non-suppoortive. Blah. I'm one of those who had to quit my job early on(6 weeks in) due to the nature of my job. I work with Thoroughbred racehorses and wild ones at that. I was constantly at risk because I was so exhausted and dizzy. I found myself clinging to the side of a horses face as I was blacking out at one point. All of us women are different, I feel like because of the feminist movement we are all trying to be heroes. Some of us should take a break, chill out. You want to exhaust yourself and force yourself to work, that's your perogative but you shouldn't shame someone for calling out of work. Our lives are short. Sit down, take a break and take it easy. Exhaustion can be brutal, and in my case could be life threatening.
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    I love cupcakes!
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    @cupcakesramazing they must be good if you had 30 lbs available to lose during your first tri... And don't worry about me in the real world, I worked through an MBA while working full time as well. I know a thing or two about work ethic.

    Nice fat shaming there...

    DD1 born 11/2014

    DD2 born 6/2016



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    @CupcakesRamazing you're right. That's was low and I apologize and feel ashamed. This discussion frustrated the hell out of me and it got the best of me. I wish all of you all the best.

    I appreciate you coming back to apologize, thank you.

    DD1 born 11/2014

    DD2 born 6/2016



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    I'm in the suck it up buttercup camp. Wait until you have your second. Good luck telling your toddler you're too tired to mommy today.
    This ^^^ I get it. I really do, but despite the fatigue you have to adult.


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    gabanz said:
    I'm surprised at how rude a lot of you women are
    Well, this isn't very polite either. I'm just saying. Its not a nice or supportive thing to say.


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    @cupcakesramazing they must be good if you had 30 lbs available to lose during your first tri... 
    Lurking but had to speak up about this utter bullcrap comment.
    Are you f-ing serious with this?
    What kind of person says that? 
    Didn't you JUST go off about people who are "offensive and aim to make other people feel poorly about themselves?"
    That's the most offensive thing I've read on this entire thread.


    Low. So low. C'mon on now. That's completely uncalled for. :-q


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    I've been pregnant twice and I know how exhausting it is, especially in the beginning but I'm of the mind set to just "get on with it" as well. I would go to bed early, take naps if I could but I didn't miss work. I was trying to save all my time off for maternity leave!

    With that being said, I have no idea how intense your fatigue is, but it's going to be a super long 9 months so if you can push through and go to work then I would do it. The end of the pregnancy is going to much more exhausting.

    This 100%. I was lucky enough to become a SAHM shortly after I had our first LO, but I worked damn near every day of my first pregnancy. Most days I even had to walk to work and back home (which took about 30-45 min each way). You do what you've gotta do to help provide for your family. And just a heads up, but the first few weeks after you have the baby, are WAY more exhausting!
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